# Are you often accused of "dressing up?"



## cno64 (May 8, 2009)

Ever since I was a teen, I've fairly often had people say things to me like, "You're all dressed up!" even when I was just wearing jeans and a nice top.
And whenever my mother and I would be getting ready to go someplace such as a family gathering, and I'd wonder aloud what to wear, she'd immediately say, "Don't get all dressed up; just wear something _comfortable_!"
And my sister often complained to our mother that she didn't like to go places with me because I was "always dressed up."
As I explained earlier, it wasn't as if I were wearing a cocktail dress and diamonds to a football game; I'd wear jeans or cords, a nice casual top and yeah, coordinating shoes and makeup.
I *was* comfortable, though!
Has anyone else had the same sort of experience?


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## enjoybeingagirl (May 8, 2009)

All the time ... I just feel more comfortable being pulled together.  I feel like a slob if I'm wearing my pajamas in public.


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## RedRibbon (May 8, 2009)

I always get told the opposite, i.e. that I'm dressing down.

It's quite disheartening at times when people think you've dressed down when you've actually made an effort, my usual home attire is just a tshirt and jeans so when I go to visit family I actually put some makeup on and wear smarter clothes.

I don't see the point of getting OTT dressed up when it's just a family thing and you're just going to visit them for no reason.  I dress up when needs be but even then people have to point out that I could make more of an effort.

I don't know how to say this bit witout seeming conceited but I will try, I have cousins who are older than me and really go ALL OUT getting dressed up for the smallest of things (they always have), they look like they're going out clubbing when it's only a family get together and they get praised for looking so good and "doing what it takes to get a man to pay you some attention".  They are all single, I don't make half the effort they make and I'm married?


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## Shimmer (May 8, 2009)

It totally depends.  I like to come to work looking presentable.  Sometimes that's more than most women want to put into gym attire. *shrug*  I climb and pole dance in full makeup.  Sometimes my hair is done, sometimes not.


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## L1LMAMAJ (May 8, 2009)

Yea people say that to me when I wear more makeup than usual (e.g. darker colors). They're like, "You're all dressed up!" or "You have sooo much makeup on!!" Sometimes the tone they use is not very polite. Or at least I feel like they're "judging" me. Whatever though. I "dress up" for me (and my boyfriend, haha).


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## pumpkincat210 (May 8, 2009)

Yeah, my mom accuses me of this. She often asks where I'm going and how my clothes would work better in some sort of fashion job.  Umm, I buy my clothes at Ross, often paying less than 8 dollars a shirt, especially since the recession.  I just dig and be creative..i'm in there for awhile, but you come across winners.  My mom says I try too hard, but really I don't, it's just my personal style, i'm not trying to impress anyone but myself 95% of the time! I get ideas from magazines and pictures and while i can't afford versace, I try to take care of what i do have and buy basics that can be worn in a number of ways. 

  I don't wear cocktail dresses and diamonds to football games either, but I pick out the clothes that best flatter my body and colors that work with my skin.  My sister does the same freaking thing as yours too!  I've offered to help her find the best outfits based on her body type as their are  tons of resources on the net for this but she just refuses.  I never insulted her, but wearing an oversized t shirt and jeans everywhere is not appropriate and she knows this because she often complains that she doesn't have any clothes.
 My friend was with me the other day and I suggested a really cute top, telling her it was conservative yet memorable and not drab, perfect for the interview she was going for, my friend loved it but unfortunately it was in the wrong size section and too big for her.  This other lady was seriously invading our space and you could tell she was listening to our conversation,and literally as soon as i put the shirt down she snatched  it up after hearing my thoughts on it and ran to the dressing room. I hope it worked out for her lol.

Oh, and it has been said numerous times..." it is better to be overdressed than underdressed!!"


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## pumpkincat210 (May 8, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_It totally depends.  I like to come to work looking presentable.  Sometimes that's more than most women want to put into gym attire. *shrug*  I climb and pole dance in full makeup.  Sometimes my hair is done, sometimes not._

 
Do you have a portable pole?  i'm interested in them.. not only for sex reasons, but they work muscles you didn't know you had.. its like 2 for the price of 1!


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## iadoremac (May 8, 2009)

I get accused all the time but i really dont care. I think if i am to go shopping for clothes why not buy the best of what the store has to offer hence i do not own anything simple or comfortable and i like it that way.


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## Lambchop (May 8, 2009)

Yep. Everyday. I don't wear pants. I am just so much more comfortable in a dress or skirt and cute top so I get told I'm dressed up all the time. I'm pretty sure that's why all of the other moms at my son's preschool give me mean looks.


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## chocolategoddes (May 8, 2009)

Lol! I have to laugh because I'm the total opposite.
Some are jeans and t-shirt kinda girls.
I'm an oversized hoodie and sweatpants kinda girl.

It's always better to be overdressed than underdressed, though. :/


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## OfficerJenny (May 8, 2009)

Yes, like every day.

For some reason, people think cardigans are dressy  They can be dressed up or down and I definitely dress them down at school.


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## User38 (May 8, 2009)

All the time
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





.... and I love it!!


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## luvsic (May 10, 2009)

I've gotten this before. I think it's rude when people ask if you're too dressed up if it's passive aggressively (in which it usually is), because like you said, I'm not wearing homecoming dresses to football games. And what I wear is my business and you can mind your own. I feel like if I were relocated to LA or NY, I wouldn't be considered "dressing up" at all if I wore what I wore I usually wear...but I live in a conservative state with even more conservative societal dress codes. 

It's like that time when I wore fake lashes to class, and this one girl asked me why I was wearing them in front of EVERYONE..."why are you so dressed up? why are you wearing fake lashes?" I wanted to punch her in the face and say "why are you so passive aggressive? get out of my face, bitch."

But to me, THIS is not getting dressed up:

















...THIS is.





