# College Roommate Frustrations!!!



## chocolategoddes (Aug 31, 2009)

I usually try to refrain from whining about my problems on Specktra, but I've just been so stressed and frustrated that I needed to rant to some people on the internet who wouldn't mind reading what I have to say.

Before going off to college, I had this fantasy in my mind that I'd form some kind of bond with my roommate/s. I'm aware that not everyone becomes BFFs with their roomies, but I at least wanted to try to get along with mine, hang out with them, and get to know them.
Well, I recently moved into the dorms at my university and none of that has happened between my roommates and me.

I live in a triple room and it seems that my two roommates have become best friends and they just ignore me most of the time. On our first day of meeting, they instantly seemed to have a connection and they would only talk to each other. I'd attempt to join into their conversations and they'd chuckle and comment on whatever I said, then go on with whatever they were talking about. They wouldn't even make eye contact with me most of the time, indicating that I really wasn't part of their conversation to begin with.They made it very clear that they were pretty indifferent on getting to know me.

It's only been a few days, but they hang out like they're best friends and they barely interact with me, no matter how hard I try to join in. I'll invite them to go get something to eat and they'll decline my offer, only to go out and hang out with each other instead.

Part of me has already given up on forming a relationship with these girls but when I see them go out to parties together or gossip about people they mutually know, it does really hurt my feelings 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			




I kind of want to tell them how I feel, but I don't want to come off like a total loser, crying about how they don't like me and _wah wah wah_.

It's only been about three days since we've all moved in and I've met a lot of really awesome people in my halls and classes, but I guess I'm kind of craving that _buddy-nes_s that my roomates have. When you're in a new environment, it's easy to feel lonely, even with all these people around you. I know eventually I'll make a lot of great friends, but at this moment I'm just upset over how my roommates have already closed themselves off from becoming my friend.
I constantly ask myself "why they're treating me like this?" _Did I say something to turn them off? Is it because I'm black? Am I intimidating? Do I smell funny?_
_Is my fierceness too much for them to handle?_

So, I guess if anyone has any advice on how to deal with this, has gone through a similar situation, or can make me feel better (lol) feel free to share.


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## nunu (Aug 31, 2009)

I think you should just be honest with them and tell them exactly how you feel. Sit them down and tell them that you would like to hang out with them more etc..

See what they have to say, if they brush it off and carry on ignoring you then you're better off without them. You have met other people in halls and classes, hang out with them instead.

Hope this helps.


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## TISH1124 (Aug 31, 2009)

We girls are complicated creatures...I personally think it probably is your fierceness that intimidates them...They are more than likely jealous of the pretty girl...which you are...so their way of handling it is shutting the pretty girl out...But it won't change how you look or who you are....I would sit down and talk with them and just approach it as "Have I done something to offend you guys" Even though you know you haven't...Just let them know you want the roommate experience to be enjoyable for all three of you...If you guys gotta be stuck together then they may as well make the best of it and find the fun in it...by enjoying each others company.

If that doesn't work just beat the shit out of them in their sleep with a bag of oranges, they may come too later and feel differently about how they are treating you ...j/k


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## joey444 (Aug 31, 2009)

I agree with Tish.  I think they're already hating on the pretty girl!  I know it's easier said than done but try to ignore them and try to make your own friends to go hang out with.  They're doing what they're doing on purpose because they can see it bothers you.  Once they see that what they do doesn't phase you and furthermore, you have more fun than what they're probably having, the tables are going to turn and THEY'RE going to be asking YOU to hang out.  Good luck and enjoy every minute of your college experience =)


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## coachkitten (Aug 31, 2009)

My suggestion to you is to stay friendly with these girls but to proceed with caution.  I also suggest that you get yourself involved in as many dorm related activities as you can so you can meet other people in your same dorm to become friends with.  I met a lot of great people that way some who are still my best friends today.

I am going to sound like a mom when I say this but it is those girls loss if they don't want to be your friend.  You are pretty, have a great sense of humor, and a nice person.  Do you have a RA that you can talk with?

I hope things start to get better for you!


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## jjjenko (Aug 31, 2009)

I had a pretty bad roommate experience last year when I first started college. She was crazy. If the situation gets too bad maybe you can talk to your RA about it and maybe you can switch into a different room. I wasn't getting along with my roommate after the third week and suggested that she apply to transfer out, and she did. I hope everything works out for you!


