# Is it really necessary to drink on your 21st birthday?



## BloodMittens (Aug 23, 2008)

I couldn't decide whether this belonged in the chatter or deep thoughts thread. So I just left it here.

Really? Is is necessary to consume alcohol on your 21st birthday? Just because you can?

I'm turning 21 in September, and I am looking forward to it and everything, I'm having my party at a casino with my friends. Anyways, I have never been drunk before, and I have never consumed alcohol except a quarter of a glass of wine this New Year's, but I diluted it with a huge amount of Sprite. 

Everyone in my friend group says that they respect me because I don't get drunk, and I watch after them and such. I always make sure they don't do anything harmful to themselves or others when they are intoxicated, not my responsibility but I would rather take it than see them get hurt in some way. But lately, my boyfriend's best friend is, no offense, an asshole. He keeps saying he is going to "Get You Smashed!!" and saying that the only way for me to enjoy my 21st birthday is to get drunk.

I beg to differ.

I have no desire to get drunk, and this is something my friend's have always seemed to be confused about. They don't seem to understand that I can have a good time anytime, not just my birthday, without getting myself piss drunk and making a complete ass of myself. I have told them time and time again that I don't want to get drunk on my birthday, I might drink after that, but when I am READY to start drinking. Not now.

And now they are starting to "plan" to get me drunk. My boyfriend's best friend told me to "watch" everything I am drinking because he is going to spike everything to get me drunk. I'm just getting SO annoyed with it, I know he's serious too, he would try THAT hard to get to see me drunk. I don't know what else to do, my boyfriend already told him to stop but he just continues to do that crap. I don't know WHY he wants to see me get drunk so badly, I have no desire for it. I have told him already, if I wanted to get drunk I would have years ago with them when they were drinking when they were 17. But no, I always stayed sober and I plan on keeping it that way. 

I just don't know what else to do... it's very irritating.


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## TDoll (Aug 23, 2008)

I agree with you totally.  I'm 24 now, and on my 21st b-day I think I had a glass of wine...lol.   You sound A LOT more mature than your boyfriend's friends.  
Next time when they're devising their "plan" in front of you.  Just tell them to grow up and that you have more respect for yourself than that.


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## amoona (Aug 23, 2008)

I've never drank and never will - on my 21st birthday I actually winded up doing nothing because I got in a big fight with some friends. They're goal was to get me "f*ck up" as they like to say. If people don't respect your wishes then don't share your day with them. Do what makes you happy. If you really want to get smashed and have a blast that way then go for it. If you want to have fun by being sober then do it. If you just want a few drinks then do that.

It really is your choice - no right or wrong. You legally can drink now but nobody should put pressure on you to do so.


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## MACATTAK (Aug 23, 2008)

The right answer is the one you feel comfortable with.  If you want to drink, drink.  If you don't, don't.  It's your birthday, you should do what YOU want to do.  I can't tell if your boyfriend is in on the "plan" too.  If not, ask him to buy your drinks.  If he is, buy your own.


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## Beauty Mark (Aug 23, 2008)

You know, I'd question your boyfriend's choice of best friend if he's that big of an asshole towards you.

Getting someone drunk who doesn't want to be sounds like one of the assiest things you could do to a person. If he spikes your drink and you have probably little alcohol tolerance, you'll probably get sick fast. I hope that asshole plans on helping you to the bathroom and holding back your hair.

Since it's YOUR 21st birthday, why not have you make the plans and guest list? Unless you're friends with this guy, I see no reason why you need to invite him. Turning 21 isn't really a big deal. It's nice to be able to go to bars and have a drink with my friends (I'm the youngest), but to tell you the truth, we have just as much fun going to a nice dessert place and eating pastries and drinking hot chocolate.


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## SkylarV217 (Aug 23, 2008)

I agree, It should be your choice. I to this day have not had a sip of alcohol including my 21st birthday. I don't have anything against it , it's just not what I wanted to do. You don't have to drink if you don't want to. People that try to tell you different are simply immature.


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## dmenchi (Aug 23, 2008)

Please, drinking isn't anything great or to be proud off in the first place- don't let those morans force you into something that you're way above! =) DO WHAT YOU WANT!!!! It's YOUR choice only!!!


