# Scared about College?



## newagetomatoz (Jul 24, 2008)

This fall, I'm going away to college, where I'll be dorming (duh).  While I'm excited about going away and starting college, I'm also really scared.  After orientation a few weeks ago, I'm begun to be really scared about going away.  I really won't know anyone there and I'm really nervous that I'll be alone, or that I really won't make any friends.

Part of this comes from the fact that Freshmen move in on the 21st (Thursday) and everyone else moves in on the 22nd (Friday), and I'm afraid that I won't make friends right away and sort of do everything alone.  Also, I'm not really a party girl at all, and the thought of going to parties scares me.  I don't know if it's because I'm more of an introvert and quiet, and never really know what to say to people until I'm more comfortable with them.

So, does anyone have any advice or stories to help me?  All I've been doing so far is meeting with some of my friends who are going away, too, and having little "pow wows" with them, along with a few tears.

TIA!


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## blinkymei (Jul 24, 2008)

awww... I LOVED COLLEGE and I miss it, everyone says that and its true. Before I went to college I was a complete introvert who was so shy and really had a lack of confidence. I did not go to college with any of my close friends from high school, though my roommate was outgoing and she kinda helped me break out of my shell. On our first couple of nights we went from dorm to dorm and dorm building to dorm building to any room that had their dorm room open and everyone was super nice and down to meet us. We didn't even go to any "real" parties (like those media such as movie types of crazy house/frat parties) our freshmen year, we had our own silly dance parties in our rooms and without alcohol too because we were "immature."

Basically, meeting people was a key to my change of learning and finding out who I was because they accepted me for me and challenged me in ways that I wouldn't have dealt with if I was at home...ahaha, it sounds totally cliche but it was true in my case. Some of my closest friends now and mostly those that I met from college.

well I hope that helps and good luck and have fun. Every situation is really what you make it, you can make it really enjoyable and have the best time. You only get an experience like once in a while cuz you're young and its a great situation because there are so many other people (newbies who are nervous) in a similar situation where they want to meet people too.


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## preciouscharm (Jul 24, 2008)

Don't be scared! Remember there's a million other kids feeling the same way you are. Don't worry you'll make friends. The difference between high school and college is you'll meet more open and different people. 
My advice is to get involved, join clubs, take every opportunity!


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## iluffyew769769 (Jul 24, 2008)

^agreed, You will be fine, you aren't the only person feeling that way.


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## darkishstar (Jul 24, 2008)

Hey babe! You are going to love college. Believe me. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 I was really scared too, everyone is! It's because.. unlike before.. where everyone you know just kept moving on to the next school.. EVERYONE is going to be different. It's a new stage in life and it sucks to change, but it happens. All you have to do is keep looking straight and smile! I promise. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I'm glad you will be dorming! You make a LOT of friends that way and hopefully you'll click with your roommate! People who start off by living off campus have a much harder time blending into the social life. And! Another way of making friends is to join a few clubs that you're interested in. In the first few weeks, there should be some club day events were you can check out ALL of the clubs. And how do you start meeting most people? You do so by finding a common interest, i.e. a club! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 You could also look into rushing a sorority, but since you're introverted, it might not be the best idea. But! College is a time for checking out new things, and in a sorority you DO meet a lot of people and if you're in one, you're in a family and you have sisters as well. Sororities are intended for you to meet people and make friends, have a family away from family. Even though there are all those rumors of "sororities" you may just have to find a right one. But if you don't want to rush, then don't, but you may want to check it out. A suggestion.

That doesn't make leaving any better though. Things do change. You won't get to see your back home friends all the time like you did before, even when you come back for the summer. But if nothing has changed when you do come back, that means it was true friendship. You tend to live a double life, one at college, and one when you get back home, and that's totally fine. The worst part about leaving was when.. everytime I went to hang out with my friends before we all went to college is that the group got smaller and smaller as summer went on. It's really sad. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 My best friend goes to UCDavis in NorCal, while I go to UCLA in SoCal. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 Just make sure you make the best of the time you have left and you won't regret it, promise.

And about parties. There are ALWAYS different kinds of party. If you're apprehensive about frat parties or parties that have alcohol, DO NOT go to them. No one is forcing you to. You DON'T meet people that way because you don't meet people when they're drunk, you meet DRUNK PEOPLE. I've had little food parties with my friends or people from my dorm building, I've went on coffee runs with them.. we have little parties like that as well. We've even had little dance parties in our dorm! And if you DO go to a party, make sure you go with people you are comfortable with and who will take care of you. Even if you are introverted and quiet, doesn't mean everyone at college is outgoing either. You WILL make friends and even if it takes you longer than others, don't be discouraged because if they won't be your friends, those are not people you want to be friends with. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 And who knows, if you meet the right people, they may be able to bring you out of your shell and make you outgoing! You never know! College is really when you learn to grow up, believe me. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Also, if you get a job, you'll make friends too. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 Coworkers are some of the funnest people to hang out with, at least for me.