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## AmandaCA (Aug 31, 2009)

I was pretty much in the exact same situation as you my freshman year. There were 6 girls in my suite. One had no interest in socializing with any of us, the rest were constantly hanging out and talking, and then there was me. When the girl who had no interest moved out after the first semester, my roommate, who I had thought was a friend even if she was distant to me, moved out into the other room without telling me. 
I'm not going to lie, I was pretty damn miserable all year and it was in huge part because of where and who I lived with. They ranged from politely distant to downright mean to me. 
The only thing I can recommend is just remaining as distant to them as they are to you. If they're like that in the very beginning of the year, they are definitely not going to change. Find friends elsewhere and just try to hang out in their rooms with their roommates. Minimize the amount of time you spend in your room, where the environment is not healthy mentally. I really regret not taking more initiative and doing that more often. 
Show your roommates that you will treat them with cordiality and respect, but you don't need their friendship or their approval if they're not going to give it to you.

Edit: I actually recommend leaving if it comes to the point where you hate or feel uncomfortable in your room. Another thing I wish I had done.


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## frocher (Aug 31, 2009)

............


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## gildedangel (Aug 31, 2009)

Them not wanting to hang out with you is their loss, you are one of the funniest people here on Specktra (I always LMAO at your posts)! I had a similar situation with my suitemates last year. Do ask them if you did something that bothered them to let them know that they are being rude. Otherwise, don't let it get to you. I went and hung out with other people on my floor in their rooms and I didn't feel too lonely, honestly. If you really want to be better friends with your roommates, just move! You would be amazed at how many people in dorms are moving throughout the year, rooms constantly open up, and there is high demand for dorms where I am. Don't let them get to you, just do your own thing and have your own college experience, even if it doesn't include them!


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## L1LMAMAJ (Sep 1, 2009)

it's not u. don't worry.

for college roommates, u either hate them or love them. at least in my experience. my bff is my roommate from my soph year in college and i didn't get along with my fresh year roommate. i mean i was tolerant of her but i wasn't bff's. don't worry if you aren't bff's with ur roomies. as long as they try to be civil then okay but if things get out of control like they're stealing ur stuff or doing crazy skanky things then, definitely tell the RA or someone in charge. i had to change rooms during my dorm years because my roommate was that crazy. anyway good luck and keep us posted!


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## reesecup1908 (Sep 1, 2009)

My 1st roommate was very introverted. I couldn't keep sitting in the room all day and say nothing, so I ventured downstairs in the dorm. I met one girl and we clicked right away. She introduced me to her roomate and I found out her roommate lived in the next country back home. So I kinda became their "third" roommate. I invited my roommate to come along and go out with us, but I don't think she ever did. But I learned you have to make your own fun, no matter who goes, or who doesn't want to go with you.


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## Babylard (Sep 1, 2009)

well they sure are a bunch of cunts... can i say that here? cunts? *chuckles* some people just dont grow up and are stuck in "high school mode".  im sure you'll find someone you can connect better with soon!


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## TISH1124 (Sep 1, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Babylard* 

 
_well they sure are a bunch of cunts... can i say that here? cunts? *chuckles* some people just dont grow up and are stuck in "high school mode". im sure you'll find someone you can connect better with soon!_

 

I know right and I have decided versus beating their ass with a bag of oranges I think I would prefer a bag of Pool Balls...that may work better ...If it doesn't kill them it will sure as hell make them nicer...guaranteed success


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## chocolategoddes (Sep 1, 2009)

This whole situation is *VERY* high school. You're supposed to venture out and meet different people, not stay in your same clique and talk behind your own roommate's back.
I would confront them about it, but I'd kind of feel like I'm "forcing" them to be friends with me and I don't want to do that.
To be honest, they aren't really the "type" of girls I usually befriend but I'm still open to getting to know the people.

I guess I should be happy that they don't steal my shit and hog everything and I can obviously have friends outside my dorm room, but I'm just really confused and upset over this.

I'll never understand girls.


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## astronaut (Sep 1, 2009)

At least you don't have roommates who are disrespectful enough to have sex while you're in the room... yet. Hasn't happened to me but I've had at least two friends who have had that happen to them! 

About those girls, eh, not worth getting to know. If they aren't friendly people then well, that's their problem.


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## User27 (Sep 1, 2009)

****


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## cazgh (Sep 1, 2009)

Aw really feel for you - like it isnt hard enough anyway to start somewhere new without getting stuck with that as well.

How nasty of them to be so selfish though.  I had a similar situation and it was pretty horrific the whole way through - I'll never forget it thats for sure.  One of the girls would talk to me when it was just me and her but when the other one came back I would be flat out ignored again!  

It was so bad - it was like, if I tried to start or join a conversation I was ignored, unless I was spoken to first (like being invited to speak) then I would be tolerated.  They were the most hateful girls I have ever met.  This wasn't college either - this was a job!  I learned to make friends in other departments - they were always so much nicer to me and just got my head down.  And eventually they all moved onto new jobs and it became a brilliant place to work as some really nice girls moved in instead. When they moved on though a part of me really hoped they got a taste of what they dished out back.