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## gigglegirl (Aug 23, 2008)

wow congrats to you for making that decision. seriously, i've been buzzed after having maybe 3 fruity/girly mixed martinis in one evening, but thats it. I've never felt sick or ever been drunk. As I'm nearly 24 apparently I'm weird, but I honestly don't think so.

I have no desire to do that, and its nice to hear that there are quite a few of us like-minded people out there!

Like others have said, do what YOU want, fine a drink or two if you want is fine to celebrate, just yea watch your drink/keep it with you at all times. Have a great time!

I've always thought I'm probably going to want to remember a lot of my younger years, rather than having someone go "Remember that time you got so smashed and did a face plant in my front yard? oh yea good times" to me, not remembering what I did or didn't do isn't a good time!


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## Beauty Mark (Aug 23, 2008)

The worst is if people you don't know remember you for dumb stuff you've done. I've known a few people who've been known as "That girl" by strangers, due to their off-the-wall behaviors from alcohol at parties

I like my drinks, but I also love controlling my actions.


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## Shaquille (Aug 23, 2008)

of course not!! it's more important to drink responsibly..

What I cold suggest is to 'act' like you're drunk.. that way, you give them satisfaction, but inside, you feel more victory.. 

good luck and happy birthday


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## kaliraksha (Aug 23, 2008)

The only thing that is necessary is to make up your own mind and stick by your decision. 

I didn't get drunk on my 21st, but I did have my "yay I can legally buy my own drink" drink at a restaurant. To this day I have friends my age (early to mid 20s) that don't understand why I don't get drunk every weekend with them... it's just not a necessity and I only drink when I'm in the mood or want to not just because I can or there is nothing else to do. Just stick to what you believe or want to do, if they're your friends they will leave you alone about it.


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## purrtykitty (Aug 23, 2008)

I don't think it is.  I went to dinner with my parents and bf and I had one drink.

I think it's really crappy of your bf's friend not to respect your wishes to stay sober.  Is there any way to un-invite him?


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## KikiB (Aug 23, 2008)

I mean in my opinion, it is not necessary to drink, period...I am 20 and have never tried alcohol and I never will, for a variety of reasons. That's just my view for me, personally. However, it is your birthday and if you don't want to drink, it is your choice. Nobody can force you to drink and I would suggest that you do everything in your power to keep your boyfriend's friend away from you because he is just nasty.


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## Briar (Aug 23, 2008)

It is necessary to have fun on your birthday, alcohol does not even have to be a part of that.  If you are one of those fortunate, and wise young people who has learned that getting drunk does not equal fun you're way ahead of much of your generation.  I got rip-roaring drunk once in college and decided it frankly was no fun at all.  I acted stupid and then got sick, no fun.  I say, stick to your guns. Its your birthday, you celebrate the way *you* want to.


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## redambition (Aug 23, 2008)

it's your birthday - do what you want to do!

While i have been very drunk a few times in my life (mostly as a result of underestimating the strength of the drinks i was downing... or thinking i could keep up with people), i don't enjoy getting really drunk either. friends sometimes try to urge me to drink more but mostly they respect my decision.

the guy threatening to spike your drinks is an ass. find a way to ditch him from the invite list if you can.

you don't have to be drunk to have a good time, so don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise.

(by the way, i admire your patience in taking care of your drunken friends. i  can't do it on a regular basis, it drives me insane trying to reason with them.)


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## brokenxbeauty (Aug 23, 2008)

I'd say to definately ditch that guy, un-invite him from your party! Haha, seriously, what an idiot. I know people like that and I just don't understand it.
I've never been drunk either and have no desire to.
It sucks that your friends can't have a good time without getting drunk, but lucky you that you can!


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## BloodMittens (Aug 24, 2008)

Haha. Thanks everyone. Unfortunately... I can't un-invite him because all he would do is create an huge amount of drama over it which is sad but true. I'd rather not deal with his drama crap in the end so I'll just invite him. My boyfriend has made it perfectly clear to him that he will be testing all of my drinks before I drink them, and if he finds any alcohol in any of them, it's gonna go right into his best friend's face 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





Gotta love my man. He's so good to me.


