# Too high of a sex drive?!



## X4biddenxLustX (Oct 9, 2009)

This is going to be a TMI post, I will warn you ladies lol. Feel free to please move this post to whatever section you feel it's appropriate.

So as far back as I can remember I've ALWAYS had a pretty high sex drive (I'm almost 19 now). I thought about sex a lot. Wanted it a lot. It was manageable for me at that point even though it sort of annoyed the guy I was having sex with. He would complain when I would pretty much ask him over and over again for more sex cause I wanted more of it. He would often compare our sex drives and his would be more lower or average and mines would be either high or extremely high at different times. I learned to just stop asking for second rounds cause he didn't feel like it and settled for just one round of great sex. I started masturbating more and things were fine. I was content.

I eventually went on birth control (Nuvaring) and noticed that it lowered my sex drive to a level where I wasn't thinking about sex a whole lot or wanting it all as much as I use to. Which for me was a great thing. I cannot tell you how many times if someone could magically pop into my head and see what I was thinking, it would be SEX. Or something sex related. It was a great feeling and I felt relieved in a way to not be about sex sex sex so much.

I ended up getting off of the nuvaring and my sex drive stayed on a "normal" level for months and months but then BAM! It went into complete OVERDRIVE. It was 10x worse than it had ever been. I literally constantly thought about sex. Fantasized about having it. I wanted it ALL THE TIME. And the more I had it the more I wanted it again. There was one week where I kid you not, I masturbated every single day. For at least an hour a day, at least once a day and usually more than once. Then on top of that I still continuously craved sex. It was awful! I felt like some sex maniac had suddenly taken over my mind and body. 

Eventually it started to get back to normal like it was before. I started on nuvaring again about a little over a month ago and lately these past few weeks my sex drives going wayyyy up again. Which is so weird because the first time I was on nuvaring it decreased my sex drive by a lot. I'm not sure if the nuvaring has anything to do with the increase again. 

But I really hate how I'm feeling. I keep wanting sex! I keep fantasize about having it with different guys, including guyfriends who I'd never think about having sex with. I'm not saying I'd definitely have sex with them but I just keep thinking about it in my head. And its making me feel really uncomfortable. Honestly at this point the thought of even not being able to have sex scares me to the point where I wanna freak out cause i want it soo badly. Plus the fact that my partner and I probably are not going to be speaking to each other anymore which means no more sex doesn't help at all either! Especially with the fact that I keep thinking about having sex with guyfriends and different guys. I just don't want to do anything stupid and ruin a friendship or have sex with just some guy cause I keep wanting it so bad. I've tried masturbating more and it doesn't help that much. 

In a way too I feel ashamed for having all these fantasies and thoughts all the time. I know it's natural but it just makes me so uncomfortable.
I hate feeling this way soo much. I'm not sure what to do or what's wrong with me?! I just want a normal sex drive where I feel that sex isn't running my life or my mind cause I feel like it is right now. Has anyone ever felt this way before or anything similiar to it? And if so can you please give me any advice on how to help if possible fix this?!!


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## moopoint (Oct 9, 2009)

It might be helpful to see a doctor. Could be a hormone imbalance.

My sex drive has always been higher than any of my boyfriends too. And I can relate, it is frustrating being turned down for sex constantly. It always makes me feel un-sexy.  I wish I could say my story had a happy ending, but I eventually just learned to stop asking my bf (we've been together 3 yrs now) and wait for him to approach me. Which is literally never. I love him so this is my compromise. But it does suck. But the thoughts don't plague my mind like it seems to do you. That's why I can manage. I doubt my story helps you, but I thought I'd share.

xxhugsxx


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## gildedangel (Oct 9, 2009)

Maybe you should consider going back on the birth control. I would definetly talk to your doctor about it; especially since it it affecting your life so much.


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## TISH1124 (Oct 10, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *moopoint* 

 
_ *it is frustrating being turned down for sex constantly*. _

 
yeah that is what my dh tells me all the time!!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 I probably need to send him to see a doctor too...

OP

I wish I had some useful info to help you with however I don't because I can't figure out how to control my dh's sex drive other than giving him Tylenol PM (j/k) I know this is serious for you because it is serious for him...I hope you find a way to work it out or how to control it at least. Just know you are not alone and there are a lot of men and women that have the same high sex drive...so you have nothing to be ashamed of.