At least you have people here who really like you and if you can find other people to enjoy the company of that will be good for you.  

Hope it works out ok!!!  What doesn't kill us makes us 100% stronger and far better for it in the long run.

My hubby really got picked on at school because he was really quiet...  He loves now seeing those bullies working the checkouts at his local store - reminds him he has moved on loads!!


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## chocolategoddes (Sep 1, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *cazgh* 

 
_How nasty of them to be so selfish though. I had a similar situation and it was pretty horrific the whole way through - I'll never forget it thats for sure. One of the girls would talk to me when it was just me and her but when the other one came back I would be flat out ignored again! 

It was so bad - it was like, if I tried to start or join a conversation I was ignored, unless I was spoken to first (like being invited to speak) then I would be tolerated. They were the most hateful girls I have ever met. This wasn't college either - this was a job! I learned to make friends in other departments - they were always so much nicer to me and just got my head down. And eventually they all moved onto new jobs and it became a brilliant place to work as some really nice girls moved in instead. When they moved on though a part of me really hoped they got a taste of what they dished out back._

 
This is EXACTLY what I'm going through! I'm sad that it happened to you but at least I'm not alone.
I actually talked briefly with one of my roommates while we walked to classes and she's really nice but she completely ignores me and talks to the other roommate when they're together.
I feel like I just fade into the walls when I'm around them. I'm totally not myself.

Actually, just a few hours ago, they went out to get dinner together and just left me in the room. They could've easily invited me out with them with a simple "_Hey Kensie, wanna come_?", but they just grabbed their purses and left instead. I wasn't really hungry anyway but I was kind of hoping they'd at least ask if I wanted to join them.
I know I could've "invited myself" or "found other people to hang out with" but it's easier said than done. Not much really goes on in my hall.
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




See, this is why I don't post stuff like on Specktra. I just come off as a pathetic loser! LMAO!!!


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## Makeup Emporium (Sep 2, 2009)

I hate to say it but we "girls" sure can be nasty creatures sometimes.  I stayed away from dorm life for University and opted to get an apartment instead.  I was lucky and got a 1 bedroom just off campus and lived by myself.  I found that it was a freeing experience being on my own and wouldn't trade it for the world.  It could have been nice being in the dorm but my luck I would have been stuck in a nightmare situation.

I would have preferred to be in the guy's dorm anyway.  I find that I tend to get along much better with guys as they are just less...complicated.  They say what they mean and generally there is far less bullshit involved.  Not to mention the showers would be more fun! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Hang in there; it's only been a little while so hopefully things will get better.  You are probably not missing anything anyway as they don't sound like the kind of girls that you'd want to be friends with anyway.  Anyone who can treat others that way does not deserve to have you as a friend!!  You will find others who are nicer and more deserving of your time.  

You are definitely too fierce for those bitches!!


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## chocolategoddes (Sep 2, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Makeup Emporium* 

 
_I would have preferred to be in the guy's dorm anyway. I find that I tend to get along much better with guys as they are just less...complicated. They say what they mean and generally there is far less bullshit involved.* Not to mention the showers would be more fun!*



_

 






but seriously, i'm stuck in an all-girls hall. i'd much rather be in an all boys dorm. i could get over the messy rooms and the B.O.


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## cazgh (Sep 2, 2009)

Aw really sorry to hear that it is this bad for you... If possible then I would suggest having a look at moving cos it probably wont get any better.

Put simply I think its a form of bullying and it is really not fair at all!!!

Always here for a chat if you need me!!!


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## ginger9 (Sep 2, 2009)

I do agree with TISH, they are likely jealous girls and they feel intimidated because girls who are secure with themselves don't exclude people like that. I also agree with some posters that you should find other activities and friends and give it some time. Just my opinion, if it were me I wouldn't bother to have a conversation with them, because I think they may interpret that as something negative (since they seem to be of the immature variety). I would be polite and cordial with them and do my own thing. Also if they are cool girls maybe it takes some time for them to get to know you and get over their insecurities. I also believe in karma, perhaps they are getting along NOW but who knowS maybe down the road they'll each be bitching about the other to you!! LOL

Enjoy your college experience! Those are the best years!


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## Boasorte (Sep 2, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *ginger9* 

 
_I do agree with TISH, they are likely jealous girls and they feel intimidated because girls who are secure with themselves don't exclude people like that. *I also agree with some posters that you should find other activities and friends and give it some time*. Just my opinion, if it were me I wouldn't bother to have a conversation with them, because I think they may interpret that as something negative (since they seem to be of the immature variety). I would be polite and cordial with them and do my own thing. Also if they are cool girls maybe it takes some time for them to get to know you and get over their insecurities. I also believe in karma, perhaps they are getting along NOW but who knowS maybe down the road they'll each be bitching about the other to you!! LOL

*Enjoy your college experience! Those are the best years*!_

 
I agree with all the above, plus u can always change ur roommates, if all else fails, just smack em! ( kidding )

College really is ur best years I'm enjoying mine even if it is only comm coll, don't let two skanks ruin ur frist semesters


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## luvsic (Sep 3, 2009)

GIRL WUT. You are so funny & nice, and everyone in the specktra community loves you! I don't understand why these girls can't see the light. 