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## ktdetails (Aug 24, 2008)

I didn't drink on my 21st birthday... in fact I spent it with a sober friend.  I'm not really a drinker... I generally can't stand the taste or even smell of alcohol.   The way I see it - if you make a big deal about whether or not you drink then people will make a big deal about their opinion of what you do or don't do.   If you keep your preferences to yourself and simply do the "no thanks" thing... people eventually get over it... hey it means more alcohol for them or more cash in their pockets.   Don't drink just because others want you to - it's not worth it.


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## cre8_yourself (Aug 24, 2008)

i just turned 21 in march and i did not get drunk... the first time i got drunk was about 2 years ago in my sophmore year @ rutgers.. it was horrible lmao... funny.. but horrible.. i vowed from that point on that i wouldnt ever get that drunk.  im the type of person who doesnt like to get drunk.. but i do like to have an occasional drink.. on my bday my friend bought me a drink and some random guy at the club did too ( i watched him buy it dont worry)  but girl its what u want to do.. u do not need to drink to have fun, unfortunately people our age think its cool to suffocate their livers  lol.. im glad ur not that type. anyways enjoy ur bday and if they try and scam u tell them to fuck off . lol


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## snowflakelashes (Aug 24, 2008)

Definately with all the others here in saying that it is your right to chose, and its a personal decision, Where I lived, 18 was the legal drinking age yet I continued to chose not to drink. (I did have religious reasons so for me I felt it wasn't even an option).  Until I was 22, and then I made that choice myself to try it.  And after that I didn't get drunk, I just stuck to getting buzzed.  I think my first drink-to-drunk was when I was 25.  Now I'm not saying that I regret it but it was MY choice and I definately wasn't pressured into it.  Its a personal choice.


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## yodagirl (Aug 24, 2008)

I agree with what the others said that you should do what you want to do...It is your special day after all, not their's 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





I only drank half a margarita on my 21st b-day....of course, I had spent the two years before getting wasted every weekend and was completely burnt out on drinking by the time I became 'legal' 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




...I'm 24 now and drink maybe once or twice a year.


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## lara (Aug 24, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *BloodMittens* 

 
_Haha. *Thanks everyone. Unfortunately... I can't un-invite him because all he would do is create an huge amount of drama over it which is sad but true.* I'd rather not deal with his drama crap in the end so I'll just invite him. My boyfriend has made it perfectly clear to him that he will be testing all of my drinks before I drink them, and if he finds any alcohol in any of them, it's gonna go right into his best friend's face 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Gotta love my man. He's so good to me._

 
I'd personally rather deal with some drama now than have Mr Drink Spike McDaterape at my party.


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## SparklingWaves (Aug 24, 2008)

If it's my Birthing Day,  it's going according to my plans. #1) No "assholes" allowed.   I could not relax and enjoy myself with people with goals of getting me "smashed" without my consent for their own entertainment.


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## Beauty Mark (Aug 24, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *BloodMittens* 

 
_Haha. Thanks everyone. Unfortunately... I can't un-invite him because all he would do is create an huge amount of drama over it which is sad but true. I'd rather not deal with his drama crap in the end so I'll just invite him. My boyfriend has made it perfectly clear to him that he will be testing all of my drinks before I drink them, and if he finds any alcohol in any of them, it's gonna go right into his best friend's face 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Gotta love my man. He's so good to me._

 
Why wouldn't he cause drama if your boyfriend stands up for you? If the boyfriend's best friend is drinking, it'll probably be much worse in public than now.

I wouldn't want someone who is so blatantly disrespectful towards me celebrating my birthday.


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## BloodMittens (Aug 24, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *lara* 

 
_I'd personally rather deal with some drama now than have Mr Drink Spike McDaterape at my party._

 
I lol'd at that. But, he won't try anything now that my boyfriend stepped in, he knows better. 

The guy doesn't respect me for a few reasons, none of which I understand, but I think it's mostly because he's an asshole to me and I don't respect him that he does the same back to me. I have tried countless times to be nice to him and friends with him because WE were friends before I started going out with my boyfriend. But it seems each time he starts to fight with me and get very disrespectful, so I eventually gave up.

