# There is a strange animal under my bed....



## rbella (Aug 5, 2008)

Seriously,
I was walking into my bedroom during the commercial break for CSI, Miami.  I was trying to go to my closet to get the shoes I bought today so I could show Mr. Rbella.  On the way to my closet a freakishly ugly, wormlike, pinkish in color, beady eyed thing wiggled past my bare f*cking foot and underneath my bed.  It was at least an inch and half long with a f*cking tail.

I screamed bloody murder.  I said "Oh my God!! OH MY GOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD!!!!  Come get it!! Come get it!!"  Unfortunately for me, my husband couldn't be bothered because get this, CSI had come back on.  Are you friggin' kidding me?  I came in and yelled at him that there is a scorpion, snakelike creature underneath the bed and he damn sure better get it before I have a heart attack.  His response was "I can't see underneath the bed, what do you want me to do about it?"  I said "What the hell do you think I married you for?"   He doesn't even care that this God-awful creature is going to try and kill us tonight or at the very least eat our toes.  I'm so pissed at him I can't see straight (not really, I still love the fool).  

I am seriously thinking about sleeping at a hotel but I'm afraid of bedbugs and a hurricane is coming around the time I'd have to check out.  I'm really freaking out.  

Mr. Rbella just said that he'll "look into it" before we go to bed.  I'm so lucky.  My hero.


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## choozen1ne (Aug 5, 2008)

You poor thing - I would go sleep some where else and find somethng hard to throw at your husbands head - you are getting attacked by some freaky animal and he  didn't come to your rescue 
 I know from personal experience sleeping in a room where some killer animal is lurking is no fun -Good Luck


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## cre8_yourself (Aug 5, 2008)

that is tooooo damn funny lmao... I actually get hives when I see creepy crawlers.. wonder what would have happened if I saw it hahah.. ur husband needs to man up (no offense)... how about you have an adventure with him and try to figure out what it is..either that or  stay in a telly and call the terminator....  but ewwww it had a tailll!! grosssssssssssss


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## MACLovin (Aug 5, 2008)

AAH!! That's creepy! Theres no way in hell I'd be sleeping in my bed until that creature was out of there.. lol

Maybe it was just a little gecko/lizard? I live in south FL and we get those  in the house sometimes.. The ones that hang around by the door at night are sort of pinkish/flesh colored and they have beady black eyes, so it sounds like thats possibly what it could have been. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





Hope the hubby is able to get the lil bugger out from under the bed so you don't have to sleep on the couch, LOL.. 

Stay safe during that storm!


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## SkylarV217 (Aug 5, 2008)

HUM .... maybe it was the thing that you believed had died in your tummy, ... That sounds really weird and I would  freak too... If your hubby gets it please post a pic lol ..... You better sit him down * After CSI* .... and Camly explain to him that you ONLY married him so that he could keep the creepy Crawlies out... and if he can't do that anymore your simply gonna have to call a lawyer b/c he is not fulfilling his marital duties......
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	





PS - With storms coming all sorts of little animals look for shelter.... they have the instincts and all I hope you are able to stay safe and wait it out...


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## Divinity (Aug 5, 2008)

NO FRIGGIN' WAY!!  Something that size gets loose in a room and the thing can HAVE it.  My hubby knows if he doesn't take care of any "visitors", he's out a bed buddy.


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## coachkitten (Aug 5, 2008)

Rbella your posts are so funny!  On a serious note Mr Rbella needs to press pause on the DVR and get up and take care of the big scary bug!  I would be freaking out as well.  

BTW Skylar I love your avatar!


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## SkylarV217 (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *coachkitten* 

 
_BTW Skylar I love your avatar! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
Thanks =) I try to convince myself of it daily as I look at all the tan girls in the summer time ;-)


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## blueagave (Aug 5, 2008)

Since reading your story, I have been seriously itching all over! Black eyes, pink wormlike creature... that makes for some serious nightmares... Yikes!


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## GreekChick (Aug 5, 2008)

^^I totally agree. I pictured it crawling in my room.


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## misz_addy (Aug 5, 2008)

lmfao..thats so funny!just imagine if by today u still havent check it out, it creeps underneath ur bedsheet or wherever u might be lying down n later into ur clothes..yikesss!!


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## MACATTAK (Aug 5, 2008)

No way would I be able to sleep.  HELLO...what if it crawls away & he can't find it??????  I'd be sleeping in another room with a towel or something under the door to ensure nothing could get in.  Please keep us updated on this horrific situation!  I would seriously die!!!!


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## snowflakelashes (Aug 5, 2008)

this is why i'm so glad to live in the arctic... just saying... when I did live in southern climates and I ended up having something I saw scurry across my bedroom floor, my reaction, I shut the door, stuff towels along the cracks and slept in the chair in what served as my meager living room because I was scared to go in there :-|  yikes, i would have freaked out more than you i think... I'm a fraidy crat when it comes to creepy crawlies... :-|


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## talste (Aug 5, 2008)

lmao, I love your posts rbella, They're always entertaining.
Please keep us updated on Mr rbella & the creepy crawly misadventure


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## rbella (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *cre8_yourself* 

 
_ur husband needs to man up (no offense)..._

 
I totally see why you would think this, but it is more of an issue of him thinking I need to "man up".  How sad is that?  He doesn't understand my insane fear of insects, creepy crawlers, flies, bees, etc.  He thinks I'm over dramatic.  I swear a roach could crawl on his lap and he would pet the damn thing.  Just kidding, in that case he _might_ stop watching his show to kill it.

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Divinity* 

 
_NO FRIGGIN' WAY!! Something that size gets loose in a room and the thing can HAVE it. My hubby knows if he doesn't take care of any "visitors", he's out a bed buddy._

 
Sing is sista!  Unfortunately, I steal the covers, snore, kick him during my sleep and talk in my sleep, so he is probably psyched to have the bed for the night.  I've figured out that it is all a masterminded plan of his to get a good nights' sleep.

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *MACLovin* 

 
_Maybe it was just a little gecko/lizard? I live in south FL and we get those  in the house sometimes.. The ones that hang around by the door at night are sort of pinkish/flesh colored and they have beady black eyes, so it sounds like thats possibly what it could have been. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Stay safe during that storm!_

 
OH MY GOD THAT IS SO GROSS I CAN'T STAND IT.  If that is what it is, I'll die.  My husband said it was probably the same thing and that if it does get in the bed "you'll be fine, the worst that will happen is it will lick your eye like the gecko in the Geico commercials." 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Thanks for the good thoughts about the storm.  I grew up with these and this one is so small it's really not a big deal.  Just excited to sleep in (on what and where I have no idea) during the rain.

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *SkylarV217* 

 
_HUM .... maybe it was the thing that you believed had died in your tummy, ... That sounds really weird and I would  freak too... If your hubby gets it please post a pic lol ..... You better sit him down * After CSI* .... and Camly explain to him that you ONLY married him so that he could keep the creepy Crawlies out... and if he can't do that anymore your simply gonna have to call a lawyer b/c he is not fulfilling his marital duties......
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	





PS - With storms coming all sorts of little animals look for shelter.... they have the instincts and all I hope you are able to stay safe and wait it out..._

 
Yea, we discussed this and he said "ok, well lets talk about some of the duties I'd like you to fulfill more often."  I decided to let it go.  God only knows what he would come up with, you know?  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I do believe that it crawled out from my ass and is under the bed because my stomach feels better.  What if it is a tapeworm.  I'll die.

Skylar, if anymore bugs dare come into this house I will no longer be posting on here because I will be in a mental institution for sure.

BTW, shouldn't my damned cat have gotten this?  Useless.


 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *coachkitten* 

 
_Rbella your posts are so funny!  On a serious note *Mr Rbella needs to press pause on the DVR *and get up and take care of the big scary bug!  I would be freaking out as well.  _

 
This statement leads me to believe that you are unversed in the severity of my husband's cheapness.  You must be under the impression that he would actually shell out the $150 for a DVR.  This is the same man who is so excited that we can buy a converter for our old analog television so that we don't have to buy a new HDTV when the conversion happens.  It will only cost $40, Yippee!!!!