Ok I'm going to give it to you straight, one part story and the other part advice.  

So I am not the best person when it comes to making friends. I am really good with making small talk, but becoming friends is another story. I look for the whole deal in friendships - we're just acquaintances until something prompts us to bond on a deeper level. I wouldn't describe myself as cold, but I am quiet and more reserved initially. In the past, I have tried making the effort to be friends with people (asking them to hang out, talking excessively to them) and I found that most of the time it falls flat. I used to get really discouraged, but I realized now that that's just the way it is - some people you will find you can talk to easily and be friends with easily, and other people you just won't click with (for me, I guess I didn't click with a lot of people lol.) For whatever reason - different expectations, lifestyles whatever. For example I don't think I could ever be the party girl who gets it on every thursday-saturday. And a lot of girls at my school are like that. I still love to go out and have fun, but because I'm not a huge social butterfly I don't have a whole slew of friends who like to party and be into that scene. I would rather spend an evening bonding with someone over dinner most of the time than try to connect with 50 strangeres at a huge party. Get my drift?   

I think I digressed too much....lol
*
Ok, to the point: *these girls sound like they aren't worth a drop of you time. By the way you're describing them, they're acting like cliquish, immature high school bitches who are stuck on themselves (a few other people have mentioned that here already. It's TRUE.) AND TOTO, YOU AIN'T IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE. Ugh seriously people like this PISS ME OFF. Just get over your f*cking selves! THIS IS COLLEGE!!! If you're busting your butts to try to be friends with them - STOP. Please. It already sounds like you deserve better than some girls who stick together in their small little world and are shutting you out of it. You've already tried connecting with them and it fell flat...and it's not your fault, so please don't be self concious about it either. You already tried - now move on! 

I know it may be difficult coming home and seeing them eat dinner together, coming home and seeing them gossiping, coming home and seeing them watching a Gossip Girl marathon blah blah blah. It's like a constant slap in the face of "ha ha he he you're not in our grouppp" but trust me, once you get the ball rolling with outside friendships (that you will make in class, in clubs, everywhere) I think all you have to do at that point is say hi with a smile and go to your room. Maybe you can invite one friend over to your apartment to just chill in your room if you're feeling too left out. Or you could inviate some of your new friends over to your apartment and throw a mini party with movies and snacks. Whatever you do though, It is a bad baaad idea to act bitter or snarky towards them. I have find through past experience that if you get hurt by somebody, being awkward and bitter is the WORST. It just reflects poorly on you, while the other party doesn't care.

You are pretty, nice and hilarious, I don't see how you'll have a problem making friends. Don't let one bump in the road put you off for your entire college experience! I posted something a while back about being afraid to make friends, but honestly, I find that the best friends I had I made really naturally and seamlessly. And it takes luck, too, to find someone who gets you and has chemistry with you (you'd be surprised in how much luck it takes!) I wasn't even looking to make friends with these people and things just fell into place. You will find the people you click with, it just takes a bit of time. Most college kids, especially freshman, usually like to scan the room and pick one or a few people to cling to within their first few days of class. And they'll act like bff throughout it. But if you can just look past that illusion of the "bff" they're putting up, you'll be so much happier. Look to clubs, people in your dorm, and campus events to make your future friends. Trust me, you'll make them.

I'm sorry that this happened so early with your college experience...but don't let it get you down. <3 good look

*Just a side note: When I first got to college, I saw people paired up everywhere - walking to class, eating lunch...and I felt sad and alone because I would often be alone. But sometimes, being alone is lovely (in moderation of course), and you can embrace it and make it a very special time for yourself. Often I study alone in the library, eat lunch alone outside of my library if it's a pretty day, go shopping alone. And over time, I noticed that for as many people who seemed like they're having such great time together, there were just as many people doing the same thing I was - eating lunch alone, studying alone, walking alone. So don't be fooled and intimdated by people who look like they're having so much fun with their millions of new friends. A lot of the times you aren't alone in feeling this way. It took me a lot of patience and time to realize and be ok with this.