So I don't think he will ACTUALLY do anything as long as my boyfriend says "No." and spanks his wrist like you would a child for him to understand. But yes, not only would my boyfriend be slightly disappointed with him not being there, but his girlfriend who is my friend wouldn't be happy either.

Just gotta get him on the same page, and ruin this stupid "plan". 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 Lame


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## *Stargazer* (Aug 24, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *lara* 

 
_I'd personally rather deal with some drama now than have Mr Drink Spike McDaterape at my party._

 
Oh, thank God. I was scrolling and scrolling and trying to figure out why on earth there is even a question about this. 

Seriously. If you don't want to drink and someone is telling you that they are going to FORCE you to drink, why are they even in your sphere of influence? I don't give a rat's ass whose Mom's Dad's best friend's little sister's godson someone is. If they disrespect you and vocally threaten to KEEP disrespecting you, you can't expect anything different. And really, at that point, you've given them permission to treat you the way they want. And "well, my boyfriend will just smack his hand" boggles my mind. This guy thinks this is a funny joke because everyone is responding like it is. 

I'm not even going to touch the fact that you have a boyfriend who let's his "best friend" disrespect you.


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## MAC_Whore (Aug 24, 2008)

Not directed at anyone.  Just my general thoughts on the subject.

I've never been a big drinker or seen the appeal of the 21st b-day (or any day) binge.  I was just excited to turn 21 to have access to different clubs, not to drink.  What's the point of getting hammered?  Is it because you can't wait to have the world's worst headache and a monster barf?  

Most people think you need to do it to have fun, but really, if you need that to have fun: 1) re-examine what you consider fun and 2) work out why you are so vapid and boring that you need booze to have fun...lol.

That reminds me of a guy who was celebrating his 21st b-day on the same night I was celebrating mine (not someone I knew though, we just happened to be at the same club).  I had a drink.  One.  This guy was slamming them down left and right.  

Well, me and my friends had parked near where this guy and his friends had.  As the club closed and people were leaving, I saw drunky 21 year old guy being carried to his car.  His buddies propped him up against the truck, he then pissed himself, waited a moment and threw up on himself.  

Me?  I had a great time that night, went home, got up the next day and went about my biz.  That guy probably wanted to shoot himself.  So who made the better choice?


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## chocolategoddes (Aug 24, 2008)

Of couse, it isn't!

I have a friend who is turning 18 in a couple of months and the first thing she plans to do is get a tattoo and go to a stripclub... all because she can (and probably has wanted to do it for a long time). 
I don't know if this has been said already but some people feel the need to do it because they think they HAVE to in honor of their birthday or for it to seem real because 21st b-day is a big deal in American culture. 
I know I'll probably party it up like somewhere in Vegas and have a couple cocktails when I turn 21 because that's what I want to do and some random guy isn't the one who'll make me do it.


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## concertina (Aug 24, 2008)

If you don't want to, then absolutely don't. No one should force you to and the people coming to your party should respect your wishes. 

However! There is something to be said for having a few drinks, and having a laugh out loud, stupid-good time with friends and have memories that you still talk about and laugh over more than 5 years after college. Is alcohol necessary for that? Well, of course not!....but it sure did make it fun! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I waited until I was 21 to drink and after that, had a blast. Took me a while to learn my tolerance level (that was never a fun time 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 ) but once you learn what works for you, its pretty easy to keep to that. 

Do what feels right for you.


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## preciouscharm (Aug 24, 2008)

It's you're birthday you do whatever you want! Enjoy it the way you want to and just don't let your friends ruin it for ya!


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## Care (Aug 24, 2008)

nope! if you don't feel like getting trashed then don't! it's so much more fun when you actually remember the day and spend it with people who you care about, rather than waking up with a huge hang over and a void in your memory

I think i have 1 margarita when i went out to dinner with my boyfriend for 21st birthday and I don't regret not getting drunk one bit


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## Mabelle (Aug 24, 2008)

no. im not a drnker in any sense of the word. i think within the last.... 7 years ive been drunk twice. tipsy once. I used to drink to get drunk when i was in high school... but i dont really care for alcohol. i dont like the feeling of being out of control ( i dont mean shit face drunk, i mean impaired in any sense). So drinking or getting loaded for my 18th wasnt a big deal.


