# Has the internet hurt your self esteem?



## Mizz.Coppertone (Mar 23, 2009)

Or has it helped it at all?

I find a spend alot of time browsing pics of other girls,models... n ect. and I think it's hurt the way I look at myself. I'm comparing myself to the pictures alot now and I feel like back when I was younger and never really used the internet, I had a way better self esteem. I didn't have millions of freaking beautiful girls to compare myself to like there is online.

How about you?


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## Wicked_Prayer (Mar 23, 2009)

I agree with you completely. Even though its just the internet and no one is supposed to take it seriously. It just makes you feel bad when you have access to all these images of beautiful girls all around the world.


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## TISH1124 (Mar 23, 2009)

No I can't say that it has.....I see beautiful half naked women in Hot Texas everyday and it doesn't really phase me. I guess I am comfortable in my own skin and I have never really wanted to be or look like someone I am not. It does however motivate me to get my butt up and go to the gym so that I can stay fit and healthy looking and feeling. I just embrace my good and not so good parts and love me for me. I never compare myself to other women because I know we are all unique and beautiful in different ways.


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## User93 (Mar 23, 2009)

I don't think internet hurted my mind. Modern life and playboy vision of beauty definitely did. But not internet... I keep comparing myself to women on tv, on the streets, in the magazines.

Wish one day i become like Tish and it won't bother me :/


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## Shimmer (Mar 23, 2009)

I agree with Tish.  One of the things I've found helps is that I'm pretty constantly doing things that involve me being an active and strong person.  I've found things that make me feel good about myself and I focus on them.


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## gigglegirl (Mar 23, 2009)

I think its helped my self esteem. I found I've more heavily surfed the internet when I started university, and I became interested in makeup. I have to say, as a heavier person, I really feel my confidence has increased, I'm beginning to know myself more and I've learned and continue to learn so much (from news articles, forums ie specktra) as well as make great friends with similar interests. 

There are people I admire and would like to improve things about myself, but I don't think it hurts my self esteem, I'm just trying to get better for myself.


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## cheapglamour (Mar 23, 2009)

In a way it has hurt me, and I thought I was the only one who felt like this. lol. 

But it has because I see GORGEOUS girls online, and sometimes I think oh.. hey I don't look like that :/

but in a way I guess it has helped.. just because you see some not so good looking people either. And sadly, that helps you realize hey I am pretty.


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## LMD84 (Mar 23, 2009)

looking at pictures of super hot models and you specktra ladies doesn't hurt my self esteem. purely because i know i'm not amazingly pretty and i know i don't have a good body. but i do have plenty of good features that i bet half of these models would kill to have - my boobs for example!! so i appriciate how beautiful people are in fotd's, random model pictures but i know that everybody is made to be different so it really doesn't bother me.

the one way that the internet has hurt me and my self esteem was that i found a hate blog my husbands sister made about me. needless to say i was in tears at the end reading on how she hated me, thought i was ugly, looked like a manatee(!) and just verious lies and other crap. that hurt because she always acted so nice to me so i had no idea how she really felt. to this day i have no idea why she hates me so much. it sucks because she's lost her brother now... hubby won't speak to her unless she says sorry and explains herself... which i doubt she ever will.


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## kaliraksha (Mar 23, 2009)

Wow, LMD84, that is just so childish and hurtful of her.

To the original question, the internet hasn't lowered my self esteem. I can look at someone and admire their beauty for what it is. I just can't get all tied up on things I can't control. Either they have great genetics and lucky them, or they work hard for their looks and then they deserve to enjoy them. 

I honestly believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Yes, there are things that are on average more attractive to people, but it's the same reason you can't just choose best looking female in the world... it's based on opinions.


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## Willa (Mar 23, 2009)

It did in the past, it sometimes still does.

I used to go on this french board where a lot of mean people hanged out. I ignored them as much as I could because I liked going there, but when they made a page online about me, it was too much. It hurts a lot knowing people laught about you... They say I'm a fat and ugly b*tch, and some other name calling. 

I know I'm not veeeeerry pretty, that I'm fat, I'm all aware of these facts 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 I guess they needed a victim and I was there at the right time. I'm usually not the type to react to this kind of childish behavior, but when you're down and it happens, it can reach you even if you don't want to. Anyway, I left this board months ago, ignoring them and their immaturity. They found new people to laugh about.

I know you can't please everybody, and that some people (even here) may not like me, but it's sometimes bringing tears to my eyes realizing that people don't really notice my answers/questions... I may take this too seriously, I don't know. Let's hope it's just a phase, because every little details like these makes me sad 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




/end of baby crying.