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## chocolategoddes (Sep 4, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *luvsic* 

 
_I know it may be difficult coming home and seeing them eat dinner together, coming home and seeing them gossiping, coming home and seeing them watching a Gossip Girl marathon blah blah blah. It's like a constant slap in the face of "ha ha he he you're not in our grouppp" but trust me, once you get the ball rolling with outside friendships (that you will make in class, in clubs, everywhere) I think all you have to do at that point is say hi with a smile and go to your room. Maybe you can invite one friend over to your apartment to just chill in your room if you're feeling too left out. Or you could inviate some of your new friends over to your apartment and throw a mini party with movies and snacks. Whatever you do though, It is a bad baaad idea to act bitter or snarky towards them. I have find through past experience that if you get hurt by somebody, being awkward and bitter is the WORST. It just reflects poorly on you, while the other party doesn't care.

You are pretty, nice and hilarious, I don't see how you'll have a problem making friends. Don't let one bump in the road put you off for your entire college experience! I posted something a while back about being afraid to make friends, but honestly, I find that the best friends I had I made really naturally and seamlessly. And it takes luck, too, to find someone who gets you and has chemistry with you (you'd be surprised in how much luck it takes!) I wasn't even looking to make friends with these people and things just fell into place. You will find the people you click with, it just takes a bit of time. Most college kids, especially freshman, usually like to scan the room and pick one or a few people to cling to within their first few days of class. And they'll act like bff throughout it. But if you can just look past that illusion of the "bff" they're putting up, you'll be so much happier. Look to clubs, people in your dorm, and campus events to make your future friends. Trust me, you'll make them.

I'm sorry that this happened so early with your college experience...but don't let it get you down. <3 good look

*Just a side note: When I first got to college, I saw people paired up everywhere - walking to class, eating lunch...and I felt sad and alone because I would often be alone. But sometimes, being alone is lovely (in moderation of course), and you can embrace it and make it a very special time for yourself. Often I study alone in the library, eat lunch alone outside of my library if it's a pretty day, go shopping alone. And over time, I noticed that for as many people who seemed like they're having such great time together, there were just as many people doing the same thing I was - eating lunch alone, studying alone, walking alone. So don't be fooled and intimdated by people who look like they're having so much fun with their millions of new friends. A lot of the times you aren't alone in feeling this way. It took me a lot of patience and time to realize and be ok with this._

 
Aww, thank you. This is perfect advice for what I'm going through, especially the appreciating being alone. 
Today, I spent three hours on the lawn, no music, no texting, no computer... I just sat there alone with my sketchpad and pencil, and I drew pictures. 
I felt so at peace and relaxed. 
Then, right when I was heading back to my dorm, guess what I see:
My roommates driving in a car, laughing and dancing together. They didn't even notice I was walking by myself. It felt like something straight out of a movie, actually. But I was so calm and I forgot about how angry and hurt I was.

I do feel like they rub it in my face, but sometimes I can't even tell if they realize it. 
I know this sounds dumb, but I'm just not used to people... ignoring me like that.
I'm trying to just occupy myself with different activities so I dont spend as much time in the room. I'm joining a lot of clubs, I have a job on campus, I'm working out at the gym a lot, and I'm studying like crazy already (majoring in biology is no joke!)

I really do want to thank all of you for just taking the time to even read my whiny rant and leaving advice since I've just been miserable these past few days. If I had a bag of sparkly diamond-studded rainbows kisses, I'd give each of you one!


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## spectrolite (Sep 4, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *chocolategoddes* 

 
_This whole situation is *VERY* high school. You're supposed to venture out and meet different people, not stay in your same clique and talk behind your own roommate's back.
I would confront them about it, but I'd kind of feel like I'm "forcing" them to be friends with me and I don't want to do that.
To be honest, they aren't really the "type" of girls I usually befriend but I'm still open to getting to know the people.

I guess I should be happy that they don't steal my shit and hog everything and I can obviously have friends outside my dorm room, but I'm just really confused and upset over this.

I'll never understand girls. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			



_

 
^I totally get how you would feel awkward confronting them. I mean, even though it is probably the logical thing to do and the right thing to do - doing it might make things worse or more awkward or weird! You just said that they are not the types of girls you would usually befriend - so why not just keep it friendly for now (be nice, smile etc...)and do what others have said and go out and make friends with people that you do "click" with and give them time to warm up to you. 

Honesty if they are treating you like this straight off the bat - not bothering to get to know you then they might not even be worth trying to befriend. Biatches!! I wish that I could be your roomie, you are incredibly gorgeous, you have Mac and you RAWK!!! They don't know what they are missin. What ever you do don't let it get you down. Seriously, it's not _you_, it's THEM.


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## luvsic (Sep 5, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *chocolategoddes* 

 
_Aww, thank you. This is perfect advice for what I'm going through, especially the appreciating being alone. 
Today, I spent three hours on the lawn, no music, no texting, no computer... I just sat there alone with my sketchpad and pencil, and I drew pictures. 
I felt so at peace and relaxed. 
Then, right when I was heading back to my dorm, guess what I see:
My roommates driving in a car, laughing and dancing together. They didn't even notice I was walking by myself. It felt like something straight out of a movie, actually. But I was so calm and I forgot about how angry and hurt I was.