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## macslut (Aug 24, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *lara* 

 
_...Mr Drink Spike McDaterape...._

 
Brilliant! Can I use that when I talk to 18 year olds about why you don't want to get drunk at the Sigma Cow party?  That is soooooo going on my facebook page! 

You know what?  It is your decision...personal choice.  If your boyfriend's best friend doesn't understand that, tell him to shove it up his ass. I have never had a drink, never been drunk, and have no intention of doing so.  I think you should spend your 21st at a nice restaurant and have a glass of wine with dinner if you choose.  And tell your boyfriend's best friend he is not invited because those sort of places require manners and class. 

Don't ever let anyone pressure you into doing something you are not comfortable with.


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## macslut (Aug 24, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *MAC_Whore* 

 
_Not directed at anyone.  Just my general thoughts on the subject.

I've never been a big drinker or seen the appeal of the 21st b-day (or any day) binge.  I was just excited to turn 21 to have access to different clubs, not to drink.  What's the point of getting hammered?  Is it because you can't wait to have the world's worst headache and a monster barf?  

Most people think you need to do it to have fun, but really, if you need that to have fun: 1) re-examine what you consider fun and 2) work out why you are so vapid and boring that you need booze to have fun...lol.

That reminds me of a guy who was celebrating his 21st b-day on the same night I was celebrating mine (not someone I knew though, we just happened to be at the same club).  I had a drink.  One.  This guy was slamming them down left and right.  

Well, me and my friends had parked near where this guy and his friends had.  As the club closed and people were leaving, I saw drunky 21 year old guy being carried to his car.  His buddies propped him up against the truck, he then pissed himself, waited a moment and threw up on himself.  

Me?  I had a great time that night, went home, got up the next day and went about my biz.  That guy probably wanted to shoot himself.  So who made the better choice?_

 
Doesn't it feel good to go home with your dignity intact?  I remember in college pulling a guy out of the bushes.  His *ahem* "friends" left him there after he passed out. Nice.


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## BloodMittens (Aug 25, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *macslut* 

 
_Doesn't it feel good to go home with your dignity intact?  I remember in college pulling a guy out of the bushes.  His *ahem* "friends" left him there after he passed out. Nice. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
Oh lord. Poor guy, and I bet his friends thought it was "funny"?






 Lame.


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## Tashona Helena (Aug 25, 2008)

To be honest, the first time I got drunk was about a couple months ago, and altho i'm underage, I feel that it didn't make that nite anymore special, I mean yea we went up to Philly to party...but I couldn't get in the club anyway (my friend, who was sober, drove & walked around with me).  So don't let him pressure you into getting completely drunk.  Been there, it's not cute.  It's your 21st...you want to remember everything, do what you want, and say what you mean.


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## BloodMittens (Aug 28, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Tashona Heléna* 

 
_To be honest, the first time I got drunk was about a couple months ago, and altho i'm underage, I feel that it didn't make that nite anymore special, I mean yea we went up to Philly to party...but I couldn't get in the club anyway (my friend, who was sober, drove & walked around with me).  So don't let him pressure you into getting completely drunk.  Been there, it's not cute.  It's your 21st...you want to remember everything, do what you want, and say what you mean._

 
Thanks! To me it just seems like a huge respect issue. Some people just don't seem to respect me at all 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 Lame


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## florabundance (Aug 28, 2008)

Drinking should never be a "necessity". 

To me, it's something you do if you enjoy it, if you like it. I'm a big fan of mixers, shots and so on, so i will have a few - and i wont lie, it does help me loosen up a little! But then again, i'm someone who cannot hold my drink very well, i get drunk super easy, so I have to be careful. It all depends on how much you, as an individual, can handle.

However, it is NOT imperative for having a good time at all. I can't stand when I hear people saying like "what are you doing tonight", "getting drunk". It seems so completely loser-ish.