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## aziajs (Mar 23, 2009)

It doesn't really phase me that often.  I more so just enjoy looking at beautiful people and it inspires me.  Sometimes it's the makeup, sometimes it's the hair, sometimes it's the outfit or accessories.  I love to see how people wear things and pull themselves together.  Sometimes I just look at how amazing someone's shape is and the work it takes to look like that.  I can't say I really feel bad about myself as a result.  More than anything it just makes me want to do better and look better so I can represent myself better.


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## leenybeeny (Mar 23, 2009)

It has never hurt how I felt about myself physically.. in fact, in that regard it has made me feel better about myself.  Being a part of groups like this where everyone is so positive towards each other has such a wonderful impact on how I feel about myself.  

The only time it has hurt my self esteem would be in some forums where I have tried to participate, but have found them to be very cliquey and I have not been "accepted" for whatever reason.  But then I just have to suck it up and move on.


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## abbyquack (Mar 23, 2009)

The internet hasn't affected me-if anything being on here I feel much better about myself. I love how all you ladies (and gents!) on specktra are so encouraging and sweet! They always make me feel so good about myself- which I honestly can say I don't find in every online makeup community.

But I will admit that when I watch tv more frequently, specifically shows with hot women on MTV VH1 or E!, etc, I feel a lot fatter than I am! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 I always feel like I need to go the gym and plastic surgeon!! j/k

And LMD84, your sis-in-law sounds like, excuse me, a biatch!! I can't believe she was so immature to do that, and you deffo don't look like a manatee (WTF I laughed so hard when I read that b/c it is entirely senseless and untrue!)!!! In laws can be so crazyyy!!


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## ClaireAvril (Mar 23, 2009)

Nope.


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## MissResha (Mar 23, 2009)

nope, not at all.

the main reason is because i am a photoshop master and i know that just about any model or whatever that i see, has been shopped to oblivion lol. and i'm too busy admiring. i've accepted my flaws, they dont stop me from living and loving and being loved.


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## ImMACnificent (Mar 23, 2009)

I don't have to look at other females to make me feel insecure. I am hard enough on myself as it is.

I have a really hard time taking compliments. 
I have found myself almost refusing a compliment....for example, "Oh Austin your make up looks gorgeous today, or "your hair looks great today!" And I will be like "Really? I didnt think so, I didnt spend much time on it!" It's like GOSH DARNIT why cant I just say THANK YOU SO MUCH and go on.
I am my own worst critic and always will be. But Im working on it.

But I will say that the internet is harder because it's easier for people to attack you as opposed to in person. Like some random chat room person can call you ugly, fat, stupid, etc rather than a random person in a grocery store. So, in that sort, I think it is easier for people to find easy targets online.


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## leenybeeny (Mar 23, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *ImMACnificent* 

 
_I don't have to look at other females to make me feel insecure. I am hard enough on myself as it is.

I have a really hard time taking compliments. 
I have found myself almost refusing a compliment....for example, "Oh Austin your make up looks gorgeous today, or "your hair looks great today!" And I will be like "Really? I didnt think so, I didnt spend much time on it!" It's like GOSH DARNIT why cant I just say THANK YOU SO MUCH and go on.
I am my own worst critic and always will be. But Im working on it.

But I will say that the internet is harder because it's easier for people to attack you as opposed to in person. Like some random chat room person can call you ugly, fat, stupid, etc rather than a random person in a grocery store. So, in that sort, I think it is easier for people to find easy targets online._

 
Learning to accept compliments has helped my self esteem so much over the years.  Saying thank you is like saying - yes I am.  And the more you say Yes I am, the more you will know YOU ARE


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## ImMACnificent (Mar 23, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *leenybeeny* 

 
_Learning to accept compliments has helped my self esteem so much over the years.  Saying thank you is like saying - yes I am.  And the more you say Yes I am, the more you will know YOU ARE 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	





_

 

Its true. I need to work on that. I am trying. It stems from having an overly critical mother growing up. But she is my best friend.


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## chocolategoddes (Mar 23, 2009)

It depends on the sites you're going on.
I use the internet to browse through horrible myspace pictures and bad porn. So stuff like that actually brings my self-esttem up. But I understand what you mean.


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## melozburngr (Mar 23, 2009)

There are times when it does and times where it doesnt, just the same as in real life. 

 In a perfect world, we would come in all shapes and sizes, and everyone would be content and happy to be who and what they are.  Unfortunately, its not a perfect world, and we are all bombarded by the media, magazines, celeb images, etc. who show us pictures of desirable celebs who weigh half of what an average woman weighs in America, and imply that we must be overweight if you can't see our ribs. Okay, exaggerating, but seriously, the models anymore are rail-thin.  I'd love to see clothes in Vogue that would look good on the average person. I'm 5'7", 126 lb.  I'm not thin, I'm not overweight, I'm average...but I digress. Anyway, back to the point...