(I designed all of these on polyvore ) 

But whatever...wear what you like. People sip on too much haterate. They're bound to overdose sooner or later.


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## Tahti (May 10, 2009)

I get told it all the time, and I agree with them ;D I LOVE dressing up, putting loads of effort into my visual appearance and wearing less than normal everyday clothes. 
It does make me stand out in a mostly relaxed-casual clothing crowd, but I don't mind at all ^_^


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## kaliraksha (May 10, 2009)

I sure do. I don't really mind... I realize it probably makes some feel uncomfortable, but I see that as their issue. Sure, there are times and days that I will go wearing yoga pants and a bright shirt and flip flops everywhere I go... that's my total bum outfit. I also don't do jeans... I also agree that skirts and dresses are more comfortable and if I have to do pants I'll do something tailored in a stretchier material. My weakness are dresses which require little thought. When I wear a t-shirt and jeans it's because I planned the accessories, hair and makeup and the only outfit that it worked with was a t-shirt and jeans.


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## florabundance (May 11, 2009)

Yeah I do...my response is always "yeah but only for you"/"only cos you're here"/"yeah i knew you'd be here". I find it to be quite a backhanded compliment. Like if you like what someone is wearing then a simple "you look nice" will do....IDK... but it gets on my nerves sometimes lol.


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## just.nicki (May 11, 2009)

Lol, sometimes I wish. I'm pretty much the opposite.

I always look mismatched with my face when I get dressed in the morning. Ha! I'm a straight-up t-shirt and jeans kinda girl (unless it's the weekend and we're going dancing or to the bar, then I actually clean up pretty nice, lol), but I always do a full face of make-up. It's really just because I like to play with eyeshadow and colors and I just love the stuff...but then I'm wearing something like a t-shirt and nike shorts and a pair of tennis shoes. My hair is NEVER done, unless I'm going out or some special function because it is outrageously curl and required a lot of attention to look nice. I just don't have that kind of patience on a daily basis. It's usually in a loose bun with a headband or something..


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## Shadowy Lady (May 11, 2009)

every.single.day! lol! I like to look nice though. When someone tells me I'm too dressed up with a funny tone and reproachful look, I just say: "I think you look too dressed down. Try my way, you might like it!" It usually works


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## NatalieMT (May 11, 2009)

I also like to feel together in what I'm wearing, how my hair is, how I've done my makeup. I suppose it makes me feel more confident in myself. I don't often go out in jeans and a tshirt because that's not my style anyway. The only time I'm not made up etc is when I'm going to the gym, popping out to get groceries etc because I don't feel there is any need.

I have had people pass comment but it's not usually 'you're really dressed up' more of a 'everytime I see you, you look like a doll', I've actually overheard people in the street saying I look like a doll. I don't take offence at it but at the same time I'm not really sure how to take it.


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## metal_romantic (May 13, 2009)

I don't know why anyone would accuse anybody of being too "dressed up" unless they were embarrassed about being too "dressed down" in comparison.

If you want to make an effort, then it's your time to spend. If that makes you feel confident and good about yourself, and makes you more productive, then that is time well spent. If the accusers put in a bit more effort to "dress up" then perhaps they could enjoy positive results too.

If they don't want to and they want to "dress down", that's their prerogative- but they should understand that another person "dressing up" is _their_ choice.


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## IDontKnowMomo (May 13, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *HerGreyness* 

 
_All the time
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





.... and I love it!!_

 
Same here haha. If I'm going anywhere in public, I normally get "dressed up."
If I'm with friends, I get dressed up if I feel like it, if not, then I'll wear pajamas


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## CantAffordMAC (May 13, 2009)

Ive gotten it before but mostly from my boyfriend. Sorry but I know that if I step out of the house in jeans and sneakers, im going to end up seeing someone that I should look HOT in front of, and I dont like that. Even going to the mall, if I am really not wearing anything cute, Ill probably feel uncomfortable because Ill see a lot of people wearing cute outfits and I dont like looking not put together. 

That being said, I hardly ever dress up anymore. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 Gotta go shopping


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## Brie (May 13, 2009)

I'd rather be over  dressed than under dressed for any occassion!
I know the sayings old but it fits me to a T

I really love being dressed up , i really like putting effort in the way i "display" myself. Sometimes it bugs me when people say stuff like that and i have to bite my tongue and not say "well I'd rather this than look like you!"" LOL

Basically if i am planning to leave the house i will be "dressed up" full make up hair outfit.... It really doesn't take that much longer and i feel more comfortable that way... Kind of get into a routine

oh and my thing is, if your going to do something you might as well go all out and do it properly.

That being said i wouldn't wear a ball gown to macca's, but id still probably be the most "dressed " there


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## allthatgl1tt3rs (May 14, 2009)

I think when people say it, it's because they either don't expect you to be that dressed up for the occassion in question/they're not used to seeing you in that sort of attire. And when I say "you" I mean all of "us" 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Last summer I had a total revamp of my wardrobe. One day I just looked in there and was like "ugh, nothing in here grabs me anymore, it's gotta go". I then restocked with tonnes of boho dresses and so on (I'm inspired by Sienna Miller, Kate Moss and more recently a bit of the punkier stuff). 
However my work wardrobe still consisted of my old smart gear that I'd only bought under a year before when I was having a bit of a fashion crisis. I look at those blouses and trousers now and think "oh dear. What WAS I thinking?!" 

It's like in the past year I had a fashion epiphany haha! Don't get me wrong, I've always loved fashion, I used to pore over my Mum's only ever copy of Vogue that I ever saw sat in the house for years. But when it came to me, I just don't think I previously ever had the confidence to pull stuff off - like recently I bought a bright red jumpsuit - if you'd had told me a year ago I'd buy that, I'd have laughed at you. It's coming in the post and I still wonder if it will suit me but I've decided I'm gonna go out on a limb and be daring (that's what life's about - taking some risks!)