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## k.a.t (Aug 28, 2008)

Ugh, i hate it when people constantly tell me i should get drunk. I usually get told this at parties, but like i don't need to drink to have fun. I'm naturally hyper and crazy so i don't need to get intoxicated lol 

I think it's so sad when people NEED to drink in order to have fun, if you enjoy drinking and you know your limits that's cool but i mean when people think that they can only have fun if they drink...that's just well kind of sad and makes you wonder just how boring they are normally lol

I have never been drunk, and don't plan to either, simply because 1) i know that i probably won't tolerate it very well and would therefore not enjoy it and 2) because i know i don't need it to have a good time.

What really bothers me is when people drink for the sake of drinking, just to seem "cool" - i think that's so pathetic. 

Story of pathetic drinkers: When i was in school i knew this girl (who i used to be friends with long before) and she and her friends would like get together every friday to get so drunk they were literally pissed out of their heads (they would then boast about it in school) and one time this girl got so drunk that she passed out in the street when she was out with her "friends" and some of them just left her while other 2 girls came back to help her. Anyway she was actually taken to hospital because she had basically poisoned herself and was in hospital for about 2-3 days. What amazes me is that all her friends (including her) were laughing about it the next day.


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## florabundance (Aug 28, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *k.a.t* 

 
_ Story of pathetic drinkers: When i was in school i knew this girl (who i used to be friends with long before) and she and her friends would like get together every friday to get so drunk they were literally pissed out of their heads (they would then boast about it in school) and one time this girl got so drunk that she passed out in the street when she was out with her "friends" and some of them just left her while other 2 girls came back to help her. Anyway she was actually taken to hospital because she had basically poisoned herself and was in hospital for about 2-3 days. What amazes me is that all her friends (including her) were laughing about it the next day._

 
This kind of stuff worries me because it's becoming such a big part of British (or at least where i'm from in London) culture. I've found that a lot of people I grew up with take this kind of route - it's almost the norm.


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## k.a.t (Aug 28, 2008)

^ yep. Well that was the norm in my school...luckily i was smart enough not to get sucked into that way of thinking. But i feel sorry for the many other teenagers/young people who think that this is ok and that it won't have any consequences.


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## M.A.C. head. (Aug 28, 2008)

People said the same thing to me, even more so because my baby was due at the beginning of the year and they thought it be a good post-pregnancy/birthday thing.

My daughter was born exactly a month before my 21st bday. I could have gotten drunk, but I didn't drink at all, because I was breastfeeding. It didn't bother me any. I had a nice little celebration with my parents, siblings, husband, and my new baby girl. BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVER!


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## sharkbytes (Aug 28, 2008)

My personal opinion (and I realize it probably isn't a popular one) is that if a person doesn't have a desire to drink when they're by themselves (meaning: they like alcohol, the taste, etc.) then why would they feel the need to drink just because they're in a social situation where others will be drinking?  I think a lot of drinking is the result of pressure to fit in, when other people who ARE drinking see someone who isn't, they often feel uncomfortable and try to encourage it.  


I'm not generalizing by the way, there's plenty of folks who like a cocktail now and then and couldn't care less about what other people are doing.  If that's the case, then sure, have a drink or two and toast your special day.  But if you only want to drink because it's expected, I'd recommend thinking about why other people are having such an influence.


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## baybooty (Aug 28, 2008)

yay i'm so glad i'm not the only one.

i turned 21 last month and didn't drink at all. not the night before, the night of, or the day after. my boyfriend & i actually went to sunsplash & spent the entire day together 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




alcohol is okay to me but i don't enjoy it all that much? on occassion i will have half of my bf's beer but that's rare too. on the other hand he's 5 years older than me and his buddies are always at my house drinking and he does too but he's tolerable and such but yeaah i don't need alcohol to have fun. i have a natural high on life


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## k.a.t (Aug 28, 2008)

^ ITA with you. 