There are loads of sites, forums, etc. that aren't very accepting, or very constructive with their criticism, just as there are critical people in every day life, be it strangers, co-workers, siblings, friends, whatever.  Whether they voice to you that your clothes don't match, or your hair is frizzy, or that you have weird teeth, boobs, legs, feet, they're there whether online or in person, and they'll always be there trying to knock you down a peg...whether unintentionally (through great looks, incredible talent, making you jealous, etc) or purposely.

HOWEVER...there are just as many people that want to brighten your day and make you feel great about yourself, even if you aren't a perfect size 2, or have amazing silken hair or perfect skin.  The internet is surprisingly great for that, allowing you to interact with people from all over the country, even the world, and show yourself. Take Specktra for example, there is always someone to give thanks for a post, or a sweet comment for a FOTD they like, or a cool pic posted in Say Cheese.  The type of women/men on here boost each other's confidence, make each other walk with their head held higher, and generally just make someone's day.


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## urbanD0LL (Mar 24, 2009)

oh wow , i thought i'd be the only one but yeah it has, and it also made me take more care of myself trying to be on that "pretty girl , model" status . i was just looking at pictures of that girl amber rose, and every guy i know is like in love with her , i spend my time on blogs , watching hip hop videos lol ... so i don't know , it probably did me more bad than it did me good I THINK . and facebook is the worst because you come across GORGEOUS people and they live like 15 minutes away from you ?! im like okay wtf is wrong with me ... i have loooow self esteem , sometimes people even think im conceited which is quite funny to me but im really not , i dont let it show but im sure some ppl are able to see it .


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## Fataliya (Mar 24, 2009)

However I feel about myself, is mostly how I've always felt about myself. Whether it's something good or bad. I've always wanted bigger boobs and a flatter stomach. Looking at other women doesn't make me feel "less than", or "more than".

What it DID do is help me realize that my ex is not a good person and that I wasn't in a good relationship.

I'm glad I suffered through 10 years of misery, but I'm also very glad that I left.


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## kittykit (Mar 24, 2009)

No. I'm comfortable with myself and I admire women who have a pretty face and better body. But it has never hurt my self-esteem.


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## -moonflower- (Mar 24, 2009)

I think the internet has helped mine. Posting makeup on sites like Specktra and outfits on Chictopia has improved my self-esteem a lot. Firstly, the CC has helped me improve my makeup skills (I used to be seriously awful when it came to makeup) and it definitely helps my self-confidence when I get nice comments from people. In real life I don't really tend to get comments on my makeup, my friends just think of it as something I'm good at and don't bother mentioning it unless it's particularly good (or bad!). 

I like how online you see people of all different ages, colours and sizes, even on fashion and beauty sites. Whereas in magazines and on tv you really only get the tall, thin, white but fake tanned 'ideal'. Seeing real people online has helped me realise that you can be thin/fat, short/tall, pale/dark... or in between, and still be pretty.


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## Simply Elegant (Mar 24, 2009)

No because no matter how beautiful someone seems, they all have something that they don't like about themselves. I guess it's like a common bond and it doesn't make me feel bad about myself about the few things I don't like. I think it helps to accept yourself as you are and continually make improvements to feel better.


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## abbyquack (Mar 24, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *ImMACnificent* 

 
_I have a really hard time taking compliments. 
I have found myself almost refusing a compliment....for example, "Oh Austin your make up looks gorgeous today, or "your hair looks great today!" And I will be like "Really? I didnt think so, I didnt spend much time on it!" It's like GOSH DARNIT why cant I just say THANK YOU SO MUCH and go on.
I am my own worst critic and always will be. But Im working on it._

 
I'm the same way! I always shrug them off and be like thanks but I don't think so, and so this past couple weeks I've been trying hard to accept compliments. And also, I always feel bad asking employees at stores to help me out to get me a different size or try a blush on me, etc. I always say sorry for some reason, as if I am inconveniencing them but I realized that I can't apologize anymore for something that is their job! So now I just say thank you instead. It's hard b/c I always catch myself going into that mode again.


