# I'm Kicking My Own Ass and I Could Use Some Help....



## kuuipo1207 (Aug 20, 2007)

Alright, so I'm finally going to stop being a big chicken and just get this out in the open already. I've been struggling with my weight pretty much all my life from my mom telling me to always suck in my stomach and stand up straight, to her taking me to Jenny Craig when I was 10 (actually we were going for my dad and after they finished talking with him about it, she looked at me and asked the lady "Is there a program that you guys have that I can put my daughter on?"...I was 10. 10!!), to battling bulemia in high school/college, to gaining weight (a LOT of weight) after getting married, and I'm fed up with it. I've tried everything from the Atkins, to the South Beach, to diet pills like Hydroxycut and Trimspa, to Slim-fast shakes, to practical starvation by eating only one meal a day. Stupid? Yes, I know. Needless to say I'm fed up with myself, my weight, my eating habits, and my lazy ass. 
Since this year has started I've gone on a diet and off a diet, which I need to realize that I am not "dieting". What I initially am doing is changing my lifestyle. I've been trying to choose healthier foods, eat smaller portions, and cook with less fats. After a couple of weeks or so, however, I'll have that one brownie, then want another one, and soon enough, I've failed myself, because I think I've failed because I slipped up. But I'm only human! Shit, I tell people this all the time when they make mistakes! Why the hell should I be any different?!? 
I've been slacking on the exercise part, but I'm going to to start kicking myself in the @$$ and get myself to the gym. If I don't go to the gym, I'm popping in a damn DVD, cause God only knows how many f'in workout DVD's I have from Tae-bo to Power 90 to Pilates to Yoga. 
I figure this is how I will keep myself accountable. I've always done this alone, for the most part, so if I failed, it was always only me that would be disappointed, and it would always only be me that would have to know that I "failed". I've been debating about posting a thread about this issue cause it's always been a personal issue with me, but I have come to see that 99% of you guys and gals here on specktra are a great group of supporters and motivators. I've always felt like I've needed to set up this great image of "I'm happy with who I am", "I don't have a problem" image...which for the most part, I am happy with who I am...as a person. My weight, however, is something that I always let get me down. Sure people have told me that I "carry" my weight well. Hell my dad thought I weighted 150 in high school, when in reality I weighed 200. My husband's cousin guessed my weight was 235 when I was really 267. But that's besides the point....
So here's my announcement to all you specktralites out there...and even to myself as a wake up call.  I am not going on a diet! I am not working out "just" to lose weight. I *am* changing my lifestyle and my eating habits. I *am* going to work out cause I want to have a healthy body that will last me well into old age, and cause I will be happier as a person.I have had two members of my family who have had gastric-bypasses. I *do not* want to have to resort to that. I *will* do this the right way and I will succeed at it. If I slip up, I will realize that I am only human, and it was only that one instance...it is not something that my entire life should be affected by! And I am doing this for me, to make me feel better about myself, to make me feel better, period. 
I just need some help every now and then with a couple of swift kicks in the ass. So when I become lax in posting or anything, can someone hold me accountable? Please? TIA.

BTW, I started this last week on 08/12/2007

Starting weight: 281
Current weight: 277
Goal weight: 160-165
Total Loss of ----120-125 lbs. 


Now to make sure I actually keep up my end of this bargin and hit "submit new thread"......


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## Shimmer (Aug 20, 2007)

Congrats for deciding to  make the changes!


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## KAIA (Aug 21, 2007)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *kuuipo1207* 

 
_ So here's my announcement to all you specktralites out there...and even to myself as a wake up call.  I am not going on a diet! I am not working out "just" to lose weight. I *am* changing my lifestyle and my eating habits. I *am* going to work out cause I want to have a healthy body that will last me well into old age, and cause I will be happier as a person.I have had two members of my family who have had gastric-bypasses. I *do not* want to have to resort to that. I *will* do this the right way and I will succeed at it. If I slip up, I will realize that I am only human, and it was only that one instance...it is not something that my entire life should be affected by! And I am doing this for me, to make me feel better  _

 
You have NO idea how happy I am to hear somebody saying that, really, that's awesome! and that's how you have to think to really DO IT. For yourself, for your better, for you to be happy.
I just want you to know, that we are here for you!, I'm gonna be following all your fitness journal...
Kisses
Kaia.