(oops sorry this was directed at sharbytes' post)


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## duckduck (Aug 28, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *BloodMittens* 

 
_Everyone in my friend group says that they respect me because I don't get drunk, and I watch after them and such. I always make sure they don't do anything harmful to themselves or others when they are intoxicated, not my responsibility but I would rather take it than see them get hurt in some way._

 
So first and foremost, you are a complete sweetheart to keep an eye on a bunch of drunkards without judging them or anything - they are lucky to have such a good friend!

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *BloodMittens* 

 
_But lately, my boyfriend's best friend is, no offense, an asshole. He keeps saying he is going to "Get You Smashed!!" and saying that the only way for me to enjoy my 21st birthday is to get drunk._

 
Aww, how sweet. In his tiny caveman brain, he is attempting to extend the gift of "fun" to you. Or at least what he considers fun.

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *BloodMittens* 

 
_I have no desire to get drunk, and this is something my friend's have always seemed to be confused about. They don't seem to understand that I can have a good time anytime, not just my birthday, without getting myself piss drunk and making a complete ass of myself. I have told them time and time again that I don't want to get drunk on my birthday, I might drink after that, but when I am READY to start drinking. Not now._

 
See, I don't like fish. Sometimes people offer me fish, and I turn them down. Some people persist "but this is really good fish!" "you'll like it if you try it". Once again, I refuse, saying that I am not interested in eating fish. At this point, if they drop the subject, there is no reason for me to be annoyed or offended. Interestingly, some people are STILL insistent on the fish even after this. I have spent entire meals arguing with people over the fact that I do not want any freaking fish. Not only is it completely miserable to sit around having to justifying myself, but it's a waste of time, because nothing they say is going to make me change my mind. 

Now I know you don't have the advantage of saying "I've tried being drunk and didn't like it" like I do with fish, but all the same people need to respect that boundary. I personally quite like to drink, but I know it's not for everyone. While I might offer you a drink due to forgetfulness, I would never pressure you to take it after you said no. 

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *BloodMittens* 

 
_And now they are starting to "plan" to get me drunk. My boyfriend's best friend told me to "watch" everything I am drinking because he is going to spike everything to get me drunk. I'm just getting SO annoyed with it, I know he's serious too, he would try THAT hard to get to see me drunk. I don't know what else to do, my boyfriend already told him to stop but he just continues to do that crap. I don't know WHY he wants to see me get drunk so badly, I have no desire for it. I have told him already, if I wanted to get drunk I would have years ago with them when they were drinking when they were 17. But no, I always stayed sober and I plan on keeping it that way. 

I just don't know what else to do... it's very irritating._

 
Yeah, they probably don't mean to be annoying - from their point of view, more fun is had when drinking is involved, and they want you to be having fun. Some people just don't get that drinking and getting drunk is not for everyone, every second of every day. I would definitely thank them for wanting so much to include you in the drinking, and let them know that if you ever decide to start drinking, they will be the first to know. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Oh, and on the subject of getting drunk on the 21st birthday - do you also have to smoke a whole pack of cigarettes on your 18th? Just because you can do something doesn't necessarily make it a good idea.


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## ashleydenise (Aug 29, 2008)

It's sooo not necessary.. If you can have fun w/o it, then don't bother!! lol I didn't have a single sip on my 21st!


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## BarrelOfDonkeys (Aug 29, 2008)

I didn't drink on my 21st birthday, 'course I'm from Canada though so the big "gotta get drunk" birthday around here is the 19th but I didn't drink then either. It annoys me when people think I have to be drunk in order to have fun, cause then I end up getting left out of bar hopping plans just cause I'm not a big drinker. It's been over four years since I turned 19 and in total I've only had I think 14 (might've been 15) drinks since then, never more than two in one night. I don't like alcohol so I'd much rather buy a bottle of pop or something for like half the price.


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## xsmittyxo (Aug 29, 2008)

ill be turning 21 on september 2nd and i dont plan on drinking at all, im not a real big fan of drinking, i just wanna go out and have a good time with friends, and i can totally understand friends trying to pressure you into.