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *misz_addy* 

 
_lmfao..thats so funny!just imagine if by today u still havent check it out, it creeps underneath ur bedsheet or wherever u might be lying down n later into ur clothes..yikesss!!_

 
Do you hate me?

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *MACATTAK* 

 
_





  No way would I be able to sleep.  HELLO...what if it crawls away & he can't find it??????  I'd be sleeping in another room with a towel or something under the door to ensure nothing could get in.  Please keep us updated on this horrific situation!  I would seriously die!!!!_

 
I have to give Mr. Rbella some props.  He did tear apart the bed a little while ago to try and find it.  I mean he took the big ass king size mattress off, box springs, everything.   However, because CSI was so damned important, it was too late and the creature is gone.  Probably lodged in my pillowcase waiting to eat my eyeballs.  

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *snowflakelashes* 

 
_this is why i'm so glad to live in the arctic... just saying... when I did live in southern climates and I ended up having something I saw scurry across my bedroom floor, my reaction, I shut the door, stuff towels along the cracks and slept in the chair in what served as my meager living room because I was scared to go in there :-|  yikes, i would have freaked out more than you i think... I'm a fraidy crat when it comes to creepy crawlies... :-|_

 
I used to live in an apartment with big trees.  These huge flying waterbugs (big roaches) would fly EVERYWHERE at night b/c the lights in the complex would confuse them.  I literally had to run to my front door every single night with my mouth pressed as tightly shut as possible so one wouldn't fly in my mouth.  They would bounce off my head.  It was so nasty.  I taped my door frame shut once b/c they were swarming outside and I was scared to death it would come in through the cracks of my door.  Roaches are pure evil.

Just a clarification, my man is cheap and slow with killing bugs, but he is by far the best man in the whole world.  I still get a love note everyday (I've been with him 10 years) and he's never missed a day.  He is a total sweetie, we just like to rank on each other.

Actually, as soon as I started this thread he said "are you writing about me on Specktra?"  When I told him "yes" he went to tear apart the bed.  Poor baby....


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## SkylarV217 (Aug 5, 2008)

^^^^^ You have me giggling like a deranged school girl


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## rbella (Aug 5, 2008)

You're so cool, Skylar.  I love your avatar, too.  You _know_ my pale ass does!!


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## SkylarV217 (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_
Actually, as soon as I started this thread he said "are you writing about me on Specktra?"  When I told him "yes" he went to tear apart the bed.  Poor baby...._

 
It's sad when they come to expect it lol .... and then they know they are about to get "torn in to" by a ton of Specktrites ..... Now you know you can just get your computer out when you want to light a fire under him ...


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## rbella (Aug 5, 2008)

I know!!  He just informed me that this whole thread was "piss poor" in his opinion!  Hahahahahah!!  I couldn't stop laughing.


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## rbella (Aug 5, 2008)

Dear Lord,
I'm going to bed now.  Please let me awaken in the morn with all my limbs and essential equipment intact.  Please keep the evil creature away from me during the night and only allow him to nibble on Mr. Rbella.  If you could do that, I'd really appreciate it.

Thank you,
Rbella


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## chrissyclass (Aug 5, 2008)

Eek! I'll kill it! I've sworn revenge all on all pinkish wormy like creatures!


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## CantAffordMAC (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *SkylarV217* 

 
_*HUM .... maybe it was the thing that you believed had died in your tummy, ... *..._

 
Thats what I was gonna say!!

Rbella SERIOUSLY, u might be the funniest person on specktra, EVER!!! You crack me up! And ur husband does too!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			














The little buggar sounds cute. Keep him, as a pet.


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## PolyphonicLove (Aug 5, 2008)

Your waterbug story = my worst nightmare. I seriously have the biggest fear of them, which stems from when I was younger. Having a bunch of them swarming at my front door would send me into hysterics.


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## lukinamama (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_Dear Lord,
I'm going to bed now. Please let me awaken in the morn with all my limbs and essential equipment intact. Please keep the evil creature away from me during the night and only allow him to nibble on Mr. Rbella. If you could do that, I'd really appreciate it.

Thank you,
Rbella_


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## ratmist (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_I used to live in an apartment with big trees.  These huge flying waterbugs (big roaches) would fly EVERYWHERE at night b/c the lights in the complex would confuse them.  I literally had to run to my front door every single night with my mouth pressed as tightly shut as possible so one wouldn't fly in my mouth.  They would bounce off my head.  It was so nasty.  I taped my door frame shut once b/c they were swarming outside and I was scared to death it would come in through the cracks of my door.  Roaches are pure evil._

 
The only phobia I have is an acute fear of cockroaches.  The ones where I grew up could fly short distances.  I once had one fly up and get caught in my hair, right next to my right ear.  I screamed and screamed while the thing fluttered about my face, trying to get free.  It was terrifying.  

I'm pretty fearless about creatures, but I go completely weak at the sight of a roach.  I remember it fluttering around my face and I freeze with fear.  I can't even squish them, I'm so scared of them.

I was *this* close to walking out of WALL-E as a result of his little cockroach friend.


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## k.a.t (Aug 5, 2008)

^^ haha that wall-e comment made me laugh, though i think he's actually cute. 

rbella, you are so brave, if this happened to me i probably would've passed out and there's no way in HELL i'd even be sleeping in my own house until that thing was sorted out, even then i'd be picturing it crawling around, ugh. It really does sound like a nightmare, i would'nt be able to sleep for a good 2 weeks after that =\


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## User93 (Aug 5, 2008)

OMG i would have a heart attack if i saw it, i would be all the way running around the house waving hands with my eyes popping out screaming for help. Im sooo afraid if this craetures. Damn Rbella, stay strong, lol! No, seriously! And tell Mr Rbella to get out of the couch and save the world finally! OMG keep us updated what was it. aaaaaaa


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## rbella (Aug 5, 2008)

Thanks for all the kind words ladies.

Last night was rough, to say the least.  We went to bed and typically I can't stand trying to go to sleep if Mr. Rbella is "holding me".  It's too damn hot and I can't move.  But, last night, I demanded that he enclose my entire body with his on the off chance something odd came lurking about in the sheets. 

Unfortunately for me, Mr. Rbella fell asleep in about 1.5 seconds and became nothing more than a hot, sweaty, 200 lb dead weight.  I thought "what the hell do I do now?"  If I make him move, I'm all alone on my side of the bed with something that could possibly touch me and be slimy and disgusting.  Or, I can leave this lump of uselessness on top of me and suffocate.  

I decided to move him and spent the entire night freaking out.  I got up at around 5am and moved to the living room couch to see the updates on the "hurricane" (that is not really a hurricane) and I tried to sleep on the couch.

As I finally drift off into my slumber, my friggin' cat, FiFi, jumps up on to my stomach and runs across my body and off the couch.  What the hell was she trying to do?  Sometimes she just decides to wig out.  Needless to say that sent me into a frenzy of freakouts.  Was she chasing the monster?  Oh My God?  Had it JUST BEEN ON TOP OF ME?  I couldn't stand it.

I tried to sleep in our guest bedroom and finally drifted off after shutting all the doors to the room, dressing myself from head to toe in a long sleeved shirt, sweat pants, tube socks and about 20 layers of bedding.  I got a total of 3 hours of sleep.

Oh, and I think it crawled back inside my stomach.


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## k.a.t (Aug 5, 2008)

Aww poor you, i really hope you get rid of this 'thing' whatever it is, if it's still there, everytime i think about it my skin gets itchy :S


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## panther27 (Aug 5, 2008)

Oh my God......I would seriously just die if I had to lived around those flying roaches that you mentioned.I am scared to death of roaches...wow you are very brave for even being anywhere near those things,I would be screamin my head off!


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## rbella (Aug 5, 2008)

^^^ I can't scream b/c they'll fly into my mouth!!!  They are so gross they freak me out!!!!!!!!!!


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## elegant-one (Aug 5, 2008)

Oh my golly, I don't even know what to say....I'm laughing so hard that you should be able to hear me!

I just want to have a drink with you 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 you are so crazy hilarious


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## rbella (Aug 5, 2008)

Woo Hoo!! That would be awesome.  We would have the best time!!!  We could share stories about men, makeup and lattes!!!!

I'd have drinks with you anytime, anywhere!  You're the best!!!!!!!!!!


