# I'm putting this under health & wellness...



## Shimmer (May 22, 2006)

because well, imo it's health related.



Y'all it's KILLING ME how freaking uneducated these girls today are about their bodies. Some of the things people ask me regularly make me ask what in hell happened to their health class, or  their mother.

"They" wonder why the STD rate in this nation is as high as it is amongst teenagers and even early twentysomethings...

BECAUSE THESE KIDS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THEIR BODIES!!!

Common misconceptions:

1. You can lose your virginity to a dildo/vibrator/your finger/sex toy. Never mind that a virgin is someone who has not had sex, and that the hymen can break due to being an athlete.
2. Masturbation makes you a slut. (what?!??!)
3. Oral sex on a female doesn't potentially expose the performer to STDs.
4. Oral sex on a male doesn't potentially expose the performer to STDs.
5. As long as you're receiving oral sex you're safe. 
(contradictory much??)
6. Using lubrication when having sex means you're not really into it and therefore not turned on. (That whole female cycle thing where a woman's hormones fluctuate has obviously never been explained...)
7. Egg yolky/jelly like discharge is a sign of chlamydia and means you should be tested immediately!!!! (Hello. It means, unless there are signs such as smell, itching or burning, etc. that you just OVULATED and you are extremely FERTILE RIGHT NOW child.)
8. Anal sex without a condom feels better. (I really didn't know what to say to this one other than 'Have you lost your MIND??')
9. If a man likes his wife/girlfriend/bed partner to be shaved 'down there' it means he's secretly a pedophile. (*blink*)
10. If neither of you orgasm, you're still a virgin, even if he did penetrate the vagina.

I see these things and I just get so ANGRY because these kids are doing things and they don't KNOW about the dangers, and the good parts, and they don't KNOW their bodies and our fucking society won't let them be TAUGHT.


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## Jennifer Mcfly (May 22, 2006)

Wow, that's just sad. They really need detailed sex ed in all middle schools. I had almost a week's worth when I was in school. Those freakin' right wingers who voted to take sex ed out of school and simply preach abstinence really screwed stuff up!! but yet, they still don't want to help support 16 year old single mothers...argh!


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## Shimmer (May 22, 2006)

IMO sex ed doesn't need to be a "class" it needs to be an open discussion with a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL held once a week with girls and once a week with boys and then once a week with them together...teach kids the clinical facts and answer questions LIKE THESE THINGS MENTIONED ABOVE clinically, and _educate_ these kids not about sex and the moral implications but about sex and the risk/reward ratio.


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## YvetteJeannine (May 22, 2006)

*Or what about the "You can't get pregnant if it's your first time" myth?  I'll bet a whole lotta girls realized that was a myth  REAL QUICK!!!  (Too bad they found out too late).*


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## Shimmer (May 22, 2006)

YES!!!

But these kids are going to argue all of those things with you and it's just sad.


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## Shimmer (May 22, 2006)

Not to mention that the misinformation is so potentially dangerous it's not even funny.


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## Rank_as (May 26, 2006)

deleted


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## Shimmer (May 26, 2006)

Your mom did the right thing, in my mind. I'd love to see more parents take the initiative to do what your mom did.
Granted, none of us wants to think about our kids having sex, however I'd rather think about them being sexually active than think about them catching a host of diseases and being pregnant at 14.


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## Wattage (May 26, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *shimmer* 
_Your mom did the right thing, in my mind. I'd love to see more parents take the initiative to do what your mom did.
Granted, none of us wants to think about our kids having sex, however I'd rather think about them being sexually active than think about them catching a host of diseases and being pregnant at 14._

 
I personally agree that educating children about sexuality is very important. However, I have to politely disagree that education alone will prevent the spread of STDs and incidence of teenage pregnancy. I know plenty of girls who came from liberal, well educated families that discussed sex in a healthy manner and they still ended up with one or the other. I also know many girls and boys that were abused sexually and ended up in negative sexual situations not due to lack of knowledge, but purely as a product of their circumstances.

Educating children about sex is purely a matter of personal opinion. Some strategies work for some families, others do not. Religion and culture also factor very strongly into the outcome. 

I may be biased because I grew up in a very liberal family on the west coast of Canada. I have never heard of a girl who got pregnant the first time she had sex - but thought that she couldn't. I am definitely not saying your observations are incorrect, but rather that perhaps we should give kids a little more credit. I grew up in a small town and unfortunately a lot of young girls got and still get pregnant before graduation. Some of them I knew. From my personal experiences with these people, none of their malconsequences stemmed from lack of knowledge or misinformation, but really from a lack of self-esteem.


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## YvetteJeannine (May 26, 2006)

*Wattage Wrote:* Quote:

 *I personally agree that educating children about sexuality is very important. However, I have to politely disagree that education alone will prevent the spread of STDs and incidence of teenage pregnancy. I know plenty of girls who came from liberal, well educated families that discussed sex in a healthy manner and they still ended up with one or the other. I also know many girls and boys that were abused sexually and ended up in negative sexual situations not due to lack of knowledge, but purely as a product of their circumstances

Educating children about sex is purely a matter of personal opinion. Some strategies work for some families, others do not. Religion and culture also factor very strongly into the outcome. 