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## MACATTAK (Aug 21, 2007)

Congrats on your decision!  It sounds like you are really ready & that's what's going to keep you motivated.  We are all here for you & I admire that you put everything out on the table.  Keep us all updated!  You CAN do it


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## kuuipo1207 (Aug 21, 2007)

Thanks for encouragement!  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 I've had this feeling before where I was all motivated and ready to kick my own ass...let's hope this time it stays. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	





So I started a "weight loss" blog to try and keep a journal for myself and I decided I would search for other peoples' weight loss/management blogs and found this site --  http://www.buddyslim.com

It's kinda like a myspace but for people who are wanting to lose weight and stuff. There's a bunch of other people on there who are looking to do the same thing as you. It's really cool! Anyways, just thought I'd post that in case anyone else was interested. I decided I'm keep a blog on that site instead cause it'd be easier for me to keep track of a blog through there then separately on my own somewhere else AND on that site. Plus it's easier to find other people that you can motivate and who can motivate you in the process! Double bonus!!


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## Jot (Aug 21, 2007)

Good luck - you sound really motivated to keep it up. the results really will be worth the effort. i lost 3 stone a couple of years ago and it was the best thing i've ever done. As you say you will slip up you are only human but just pick yourself up and get back on with it. The lifestyle change attitude it totally the right thing - you can't just diet for x amount of time then stop and switch back to how it was as that just doesn't work unfortunately. 
Good luck and keep us posted.


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## User49 (Aug 21, 2007)

I would advice sorting out the psychological side of your wieght problems instead of doing all the diets. Usually there is something behind dragging you down and contributing to the weight gain. (Your mother and childhood obviously a big part of it... ) Try congnative behavioral therapy. xx


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## minisprite (Aug 21, 2007)

Glad someone mentioned CBT, cognitive behaviour therapy sounds like a really good investment of your time on this issue. It'll help you to untangle the nuts and bolts of your attitude to food and weight and help you to see it in a new light that's healthier and happier for you. Really admire you for taking responsibility for changing your life.


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## Hilly (Aug 21, 2007)

You rock!! You can always come to us for support!


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## courters (Aug 21, 2007)

Here's a tip that my fiance learned while trying to lose weight - check EVERYTHING you eat for trans fats.  They are extremely addicting, so when you that one brownie with trans fat in it, it will be so, so hard for you to not eat that second, third, and fourth brownie.  Once he started checking everything for trans fats (just check the nutrition label, it's crazy what kind of stuff has it) and totally cut them out, he's been doing a lot better.  He never has cravings at all anymore and once it gets out of your system (it can take a little while) you will realize how much better you are doing!

I myself had a problem with fast food (mainly McNuggets, haha) and he encouraged me to go 30 days with no fast food.  It was hard at first, but once it was over, I didn't even want it anymore because I had quit eating all the trans fats.  Do a search on them to find out exactly why they are bad, addicting, etc if you haven't heard anything about it before and want to know more.

It takes a lot of willpower to change your lifestyle like that, so congratulations!!  I wish I could get motivated to go to the gym!


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## kuuipo1207 (Aug 21, 2007)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *glitternmyveins* 

 
_I would advice sorting out the psychological side of your wieght problems instead of doing all the diets. Usually there is something behind dragging you down and contributing to the weight gain. (Your mother and childhood obviously a big part of it... ) Try congnative behavioral therapy. xx_

 
 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *minisprite* 

 
_Glad someone mentioned CBT, cognitive behaviour therapy sounds like a really good investment of your time on this issue. It'll help you to untangle the nuts and bolts of your attitude to food and weight and help you to see it in a new light that's healthier and happier for you. Really admire you for taking responsibility for changing your life._