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## BeautyPsycho (Aug 5, 2008)

Sooooooooo... what is this thing?


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## elegant-one (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_





Woo Hoo!! That would be awesome.  We would have the best time!!!  We could share stories about men, makeup and lattes!!!!

I'd have drinks with you anytime, anywhere!  You're the best!!!!!!!!!!_

 
Aw....the thing is....you make me laugh so much - my drink would prolly come out my nose


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## MiCHiE (Aug 5, 2008)

rbella, you are not alone. As a matter of fact, this whole thread is creeping me the hell out, LOL. I am _terrified_ of roaches. I just moved into my house in June and I was slowing doing it because I was waiting on Brinks, cable, internet and appliances....So, everyday I would bring what I could and set up...Well, there was one damn roach that was in the kitchen cabinet every day. And it had the nerve to slowly crawl away like, _"This bitch needs to stop opening and closing my damn door!"_
I had gone to Lowe's and gotten the Orthro bug spray that my inspector advised and began to spray. Well, 2 roaches crawled out....one from I don't know where and another from behind the stove. The (fearful) woman in me asked, "What have I gotten myself into, buying this house? I can't live here with these roaches!" while the homeowner part of me was saying, "You better man your ass up and let them know whose house this is!".
In the end, I'm still scared of those bastards. On top of that, when I first saw this thread, I was trying to smoke out a spider (a big one, too) with Bengal spray.


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## Sanayhs (Aug 5, 2008)

In my place of residence, _I _have to be the manly one. My boyfriend is absolutely terrified of any sort of insect, and 99% of them I am completely calm with. I don't know how I'd feel about that thing, though. My cat would probably want to play with it and my rabbit would just sit there... And I'd be naming it...


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## rbella (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *♥MiCHiE♥* 

 
_rbella, you are not alone. As a matter of fact, this whole thread is creeping me the hell out, LOL. I am terrified of roaches. I just moved into my house in June and I was slowing doing it because I was waiting on Brinks, cable, internet and appliances....So, everyday I would bring what I could and set up...Well, there was one damn roach that was in the kitchen cabinet every day. And it had the nerve to slowly crawl away like, "This bitch needs to stop opening and closing my damn door!"
I had gone to Lowe's and gotten the Orthro bug spray that my inspector advised and began to spray. Well, 2 roaches crawled out....one from I don't know where and another from behind the stove. The (fearful) woman in me asked, "What have I gotten myself into, buying this house? I can't live here with these roaches!" while the homeowner part of me was saying, "You better man your ass up and let them know whose house this is!".
In the end, I'm still scared of those bastards. On top of that, when I first saw this thread, I was trying to smoke out a spider (a big one, too) with Bengal spray._

 
Oh Sweet Jesus, what a nightmare!!!!!!  My sister just told me a story about a woman who lived in Florida.  She had forgotten to roll up the windows in her car when she was at work.  She got in the car later that night to go pick up a friend and go to dinner.  

Well, she was driving down the street and kept hearing these weird noises but couldn't figure out what it was.  When she picked up her friend, her friend opened the door and the car light came on and her back seat was COVERED in big ass roaches!  I actually dry-heaved last night when my sister told me that story.


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## rbella (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *elegant-one* 

 
_Aw....the thing is....you make me laugh so much - my drink would prolly come out my nose 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	





_

 
Perhaps, but you are the only person I know who would look lovely while spewing pinot noir out your noggin.


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## Divinity (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_
Sing is sista!  Unfortunately, I steal the covers, snore, kick him during my sleep and talk in my sleep, so he is probably psyched to have the bed for the night.  I've figured out that it is all a masterminded plan of his to get a good nights' sleep.
_

 
Hmmm...that's a pretty crappy way to go about it.  Think of what gives him the creeps that doesn't bother you and reverse it.  Hope he's not one of those guys that doesn't have any phobias or you're out of luck.


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## Divinity (Aug 5, 2008)

This makes me think back to my apartment in Sevilla.  All tile floors and I pick the dead of winter to move there.  Well come March, it gets warmer and my family visits and literally the day after they leave it happens.  I'm having breakfast and a roach the size of...hell it's just huge... crawls out from under the bottom cabinets and under the hideaway bed I had been sleeping in NOT 24 HOURS AGO.  Oh God.  I lost my appetite.  Chucked my half eaten bowl of cereal and ran upstairs to fetch my landlord, Fernando.  My spanish is 3rd level high school spanish so gestures help get my point across.  His wife could hardly keep from laughing and Fernando was laughing while going downstairs to the now roach's apartment.  I didn't even go in - I watched from outside.  He lifted the hideaway bed and...no bug.  He looks at me like I'm crazy.  I remind him gesturing wildly that it's a hideaway bed and he proceeds to shake the damn thing until the roach comes flying out hitting the floor and running around.  Fernando asks for paper and I went in for literally .01 seconds to hand him a newspaper and I'm out watching him run around trying to smack the damn thing dead.  He kills it and scoops it up and walks past me....I backed up like 40 feet.  He comes back from chucking the body outside and I thank him profusely while he walks back upstairs...shaking his head and chuckling.  Glad HE found it funny.


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## MACATTAK (Aug 5, 2008)

I'm so glad to hear you have a cat rbella!  Keep that cat in your room at night until the mystery creature is found.


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## purrtykitty (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_BTW, shouldn't my damned cat have gotten this? Useless._

 






  My cats would've *maybe* chased it, then lost interest because...well there's a butt somewhere that needs licking.

You seem to have made it OK through the night, though.  I hope Mr. rbella does a better job checking for creepy crawlies tonight!


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## elegant-one (Aug 5, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_Perhaps, but you are the only person I know who would look lovely while spewing pinot noir out your noggin.  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 











 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *purrtykitty* 

 
_





  My cats would've *maybe* chased it, then lost interest because...well there's a butt somewhere that needs licking._


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## SkylarV217 (Aug 5, 2008)

My creepy Crawly fear is based upon a news report I saw when I was like 5 lol... I am and always have been terrified of snakes... And I always have this irrational fear that there will be one in the toilet .... lol 

We go to national parks and such often so they have those outdoor toilets and I have this mental image of me above a toilet with a snake clamped on to my backside wiggling around ...

Every time i go to use a toilet I check .... especially in the dark ... Bugs and spiders don't get me ... just snakes


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## MiCHiE (Aug 5, 2008)

Skylar, if I had never seen _Creepshow_ as a child, I may have grown to be somewhat "normal" when it came to roaches.


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## urbanlilyfairy (Aug 6, 2008)

omg this thread is hilarious..sorry for your crazy creature but you ahve me loling so hard hehe.


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## florabundance (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_Oh Sweet Jesus, what a nightmare!!!!!!  My sister just told me a story about a woman who lived in Florida.  She had forgotten to roll up the windows in her car when she was at work.  She got in the car later that night to go pick up a friend and go to dinner.  

Well, she was driving down the street and kept hearing these weird noises but couldn't figure out what it was.  When she picked up her friend, her friend opened the door and the car light came on and her back seat was COVERED in big ass roaches!  I actually dry-heaved last night when my sister told me that story._

 
That actually makes me want to cry! 
I hope that little whatever it was is out of your house by now too, but I have to say no bug is worse than a mouse in the house. Our neighbours garden is never cleaned, the lawn never mowed and the house is filthy also (we once - and ONLY once - volunteered to water their plants and stuff while on vacation), and however it happens, every year or so we (and our other neighbours) have a mouse invade our house. They generally come into the kitchen as our kitchen leads to the garden, but EUGH they fucking terrify me and just make me sick and jumpy and thinking that i'm seeing something when i'm probably not.
How do you tell your neighbours to clean their dirty ass house and yard up without being rude. They actually also came round to us and a few others on our street to politely inform us that there may or may not have been a dead RAT in their house.
I mean


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## Susanne (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_I totally see why you would think this, but it is more of an issue of him thinking I need to "man up". How sad is that? *He doesn't understand my insane fear of insects, creepy crawlers, flies, bees, etc.* He thinks I'm over dramatic. I swear a roach could crawl on his lap and he would pet the damn thing. Just kidding, in that case he might stop watching his show to kill it.
_

 
But I do 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Since one year now I am living on my own. If there is a spider in my flat I try to catch it with a glass and a postcard. And it can happen that I throw the spider together with the glass out of the window 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Uups...