I only recently managed to get some money together to update my work wardrobe and since people have been making comments like "wow, new top?!" or "you've really been dressing up of late" which does make me feel cringey about how I must have came across before.

To me though, I feel more comfortable being dressed up in public than dressed "down". In the house I'm happy to wear my scruffies but outside I have to feel like I'm making an effort. I think for me though, dressing "up" is a part of what I enjoy. I love to look pretty but some girls manage to still look gorgeous dressed "down"!


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## metal_romantic (May 15, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *pumpkincat210* 

 
_Yeah, my mom accuses me of this. She often asks where I'm going and how my clothes would work better in some sort of fashion job.  Umm, I buy my clothes at Ross, often paying less than 8 dollars a shirt, especially since the recession.  I just dig and be creative..i'm in there for awhile, but you come across winners.  My mom says I try too hard, but really I don't, it's just my personal style, i'm not trying to impress anyone but myself 95% of the time! I get ideas from magazines and pictures and while i can't afford versace, I try to take care of what i do have and buy basics that can be worn in a number of ways. 

  I don't wear cocktail dresses and diamonds to football games either, but I pick out the clothes that best flatter my body and colors that work with my skin.  My sister does the same freaking thing as yours too!  I've offered to help her find the best outfits based on her body type as their are  tons of resources on the net for this but she just refuses.  I never insulted her, but wearing an oversized t shirt and jeans everywhere is not appropriate and she knows this because she often complains that she doesn't have any clothes.
 My friend was with me the other day and I suggested a really cute top, telling her it was conservative yet memorable and not drab, perfect for the interview she was going for, my friend loved it but unfortunately it was in the wrong size section and too big for her.  This other lady was seriously invading our space and you could tell she was listening to our conversation,and literally as soon as i put the shirt down she snatched  it up after hearing my thoughts on it and ran to the dressing room. I hope it worked out for her lol.

Oh, and it has been said numerous times..." it is better to be overdressed than underdressed!!"_

 
Don't worry about what your mom or anyone else says. I am training to be an Image Consultant (I've almost finished my course and have started to find freelance work) and you are doing exactly what an Image Consultant should teach her/his clients to do- to dress to suit one's shape & colouring, find one's personal style, & "shop smart". 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



Dressing according to the above isn't necessarily "dressing up"- it's just dressing how one should dress ideally. Someone in trackpants and a T-shirt of a flattering fit, style and colour is always going to look better than someone in a beautiful designer ballgown that is the wrong shape, colour etc. for them. Perhaps when some people see others that have made an effort to look good, they feel a bit intimidated because they might think that if they made an effort they wouldn't look good anyway, so they don't try. With some people it would be a self-esteem issue. The good thing is that it's not really hard to dress well- if you have someone to point you in the right direction, encourage you and teach you the "rules" (eg. an Image Consultant- or a sister! hehe) then it becomes simple and part of the everyday routine. It actually takes a lot LESS effort than a daily routine of "oh no! I don't know what to wear!" and all that stress and rushing around and making a mess of discarded outfits on your bed, lol.


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## breechan (May 15, 2009)

I think that people often say things like that out of insecurity and jealousy. I try to keep that in mind when responding. I usually just say "thank you" with a big smile.
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 That disarms them. You shouldn't have to justify your preference to look "put together" either.


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## gildedangel (May 15, 2009)

I am accused of dressing up all the time! I like it in that I get complemented when I do, but then again I get annoyed because it happens most everyday because that is how I dress.


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## Lyssah (May 18, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Brie* 

 
_I'd rather be over dressed than under dressed for any occassion!_

 
That's my motto too! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 At least it always makes a positive impression and I always feel good so I can tackle anything that comes my way !


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## SparklingWaves (May 18, 2009)

delete


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## cno64 (May 18, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *RedRibbon* 

 
_
I don't see the point of getting OTT dressed up when it's just a family thing and you're just going to visit them for no reason.  
_

 
I'm talking about putting on a shirt or top and layering a sweater over it, and wearing plain Lee jeans, with boots or loafers, for the family Christmas gathering.
I don't consider that "dressed up," but my mother would say, "Just wear a tee shirt or sweatshirt and blue jeans; be _comfortable_!"
But I *was* comfortable!


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## palmetto_barbie (Jun 18, 2009)

one of my best friends told me..."you always look so pulled together...even in sweats"...and another..."Anna's always over dressed"...so I feel ya!


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## cno64 (Jun 18, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *palmetto_barbie* 

 
_one of my best friends told me..."you always look so pulled together...even in sweats"...and another..."Anna's always over dressed"...so I feel ya! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
The remark about you looking pulled together even in sweats is a great compliment, and the "over dressed" dig was undoubtedly motivated by jealousy.
If I were a betting woman, I'd bet my last $25 that you're not _over_ dressed, just _ attractively _ dressed.


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## eskae (Jun 18, 2009)

This happens to me ALL the time when I feel like being really 'girly'. Mind you, you'll usually see me in jeans and t-shirt with a cardigan or zip-up hoodie (very scrubbyish.. but COMFORTABLE) but whenever I put on a dress or decide to be really girly one day people make a HUGE deal about it. I really hate it. What? You've never seen a girl in a dress before? It's not that I'm a tom-boy that it's rare, so I don't even get it!


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## JAJ_2380 (Jun 19, 2009)

I had a nightmare a couple of years ago where I showed up to a formal party wearing pajamas so ever since then I always say "Its better to be dressed up than dressed down."