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## malvidia (Mar 24, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *-moonflower-* 

 
_I like how online you see people of all different ages, colours and sizes, even on fashion and beauty sites. Whereas in magazines and on tv you really only get the tall, thin, white but fake tanned 'ideal'. Seeing real people online has helped me realise that you can be thin/fat, short/tall, pale/dark... or in between, and still be pretty._

 
<-- i so agree!


i think my self-esteem really improved using the internet. seeing pics (here on specktra and on other forums and sites) helped me realise that there are so many different kind of beauties that it is fairly silly to stop at a stereotyped ideal. a real eye-opener for me, i learned to love my own kind of beauty. of not to mention the fact that i improved my makeup skills so much that i can be pretty AND colourful 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			






yay for all types of pretty


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## SparklingWaves (Mar 27, 2009)

I will admit the hardcore marketing techniques on the net encourages me to spend more money.


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## iadoremac (Mar 28, 2009)

I think if the internet hurts a persons self esteem that person did not have much of a self esteem to begin with. Just my personal opinion


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## obentick (Mar 28, 2009)

To speak out of my heart and the truth, I lost my self- esteem when I got married to this guy and he used to be calling me names, bringing me down and look at the other girls( for example in por5) and would not even look at my way. 
On the other side I dont look bad at all and I know and other guys have told me that I am a good looking female but let me tell you if I would be in front of my husband I would feel like I am nothing and that was the time when the internest also was damaging my self-esteem too, because I was comparing myself to them and what they have and I dont have.


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## Frosting (Apr 2, 2009)

Nah.

For one thing, I don't hang out on parts of the internet where people are nasty. Life is too short and I have too little free time to waste it on that. And if you look hard enough, you can find warm and friendly communities out there.

Secondly, it's thanks to the internet that I've learned to do my makeup better and that has given me a lot of confidence!

There are pretty people out there everywhere, and I sure see lots of them out and about here in Austin, but their attractiveness doesn't diminish my own. Even if I ran into Miss Universe, I always know that I have something she doesn't--my face! Nobody else can ever look just like me or take away my individuality. I have cornered the market on looking just like myself!

Also, everyone's definition of pretty or attractive is different. My husband thinks Angelina Jolie is unpleasant looking. I think he's bananas, but it's proof positive that different people are attracted to different things so it's not worth your time to get caught up in someone else's idea of it.

Make the decision to see yourself as your own unique brand of beautiful and own it! You deserve to have that and never let anyone take it from you.


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## mtrimier (Apr 2, 2009)

hasn't hurt my self esteem, but has totally killed my attention span. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



(no comment about my wallet.)


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## blindpassion (Apr 2, 2009)

I think its helped me. Especially being part of such a caring and supporting community like specktra.


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## claralikesguts (Apr 2, 2009)

both.
when looking at FOTDs and all of the beautiful girls here, i instantly get jealous because their skin is fabulous and their makeup skills are excellent and etcetera, and i find myself thinking 'why can't i be that pretty? why can't my skin look flawless? why can't i blend that well?'. but when i post a FOTD and read all the replies, i definitely feel a lot better about myself because everyone here is so kind.


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## cupcake_x (Apr 3, 2009)

^caralikeguts, shut up, you! You're so gorgeous... I always love your FOTDs too.

I don't think the internet hurt my self esteem... Photo shop did! Unfortunatly, a lot of the stuff online is just really good photoshopping.
But nah, I know what you mean. I'll be on the internet and see such amazingly gorgeous women and I'm like "Oh man I gotta get to the gym!"


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## Mizz.Coppertone (Apr 4, 2009)

I didn't really mean the internet as in formus because I know this one is full of friendly, positive posters, I just meant how easy it is to look up tons n tons of beautiful women online! When I was younger I wasn't around piles of playboys or whatever lol so having such instant access to all the perfect pictures u could imagine is hard to deal with sometimes lol. I have my days where I'm like ugghh(like the day I posted this thread lol) and other days I'm totally content with myself. I just know for sure I'd be more confident if I stopped browsing photoshopped models but it's hard not to online.


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## Sabrunka (Apr 5, 2009)

The only problems I've had with the internet was having jerks call me ugly, or claim im fat and a stupid bitch and stuff (saying im fat without seeing pictures obviously lmfao...)  These comments usually come from in-humane forums or from comments on youtube and wherever else.  I sometimes look at gorgeous girls though and think *wow I wish my boobs/face/lips/hair were like that*.  But what can I do.. I am who I am!


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## BeccalovesMAC (Apr 6, 2009)

ok sometimes it hurts my self esteem,  I'm 30 with two kids and two dogs.  I really don't make time for myself.  I have tons of mac but don't really get to wear it that often(I work from home). When I see beautiful girls posting their looks and looking all hot, I get a little jealous.  I know that I'm not fugly (ok not really) but, I wish I put myself first sometimes.  You feel me?


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