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## sonnebutti (Aug 29, 2008)

hmmm.. in america you can get a tattoo and go to stripclubs at 18 but you cant drink until you turn 21?  and you can drive when you re 16.. here you can do EVERYTHING when you turn 18, but I actually think that it's more "safe" to forbid drinking until you re 21.. there are so many car accidents with young people who drink and drive here in portugal, it's sad


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## NicksWifey (Aug 30, 2008)

I had a jagerbomb on my 21st and that was it. I was at home having cake and ice cream with my family. I didn't get sloshed or anything. To be honest, I drank waaaay more underaged than I do now legally. 
I think what made me happiest about being 21 was being around the people that I love the most and us all having a good time and eating out. I didn't even drink when we went out to eat. To me, it wasn't all about the booze.


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## seonmi (Aug 30, 2008)

I'm turning 21 in December and my friends were talking about buying me drinks on that day. I was like humm, ok. Honestly, I hate my birthday. It's always in the final week of the semester when my friends and I kill ourselves studying for finals. And then everyone leaves for Christmas break. So I highly doubt we will have time to go to the bar and drink.

I don't think it is necessary to drink on the 21st birthday. It's all up to you. I personally want to go to a club or bar having a drink or two for my birthday because I've been to one lol. I'm not a big drinker anyway. I rarely drink and if I do, I stop when I get tipsy. I do enjoy getting a bit tipsy because it helps me loosen up but getting drunk, doing stupid stuff, and getting sick is no fun. Some people that I know at school, they drink every freaking night and I wonder why they can't put their time in better use once in a while.


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## BloodMittens (Sep 5, 2008)

XD

I actually had my first drink (besides New Year's and crap) during my friend's birthday party. It was a Mike's Hard Lime, and the only reason I actually took it is because I LOVED how it tasted, she got me to try it and I loved it.

Of course I was extremely responsible about it, I sipped on the same drink ALL night (about 6 hours) and put it down if I felt a bit dizzy. All I know is I definitely relaxed a bit but I wasn't drunk.

(Also, I didn't know I was preggo at the time, so don't kill me D
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Still, never gonna get drunk! :O Gonna be responsible always... and I still think vodka is icky and I don't NEED alcohol to have a good time!


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## nibjet (Sep 11, 2008)

I'm 26 and still haven't tasted any alcohol. On my 21st birthday or otherwise! Not because of religious reasons or anything like that, I just have no interest.  Plus I'm way clumsy, and think a TON of snarky things that definitely don't need to be said out loud.  Alcohol can enhance both of those things, lol


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## Tinkee-Belle (Sep 11, 2008)

haha I think not drinking is a good idea... on my 21st I got wasted and was kicked outta the bar at.... 9:30!!!!!! For trying to fight the coat check girl.  Classy, classy! Right before that I spent $100 buying a round of shots for complete strangers.  Not my finest moment


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## pumpkincat210 (Sep 12, 2008)

Of course not! I was pregnant when i turned 21 and didn't drink.  Sadly i'd had drinks wayyy before then so by the time I was legally old enough to drink i wasn't interested in it anymore.   Of course it's everyone's own personal decision, but I think everyone should at least try alcohol once in their lives even if they don't get drunk.  My in laws have never touched alcohol and they are quite a strange bunch. but to each their own.


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## BloodMittens (Sep 13, 2008)

Like I added before. I only had one drink about two weeks ago, and in moderation is good enough for me. I don't need to drink to have fun, but if I feel like having something or trying something I might. But again, in *moderation*, no reason to be smashed and making a fool of myself on my 21st XD


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## xxsgtigressxx (Sep 13, 2008)

I dont think your friends are trying to be jerks, im sure its that thats how they enjoyed their 21st birthdays so they want you to enjoy it as much.  But there really is only one answer here, if you dont feel comfortable, just dont.  Just say no, and thats it.  Dont let there be conversation about it just say I appreciate the fact that you want me to have a good time, and I will have a good time, without drinking.  Thats it, end of discussion. No one can make you do anything, so just stay strong and do what you feel is right for you.


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## ooshkey (Sep 15, 2008)

I believe the choice is really yours.  There's really no need to drink on your 21st birthday if you don't want to.  Personally, I did drink on mine and I paid for it the next day.  Again, it was a choice that I made.

Don't let anyone tell you that you have to drink just because you can.  You do what you feel is right for you.


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