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## cno64 (Jun 19, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *eskae* 

 
_ whenever I put on a dress or decide to be really girly one day people make a HUGE deal about it. I really hate it. What? You've never seen a girl in a dress before? It's not that I'm a tom-boy that it's rare, so I don't even get it!_

 
How ridiculous of these people!
I'm not a psychologist  or anything, but I've observed that usually when people behave irrationally, it's because they feel insecure or threatened.
It's easy and comfortable to pigeon-hole someone ("Persephone *never* dresses up!"), so they think they know what to expect.
Then, one day Persephone turns up in a dress and looks pretty darned fantastic.
Not only has Persephone rocked their little worlds by bucking their pre-conceived image of her as She Who Does Not Wear Dresses, she looks so good that she might turn out to be a "threat," after all! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



I may well be over-analyzing the situation, but that's just my take on it.


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## LaGoddess (Jun 22, 2009)

i do. even in jeans and a nice tank. so if i know i'm going to feel uncomfortable around people rolling their eyes at me, i'll just swap heels for a pair of cute black leather flipflops and i feel more dressed down but still look nice lol.


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## CrissyM (Jun 23, 2009)

yes and usually that implies dressing up for other people.  i like to do that for myself and boyfriend.  I'm not great with picking or putting together clothes.. so if it takes me a little extra to do that or my hair/makeup.. then I am "dressing up"  ...usually it's a shirt and jeans.


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## LivestrongH2 (Jun 23, 2009)

Oh yeah, I get that a  lot.  I played college basketball, so for years I never wore makeup because I was constantly sweating or exhausted.....so once the basketball years were over, everyone was shocked if I even made a minimal effort.  People wouldn't recognize me with my hair down and neutral makeup and would make such a big deal about it.  I hate having attention on me...so it made me uncomfortable.  Comments like "do you have a hot date"  or "who are you all dolled up for?".   uggh


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## sunshine16 (Jul 13, 2009)

I find it funny people make a big deal over how "dressed up" dresses are, yet it's much easier to chuck on a dress and not have to think rather then having to pick out a pair of jeans/pants and then find a top to match.. Find the combo you picked doesn't work so you have to ditch it and try again. Wearing a dress eliminates that and thus makes dressing much quicker & easier.

I mainly wear dresses because they make me feel fab' though 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




People have accepted that i'm a girly-girl through and through, and dressed down for me is jeans and a nice top (not a t-shirt, i couldn't tell you the last time i wore a tee for anything other then bed and exercise)
I think it's because I openly admit to being really girly and loving to dress up, so people know that if they said i was dressed up i'd just like "yeah? when aren't i?"

So i guess my attitude is, own your personality and loving for dressing up, and people will start accepting it as who you are and forget about it


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## chilwah (Jul 13, 2009)

I love dressing up, but often find it awkward when I'm all dressed up and my friends are in jeans and simple tops. Which sucks because I like to look pretty and wear pretty clothes and keep on buying them without wearing them out often enough.


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## banana1234 (Sep 30, 2009)

i find my version of dressed up, is not enough
my mates and i go out to a bar or something 'dressed up' and i feel like a slob in comparison, but i think thats an esteem thing, cos no one ever says anything about it


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## Folie (Dec 22, 2009)

I've never had someone right said I was dressing up or ask why I was dressed up, but I've had people ask why do I wear so much make up (However, this is coming from girls who don't wear any. So, lipgloss and mascara would be too much in their opinions). I also get asked a lot, depending on the time, do I have work (later) or did I came in from work? This is mainly from people I go to school with. I'll tell you they put no effort into themselves. The like "uniform" at my university is sweats, dirty hair thrown up into a bun type thing, no make up, and some of the girls don't even wear bras. So, it's not that hard to look dressed up compared to them.


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## k.a.t (Dec 22, 2009)

yeah i get it a lot. especially in college..but i like to look nice you know? it does bother me because a lot of the time people say it in a rude way but i can't help it, i love dressing up so i'm not gonna stop just because other people disagree with it. I don't make comments about people being dressed down :S  it makes me feel good so whatever.


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## joygasm (Dec 22, 2009)

My sister in laws family usually think I get too dressed up. :/
I just like feeling good about myself.

But my family doesn't really say anything. They like when I dress up. especially my dad. But this could be because I was a huge tomboy and they all like the fact that I'm becoming more and more feminine.


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## Meisje (Dec 23, 2009)

Somebody's always going to complain. You dress too casual, you dress too fancy, you dress too "normal" and it's boring. Whatever. When someone starts in on something I'm wearing (or my makeup), I smile sweetly and give them a few mintues to lay off. If they don't, I ask them to let me know when it's my turn. They'll usually say "...what" and then I say "let me know when it's my turn to give a critique of your outfit, makeup and hair... that's what we're doing, right?" 

"I advocate glamour. Every day. Every minute." -Dita von Teese


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## RiCh_N_PrEtTy (Feb 7, 2010)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *cno64* 

 
_Ever since I was a teen, I've fairly often had people say things to me like, "*You're all dressed up!*" even when I was just wearing jeans and a nice top.
And whenever my mother and I would be getting ready to go someplace such as a family gathering, and I'd wonder aloud what to wear, she'd immediately say, "*Don't get all dressed up; just wear something comfortable!"*
And my sister often complained to our mother that she didn't like to go places with me because I was "always dressed up."
As I explained earlier, it wasn't as if I were wearing a cocktail dress and diamonds to a football game; I'd wear jeans or cords, a nice casual top and yeah, coordinating shoes and makeup.
I *was* comfortable, though!
Has anyone else had the same sort of experience?_

 

Been there done that..lol I still hear it and its quite funny now...I even hear "where you going?!" lol


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## redenvelope (Feb 8, 2010)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *toxaemia* 

 
_That's my motto too! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 At least it always makes a positive impression and I always feel good so I can tackle anything that comes my way !_

 
I totally agree!


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## BEA2LS (Feb 8, 2010)

i know i replied in this thread before but it is so true! 
same with make-up.. i wear about the same amount everyday but sometimes i wear lighter or darker colors, etc. when i wear darker shades i always get asked why so much make-up, am i going on a date, etc. but in reality it is the same amount of make-up just darker colors!