Best advice of all is to HAVE FUN. Don't change who you are just to make friends. Stay yourself, you WILL have fun, you WILL love college. Not to be cliche, but it some of the best years in your life. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I hope that helps you out, you will be fine!


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## aimerbijoux (Jul 24, 2008)

I am in the same exact boat as you! Seriously, you seem to be my twin right now. Everything you just described sounds like I wrote it myself. I'm quiet and introverted, going off to another town where I won't know anyone... and I am terrified! Also, i'm dorming just like you and i'm not a party girl either. I've never been to one, ever. 

Even though I don't have advice for you since i'm in the same situation, I am here to let you know that you aren't the only one


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## chocolategoddes (Jul 24, 2008)

I'm currently going into my senior year of high school so I'm at that stage of just choosing colleges that would be right for me. I'll be in your shoes in less than a year. 

But like everyone has said, college isn't really the same way it's portrayed on TV. You'll get used to it, make new friends, and start loving it.

I wouldn't say I'm that shy and quiet but I do like my space so my only real worry is not having any privacy! And being away from my family would suck. 

But it's nothing to be "_scared_" of!


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## coachkitten (Jul 24, 2008)

I was so nervous to go to college because I am not the best with big life changes but once I got there I never looked back.  I got active in dorm life and also joined a sorority (which I know isn't for everyone).  I lived in the dorm for one year which I loved because I got to make all sorts of friends.

Also get active in things that you enjoy.  I got signed up to have a radio show at the local college station and just did a lot of things to keep myself busy.  

It is a lot to take in at first but I swear that it will be the fastest and most fun four years of your life.  I totally miss college and the things that I got to experience.  Good luck and keep us posted on how it goes!


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## pumpkincat210 (Jul 25, 2008)

Nearly everyone i've talked to that has gone to college says that they thought it was one of the best times in their lives.  
I think that it is easier to make friends in college than in high school, as everyone has grown up alot and is more open minded. 
I think living in a dorm would be so much fun! i never got the chance, but living with a bunch of people around your own age would be excellent!   Everybody gets scared when they are going away to live on their own for the first time and in a new environment.   Not everyone parties and if you do decide to go to one just relax and remember that you are there to meet people and have fun.   Don't ever feel forced to drink.   It's good that you don't party because you'll want to focus on studying especially your first semester when you aren't sure how everything works.


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## cutenurse2486 (Jul 25, 2008)

Aw...I was the exact same way when I started college!  I made my boyfriend meet me at my school on my first day because I was so scared...I was convinced that no one would like me, but I had to get over my fear and just talk to people...plus it is kinda hard to do group projects if you are too worried about what others think of you and don't say a word!  I think it is really good that you will be in the dorm b/c that will force you to interact with other people and make friends.  I lived at home all through college & I think I missed out on meeting a bunch of interesting new people.  I agree with what everyone else said, people in college are just...I dunno, nicer (well most of them 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 ) and most of them are very open to talking to new people.  I used to be sooo shy, but I think going to college and talking to new people really helped me come out of my shell.  It will happen to you too, you just have to push yourself to step a little out of your comfort zone!  I know it is scary, but I promise that all the freshmen at your school are going through the same emotions & you are not alone!  The next few years are all about you finding out who you are and you will be amazed at how many others share your likes & dislikes.  Just be open to new things & friendly to people you meet...you will do great!  Good luck...you are about to start a very exciting part of your life!!!


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## k.a.t (Jul 25, 2008)

Hmm, i'm not really sure how 'college' works in the US...do you always have to 'dorm' there?

I'm starting college in September but difference is i'll be staying home seeing as it's only 20 mins away by bus and most of my school's going there so i know i won't be alone lol But i'm still scared coz i hate change so i can only imagine how you feel..


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## pratbc (Jul 25, 2008)

When I decided to move away from Florida where I had been my entire life to Boston for college I was absolutely petrified.  I was pretty excited to just get away from everyone and everything until I went to orientation.  After orientation I realized that I wasn't going to know anyone there and would have to meet all new people and make all new friends all the while adjusting to both living with a stranger in a dorm and a totally new city.  
Honestly, I was really lonely the first few weeks until I got over my fears and just started talking to people.  I made many acquaintances but I did also make a small circle of girlfriends- 2 of which I still remain close to this day (over 10 years later).
Unfortunately, I ended up enjoying Boston TOO much- especially the partying and almost flunked out my first year.  So, I chose to return back to Florida and attend Univ. of Florida (go Gators!), still 4 hours from home.  That is where I ended up getting my undergraduate degree.
So, my advice to you is to just be open to meeting new people and try to approach the situation with a positive outlook.  You will have anxiety and fears- that is very normal.  But, you probably will meet one or two people who will become your life-long friends.  And it is good that you aren't into the party scene.  Don't let anyone sway you into it.  There are TONS of people out there like you.  That is my biggest regret.