 
My husband's brought up that I should check out therapy. I don't know why but I've always had this "stigma" about therapists. When other people see them, cool. That's awesome for them cause they're getting help in stuff that they can't solve on their own and want some guidance in the right direction. But when I think about me going to therapy....I dunno. It's like it's the complete opposite (There I go again with the thinking I have to be stronger than everyone else). I've tried reading through Dr. Phil's "The Ultimate Weight Solution" to think about why I think the way I do. I get to about the 3rd or 4th chapter and quit reading. It's like I'd rather stay thinking the way I think than get help cause it's like I'd have to reopen all the wounds that I've just finally put away and swept under the carpet. But then again, I guess all I've done is just hid the dirt rather than actually clean it up and get it out of the way completely. I'll look into it. After all, like my husband says, "it's not like you'd have to pay for the healthcare we're getting for free?!?" (he's in the military).


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## frocher (Aug 21, 2007)

That's fantastic, you can totally do this.  Please do keep us posted, we are totally behind you!


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## trojanpopcorn (Aug 22, 2007)

What I will definately stress to you is that DIET is 80% of the battle.  If you can't workout, don't stress as much, if you can concentrate on your diet you will see changes.  Also, it takes 3 weeks to set a habit so after a month the dieting won't seem so difficult 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Best of luck!


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## kuuipo1207 (Aug 23, 2007)

Yeah it's alway that first two to three weeks for me. One step at a time.  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 I figure I'll focus on my foods and what I'm eating for about a week or two, then being to incorporate the exercise and everything, so I'm not bombarding myself all at once with everything. I have been trying to be more active a little bit though...like dancing my way around the house or doing some tahitian dancing while doing the dishes. lol


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## laguayaca (Aug 24, 2007)

you inspire me!


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## dmenchi (Aug 24, 2007)

Girl, as long as you don't put yourself through another eating disorder, please be healthy and be yourself, nobody wants a skinny little petty chick-enjoy life in a healthy way. i'm proud of you for overcoming all the bad things in your life- be happy and positive and if you need a kick in the butt, pm me! BE HEALTHY NOT SKINNY!!!!


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## 1165Cheryl (Aug 24, 2007)

I'll Try And Check In As Much As Possible 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 I Too Have Had Problems,  The Last 3 Years The Worse Due To Thyroid Goiters. I Gained 30 Lbs And Am Having A Tough Time Losing It And Emotionally Its Hard Cause Part Of It Is Out Of My Control. I'm Also Disabled Which Is Why This Is All Caps, Nerve/muscle Damage Through Out Body. Anyway, I'm Sorry I Didnt Mean To Make This About Me. You Realizing It's A Life Style Change And Not A "diet" Is A Big Step Already 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 One Thing That Has Help Me Is I Got A Step Counter So Now I Make Sure I Walk A Certain Amount Each Day.


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## mskitchmas (Aug 25, 2007)

You can do it! Keep up the good work. Sounds like you've got the right idea, one day at a time!  

G
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	







D LUCK!!!


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## Vienna (Aug 25, 2007)

I highly recommend checking into Body For Life.



Bonnie


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## kuuipo1207 (Aug 26, 2007)

Do I have to pay for anything or buy any products?


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## kuuipo1207 (Aug 26, 2007)

Well, I'm not really sure how this happened 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





, but none the less I'm happy!! I've lost 10 lbs! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	










I must be doing something right with eating better and stuff. I've cut out soda (for the most part...only had one this week), stuck with water and some juices, been eating salads and adding more veggies and fruits. Been also substituing cooking with Pam instead of with butter or oil. Since I started a couple of weeks ago as well, I've been cutting down my portion sizes and all this week I found that a lot of the time, I would get full quicker than I usually would and end up only eating about 1/2 to 3/4 of the meal. Oh! And I've cut out sweets too...well mostly cut them out. 
So anyways, just thought I'd give an upddate. I'm gonna be leaving on Tuesday for TN and my friend that I'll be staying with is trying to be healthier as well, so we'll be able to support each other, work out together, and everything! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 But yeah... YAY!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Starting weight: 281 lbs.
Last weeks weight: 277 lbs.
Current weight: 267 lbs.
This week's loss: *10 lbs.*
Total loss: *14 lbs.*
Goal weight: 160-165 lbs.
Total Loss of ----120-125 lbs.