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## PolyphonicLove (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *ratmist* 

 
_The only phobia I have is an acute fear of cockroaches.  The ones where I grew up could fly short distances.  I once had one fly up and get caught in my hair, right next to my right ear.  I screamed and screamed while the thing fluttered about my face, trying to get free.  It was terrifying.  

I'm pretty fearless about creatures, but I go completely weak at the sight of a roach.  I remember it fluttering around my face and I freeze with fear.  I can't even squish them, I'm so scared of them.

I was *this* close to walking out of WALL-E as a result of his little cockroach friend._

 

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *♥MiCHiE♥* 

 
_rbella, you are not alone. As a matter of fact, this whole thread is creeping me the hell out, LOL. I am terrified of roaches. I just moved into my house in June and I was slowing doing it because I was waiting on Brinks, cable, internet and appliances....So, everyday I would bring what I could and set up...Well, there was one damn roach that was in the kitchen cabinet every day. And it had the nerve to slowly crawl away like, "This bitch needs to stop opening and closing my damn door!"
I had gone to Lowe's and gotten the Orthro bug spray that my inspector advised and began to spray. Well, 2 roaches crawled out....one from I don't know where and another from behind the stove. The (fearful) woman in me asked, "What have I gotten myself into, buying this house? I can't live here with these roaches!" while the homeowner part of me was saying, "You better man your ass up and let them know whose house this is!".
In the end, I'm still scared of those bastards. On top of that, when I first saw this thread, I was trying to smoke out a spider (a big one, too) with Bengal spray._

 

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Divinity* 

 
_This makes me think back to my apartment in Sevilla. All tile floors and I pick the dead of winter to move there. Well come March, it gets warmer and my family visits and literally the day after they leave it happens. I'm having breakfast and a roach the size of...hell it's just huge... crawls out from under the bottom cabinets and under the hideaway bed I had been sleeping in NOT 24 HOURS AGO. Oh God. I lost my appetite. Chucked my half eaten bowl of cereal and ran upstairs to fetch my landlord, Fernando. My spanish is 3rd level high school spanish so gestures help get my point across. His wife could hardly keep from laughing and Fernando was laughing while going downstairs to the now roach's apartment. I didn't even go in - I watched from outside. He lifted the hideaway bed and...no bug. He looks at me like I'm crazy. I remind him gesturing wildly that it's a hideaway bed and he proceeds to shake the damn thing until the roach comes flying out hitting the floor and running around. Fernando asks for paper and I went in for literally .01 seconds to hand him a newspaper and I'm out watching him run around trying to smack the damn thing dead. He kills it and scoops it up and walks past me....I backed up like 40 feet. He comes back from chucking the body outside and I thank him profusely while he walks back upstairs...shaking his head and chuckling. Glad HE found it funny._

 

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_Oh Sweet Jesus, what a nightmare!!!!!! My sister just told me a story about a woman who lived in Florida. She had forgotten to roll up the windows in her car when she was at work. She got in the car later that night to go pick up a friend and go to dinner. 

Well, she was driving down the street and kept hearing these weird noises but couldn't figure out what it was. When she picked up her friend, her friend opened the door and the car light came on and her back seat was COVERED in big ass roaches! I actually dry-heaved last night when my sister told me that story._

 

*dies*
*dies*
*dies*

*super die*

this shit is horrific. ALL OF IT. I would cry. I'd run behind Jerry and cower in fear. I am SO afraid now. ;-;


----------



## Hilly (Aug 6, 2008)

Yikes! I woulda crapped my pants!


----------



## rbella (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *florabundance* 

 
_That actually makes me want to cry! 
I hope that little whatever it was is out of your house by now too, but I have to say no bug is worse than a mouse in the house. Our neighbours garden is never cleaned, the lawn never mowed and the house is filthy also (we once - and ONLY once - volunteered to water their plants and stuff while on vacation), and however it happens, every year or so we (and our other neighbours) have a mouse invade our house. They generally come into the kitchen as our kitchen leads to the garden, but EUGH they fucking terrify me and just make me sick and jumpy and thinking that i'm seeing something when i'm probably not.
How do you tell your neighbours to clean their dirty ass house and yard up without being rude. They actually also came round to us and a few others on our street to politely inform us that there may or may not have been a dead RAT in their house.
I mean 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	





_

 
Ok, that's just nasty.  I've never encountered a rat before or a mouse.  If I did, I promise it would be the end of me.  

The creature is still here.  I just know it.  I can feel it looking at me, taunting me, waiting to eat me.  I can't sleep.  I'm friggin' miserable.  I am literally scared of my own home.  I'm beginning to get pissed at FiFi.  She just lies around all day in her damned shoe box, not caring that her "person" is scared to death and she could help.  

Mr. Rbella, well, he just doesn't get it.  He swears it's gone and I should be fine.  This morning he said "Aren't you getting some of that make up you like so much today?  That should put you in a better mood."  Ummmm, that would put me in a better mood if I was in a different home with no disgusting snakescorpionbeadyeyedpinkskinned monster in it.


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## Divinity (Aug 6, 2008)

I totally feel for you and unless Mr. Rbella can show you the dead body, it's hard to take him for his word that it's gone.


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## rbella (Aug 6, 2008)

I know, right?  Before he left for work this morning, I gave him a kiss, told him I loved him and then informed him that I found him to be useless.  He laughed all the way to the car.  If he wasn't fronting my MAC addiction, there might be some severe punishments.


----------



## florabundance (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_I can feel it looking at me, taunting me, waiting to eat me._

 





i'm guessing Mr Rbella won't be getting any, any time soon. have you thought about playing that card
"kill the bug or i won't have sex with you ever again?"

EDIT: oh, he bought you MAC? I just read that part. I take it all back. lol


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## rbella (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *florabundance* 

 
_





i'm guessing Mr Rbella won't be getting any, any time soon. have you thought about playing that card
"kill the bug or i won't have sex with you ever again?"

* EDIT: oh, he bought you MAC? I just read that part. I take it all back. lol*_


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## duckduck (Aug 6, 2008)

Oh. My. God. I don't think I could sleep in that room until the thing was found and removed. In that situation, I would have utilized the stick and trashcan method of dealing with it. The stick is used to poke stuff until the creature comes out (and I subsequently drop the stick and scream a lot), and the trashcan is flipped upside down over the animal for someone else to deal with. If I knew that thing were still roaming free, I would be poking and moving stuff allll night in that room until it was found. Or making someone else do the same. Yik!

Okay, my scary bug story: the other day, I was coding in my office, and a freaking cockroach crawled up ON TO MY DESK! I quickly took action by alerting my office mates to the danger by screaming like crazy. I then grabbed the nearest containment device (an empty coffee mug) and flipping it upside down over the roach. Thing was, the mug wasn't big enough, so the roach's little antennae and legs were all sticking out and moving. MOVING!! Finally, I sucked up my pride and ran down the hall to the machine shop to find a nice big man to take care of the icky nasty roach. Yeah, they laughed at me, but I really, really didn't care. I then had to spend the next hour poking at stuff on and near my desk to make sure the roach didn't have any buddies. Ug - that was one terrible day at work.


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## duckduck (Aug 6, 2008)

PS. Sorry for the traumatizing picture, but was this the culprit?

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1261/...91e1f7.jpg?v=0

If so, it was a Mediterranean House Gecko common to your area. If it is him, I have at least some good news - he eats "young roaches, grasshoppers, katydids, ants, and other insects," but not people! Hooray! Still creepy tho


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## rbella (Aug 6, 2008)

Oh My God!!!! That was it!!  Yes!!!  I am going to throw up at the site of it.  I hope it eats every possible roach, but the thought that its slimy weird ass body could crawl across me totally gives me hives.  Oh Jesus, I have the chills.  I'm going to show it to my husband tonight.  He'll probably want to adopt it as a pet. 

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!! Now I know it won't eat me.


----------



## rbella (Aug 6, 2008)

BTW, I swear to God if anyone makes this an avatar I will friggin' heave.