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## greengoesmoo (Mar 10, 2010)

I don't get accused of overdressing by anyone except my bf, but I do spend a lot of quality time with my make up.

I find a lot of people make comments about lesbian dressing cliches on what I wear, lots of military style boots and scraped back ponytails. My favourite outfit is a rainbow fitted longsleeve tee with lowslung belted baggy jeans and really beaten up boots. My clothes are mostly low key but my eye make up has been called "brave" ahem...

I have also described as dressing childishly. My ultimate outfit NEED is Uhura's Star Trek uniform.


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## bubbleheart (Apr 9, 2010)

I dont think I've ever been accused of overdressing.  I hate the feeling of being dressed up.  At work I basically do the most boring simple outfits that I can get away with and usually am wearing some hobo-esque tank top underneath so I can change before I leave.  Yuck....I wish our generation would change the workplace attire 'rules' so we can all just be comfortable!  On my off time Im pretty much in sweats/tshirts/tanktops/hoodies.  If I put on jeans - you know Im making an effort lol.


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## cno64 (Apr 9, 2010)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *bubbleheart* 

 
_I wish our generation would change the workplace attire 'rules' so we can all just be comfortable!_

 
At 45, I'm probably one of the older Specktra members, and I can see a lot of change in what is deemed "acceptable to wear to work" now, compared to what was being worn when I was young.
I hated pantyhose as much as the next woman, but it's still possible to be put-together _*and*_  be comfortable, at the same time.
In certain types of work, you almost have to wear tees, tanks, etc., but if you work in an office setting, I think it's important to present a good image to the public. I suspect that's the rationale behind the workplace dress rules.
Back to topic: Since becoming disabled, I still  occasionally hear remarks about being "all dressed up," but they're more likely to be positive, along the lines of, "You always look so pretty!" or "I wish I could put on makeup as well as you do!" Maybe my disability makes me seem less threatening. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



It makes me feel good to "doll up," so I continue to do it, though it is harder than it used to be.


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## bubbleheart (Apr 9, 2010)

Yeah - Im just in a very rebellious frame of mind when it comes to the 'rules' of the workplace....everyone I've ever talked to about this has pretty much said the same thing about presenting a positive appearance for the workplace - I just know that even wearing a blouse and dress pants and heels makes me tug at my clothes all day and cant wait to get them off....I understand being clean and presentable but I'd love to be able to wear yoga clothes (which I feel are actually quite sleek looking) to work or say flip flops - and not have this be so wildly inappropriate so long as I act professional and look clean and done up (not wearing stained or holey clothes - just less 'formal'.)


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## cno64 (Apr 9, 2010)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *bubbleheart* 

 
_ I just know that even wearing a blouse and dress pants and heels makes me tug at my clothes all day and cant wait to get them off...._

 
I completely "get" that!
I was a teacher, and as soon as I'd walk through the door when I got home every day, I'd kick off the dress shoes, strip off the pantyhose, and pad straight into my closet to pull on a tee shirt (or sweatshirt, depending on the weather) and shorts/sweats/jeans.
That said, some of my clothes were uncomfortable because I didn't pay as much attention to fit as I should have.
Make sure your clothes fit you well, so you can maximize comfort and present yourself as a competent person who considers her job important. You can  even make changes that will make you feel more comfortable, but not compromise your professional appearance.
For example, there are lots of blouses/tops that are intended to be worn untucked; these still look polished and professional, but aren't as constraining.
As for shoes, there are tons of dressy flats out there.


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## downloadstone (Apr 11, 2010)

I get told I dress up a lot too, which used to make me feel pretty insecure until I realized hey, it doesn't actually matter what they think because _I _feel nice wearing those sorts of clothes and that's really all that matters. It's definitely nice just being able to hang around in sweatpants at home, but when I'm out, even if it's just for classes or something, I like to try and make myself look as nice as possible.


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## BEA2LS (Apr 12, 2010)

i work in a pretty casual office but always wear a dress/skirt or nice pants, cute boots or flats, nice shirts, etc.
today i wore a hoodie and a pony tail and no make-up because i overslept. and an old friend came into my office. i felt like such a bum lol


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## xliliumx (Jun 19, 2010)

HAHA yeah that would be me. Even to school. IDK I just don't flock to casual clothes. It's just not me. *shrugs*


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## Barbie-gone-bad (Jun 19, 2010)

I get it all the time, I don't feel comfortable in sweats and tees. I don't understand it, I think what I wear isn't "dressed up" just fashionable <3


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## kimmietrinh (Jun 19, 2010)

All the time...I don't see the point of wasting the same amount of money when I can get something way cuter. That being said, most of my clothes are overly dressy, so then it becomes a disaster finding something casual to dress down. I feel comfortable in dresses, skirts, and heels. I feel comfortable in sweats and tees too.


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## cno64 (Jun 20, 2010)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *kimmietrinh* 

 
_All the time...I don't see the point of wasting the same amount of money when I can get something way cuter._

 
I agree.
If you're going to spend your money, I think it makes sense to spend it on something that's going to make you look and feel great when you wear it.


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## Junkie (Jun 21, 2010)

I get this alllllllllllllllllllllll the time.

I work nights, but its summer right now and super hot. I dress for the weather as well as for myself. I took Fashion Marketing in college and always loved the trendy new stuff that came out every season, but didn't have the budget for it while in school. Now that I have a job and my personal style has changed (I used to be super gothic) I have fun shopping to evolve myself. 

Its a bit more of a challenge because I'm plus-sized (an 18) but that doesn't stop me from digging and spending an entire day finding something that works. Just because my co-workers and friends make a big deal out of it, doesn't mean I won't wear it again - especially since I went to ALL THAT TROUBLE in the first place! Haha.

I walk into work all the time and people will say things to me. This one girl is always like, "Why do you come to work for nightshifts all dressed up when you only need to change again into your uniform?". Its because I don't like doing the walk of shame home in the morning in my pajamas! People always passed me on their way work in the morning and I looked like a slob. That was embarassing to me. I'd rather be stared at for being "over-dressed" than people judging me on how unkempt I look.