I may be biased because I grew up in a very liberal family on the west coast of Canada. I have never heard of a girl who got pregnant the first time she had sex - but thought that she couldn't. I am definitely not saying your observations are incorrect, but rather that perhaps we should give kids a little more credit. I grew up in a small town and unfortunately a lot of young girls got and still get pregnant before graduation. Some of them I knew. From my personal experiences with these people, none of their malconsequences stemmed from lack of knowledge or misinformation, but really from a lack of self-esteem.
* 
 
*I am a volunteer for Big Brothers Big Sisters (I'm a Big Sis...lol)..And unfortunately, the common misconceptions Shimmer posted really are true!! I've seen it with soooo many young teens. I also used to volunteer in a couple youth centers...one was suburban, one was inner-city..To hear some of the coversations those teenaged girls would have amongst themselves is enough to scare the hell outta any youth worker. I worked with a girl who did get pregnant because she had NO IDEA she could get pregant her first time..Another girl lost her virginity to a boy she was dating because he told her he had the "blue balls" and that it could send him to the E.R. in terrible pain, and may hurt him for life! The things I heard were crazy!! There were even girls in my class that would talk about using SARAN WRAP FOR CONDOMS!!!! This kind of misinfo. DOES come from lack of education. My 13yr. old niece and I had a talk and the things I heard her come out with (misconceptions) were unbelievable!! I gave her an excellent book for Christmas this year all about sex and girls' bodies. Statistical studies have been done on towns/cities/schools with and without sex ed. programs for adolescents and teens, and those with good sex ed. programs had a significantly lower pregancy/STD rate. Just food for thought. When I was about 11, I read my sisters' book "Our Bodies Ourselves"..so I was educated (thankfully, because my mom sure wasn't talking about it, and my school didn't get around to sex ed. 'till about 10th grade..a 'lil too late for most girls!!!!). I do agree low self-esteem is a VERY big issue..and a big reason young teens have sex..but so is misinformation. And after all, it's not really about stopping teens having sex (because we never will)..it's about ensuring they have the knowledge to have "safer" sex.*


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## Wattage (May 27, 2006)

Thank you, Yvette. I appreciate you sharing your volunteering experiences


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## Turbokittykat (May 28, 2006)

I saw a documentary about sex education in Texas recently. Or rather, lack of sex education in Texas.

Scary stuff!

What possible reason could there be to remove information about contraception from text books and teach abstinence only?! Kids are human, they are curious and they have hormones. I think one of our main responsibilities as adults is to provide kids with the knowledge they need to keep themselves safe, the self-esteem and confidence to know what's right for them and to insist on it and then to step back and let them learn, with the knowledge we will be there for them if they need us.

The documentary I mentioned was just awful. A 19 year old girl told the interviewer that abstinence was the only possible way until marriage because she didn't want to get pregnant. The interviewer asked her about other options to ensure that, such as condoms, and the girl answered that "condoms have been scientifically proven as being designed to break". And she believed it totally. I was appalled.

How on earth do these children think _married_ women keep from being pregnant _all_ the time?!

I think it's bordering on abuse to lie and withold information on how to protect oneself from these kids.

And don't even start me on the Silver Ring Thing.


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## Turbokittykat (May 28, 2006)

I also personally know girls who got pregnant the first time they had sex because they thought they did not need to protect themselves because it can't happen the first time.

I grew up in a very rural area where most girls just expected to settle down and have families, and where, to coin a much used cliche, there wasn't much else to do. Quite a few girls became pregnant before they had even finished high school, (16 years old). Some even intended to!


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## Wattage (May 28, 2006)

Thank you both for your contributions. I guess I just took for granted the services I had when I was growing up. We had clinics called "Planned Parenthood" where you could get free STD and pregnancy testing, cheap prescription pills and examinations. There were also free condoms and tons of pamphlet type stuff. 

Do they have any services like this in the States and UK?


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## Turbokittykat (May 28, 2006)

In the UK whilst I was growing up we had Family Planning Clinics. They provided advice and contraception free and they probably did STD and pregnancy testing, (I'm not sure as I didn't need those services). They were more interested in providing appropriate care than worrying about your exact age, and I don't think they had to inform parents or your doctor that they were providing contraceptives. I don't know what form they exist in today due to cuts in healthcare funding but I'd hope they are still going.


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## Shimmer (May 28, 2006)

Planned Parenthood is in the US as well, however quite honestly due to certain privacy laws etc., I believe they are somewhat limited.
As an addition, many parents are not comfortable with schools teaching sexual education...which I don't understand.
The goal of the education is not to teach or preach a viewpoint, but to inform the student, which allows him/her to make informed decisions.


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