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## User49 (Aug 6, 2008)

Lmao this is the funniest thread I've read in ages! thanks for sharing! Men are useless! what happened to chivalry!? My boyfriend is the same! If I see a spider he can't be bothered! I say get the hoover out have have a poke about!!! xx


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## User49 (Aug 6, 2008)

I think that is a really cute little lizard lol! At least it's not a scorpian! And it wont eat your toes! ")


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## rbella (Aug 6, 2008)

I hate him, glitter.  I really do.  He came waaaayyyy too close to my bare toe for me to give him any love.  God, it freaks me out.


----------



## lanslady (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *SkylarV217* 

 
_Thanks =) I try to convince myself of it daily as I look at all the tan girls in the summer time ;-)_

 
Hey I totally agree.  I don't do sun, at all.  All the sun I see is when I go out to my car to go somewhere or to get the mail. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




  I got a 1st and 2nd degree sunburn in 6th grade and since then, I just don't do sun.  I tried it a few times, I don't tan, I sizzle.


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## RaynelleM (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *duckduck* 

 
_PS. Sorry for the traumatizing picture, but was this the culprit?

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1261/...91e1f7.jpg?v=0

If so, it was a Mediterranean House Gecko common to your area. If it is him, I have at least some good news - he eats "young roaches, grasshoppers, katydids, ants, and other insects," but not people! Hooray! Still creepy tho 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
It's actually kinda cute ... and really useful to have around the house!! Kinda reminds me of all the lizards it was my “job” to kill when I was little.
Now if that was a moth or any type of flying insect I’d be freaking out … my hoover is kept out at all times to suck ‘em up if the cats don’t get to them first!!


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## MiCHiE (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *duckduck* 

 
_PS. Sorry for the traumatizing picture, but was this the culprit?

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1261/...91e1f7.jpg?v=0

If so, it was a Mediterranean House Gecko common to your area. If it is him, I have at least some good news - he eats "young roaches, grasshoppers, katydids, ants, and other insects," but not people! Hooray! Still creepy tho 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
He does look much better than a spider or a roach, but if he can't tell me how to save money on my car insurance, he gets the heave-ho, too.


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## rbella (Aug 6, 2008)

^^^OMG! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




  That was hilarious!!!  I maintain, he was NOT cute!


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## SkylarV217 (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_BTW, I swear to God if anyone makes this an avatar I will friggin' heave._

 
I was soo contemplating that right before I read that or at least putting in my siggie lol , I just didn't know if I could part with my Cowboy ..


----------



## concertina (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *ratmist* 

 
_I was *this* close to walking out of WALL-E as a result of his little cockroach friend._

 
Wall-E has a cockroach friend?!!?! 

...I don't think I can go see that now. *shudder*


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## concertina (Aug 6, 2008)

Awww, I love geckos! Remind me of my time in Hawaii. And they're so helpful; eating all the other nasties (like cockroaches) that I can't stand...

I am sorry it scared you though.


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## plastikpony (Aug 6, 2008)

I was reading up on geckos, and it appears that they are preyed upon by cats and large spiders... I have to say... your cat isn't being very productive...  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	







the good news is, they tend to move around a lot... so your gecko should've moved on by now... 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 that, or your cat already ate it.


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## rbella (Aug 6, 2008)

^^^Trust me, FiFi's lazy ass didn't eat it.  She has not gotten out of her shoe box all day.


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## macslut (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_
As I finally drift off into my slumber, my friggin' cat, FiFi, jumps up on to my stomach and runs across my body and off the couch.  What the hell was she trying to do?  Sometimes she just decides to wig out.  Needless to say that sent me into a frenzy of freakouts.  Was she chasing the monster?  Oh My God?  Had it JUST BEEN ON TOP OF ME?  I couldn't stand it._

 
OH GOD, my cat does that and I hate it! I jump out of my skin every time and I don't have weird pink monsters lurking under things.   I am convinced he just wants me up because he is up.  

I tensed right up when I read your post.  I don't deal well with creepy crawlies. But, your cat may have already hunted it down and killed it.  Let's hope you don't find a "gift" in your shoe.


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## macslut (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_^^^Trust me, FiFi's lazy ass didn't eat it.  She has not gotten out of her shoe box all day._

 
I posted before I read this.  Maybe it just went away.  My prayers and thoughts are with you during this trying time.


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## rbella (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *macslut* 

 
_OH GOD, my cat does that and I hate it! I jump out of my skin every time and I don't have weird pink monsters lurking under things.   I am convinced he just wants me up because he is up.  

I tensed right up when I read your post.  I don't deal well with creepy crawlies. But, your cat may have already hunted it down and killed it.  *Let's hope you don't find a "gift" in your shoe.*_

 
That's so gross.  I will die, DIE!!!  If she actually dared to pick her lazy, fat behind up and kill this monster to save her mother, I might actually re-gain some respect for her.  However, if she vomits it or dumps it in anyway into one of my personal belongings, that's it.  She will no longer get her tuna juice as a treat.  ok, she will.  i totally spoil her.


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## rbella (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *macslut* 

 
_I posted before I read this.  Maybe it just went away.  My prayers and thoughts are with you during this trying time. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 

And I posted before I read this.  Ahahahaha!!!  That is awesome, you are hilarious!!


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## rbella (Aug 6, 2008)

USELESS​


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## lanslady (Aug 6, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_





USELESS​_

 
AWWWWW!  She looks like my Maine Coon, her name is Banky.  She's uselss too unless for entertainment purposes when she talks to herself while looking in the mirror.


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## SkylarV217 (Aug 7, 2008)

Awww she's not useless look at the picture ... she's so busy scouting for creepy crawlies that she can't bother to look at the camera.


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## SkylarV217 (Aug 7, 2008)

PS .... You need to change your siggy to this :

I’m sorry, you must have mistaken me for somebody else. My name is Anastasia Beverhausen. Anastasia like Russian Royalty, Beverhausen, like……….where the beaver…live.


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## jardinaires (Aug 7, 2008)

okay i'm reading posts about how funny this is


but what i am really curious about is, what the fuck was that thing: a bug, a mammal of some kind, perhaps a hairless rat? i sat there scrolling down, hoping to see some kind of suggestion about what this thing is, and i see nothing. i think if i had no earthly idea what the hell just crawled past my bare foot in any given situation, i would pee all over myself regardless.


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## MACATTAK (Aug 7, 2008)

^^ duckduck came through with the answer to the riddle on page 3


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## cubachinita (Aug 7, 2008)

rbella, you are hillarious!! I've had so many laughs reading your post. I hope you find that thing and get it quickly out of your house. I would be scared to death with something like that. Am such a chicken when it comes to insects. Let us know what happens.


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## Divinity (Aug 7, 2008)

Don't these lizard-like things feed on bugs?


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## purrtykitty (Aug 7, 2008)

This whole thread has had me LMAO!!  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Fifi is a doll, though, useless as she might be!


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## CantAffordMAC (Aug 7, 2008)

OMG what is that in my avatar? 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	







I love you Rbella...ur awesome.

It was a gecko?!? They are ADORABLE. LoL Bugs are my main problem. Although I'd be scared if there was a snake in the house. But I wuv lizards, and stuff like lizards


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## SkylarV217 (Aug 7, 2008)

- My MIL used to be a nurse that would go to peoples houses and this 90 year old blind women kept telling her that there was a snake in her bed ... and NOBODY believed her. Well the little lady moved and still swore up and down there was a snake in her bed.... One day the MIL was in the Kitchen fixing her some lunch and opened the Silverware drawer and a snake about 10 inches long jumped out at her... apparently it was "living" In the the lady's mattress...

I would have had a Heart attack ... and moved leaving all of my stuff in that house lol ...


----------



## rbella (Aug 7, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *SkylarV217* 

 
_Awww she's not useless look at the picture ... she's so busy scouting for creepy crawlies that she can't bother to look at the camera._

 
She isn't scouting, trust me.  If anything, she is looking down in shame.

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *SkylarV217* 

 
_PS .... You need to change your siggy to this :

I’m sorry, you must have mistaken me for somebody else. My name is Anastasia Beverhausen. Anastasia like Russian Royalty, Beverhausen, like……….where the beaver…live. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 





 I love it!!  Or, "Hey, Apron.  Who told you that you could speak to me?"

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *CantAffordMAC* 

 
_OMG what is that in my avatar? 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	







I love you Rbella...ur awesome.