At one point I didn't make an effort, I didn't do my hair, I didn't put as much make-up on and didn't care at all. Now that I do, everyone is always commenting. Its annoying, but kinda nice at the same time.

This one guy that I work with (He's Thai) came up to me one day and was like, "Tiffany! You come to work so pretty. Before? No. No hair, no make-up, no care. Now you do...you look beautiful"! I had to laugh at that


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## Cleopatruh (Jun 28, 2010)

UGH I can totally relate. People used to always ask me why I was "so dressed up" in jeans and a nice top, or a casual dress and sandals. I think it's because a lot of people are even more casual. But I never let it get to me because I just looked at it like Okay, I am into fashion and that is just not this person's thing.


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## na294 (Jul 6, 2010)

I get this all the time.  I can have a bummy outfit but just because I wear heels with hit people are like oh wow where are you going special?


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## naturallyfab (Jul 13, 2010)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *iadoremac* 

 
_I get accused all the time but i really dont care. I think if i am to go shopping for clothes why not buy the best of what the store has to offer hence i do not own anything simple or comfortable and i like it that way._

 
I totally agree.  I get this a lot at class, where most girls (NOT ALL, but a lot where I'm from) wear sweats and cartoon pajama pants in front of their teachers and professors.  I don't buy very trendy clothes, rather than clothes that look good on my body, and are timeless.  Sweat pants are for the gym and sleeping!


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## NotteRequiem (Jul 13, 2010)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *naturallyfab* 

 
_I totally agree. I get this a lot at class, where most girls (NOT ALL, but a lot where I'm from) wear sweats and cartoon pajama pants in front of their teachers and professors. I don't buy very trendy clothes, rather than clothes that look good on my body, and are timeless. *Sweat pants are for the gym and sleeping*! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
Yes!! Completely agree! It was that way when I was in college and I just hated how people would roll out of bed and into class [and not shower first... eww]. 

I get the "dressed up" comment all the time, but I take it as a compliment. It means I put more effort into myself than the person who mentioned it. If they meant it negatively, then the joke's on them. I actually feel great about myself.


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## beautytraveler (Jul 15, 2010)

only when i dress up for the weekends. but i really dont care what they say


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## vividtouch (Jul 24, 2010)

hello cno,

well i think its a good thing? because it only means that you have been noticeable and known for being dressed up and to think that you are just wearing a simple clothes...means you really have what it takes. you're such a good dresser i guess.
as for myself, well sometimes yes, actually sometimes even when i am just at home my mom will ask me if where i am going, and when i say why, she will reply that because i am dressed up? whaaat?! haha
maybe because i just want to look good even just at home and so i put some powder and some gloss...and that what makes them think that im dressed up even im just wearing a simple home clothing... hehe

just don't mind what other people are saying, what matters most is that you are comfortable with what you wear and you feel good about it. thats you and nothing they can do about it. its better to look beautiful and dressed up always than to look ugly crap! lol!


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## jazmatazz (Jul 25, 2010)

I get this sometimes, and it took my a long time to realize (IMHO), that people make that comment because it makes them feel uncomfortable about themselves in some way. Well, I'm not interested in anyone projecting their feelings onto me so I just ignore it as well.

A lot of times I think this happens for me because I like to err on the side of caution and be overdressed rather than underdressed. Sometimes this means being slightly overdressed but it really doesn't matter to me. I think people should just wear what they want, feel good in and reflects their personal style.

It makes me feel extra good about myself to spend time picking out an outfit that works for me and then have fun wearing it! 

I also wear a full face of makeup when I'm in the mood (pretty much every day haha) and this gets similar comments too. Not sure why other people care when it's my face.


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## ~Crystal~ (Jul 25, 2010)

It ALWAYYSS happens to me on campus... yes I'm a full time student and NO i'm not in the arts faculty... but honestly!! I'm way more comfortable in a dress (they're stretchy and not so restricting!) than jeans so i don't get it!! My dresses are all absolutely PLAIN too... one colour, no embellishments etc. or anything... even my jewellery is simple! T&co mini heart key in silver and a pair of small pearl studs!!

I wear them coz they were made to fit me properly and keep me comfy... (being a size 6 with E cup boobs doesn't make shopping easy!) 

Just because I'll wear a pair of patterned stockings with them if it's winter and carry something that isn't a backpack doesn't mean I'm dressed up... and yes I do a full face of make up (no eyeshadow though) every day but most people can't even tell!!


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## cno64 (Jul 25, 2010)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *jazmatazz* 

 
_
It makes me feel extra good about myself to spend time picking out an outfit that works for me and then have fun wearing it! 

I also wear a full face of makeup when I'm in the mood (pretty much every day haha) and this gets similar comments too. Not sure why other people care when it's my face._

 
I feel the same way.
I think your comment about people making these kinds of remarks out of personal insecurity is right on target.
Close on the heels of, "You're all dressed up!" often comes a petulant "_You make me feeel bad/like a slob ..."_
The implication seemed to be that I was being unkind in some way, by making a bit of effort with my appearance.
If I'd _ purposely _ set out to embarrass someone by "showing her up," that wouldn't be very nice, or very adult, but I have *never* done that, so I don't feel guilty in the slightest.


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## na294 (Jul 26, 2010)

My mom always told me that you should always dress nice because you never know who you are going to run into that you'd like to make a nice impression on.  This doesn't even have to be for a cute guy but even for a boss or someone important!