!!


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## BeccalovesMAC (Oct 10, 2009)

Forbidden thanks for sharing this with us. I wish I could say that I understand but I dont. I think you should see a doctor. There is nothing wrong with fantasizing bout certain stuff. I wish I could have ur problem because I never want to do it with my hubby.


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## Simply Elegant (Oct 10, 2009)

The only bad thing about it is having too many thoughts taking up so much of the day. Everyone's different and you're just at the very high end.


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## X4biddenxLustX (Oct 10, 2009)

Thanks ladies!

moopoint - You've actually made me feel a bit better to be honest so thank you =]. Cause I too have always seemed to be more interested in sex compared to the guys that I've always been with. I'd actually be very disappointed if I hung out with the guy and he left without having sex with me or showing an interest in wanting to have sex with me. Or when they turn you down for a second round too. I also have stopped verbally asking for more sex, instead after the first round I'll be ALL OVER him. Just in the hopes of maybe him getting the hint that I would like to go at it again but it doesn't happen. I seem to ask myself a lot if it has something to do with me too, like is there something wrong with me? Am I not sexy enough or good enough in bed for them to not want to have more sex with me?! But I've realized at the point that the real culprit is my sex drive. It's just that our libidos aren't on the same level as the guy's. 

I'm due for my yearly exam the end of this month and need more refills of the nuvaring so yeah this is going to be an awkward question I'll have to ask my gyna =/ I just hope I won't get any weird looks or reactions. I know that doctors hear it all but it still feels so weird to ask them about it. 

gildedangel - I just went back on the nuvaring about a month ago. So far it seems to not be doing much at all unlike it did the first time I was on it. =[

tish1124 - Give me a man with a crazy sex drive anyday LOL j/k! I too hope that there is just some way out there to help curb this. I just never to seem to have met anybody, not friends or anyone that I know of personally who wants sex as much as I do. Not even guyfriends! Yeah there in there teens still and early 20's but nothing compared to me. I've even had a partner admit to me that he doesn't really get horny all that much. 

beccalovesmac - Please take my sex drive lol! If it was only possible I could give it to someone else who would actually want it lol. I'm really envious of you. I wish I could just be like meh whatever about sex instead of like YES! PLEASE! Yeah fantasizing about things is normal but I honestly find it sooo annoying it especially when it involves guyfriends and people you really don't want tio have sex with in real life. But it's like those fantasies are giving me ideas that I don't wanna act out on.

simply elegant - It does take up a huge chunk of my day cause my mind will be sex sex sex sex sex over and over again =[.


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## LatteQueen (Oct 10, 2009)

I do have to give you props for airing your major personal situations on here..I don't have the nerve to do this at all..Hopefully some folks on here can help you out with your situation..Good Luck...


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## MaskedBeauty (Oct 11, 2009)

I agree that you should talk to your doctor about it. And don't be afraid to talk to them about it, that's what theyre there for! And as far as the masterbating not satisfying you, maybe you can try investing in a vibrator or something along that line. Maybe it will do a better job of satisfying you when you can't have sex? Hope this helps!


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## Dahlia_Rayn (Oct 11, 2009)

I would talk to your doctor about other options then the nuvaring as well, if it's something that truly truly bothers you, a drastic option is DepoPrevara.  It's a form of birth control that's been shown to drastically reduce sex drive.  I am not a doctor, so I can't recommend anything, I'm just throwing that out there so you can do some research. 

There are other reasons besides hormonal that your sex drive could be wild, so your doctor may recommend that you see a psychiatrist as well.  If it is something that bothers you that much, it's worth looking into.  On the plus side, it's great that you are comfortable with your sexuality, a lot of young women don't have that for themselves!