It was a gecko?!? They are ADORABLE. LoL Bugs are my main problem. Although I'd be scared if there was a snake in the house. But I wuv lizards, and stuff like lizards 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	







_

 
Ok, this is just painful.  First, you are dead to me.  Second, this "gecko" is NOT adorable.  It is slimy, pink, beady-eyed and fucking nasty.  Add to the fact that my husband just informed me that if you pinch their tails off the wriggle away and still live?  Are you kidding me?   Something that can do that is pure evil.  It was over an inch long!! Seriously.  That is just gnarly.
***for the record, you're really not dead to me but I shall ignore you for 1 full day.***

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *SkylarV217* 

 
_- My MIL used to be a nurse that would go to peoples houses and this 90 year old blind women kept telling her that there was a snake in her bed ... and NOBODY believed her. Well the little lady moved and still swore up and down there was a snake in her bed.... One day the MIL was in the Kitchen fixing her some lunch and opened the Silverware drawer and a snake about 10 inches long jumped out at her... apparently it was "living" In the the lady's mattress...

I would have had a Heart attack ... and moved leaving all of my stuff in that house lol ..._

 
That is SICK.  I don't even know what to say to that.  I would have to move to another city.

So, the little son of a bitch is still here.  I saw it scurry across the bathroom and INTO MY CLOSET yesterday.  Of course, I was here alone.  Not that it would have mattered as Mr. Rbella has proved himself quite useless.  And to make matters worse, FiFi was sitting there in the damn bathroom and could barely muster the energy to let her eyes follow it INTO MY CLOSET.  She did NOT get any tuna juice yesterday.  

I am not kidding you when I say this, I am wearing my husbands clothes today.  Including underwear.  My "support" is an old sports bra I found in the guest bathroom (I hope it is mine).  Thank the Lord I had not put my shoes up yesterday b/c I can wear those with my striking outfit to run my errands.  If I have to show houses today, I will go buy another outfit.

This stupid ass freak show that Can't Afford Mac finds ever so adorable is ruining my life.


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## SkylarV217 (Aug 7, 2008)

You are cracking me up lol , I do hope for your sake that you don't need to show a house today ....


This may be helpful How to Get Rid of Common House Geckos - wikiHow

Put Mr. Rbella to work sealing the outside of your house so no more can get in !


----------



## duckduck (Aug 7, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *SkylarV217* 

 
_You are cracking me up lol , I do hope for your sake that you don't need to show a house today ....


This may be helpful How to Get Rid of Common House Geckos - wikiHow

Put Mr. Rbella to work sealing the outside of your house so no more can get in !_

 
Ohhh - BLAST THE A/C!! Get that house down to a freakin' snowstorm, that way the gecko will want to leave of his own accord.


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## CantAffordMAC (Aug 8, 2008)

LOL I'm sowwy Rbella 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




. I still love you 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



If I was there, I'd find the thing and take it outside for you. of course it'd probably be poisonous and swallow me whole


----------



## k.a.t (Aug 8, 2008)

LOL this thread's too funny 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Hope you get rid of it soon. oo you should take a pic of it when you do


----------



## reesesilverstar (Aug 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_Seriously,
I was walking into my bedroom during the commercial break for CSI, Miami.  I was trying to go to my closet to get the shoes I bought today so I could show Mr. Rbella.  On the way to my closet a freakishly ugly, wormlike, pinkish in color, beady eyed thing wiggled past my bare f*cking foot and underneath my bed.  It was at least an inch and half long with a f*cking tail.

I screamed bloody murder.  I said "Oh my God!! OH MY GOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD!!!!  Come get it!! Come get it!!"  Unfortunately for me, my husband couldn't be bothered because get this, CSI had come back on.  Are you friggin' kidding me?  I came in and yelled at him that there is a scorpion, snakelike creature underneath the bed and he damn sure better get it before I have a heart attack.  His response was "I can't see underneath the bed, what do you want me to do about it?"  I said "What the hell do you think I married you for?"   He doesn't even care that this God-awful creature is going to try and kill us tonight or at the very least eat our toes.  I'm so pissed at him I can't see straight (not really, I still love the fool).  

I am seriously thinking about sleeping at a hotel but I'm afraid of bedbugs and a hurricane is coming around the time I'd have to check out.  I'm really freaking out.  

Mr. Rbella just said that he'll "look into it" before we go to bed.  I'm so lucky.  My hero._

 
Oh gosh!
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I have tears in my eyes, and I feel like I need to puff on something. This was HILARIOUS! I love yr expressions. LMAO!!

So did he eventually go get it? I'm gonna read the other posts now. But that should be a joke somewhere (no offense, I know u were freaked out, but how u said it was real funny).


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## Monsterbilly (Aug 9, 2008)

I just read the whole thread 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	






I like geckos, my brother  actually tried to breed geckos for me to release at home because i had a big problem with brown spiders 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



I used to love spiders, until i moved to another city that had those brown ones, and found out that it's quite dangerous, and can actually kill someone 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



My house was full of them, one day laughed my ass off cuz my boyfriend was freaking out cuz of this itty  bitty brown spider crawling on him. Didn't know about brown spiders back then, now i'm terrified about it too. 
Anyway, i'm way too tough and proud to ask my boyfriend to kill bugs, i do it myself just to say "fragile my ass, i don't need men!!!" Stupid me, should let him do his job


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## SkylarV217 (Aug 9, 2008)

^^^^^ Not all brown spiders are bad... heres how you can tell if it is a brown recluse or not   Brown Recluse Spider


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## Zantedge (Aug 9, 2008)

OMG I can handle an ugly gecko but I cannot handle a spider, they are one of by biggest fears in life. Even the little baby ones : (


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## rbella (Aug 9, 2008)

No Way.  I don't believe it for one freakin' minute.  If any of you so called "gecko lovers" had one almost slither across your BARE TOE or try to SLEEP WITH YOU, you would freak.  Don't lie, he ain't all that.


----------



## Monsterbilly (Aug 9, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *SkylarV217* 

 
_^^^^^ Not all brown spiders are bad... heres how you can tell if it is a brown recluse or not   Brown Recluse Spider_

 
Yeah i know, that's the one we had, except that in Brazil we have loxosceles gaucho not loxosceles reclusa .. which is just as bad 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



But anyway, there's no time for eye counting, i just kill the damn thing hahahaha
One day i killed about 20 of those when i was cleaning a room full of thrash 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I got so paranoid that i actually felt spiders crawling all over me


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## rbella (Aug 9, 2008)

You all see this:






I see this:


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## k.a.t (Aug 9, 2008)

Eek! wth is that thing?! It looks like an alien


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## SparklingWaves (Aug 9, 2008)

My husband does not like to kill things. He will catch it and show it to me.  Then, he returns it to nature.  

When he is *not *home, those things tend to show up .


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## rbella (Aug 9, 2008)

If it is a roach, it doesn't deserve to live.  They are evil, pure evil.


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## Monsterbilly (Aug 9, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_You all see this:







I see this:




_

 
haha i see this 




Look how adorable they are 




I use to have a couple of salamanders, some people find it gross, i think they were the cutest thing


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## lizardprincesa (Aug 9, 2008)

*OMGoddess!! I can't take this thread any more! 
I am alternately hysterically laughing, or nauseous.*

*To set the record straight, I am not really a lizard.
 (I'm not a princess, either.) *
*(My user name is in reference to the poet, James Douglas Morrison; he wasn't a lizard, either, but "The Lizard King" was a persona which developed somehow while he was performing. I don't think he loved being called "The Lizard King;" or the fun wore off after awhile.)*


*I am, actually, frightened of Lizards AND I'm Terrified of:*

*Spiders*
*Snakes*
*Most insects which have legs or that *fly**
*Bats*
*All rodents*
*Anything slithery or slimy I forgot. I can't bear to think of or name more, because I am raising my blood pressure more than it's already risen due to having read this entire thread.*​*
rbella, You are a fabulous writer. I think you ought to write a daily column. However, if your subject matter resembles the subject of this thread, 
I'm sorry, but I will not be able to read it.