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## cno64 (Jul 26, 2010)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *na294* 

 
_  This doesn't even have to be for a cute guy but even for a boss or someone important!_

 
I think your mother was right.
Your appearance tells others a lot about you, without you even speaking to them.
That said, I've always dressed/put myself together the way I do for _ me,_ because it makes me feel good.
Friends and, especially, family used to bellow at me, "WHY YOU ALL DRESSED UP? YOU TRYIN' TO GIT YOU A BAWFRIEND?"
They seemed to be unable to grasp the concept that I put myself together out of self-respect, not a desire to attract men.
I looked the same way even if I were going to be in a group that included women only.


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## martiangurll (Jul 26, 2010)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *na294* 

 
_My mom always told me that you should always dress nice because you never know who you are going to run into that you'd like to make a nice impression on.  This doesn't even have to be for a cute guy but even for a boss or someone important!_

 
I agree.

Now what people really mean by the comment of you being "dressed up" is that they are insecure because they think you put more effort into your appearance than they did.  Forget em!  (Or just take it as a compliment and say, Thank you)


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## cno64 (Jul 27, 2010)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *martiangurll* 

 
_
Now what people really mean by the comment of you being "dressed up" is that they are insecure because they think you put more effort into your appearance than they did.  Forget em!  (Or just take it as a compliment and say, Thank you)_

 
I think this is right!
I have gradually come to the conclusion that when people make snarky comments to you about being "all dressed up," what they are feeling is, "I fear that you look better than I do; I feel threatened and inadequate."
Something else I have learned is that _I _ am under no obligation to "dress down" to accommodate someone else's insecurity.
I don't want to let other people have that much control over my life.


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## Flaminbird (Sep 4, 2010)

I used to hear that most of my life till I worked (as you know Carla)at this horrible job for 3 yrs.. 2006-2009 then I got laid off. In that place one lady had a different outfit almost every day for 3 yrs...EVERY SINGLE DAY! I think in all that time I saw her wear something twice 3 times....that's it!. Anyway she was always dressed to the nines....ie in always expensive clothes but always tiny earrings....again expensive ones and Channel barettes/hair clips! She had Louis Vitton purses, Coach Shoes, Coach purses etc. We didn't even work for a big company....jsut 25 people and we RARELY got any visitors! I couldnt compete with her because I didnt have the money that she had so I felt underdressed. I did see her closet once and it was an actual room! She had racks and racks of clothes still with tags! She'd go shopping every single weekend! 

Now I work for FedEx so dressing up isnt an option but I've been told that I wear my makeup nicely which I do differently every day 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




. I do bold colors as well as neutrals ....just like I do all the time 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




. I will say I dont like wearing the uniform though and I think people might make fun of me in it 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




. I have to wear ugly black "work shoes" and low socks.....blah. I feel so dumpy in it ....so far from what I'd like to wear. 

Like others have said....its' not "dressed up" but more "put together


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## liibyz (Sep 5, 2010)

Oh my, I hear this a lot. I heard it the most 2 years ago(when I was sixteen) & working for a breast cancer awareness place. Mind you, that there were no visitors expect the Boss' sister & the fedex lady. There were myself & 5 other ladies including the boss. The boss always looked great but, she was always in and out. The ladies & myself sat a computers all day & worked from desks. Always in the office. lol. The other ladies wore jammies & gym gear, no makeup, & hair in a ponytail. I just don't feel right if I don't get up and get dressed & put makeup on & what not. I didn't dress way fancy. Just jeans & a nice shirt or maybe a casual dress. When they would say something about the way I looked or something, it would just rub me the wrong way. Let's just say, I only worked there for about a year. lol. Guess I just didn't fit in. Oh well.


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## kaliraksha (Sep 5, 2010)

As I've stopped caring about what others think of me as much... maybe something that comes with age or just maturity? I have started to not hold back... and I have a lot of fun with it. I totally feel like I dress for me... there is subtly in presentation and as long as it's authentic then I never feel bad for dressing however I interpreted the situation. I know a lot of people say that "we" dress for others... but with some of the kind of passive aggressive negative comments that I get... I kinda wish they'd say nothing at all most times.


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## cno64 (Sep 6, 2010)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Flaminbird* 

 
_Like others have said....its' not "dressed up" but more "put together 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
I think so, too.
I guess it's just an element of my personality, but, even when I'm dressed casually, I always like to add a little "something special" to my ensemble.
The "something special" might be cool earrings, a lacy cami, even a shimmery lip gloss.
To some people that's "dressing up," or even "showing off."


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## lightgreen22 (Nov 3, 2010)

I'm in high school, everyone wears basketball shorts and tees
  	I wear sundresses and ballet flats
  	my outfits are super casual
  	but everyone says I dress up
  	I really don't dress up


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## Adnegveill35 (Nov 4, 2010)

It depends on the situation. At school, it's hoodies and jeans (I'm a college student) But at night I usually go all out with hair, makeup, shoes, jewelry etc. That's the only time when I'm accused of 'overdoing it'. Sometimes I wish I could be like that all the time, but I just don't think it's in me lol


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## Meisje (Nov 5, 2010)

kaliraksha said:


> I sure do. I don't really mind... I realize it probably makes some feel uncomfortable, but I see that as their issue.



 	Me, too. Anyone who negatively fusses about how nice you look is having an insecurity moment. Just recently, I had someone get really bent out of shape that I was going to an event where I was interacting with the public in a business nature and that I was nicely groomed and well dressed. They chose to wear sweats. Just before leaving, they started making snide comments to the other participants that at least THEY weren't worried about impressing people. Well, YEAH I was worried about impressing people --- I was there in a professional capacity.

  	That person is horribly insecure anyway. It was a bit of a chore constantly having them project their own negative feelings on me, so now I don't see them.


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## cetati (Nov 6, 2010)

I wore this to the mall yesterday to shoot photos for my Lookbook with my brother and totally got weird/hateful looks from a lot of women. Sigh.


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## Meisje (Nov 6, 2010)

I love that outfit, by the way.