I do feel like they rub it in my face, but sometimes I can't even tell if they realize it. 
I know this sounds dumb, but I'm just not used to people... ignoring me like that.
I'm trying to just occupy myself with different activities so I dont spend as much time in the room. I'm joining a lot of clubs, I have a job on campus, I'm working out at the gym a lot, and I'm studying like crazy already (majoring in biology is no joke!)

I really do want to thank all of you for just taking the time to even read my whiny rant and leaving advice since I've just been miserable these past few days. If I had a bag of sparkly diamond-studded rainbows kisses, I'd give each of you one!_

 
That's a great first step!!! Your roommates honestly sound like really uncool and clingy people. *eye roll* they'll be out if your system in no time.

It's great that you're keeping busy...especially because as my therapist says, you don't go to school to make friends - your top priority is to do well and be a good student. But of course, you don't want to go throughout school without any friends. It's just nice to know that you're focused on the books for now. I am a firm believer that if you get that out of the way (first at least) everything else will happen naturally.

Be sure to keep us updated on your friend hunt! good luck!!


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## chocolategoddes (Sep 6, 2009)

I honestly think being around them isn't good for my emotional/mental health.
Shit, even writing about them makes me angry but it really helps to just let it out, even if no one cares to read it.
I almost feel worthless around them and I don't understand how I can let _MYSELF_ get to that low.

Seriously, I don't even like being in my dorm room when they're in there, so I just hang out in other's people rooms or at school activities (like I played football today with a bunch of guys in my quad and it really took my mind off all this fuckery.)
My advice to anyone in my situation, where you're forced to live with people you actually kind of hate (I know, hate is a strong word but I'm actually starting to hate them) is to simply not to be around them.


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## Shanti (Sep 6, 2009)

Wow, this situation sucks.
I bet they're jealous cuz they make their makeup look like shit whereas you're good at it lol.
I know this sounds bitchy of me, but just cuz someone's not as gorgeous on the outside doesn't mean they'll always make up for it on the inside too. XD
Can't you get a room change? Ignorance is bliss, but you know you'd be thrice as happy and relieved to be outta there.


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## jungleland (Sep 6, 2009)

First of all I'm very sorry and sympathetic of the situation.

Maybe, if it is possible, you should try to change room.
Otherwise, just ignore them, I know it's not easy but it's the only possible solution without being nasty.
It's great that you have other friends and hang oaround with others, also being from time to time, on your own it's not so bad.
And i agree completely with the other poster who stated that it's not you ,it's them!
And frankly, do you really want to be friends with two people who still think they are in high school???
Trust me, you deserve better!!!
Hope you will feel better soon!


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## COBI (Sep 6, 2009)

I wouldn't try to force it.  You can let them know that you'd be interested in going to a party with them or something, but I don't think you should confront them with how you feel ignored or they're likely to add how sensitive and needy you seem to thier gossip list.

Some people click and some don't; it's nothing personal.  You said yourself, they're not girls you would normally befriend; it's likely they feel the same.

My friend's daughter just started her first year of college; she also has a triple.  One girl is very much into rural interests (equestrian, future farmer club), one is very urban (shopping, theater (professionally)) and the other is not really passionate about anything one way or the other.  Well, the first two did a similar thing to your roommates: they immediately clicked.  Despite their differences in interests, their personalities are similar: they are passionate and focused about school, they come from similar family structures, etc.

I think it would be very awkward for all involved if the third roommate tried to force things.  That being said, they do try to include the third roommate, but they also are not going to beg her to join them if she acts indifferent or ask them to join them in everything if she's indifferent while they're discussing it. 

I wouldn't be surprised if by the end of the first semester, the other roommate has made her own friends that she requests a rooming transfer to live with.

**Don't get too hung up on needing to be friends with your randomly assigned roommated.  Go out, make friends that YOU choose, and if you want, request a room change later.**


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## InspiredBlue (Sep 6, 2009)

I hope you can move to another room or get your own apartment. Even if you can stay occupied and out of the room, I think this will affect your emotional state and possibly harm your progress in your studies in the long run. If it's your first year, there is going to be so much new stuff happening in your life and it can get stressful. You don't need this added drama.

On a side note I find it completely absurd how college students are expected to _share a bedroom_ with random other students in the US. So weird. I'm a university student, but I'm also an adult, I own a three room apartment, I have a live in boyfriend and a dog. And if I went on exchange to the US, I'd have to share a bedroom with another girl, like I was a small child?