**I haven't eaten Today, & it's 2:18 PM on the clock.
 I don't think I want to eat, now. *​*
A couple of hilariously funny people who posted do what I do, implementation of the "push it with something & cover it up" method...I do this immediately, & hopefully, I'm able to omit the "move it" part. I LOVED some of the posters' stories. I'd name you all, but must write quickly. I hear a funny buzzing sound & I'm sitting *on my bed.*. Oh, sh**...

 If my husband is not at home:

1) I scream so loudly, people in the neighborhood must assume I am either 
     a) being killed, or b) in the throes of ecstacy

2) I clamp something down over it (whatever is nearby, i.e. the coffee *mug*    (one which I don't plan to drink from ever again, kept especially for such occasions.)

(If the intruder is too large, I will place a garbage can lid atop. If it is moving, I will grab my son & leave the house, to wait outside until the cats take care of it, or until my husband arrives (even if it will be hours & I have no car available.)

**(I pray the Creature will not suffer, if the Cats find it. 
They are a vicious 4-Pack.) *​*
3) I email or call my husband at work. If I reach him by phone, from the sound of my incoherently hysterical screams, he assumes someone has died. 

If my hubby cannot come home immediately:

4) If the offender is small & I have successfully trapped it, I worry about its breathing... &  
I  keep watch.


If my husband *is* home, I scream hysterically (as described in  step  1, above).

He says, "I'll take care of that," in his most testosterone-filled voice.

I beg, "No! Please don't kill it! Please please! Just set it free outside! Make sure it's far away, though!!"

anyway...*

*Thanks for the laughs (& the grossness! eeeewww!)

CherylFaith
*​


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## MACATTAK (Aug 9, 2008)

Rbella...I see what you see!  No way would I think that thing is cute...especially living rent free in my home!!!!!!!!!


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## Sanayhs (Aug 9, 2008)

There are much cuter geckos out there. I've mostly just had mouse run-ins... my first was when I was about thirteen or fourteen, and I was sitting barefoot at the computer. I heard something, and looked down, and there was a mouse running by about a centimetre from my feet. I ran upstairs to find my mother and said, "MOM! There's a mouse in the basement! It ran by my bare feet and I've named it Mortimer!" She looked absolutely horrified at the news of a mouse, and then stopped, looked shocked and started to laugh when she realized I'd named it. 

I had a cat that loved me dearly and would hunt for presents for me. She'd leave mice on the dining room table, in my shoes, hanging off a purse, et cetera. For as long as I lived with that cat (my mom drove over her one day, and that was the end of the kitty 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




), I always shook out my shoes before putting them on. 

So, hey, maybe FiFi's laziness isn't quite so bad?


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## lizardprincesa (Aug 9, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Sanayhs* 

 
_There are much cuter geckos out there. I've mostly just had mouse run-ins... my first was when I was about thirteen or fourteen, and I was sitting barefoot at the computer. I heard something, and looked down, and there was a mouse running by about a centimetre from my feet. I ran upstairs to find my mother and said, "MOM! There's a mouse in the basement! It ran by my bare feet and I've named it Mortimer!" She looked absolutely horrified at the news of a mouse, and then stopped, looked shocked and started to laugh when she realized I'd named it._

 
*LOL !  That's adorable! I'm so scared of mice, I can't even touch the subject.
* 
 Quote:

   I had a cat that loved me dearly and would hunt for presents for me. She'd leave mice on the dining room table, in my shoes, hanging off a purse, et cetera. For as long as I lived with that cat (my mom drove over her one day, and that was the end of the kitty 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




), I always shook out my shoes before putting them on.  
 
*I'm sooo sorry about your kitty. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


*

*Our kitties do love to gift us, don't they? 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


*

*One Evening, when I was in my 1st marriage, my kitty, Aiki, started acting extra-affectionate, and she actually seemed ecstatic! I wasn't sure what was up, if she'd gotten into the nip stash again, or what. *
*She was a joyful little girl, but she seemed *extra* lovey that Eve.*

*Later that Night, I went upstairs & prepared for bed. I pulled down my covers, & I remarked, "Oh, the bed feels so soft and almost...furry....OMG! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!"*
*Aiki had left me a gift, a little grey house-mouse (**indoor kitty, she was) *beneath* the bedclothes, exactly where I slept.*

*Blessings, Aiki, I still miss you, wherever Lives your sweet Spirit.

Blessings to your kitty, too, **Sanayhs, & to all our Beloved Kitty Companions.
*
*xxxCF *​


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## macslut (Aug 9, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_You all see this:






I see this:



_


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## Divinity (Aug 9, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_If it is a roach, it doesn't deserve to live.  They are evil, pure evil._

 
Kills me to know that those suckers survive nuclear destruction too.


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## rbella (Aug 10, 2008)

Ok, monster-those pics are so gross I can't deal with it.  Why the hell would someone VOLUNTARIY touch one of these?

Lizard- you are too sweet to me!  Thanks for the lovely compliment! Your method of bug evasion is similar to my sisters!


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## lizardprincesa (Aug 10, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_Ok, monster-those pics are so gross I can't deal with it.  Why the hell would someone VOLUNTARIY touch one of these?_

 
*I know!! Eeek! I think my son likes the slithery *toys* he sees in the stores. 
I can't even look at *those*!  
My hubby is very scientific *and* into Nature...& he is also a little boy at Heart (are they all??) *
*My hubby brought a bunch of baby hedgehogs into his house when he was little, & who knows *what else*???? I don't think the hedgehogs are so scary, but they do look spikey...*


* Please somebody tell me my son is not going to bring scary monsters into the house...(including rubber spiders) 
(my fingers tremble when I write the word "spider".)*


*Please tell me my two men aren't going to conspire against me 
with slithery, multi-legged pals. !!!!*​ 
 Quote:

   Lizard- you are too sweet to me!  Thanks for the lovely compliment!  
 
*You do compose a story really well, rbella.*

*But wait....you can't be speaking to me. You must be speaking to your housemate??*​
**If* you are speaking to *me,* rbella, I am *not* a Lizard, as I said before. "Lizard" is a nickname I do not wish to gain (which of these smiley things shows "horrified" ?)

If I am being conceited and you are not, indeed, addressing me, please forgive me! I don't win either way 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	







 (I've never used that icon before.)
*
 Quote:

  Your method of bug evasion is similar to my sisters!  
 
*Does your sister have a little boy, too? 
I am freaked out thinking about the crawly things, even tho they are Creatures of Nature. 
I know they are waiting.....

FYI, rbella, I spent the rest of the yesterday in a state of paranoia. I heard & saw Creatures (way teenier than your houseguest) at every turn. I cleaned
in an obsessive way. I don't generally clean obsessively. My son didn't know
what was up! He was laughing! 

(I suppose I ought to thank you, rbella ::jumps & turns frightened eyes sideways::  My house hasn't been this clean in quite awhile.)

If you weren't  speaking to me,  please disregard  the entirety of this silly diatribe, as well  as my conceit at thinking you meant me  by addressing "Lizard".   

xxxCherylFaith
*
Yesterday


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## GreekChick (Aug 10, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_You all see this:






I see this:



_

 
WTH is that second thing? Whatever it is, shouldn't it be extinct with the rest of them???


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## duckduck (Aug 11, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *GreekChick* 

 
_WTH is that second thing? Whatever it is, shouldn't it be extinct with the rest of them???_

 
I'm really wondering too - I can't look at it nearly long enough to figure it out though


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## rbella (Aug 11, 2008)

Dang, ladies!  That is the Montauk Sea Monster that "supposedly" washed up on shore in the Hamptons.  Yuck!!!!!

Here is a link to an article on it: http://hamptons.plumtv.com/blog/whats_going/paging_darwin_montauk_%E2%80%9Csea_monster%E2%80%9  D_real_or_photoshop_phantasy


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## rbella (Aug 11, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *lizardprincesa* 

 
_*But wait....you can't be speaking to me. You must be speaking to your housemate??*​
**If* you are speaking to *me,* rbella, I am *not* a Lizard, as I said before. "Lizard" is a nickname I do not wish to gain (which of these smiley things shows "horrified" ?)

If I am being conceited and you are not, indeed, addressing me, please forgive me! I don't win either way 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	







 (I've never used that icon before.) *_

 

You aren't being conceited at all, you're so funny.  I just called you "Lizard" b/c it is the beginning of your username.  I'll have to come up with a nickname for you.  From now on, I shall address you as "LP".  Sorry if I hurt your feelers. 