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## 1165Cheryl (Aug 26, 2007)

Congrads!!!!! Your Doing Great, Doesnt It Feel Great Hitting The 10 Lb Mark


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## Shimmer (Aug 26, 2007)

Little changes like cutting out cokes and sweets make such a HUGE difference! Fantastic!


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## MACATTAK (Aug 26, 2007)

Awesome!  I'm sooo happy for you!  10 pounds in a week is a huge accomplishment & a great boost/motivator.  Keep it up!


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## righteothen (Aug 26, 2007)

My mom had a similar childhood with her mom, and so I say this with sincerity, they fact that you are trying to change your lifestyle, instead of just dieting, is wonderful.

Just remember, if you ever do mess up, once it's over, it's in the past.  Just go back to your healthier lifestyle like it never happened, and eventually, it never will ^_^.


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## kuuipo1207 (Aug 26, 2007)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *1165Cheryl* 

 
_Congrads!!!!! Your Doing Great, Doesnt It Feel Great Hitting The 10 Lb Mark 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
OMG you better believe it feels great!! lol. I would have jumped for joy right off the scale and yelled a great big "yippee" at the time I weighed myself but my husband was taking a nap. lol.


 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_Little changes like cutting out cokes and sweets make such a HUGE difference! Fantastic! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
Yeah, sweets and cokes have ALWAYS been my addiction so I decided that rather than trying to just avoid them when they're in the house, I decided that I just wouldn't buy them at all...and diet soda isn't an option for me cause I can't stand th nutrasweet taste.  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *MACATTAK* 

 
_Awesome! I'm sooo happy for you! 10 pounds in a week is a huge accomplishment & a great boost/motivator. Keep it up!_

 
I was kinda beginning to feel a slump but I had this reminder thingie set up to remind me to check in every sunday. So I forced myself to do it, and I'm really glad I did cause it helped to get my spirits up and remind me why I'm doing this!  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	





 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *righteothen* 

 
_My mom had a similar childhood with her mom, and so I say this with sincerity, they fact that you are trying to change your lifestyle, instead of just dieting, is wonderful.

Just remember, if you ever do mess up, once it's over, it's in the past. Just go back to your healthier lifestyle like it never happened, and eventually, it never will ^_^._

 
My husband asked me if I could make some brownies, so I "treated" myself to one, but then found the temptation to want to eat more. So I made my husband take them to work with him and keep them at his office. lol.


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## frocher (Aug 26, 2007)

That is amazing, 10 pounds in a week, congrats.  Keep up the good work!


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## yummy411 (Aug 26, 2007)

congrats... i want to find you on buddy slim???


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## kuuipo1207 (Aug 26, 2007)

Ok. it took me a while to navigate cause for some reason BuddySlim was acting up when I was trying to get to it in internet explorer. But once I got to it in firefox, I was able to get the info.

Here's my homepage/profile:  http://www.buddyslim.com/AHealthierFran

And here's my blog on BuddySlim:  http://ahealthierfran.buddyslim.com/


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## yummy411 (Aug 30, 2007)

i look you up soon and save you as a friend! (i think that's how it works.. i' m new to it) lol


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## kaliraksha (Sep 11, 2007)

I am so proud of you for the great attitude and all you motivation. Keep us posted! You are not alone!


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## janwa09 (Sep 11, 2007)

Congratulations on your progress so far and good luck!!


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## yur_babeydoll (Sep 16, 2007)

Congrats on taking action. If you ever need any weight loss advice or would like a good informative critique on your diet or workout program or anything I'd be more then happy to be of help. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Good work so far and good luck with it!


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## MACATTAK (Sep 16, 2007)

How are you doing girlie?  Hope everything is going well!


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