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## chocolategoddes (Sep 7, 2009)

I'm definitely going to talk to the housing office very soon!
Last night, the two of them came into the room, drunk with two guys they had just met who were very drunk too. The one guy left but the other guy would not leave and was coming on very strongly toward one roommate. 
He said he wanted to spend the night and the girls were going along with it. At this point, I was stunned by this and had to show this fool the way out because there is NO WAY a total stranger, who is drunk and horny, is sleeping in the same room as I am.
I didn't try to confront them because they were so wasted, but I told them how irresponsible and stupid that was and he could've raped them or done something dangerous!
That was really the last straw and my friend said I need to complain to housing immediately.


 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *InspiredBlue* 

 
_On a side note I find it completely absurd how college students are expected to share a bedroom with random other students in the US. So weird. I'm a university student, but I'm also an adult, I own a three room apartment, I have a live in boyfriend and a dog. And if I went on exchange to the US, I'd have to share a bedroom with another girl, like I was a small child?_

 
You have a point there. They just randomly throw two people in a room and expect things to work out, saying it'll prep us for the real world. I guess it's just part of Western culture.


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## tara_hearts (Sep 10, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *chocolategoddes* 

 
_This whole situation is *VERY* high school. You're supposed to venture out and meet different people, not stay in your same clique and talk behind your own roommate's back.
I would confront them about it, but I'd kind of feel like I'm "forcing" them to be friends with me and I don't want to do that.
To be honest, they aren't really the "type" of girls I usually befriend but I'm still open to getting to know the people.

I guess I should be happy that they don't steal my shit and hog everything and I can obviously have friends outside my dorm room, but I'm just really confused and upset over this.

I'll never understand girls. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
I am 100% with you on not understanding girls. And I think if you confront them, they will be all fake nice, then later on when they are alone they will be like "Omg she wants to be our friends because we are sooo supercool" /gag /dies
And then they will make it even more of a point to NOT be your friend.
Well from my experience anyways with clique-y  girls. I'd just play it off like you could care less what they were doing and when the 'new'ness of their friendship wears off they will open up more to you.


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## tara_hearts (Sep 10, 2009)

Woooah just read page 2.
I would definately try to get a new room. Bringing home strangers is very dangerous and I would have a fit if someone put me in that situation! I hope things work out better for you.


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## Shanti (Sep 13, 2009)

Wow, what they did was outrageous!
That's all I can really say... I'd be so angry with them.
They seem juvenile in so many ways =_=;
I'm sure that if you present the housing people with that situation, they'll agree to it. God forbid they tell you to stick it out.


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## MaskedBeauty (Sep 13, 2009)

Honestly.. I say fuck 'em. If they want to ignore you and treat you rudely and all that then they aren't worth your time and energy to begin with! Keep your head up!


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## MizzVivaGlam (Sep 14, 2009)

Ugh that really sucks! A sober person cannot live happily around drunk people. Trust me, I know. It will piss you off sooo much and drive you crazy everytime they are drunk. Try to get out of there.


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## kabuki_KILLER (Sep 14, 2009)

Here's my take on it. I was always the introverted person in the hall that didn't really go to events 90% of the time. I pretty much stayed cooped up in my room or the library studying brains/nerves or physics. I was cold, but not impolite. Many people were intimidated or scared by me, although I did nothing scary to anyone.

I think some friendships will develop over time. Often, if you hang onto people too much, they get annoyed. When you're cold to them, they cling onto you. Kind of ironic, huh? 

Chocolategoddes is a witty and smart girl, it seems, so don't worry about never finding friends. I used to be really sensitive about people not liking me growing up, but if they don't like you for some discriminatory reason, then just ignore them or move elsewhere ASAP if it really bugs you. Trash will always be trash. No point in trying to fix that.


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## revinn (Sep 14, 2009)

Oh man, the guys in my res building were JUST as clique-y as the girls last year, if not moreso.. So it's not just girls.

I'd say ask them if you did something to upset them. Chances are they'll say, "no no! Why would you think that?" and hopefully that will be enough of a hint that they aren't including you. Keep doing what you're doing and meeting new people. You seem like an awesome, outgoing person, so I'm sure that's not a problem for you! Don't let the immaturity of a few people ruin your first year of university!


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## purrtykitty (Sep 14, 2009)

The thing I've learned is that the high school behavior never ends.  That stunt with bringing drunk guys home is ridiculous and dangerous.  You should definitely speak with your RA to see if there's anyway you can move rooms.

In the meantime...keep doing what you've been doing.  Immersing yourself into school and campus life means that you'll get everything out of your education.  IIRC, you want to be a doctor, and this won't be your first interaction with people of this nature.  Don't let some immature girls ruin your focus.  You're a smart, strong, beautiful girl, and I just know that you have a lot of success to look forward to.