 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *lizardprincesa* 

 
_*Does your sister have a little boy, too? *_

 
 Yes, she has a 13 month old.  I love him so much!  Even if he brought me a roach, I would still love him.  I'd throw up, but I'd still love him.

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *lizardprincesa* 

 
_* FYI, rbella, I spent the rest of the yesterday in a state of paranoia. I heard & saw Creatures (way teenier than your houseguest) at every turn. I cleaned
in an obsessive way. I don't generally clean obsessively. My son didn't know
what was up! He was laughing! 

(I suppose I ought to thank you, rbella ::jumps & turns frightened eyes sideways::  My house hasn't been this clean in quite awhile.)
*_

 
Oh no!!  I'm so sorry!! But, one good thing has come out of this!  Your house is so spotless that nary a rodent nor insect shall dare to cross your threshold.  

Wait, what does that say about my house????


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## blindpassion (Aug 12, 2008)

*hehehe this thread is sooo amusing! it has brought me many giggles.*


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## fingie (Aug 21, 2008)

Once I started reading this thread I totally had to follow along until you found out what it was.  Now that I know it was a gecko, it actually makes me nostalgic since I had a pet leopard gecko when I was about 12 or so. As far as cockroaches and whatnot though, I'm with you 100%.  I cannot deal with bugs or pretty much anything with more than 4 legs.


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## MACATTAK (Aug 21, 2008)

Rbella have you caught the creepy crawly yet?


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## rbella (Aug 21, 2008)

This is so odd, I was just talking to nickswifey about this.  

No, that little son of a bitch is still here.  Mr. Rbella swears that he has left and gone to torture others, but I don't believe it.  I can _feel_ it looking at me, waiting to crawl on me and lick my eyeballs.  

I haven't actually seen it since it crawled across the bathroom (directly in front of my useless cat, FiFi) and into my friggin' closet.

But on another note, I was showing houses to a couple on Saturday and we walked into a bathroom with a bathtub full of DEAD, BIG-ASS COCKROACHES.  I almost crapped my pants.  I did not keep my composure, unfortunately.  I ran out of there, knocking the husband and wife out of my way screaming "Oh my God, it so gross!  It's soooo groooosssss!".  I have a sneaking suspicion they are not going to purchase that home.  I also have a sneaking suspicion that I _might_ have lost their business.  Most likely because I scared the piss out of them and practically injured them on a simple home tour.

Oh well.  Whaddya gonna do?


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## MACATTAK (Aug 21, 2008)

Quote:

  But on another note, I was showing houses to a couple on Saturday and we walked into a bathroom with a bathtub full of DEAD, BIG-ASS COCKROACHES. I almost crapped my pants. I did not keep my composure, unfortunately. I ran out of there, knocking the husband and wife out of my way screaming "Oh my God, it so gross! It's soooo groooosssss!". I have a sneaking suspicion they are not going to purchase that home. I also have a sneaking suspicion that I _might_ have lost their business. Most likely because I scared the piss out of them and practically injured them on a simple home tour.  
 
That is so sick!  I would have done the same thing!!!!!!


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## MzzRach (Aug 21, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_ 


OH MY GOD THAT IS SO GROSS I CAN'T STAND IT. If that is what it is, I'll die. My husband said it was probably the same thing and that if it does get in the bed "you'll be fine, the worst that will happen is it will lick your eye like the gecko in the Geico commercials." 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			




_

 
LMFAO!!!!!!! That is seriously the funniest thing I have heard in a while - OMG I nearly peed myself. I haven't gotten to the end of this thread yet, hopefully things are resolved for you. *keeps reading*

*finishes reading*

OMG thank you all for this thread.  I have been laughing so hard, and believe me, I need that right now. rbella I am so sorry that this has been traumatizing for you - but damn, woman, you are a freaking comedienne!  Talk about putting a spin on things............*hugs*


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## MzzRach (Aug 21, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Divinity* 

 
_Kills me to know that those suckers survive nuclear destruction too._

 
I know it!  They are the epitome of filth.  *shudder*


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## rbella (Aug 21, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *MzzRach* 

 
_LMFAO!!!!!!! That is seriously the funniest thing I have heard in a while - OMG I nearly peed myself. I haven't gotten to the end of this thread yet, hopefully things are resolved for you. *keeps reading*

*finishes reading*

OMG thank you all for this thread.  I have been laughing so hard, and believe me, I need that right now. rbella I am so sorry that this has been traumatizing for you - but damn, woman, you are a freaking comedienne!  Talk about putting a spin on things............*hugs*_

 

Awww, I'm glad it made you smile!  I hope everything is ok!  {{{hugs back}}}


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## Kayteuk (Aug 22, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_Seriously,
 Unfortunately for me, my husband couldn't be bothered because get this, CSI had come back on._

 
That killed me! My guy did exactly the same the other day but "Bones" came back on and he had the dog.

Mine was with a waterbeetle in the bathroom, the worst thing was the dog picked it up and started crunching on it when i started yelling, and my BF didnt help! He let him eat it! And its little legs were twitching! ARGHHHH! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Lol! I guess its worse with a big wiggly thing =S Have you found it yet? And what were the shoes like!!


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## Fairybelle (Aug 22, 2008)

Now I NEED a cat...cat will eat the creepy crawlies...


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## MACATTAK (Aug 22, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Fairybelle* 

 
_Now I NEED a cat...cat will eat the creepy crawlies..._

 

Yes, you do!  Don't know how I got so lucky, but one of my cats gets lizards, mice, and gophers that are outside.  My other cat takes care of all the bugs!!


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## rbella (Aug 22, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Kayteuk* 

 
_That killed me! My guy did exactly the same the other day but "Bones" came back on and he had the dog.

Mine was with a waterbeetle in the bathroom, the worst thing was the dog picked it up and started crunching on it when i started yelling, and my BF didnt help! He let him eat it! And its little legs were twitching! ARGHHHH! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Lol! I guess its worse with a big wiggly thing =S Have you found it yet? And what were the shoes like!!_

 
I haven't found it yet.  It is still here wanting to kill me.  I hate it so much.  And that waterbeetle thingy, I don't know what the hell that is, but please do not tell me.  It just sounds disgusting.  Oh my God, I'm freaking out thinking about it.  Yuck!!!!!!!!  Men are useless when the tv is on.

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Fairybelle* 

 
_Now I NEED a cat...cat will eat the creepy crawlies..._

 
Not if you have a loser-ass cat like mine.  ***for the record she is totally spoiled and I love her more than my husband***  ***for the record I love my husband just as much as FiFi*** 

FiFi could _not_ be bothered.  God forbid should she have to exit her shoebox and save her beloved person (mother) from the creature.


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## Kayteuk (Aug 22, 2008)

Hahaha! That post made me laugh, I love my puppy more than my guy =P And mine is spoilt =P LOL! I think maybe we should set up a pets home defence program against scary bugs =(


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## rbella (Aug 22, 2008)

Yes, I had to clarify b/c I'm not _supposed_ to love her more than him.  This is what he tells me at least.  It's just a little secret between me, FiFi and everyone else who knows me!!!!!!!


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## MzzRach (Aug 22, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *rbella* 

 
_Yes, I had to clarify b/c I'm not supposed to love her more than him. This is what he tells me at least. It's just a little secret between me, FiFi and everyone else who knows me!!!!!!!_

 
It's all part of  being owned by a cat.  Because we surely do not own them!


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## rbella (Aug 22, 2008)

^^^Truer words have never been spoken.


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## Monsterbilly (Aug 22, 2008)

I remembered this thread when i posted this picture on the psychobilly hair thread


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## rbella (Aug 22, 2008)

Omg!!!!!!!! Wtf Is That???????????????


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## MACATTAK (Aug 22, 2008)

Looks like a crusty frog to me!


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## Monsterbilly (Aug 23, 2008)

Yes.. It's a frog!


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## rbella (Aug 23, 2008)

Oh, that's not tooooo bad.  Little bitty froggies can be sweet.  That big ass one kinda freaks me out a bit!!!


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## alienman (Aug 23, 2008)

i totally fell apart laughing reading this lolol

thanks for the mood lift, guys


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