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## moopoint (Oct 16, 2009)

It's actually quite refreshing to hear that someone else has a high sex drive. Makes me feel like less of an outcast. Thanks for opening up


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## User27 (Oct 16, 2009)

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## Lapis (Oct 22, 2009)

For me the key to what you said is you are uncomfy with your sex drive, if you aren't comfortable you need to see a doctor and/or a therapist, you need to figure out a way to lower it to an acceptable level for you
Your normal does not have to be what everyone else's is, just one where you are happy and fully functioning 

I do have a very high sex drive, higher than my husbands and most of my ex's, lol, I've never had anyone investigate it because there was no need, it may not be sated as much as I would like but most guys aren't either, lol

I'm like the opposite of Casadalinnis, the decisions I've made, the places I've gone to in sexual experimentation (I am proud to be kinky) and my norm for me are the best ones and only enrich my life.
My sex drive, fantasies and other idiosyncrasies have never made me or my husband uncomfy and he shares some of them so I am able to spread my wings with someone I trust, but I do it from a position of first being comfortable with me, which is key.
I hope you are able to find your own comfort


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## X4biddenxLustX (Oct 22, 2009)

Sorry I haven't updated in a while ladies, I've been pretty sick + aunt flow decided to drop by and visit ugh lol! 

Maskedbeauty - I actually bought a vibrator about a month ago but haven't used it yet so I'm a sex toy virgin lol. This is going to sound contradicting but in a way I'm very open about my sexuality, wants and desires but at the same time I'm kind of embarassed about masturbating and using sex toys. I can't really pinpoint why but it sorta makes me think that if I have to resort to sex toys and even masturbation it means that I'm not getting enough sex, the real stuff and it sorta makes me feel like well a ......loser. Like I'm not good enough for a guy to want to have sex with me over and over again. Yet at the same time I totally know that "helping yourself out" is a completely normal thing to do and that there is nothing wrong with it though. It's just so weird how I think sometimes meh. 

Dahlia_Rayn - I will mention this to my gyna on my upcoming appointment and see what they say too. I too have heard that the "shot" as me and my friends call it does definitely decrease your sex drive by a lot. I'm still baffled as to why the nuvaring isn't cutting my libido down this time like it did the first time I was on it? Maybe it's still in that initial period where my body's still getting use to the change of hormones? 

moopoints - Well I'm glad you and me found each other on here! It's good to know that we're not the only horny girls in the world lol =p Plus it's also nice to finally be able to say that your not the only one who feels or thinks a certain way about something too!

Casadalinnis - Wow, girl *hugs*. Thank you for your post, it really made me think about a lot of things like on why I think this certain way or why I feel this way when it comes to sex. Watch your inbox, you'll be expecting a PM from me soon =]

Lapis - Yeah, I really do hope I can somehow find a good perfect medium for my sex drive. Something that I'm okay with and not freaking out over. 
This is going to again sound odd, but I'm really not all that kinky. I just like regular sex for the most part. Like I love and want sex soooo much but I'm just not really a "freak in bed". I do have the normal fantasies (office, business man, etc.) and I do like hairpulling, getting smacked around a bit, and some choking (but this is ONLY with someone I trust). But the things that my friends have told me they've done sexually sometimes are just like WOW, I feel like a prude lol! So I guess I'm a horny girl that's still a bit reserved in bed. And this surprised the people who really really really know me cause you'd think that a girl this crazy about sex would be into some kinky stuff but I'm actually not lol.

As for seeing a therapist about this, I'm currently seeing someone right now for other things. I did mention it a little bit during our last session cause there is SOOO MUCH going on in my life right now it's kind of a mess to sort through everything right now. But I had told her that me and this guy have been arguing a lot lately and that sometimes I just want to stop arguing with him and just have sex with him. Actually like in the middle of fighting, I'll suddenly just get aroused and want to have sex with him. To me that's not normal cause your going from, "I hate you, your such an ass, blah blah blah" to "Can we have sex please? I'm sooo horny, please?" I guess I do it cause I get sick of arguing and you can't really argue during sex now can you? lol. 

But this will be something I'll be bringing up in the next couple sessions with my therapist cause it really is another stressor in my life.


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## MaskedBeauty (Oct 22, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *X4biddenxLustX* 

 
_Sorry I haven't updated in a while ladies, I've been pretty sick + aunt flow decided to drop by and visit ugh lol! 