You're not alone in the way you feel, trust me!

Congrats on college, everything will work out for you and you will adjust.


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## Krasevayadancer (Jul 25, 2008)

As long as you have a good head on your shoulders you will be fine. Moving away can be scary at first because you are obviously putting yourself way out of your comfort zone, but you will make the adjustment quickly if you focus on a day at a time.

Goodness, I remember freshman year and feeling apprehensive. But I am a naturally outgoing person so before long I was making new friends. Shoot, my whole dorm building would hang out with one another, congregating in each others rooms at all hours playing games, doing homework or just bsing.

Will you be going to a suny?


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## carrieann07 (Jul 25, 2008)

I felt the exact same way last year. I moved from a very very small town in North-central PA, to Charlotte NC. It was a major change and I knew virtually no one. A year later I couldn't be happier. I'll admit the first day or so can and most likely will be hard(homesick wise). Once classes start and you get the feel of things, you'll be too busy to even think about home!


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## Divinity (Jul 25, 2008)

College really was one of the best times of my life.  I met my now husband and some really good friends, had some crazy times and some learning times.  It was just a blast.  It's starting out that's the hard part.  I got paired up with a gal for my roommate just randomly and didn't meet her until moving day.  She was actually a great gal and we became fast friends - that was a huge help.  She had other friends from high school on campus too.  But we started getting involved in our own hobbies and I made other friends in my classes as well as other girls in the dorm.  I wasn't much for sororities or parties - just be careful as everyone just wants to fit in and alcohol is the first thing people turn to.  Relax, be yourself, have fun!


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## M.A.C. head. (Jul 25, 2008)

Awww! Hehehehe, I remember these feelings.

You will be just fine. I call myself a social introvert. I love meeting new people and making friends, but I spend most of my time alone or with few people. 

Just be opened to people, maybe even people that you didn't think you would ever talk to. I made friends right away and that's because I didn't just saunter around, I smiled politely to people, asked people if I could sit with them in the dinning hall. In my dormitory, the roommates would leave their door open and say hello to people walking by LOL We did a meet and greet that way, and guess what, our ENTIRE FLOOR was in tune. We took care of each other. If someone got locked out of their room, they could chill in someone else's. I was kind of the floor mom; I picked up many a hall mate and helped them in their drunken glory LOLOLOL

I'm gonna shut up now. I'm just remembering! College was so much fun for me! And it will be for you too


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## pinkxsushii (Jul 25, 2008)

You sound just like me! Im going into my second year now and last fall I
was VERY nervous, but the good thing about living in the dorms is that your bound to make friends and meet new people. Im not a party person neither and I can be very shy, but luckily my roommate was the opposite so everyone she knew she introduced to me so it worked out well. Also take advantage of all school activities because this is a really good way to meet others and also be involved with school. AAHHHH! All this talk about school has made me excited and I am ready to go back nowwww! Good luck with school and have fun =)


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## Hilly (Jul 25, 2008)

College is amazing! It is your first time to be independent with a little help still. It was a learning experience all around. My fav semesters were my first and very last. Your best memories will be from college!

Where are you going?


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## jamie89 (Jul 25, 2008)

I just finished my freshman year of college, and it was a roller coaster ride. I went from one extreme, to the other. I was never a party girl or anything, and I am usually quite shy and introverted. There will be SO many people feeling exactly the way you are right now, so don't worry! There also will be people who seem like they were MADE for things like this - they will be outgoing, not afraid of anything. Those people can intimidate, but don't let them! Be yourself, and you will find people to be friends with, I promise. I did, and I know that these people will be friends for LIFE. College is exciting, but can be scary. You will meet a ton of new people, some worth keeping in your life, some...not so much 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 I am in a musical theatre program with 15 (now less after the first cut...) other kids, so making friends wasn't too hard, since I'd be around those people ALL the time. I wish I had branched out more into other programs and majors, which is what I plan to do this year. I made a ton of mistakes at school, but I have certainly grown from them. You will learn a lot about yourself. It might seem hard at times, but it will be worth it. I'm not the same person I was a year ago. I won't be the same person I am now in a year 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 It is all a part of growing up. 

It is an amazing experience and will be exciting and new. If you ever want to talk more about school, PM me 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 It's okay to feel nervous or scared, it's only natural! Take it one day at a time my love!


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## newagetomatoz (Jul 26, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *k.a.t* 

 
_Hmm, i'm not really sure how 'college' works in the US...do you always have to 'dorm' there?..._

 
No, you don't have to always dorm, but a lot of people do, even if it is a local college.

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Krasevayadancer* 

 
_ ... Will you be going to a suny?_

 
 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Hilly* 

 
_ ... Where are you going?_

 
I'll be going to SUNY Binghamton. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	





And thank you guys SO MUCH for all your great advice and support!!  You're part of the reason why I love Specktra so much.  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




   I feel better about going away now than when I did after orientation.


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