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## missah (Jun 18, 2011)

When I go out, I don't feel comfortable in anything that doesn't make me look presentable. Sometimes I'll go for a kinda rocker look but even then, itll look together and presentable. I get told of by my friends all the time, they say stuff like "Anna why are you dressed like that? You stand out so much! Why can't you just dress normally like everyone else?" But thats my style. I dress in skirts and dresses and half the time, my style can be classified as "sexed up office girl" I suppose. But the thing is, I always get compliments and looks from guys when I go out and my friend always get pissed off because of that. And when we go shopping, she tends to just copy the clothing I'd wear or have tried on! I hate how she's such a hyprocrite. It suits my body shape to wear high waisted skirts and nice floral tops or anything that isn't v neck. It suits my figure so I dont get why my friends get pissy that I know how to dress up and buy clothing that suits me. I suppose when someone is telling you that you're too dressed up, they're just jealous that you look better than them. Or that everyone is looking at you because you stand out. I personally like that I try to look my best when I go out, because at home i'm a slob. I love dressing up and I wont change for anybody, because it suits my body, is my style and makes me look and feel great.


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## ssaemblog (Jun 18, 2011)

Sometimes, but not often.

  	I don't go out unless I have a ride and when I go out, it's usually just to Barnes and Noble, hah. And even though all I do is sit at the cafe, drink coffee, and study Chinese, sometimes I really just want to dress up. I'm finally getting out of the house. May as well look spiffy while doing it.


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## ladydeex3 (Aug 2, 2011)

- Removed -


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## missah (Aug 2, 2011)

ladydeex3 said:


> That happens to me all the time, and I'm a teenager. I'm the type of girl who will not leave the house unless I am dressed nicely, not because I'm trying to look older, but because I always like to look presentable. I used to be constantly stared at when I was at the mall wearing something as simple as a ruffle top with a high waisted skirt and black tights.. Just because I like to look nice and wear dresses and skirts instead of tshirts and jeans doesn't mean I'm dressed up. D:
> 
> I've learnt to ignore the looks and remarks. At least I don't look like a slob like others, lol.


	I'm exactly the same. I have to feel that I look presentable before going out! Sounds like an outfit I've already worn too *hi-5*
  	Kudos on not looking like a slob=D


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## princess sarah (Aug 3, 2011)

I have a very relaxed outlook on clothes but not makeup and hair. Im always seen running around in black jeans, chucks and random 'famous stars and straps' shirts or band shirts. im look at as one of the boys but everyone always comments on how bright or pretty my makeup is and how much it makes me stand out.

  	I have 14 piercings all up and i listen to heavy metal and my wardrobe is black but i love fluro eye shadows and bright colours that stand out in the black.

  	On the rare occasion i really dress up and wear heels, people do look at me differently and think i am overly dressed up only because of how they are used to seeing me. I love feeling girly and dolled up and looking pretty and people noticing when i make an effort. But as you can tell... i definately dont get alot of comments that i over dress.... just that i know makeup well and that is my pretty thing


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## manderz86 (Aug 3, 2011)

I've almost always got makeup on & I love to accessorize, more so now that I've had my hair cut short - I like to dress it up a little with bows or flowers (I live with 4 males so I need the girly touch or we'd all look like we had matching family haircuts lol).

  	I find the comments come from the same people, always the ones who don't make much of an effort themselves, which is fine, if that's your thing, just don't pick on me for dressing the way I like! My sister in law in particular picks apart* everyone's* outfits & when she gets to me she says things like, "I wish I had time to do my nails, but I have 3 kids to look after"
  	The thing is, I have 3 kids as well, so she's clearly being snarky about me being "selfish" spending so much time on myself. When we were newly married & I was too young to know better I used to make a point to "dress down" whenever we were visiting because of the fuss over how over dressed I was but I've since realised that I shouldn't have to conform to anybody's ideals & that she most likely IS projecting her insecurities onto everyone else.

  	I really don't care what people think, I'll wear what I think looks good & makes me happy.


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## aroseisarose (Aug 4, 2011)

I get that all the time, people asking "where are you going all dressed up?" and questions similar to that. I just believe in making an effort. I mean it's not like i walk out of the house covered in sequins lol but it's just that i try hard to wear and style something that truly flatters me. I like wearing nice casual dresses and making an effort with my hair and makeup and I honestly couldn't walk out of the house without having washed and styled my hair and put on something decent. I see people all the time wearing those god forsaken juicy couture tracksuits, one girl I saw was all in blue - she looked like a smurf. And you know fair enough if she wants to dress like that, with SEXY written across the ass but that's not me.


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## Candlecove (Sep 8, 2011)

There are days when I wake up in the morning and feel like I'm ready to conquer the world. Those days I do dress up ... high heels, carefully applied makeup, my hair gets styled, I put on my corset and my stockings, put on jewellery and a nice dress. And there are people who wonder why I look like that when all I'm doing is buying groceries or going for a walk. But it makes up for all the stupid comments when a little girl ask her mom is she can look like that one day, or when an old lady stops me to say that she remembers the times in her youth when it was considered normal.

  	In my mind its's not me who's overdressed, it's other people that are way underdressed.


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## missah (Sep 8, 2011)

Candlecove said:


> There are days when I wake up in the morning and feel like I'm ready to conquer the world. Those days I do dress up ... high heels, carefully applied makeup, my hair gets styled, I put on my corset and my stockings, put on jewellery and a nice dress. And there are people who wonder why I look like that when all I'm doing is buying groceries or going for a walk. But it makes up for all the stupid comments when a little girl ask her mom is she can look like that one day, or when an old lady stops me to say that she remembers the times in her youth when it was considered normal.
> 
> *In my mind its's not me who's overdressed, it's other people that are way underdressed.*


  	I agree. I live in a suburb where everyone either dresses too young [skinny jeans, chest bearing tops when they are like 40+] or ridiciulousy sloppy. I like wearing heels and dressing to the nines and I feel like a sore thumb when everybody stares at me.


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