Maskedbeauty - I actually bought a vibrator about a month ago but haven't used it yet so I'm a sex toy virgin lol. This is going to sound contradicting but in a way I'm very open about my sexuality, wants and desires but at the same time I'm kind of embarassed about masturbating and using sex toys. I can't really pinpoint why but it sorta makes me think that if I have to resort to sex toys and even masturbation it means that I'm not getting enough sex, the real stuff and it sorta makes me feel like well a ......loser. Like I'm not good enough for a guy to want to have sex with me over and over again. Yet at the same time I totally know that "helping yourself out" is a completely normal thing to do and that there is nothing wrong with it though. It's just so weird how I think sometimes meh. 
_

 

Don't feel like a loser. Honestly you are a very beautiful girls and theres no reason why you should feel like you're not good enough for a guy. Guys are seriously assholes. And sometimes they purposely reject you because you they know you want it bad and its a power trip for them. As for the sex toys I think you should try em out because I think for you it would be a good alternative when you can't have sex exactly when you want it ya know? There's a website called babeland.com. Maybe you can find something there that interests you or that you feel comfortable using? Hope this helps!


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## Lapis (Oct 23, 2009)

Oh hon don't be embarrassed about masturbating it's perfectly natural, I'm a mother of 2 trust me on this, my kids let me know when they found their happy places, lol
And I'll be truthful I sleep next to my husband we have a good sex life, I still keep my toy box close, I still buy toys that are for me and me alone, there's no shame and pleasing yourself!
I like Blowfish: Expert Advice and Great Prices on Sex Toys, Vibrators, Adult Videos, Lube for toys for the range and reviews, I've been pleased with everything I've gotten from them.

Now this will be the preachy teacher part of me coming out, choking aka breath play is actually one of the MOST dangerous games you can play, it's banned from many public play spaces and yes people have died, it's actually pretty hardcore for a not too kinky person 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



if this is something you really like to apply in your sex life, find the local group and get the bf trained! 
Read up a little Breath Play


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## L1LMAMAJ (Oct 28, 2009)

one of my best friends was on nuvaring, she said it decreased her sex drive. but yes, like the others said, go see a doc to be sure.


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## User27 (Oct 28, 2009)

****


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## barbie.doll (Nov 16, 2009)

Imo, you may just have the high sex drive because you're young! I'm turning 20 in February, and mine is _very_ high as well. It's probably just our hormones!


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## beautiijunkii (Dec 2, 2009)

Ooh, baby luv I feel your pain!!!!!!!!!!! I have an extremely high sex drive as well - makes you want to pull your hair out, huh? but I could never bring myself to have sex with "just anybody", I'm just not the casual sex type of person, no matter how horny I get (I wish I could because I'd be alot happier
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




. If you're feeling like something is wrong, I'd suggest going to the doctor. It could be a hormonal imbalance like someone else had mentioned. If I had my way, I'd put an end to my conscience and screw all day long.


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## Kragey (Dec 2, 2009)

I'm a sex blogger. I get told all the time that what I do as a part-time job is "inappropriate for a young lady" and that it makes me look like an "oversexed whore."

I tell them, thank you very much, I love being inappropriate and oversexed. 

Really, people underestimate female sexual capacity. I think it's because, biologically speaking, the male sex drive generally is like one flat line going right across the middle of a chart...and a woman's sex drive is constantly diving and leaping up and down with her cycle, sometimes admittedly dipping below the consistent male line, but also swooping way up past it from time to time!

As for sex toys: I review sex toys a lot, and it has never really made sense to me why people are so insecure about their partner having sex toys. It's a piece of silicone; yes, it vibrates, is neon green, or makes my coochie tingle, but it cannot wash my dishes, snuggle me, or pull my hair and call me its beyotch.  Hell, I think using toys with a partner = epic sexual win, and I'm more likely to NOT want to date somebody if they don't own a single toy.

Some people do have very different sex drives, and that can lead to sexual incompatible within a relationship unless a compromise can be figured out. Because I have a VERY high sex drive, one of the "compromises" I make is using BC pills, which temper it a bit.

Lastly, sex addiction is painful and underestimated, but rare. It's only an addiction if it interferes drastically with your normal life and you cannot help yourself. Sex addicts do not have sex because it feels good, they have sex because they're addicted to it, and they may ruin their lives seeking sex multiple times a day to get the addictive chemical rush from an encounter. Many people think about sex WAY more than they'd like to admit it. I think about sex in the middle of my college courses, when I'm meeting with a professor, when I'm examining produce at the grocery store, when I'm trying to fall asleep, and--oh, don't pretend this has never happened to you!--when my parents are talking to each other over my head.


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## Funtabulous (Jan 3, 2010)

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