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## L1LMAMAJ (Sep 14, 2009)

i'm glad you are occupying yourself with other people and activities. just think of this as a blessing in disguise. now you have time to go out and meet real people that will accept and love you for who you are and give you no bullshit. we don't need bullshit in our lives...you're working out a lot which means that you're making your body more healthy. that's a good thing! good luck with everything!


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## chocolategoddes (Nov 22, 2009)

*UPDATE:*
I felt compelled to update everyone on my situation because it's honestly only gotten worse and anyone who follows me on twitter has probably seen the complete details.
I think the distance I've created between my roommates has turned into hostility. 
I actually have a decent relationship with one roomie, mostly because we have similar coursework so we can discuss homework and studying, but we still don't hang out outside of our room.

Now the other roomie is a straight up cunt! I could go on and on about the shit she's done. The sound of her fucking voice drives me nuts. Honestly, if she died, I wouldn't care... that's the best way to sum up my feelings about her. She's disrespectful, ignorant, obnoxious, and catty. The bitch threw cheese puffs at me while I was trying to sleep! I actually fantasize about beating her up with a metal pipe and I'm not even a violent person.

I did speak to housing and the RAs but because the school is so fucking packed, there is almost no room for me to move around. So basically they told me to "deal with it".
It's incredibly frustrating. They remind me of the girls who teased me in elementary school.
I have people I can hang out with, but I still want to be at peace in my own room without having to stress over them drunkenly stumbling in on Thursday nights when I have morning classes or having them whisper about me when I leave to use the bathroom.

_Any way I can cope with this?_ I feel like any conversation I have with them turns into a 2 against 1 argument and I'm not a fan of arguing because when I get angry, I go crazy. I've considered having my RA step in as a neutral buffer when we have our roommate discussions so it doesn't turn confrontational, but I still feel like talking doesn't fix anything.


I just can't wait for Thanksgiving break where I can see my family and friends, with my own room, no drama!


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## Boasorte (Nov 22, 2009)

^ People like that are the reasons I used to fight a lot in high school, cuz bitches, are just bitches.
Honestly, this may sound like not a big much of help, but honey, ignore them and don't stress it. They actually remind me of my sister,mother and aunt, who do shit like that to me.
Ignore them, the semester's over next month you won't have to deal with them.
But on the other hand, wtf was this bitch doing throwing cheese doodles at u? Is she that bored with her own life? This is college, omg she needs to grow up I feel like slapping her, and I'm on the other side of the country.
Ignore her, ignore her if she talks shit. But when she starts throwing shit at you, hell even if it's a cotton ball, you need to defend urself and tell her ur not gonna take her shit. OMG what a bitch


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## spectrolite (Nov 22, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *chocolategoddes* 

 
_*UPDATE:*
I felt compelled to update everyone on my situation because it's honestly only gotten worse and anyone who follows me on twitter has probably seen the complete details.
I think the distance I've created between my roommates has turned into hostility. 
I actually have a decent relationship with one roomie, mostly because we have similar coursework so we can discuss homework and studying, but we still don't hang out outside of our room.

Now the other roomie is a straight up cunt! I could go on and on about the shit she's done. The sound of her fucking voice drives me nuts. Honestly, if she died, I wouldn't care... that's the best way to sum up my feelings about her. She's disrespectful, ignorant, obnoxious, and catty. The bitch threw cheese puffs at me while I was trying to sleep! I actually fantasize about beating her up with a metal pipe and I'm not even a violent person.

I did speak to housing and the RAs but because the school is so fucking packed, there is almost no room for me to move around. So basically they told me to "deal with it".
It's incredibly frustrating. They remind me of the girls who teased me in elementary school.
I have people I can hang out with, but I still want to be at peace in my own room without having to stress over them drunkenly stumbling in on Thursday nights when I have morning classes or having them whisper about me when I leave to use the bathroom.

Any way I can cope with this? I feel like any conversation I have with them turns into a 2 against 1 argument and I'm not a fan of arguing because when I get angry, I go crazy. I've considered having my RA step in as a neutral buffer when we have our roommate discussions so it doesn't turn confrontational, but I still feel like talking doesn't fix anything.


I just can't wait for Thanksgiving break where I can see my family and friends, with my own room, no drama!_

 
^That seriously sucks. I got angry just reading it! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 How dare these bitches treat you with such little respect? You definitely should not have to live like that and if I were you I would keep pestering the RA's every single day until you get to move. Seriously - if you complain enough than anything is possible. There might be people moving around during the break so that would be a good chance for you to secure a new placement. 

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this crap. It's _bullying_ plain and simple. If you really feel that talking isn't getting you anywhere then it's time to just move on. Honestly it sounds like a nightmare.


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