# Am I being too sensitive?



## choseck (May 14, 2007)

It took me about a year - I love a little over 80lbs from January 2006 - January 2007.  I did it how I felt was the 'right' way, I changed my eating habits and I exercised as well as did a lot of reading on nutrition, health, diet and exercise.

Now that I'm at around 115lbs I feel that people are constantly watching me.  When people see me they always make a comment like 'you aren't still trying to lose are you?' or 'You're done trying to lose right?'

Last night we went out for a Mothers Day dinner and my parents good friends were at the restaurant as well.  They hadn't seen me in almost a year, so they hadn't realized how much I had lost.  I was done eating (and I had finished everything) when I noticed that my dads friend was looking at my plate, almost to see what I had eaten.

Basically, I feel like I get defensive over my eating habits.  I eat A LOT.  I easily eat more than a lot of people do - I just eat the right things.  And I'm tired of people always making comments about my food, about me.  I'm sorry, but a salad isn't 'diet' food.  It's 'healthy' food.  Yet they sit and poke around at my stuff, almost as if in awe that someone would choose to eat that.

I find myself losing patience with people and snapping at them.  Last night my parents friend made a comment about me still trying to lose and I almost went off.

I don't know, is ignoring it the best solution, or does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can say when these situation arise?  I've worked so hard, I'm so proud of myself - yet these comments make me feel like shit.  I know I shouldn't be complaining - but I now understand how people feel when they are thin and people are making comments about it.

Grr.. maybe I just needed to type that out and vent in my own way


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## knoxydoll (May 14, 2007)

You can never win when you're either over-weight or under-weight. People always assume the worst. It's sounds like your family just hasn't gotten used to the smaller you. Just take everything in stride and do what you think is right for you and try not to let others influence your choices.


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## little teaser (May 14, 2007)

welcome to the thin world.. people just cant accept that some of us are thin without starveing ourselfs.. but i totally understand how you feel i have dealt with all sorts of rude comments, the funny thing though is people ask how do you stay so thin i bet you eat like a bird but the same overweight people that makes those comments cant figure how to lose weight.. its like hello eat like a bird aka smaller portions..lol

btw, congrats on the weight lost.


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## knoxydoll (May 14, 2007)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *little teaser* 

 
_welcome to the thin world.. people just cant accept that some of us are thin without starveing ourselfs.. but i totally understand how you feel i have dealt with all sorts of rude comments, the funny thing though is people ask how do you stay so thin i bet you eat like a bird but the same overweight people that makes those comments cant figure how to lose weight.. its like hello eat like a bird aka smaller portions..lol_

 
Eating smaller portions isn't the key to losing weight. And for many people who are over-weight (over eaters in general) and have been for most of their lives only feel full when they've stuffed themselves so much that their stomach is much larger than what it should be. When you're a complusive overeater eating smaller porptions is foreign and makes you feel like you're starving yourself. It's quite hard to healthly shrink an oversized stomach and takes many months of hard disipline to do. It's just as hard to lose weight for bigger people as it is for naturally skinny people to put on weight.


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## hoemygosh (May 14, 2007)

shouldn't your fam be happy that you lost the weight, and that you're a healthier person now?
salads can be fulfilling and scrumptous too. and you don't have to feel bad about eating them. 
I think that you aren't doing anything wrong in your situation and it sucks that you are a target. I'm sorry they're putting it on you. 
congradulations on your weight loss.
=]


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## Beauty Mark (May 15, 2007)

Assuming you are at a healthy weight, I know from personal experience that being thin is always going to be scrutinized. You can never be at a happy medium for a lot of people when it comes to weight.

I'm going guess the people questioning about your weight are genuinely concerned, but it still sucks. You can say something about it to these people, but it really doesn't help. Just keep on eating healthily and know you're not alone in this.


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## little teaser (May 15, 2007)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *knoxydoll* 

 
_Eating smaller portions isn't the key to losing weight. And for many people who are over-weight (over eaters in general) and have been for most of their lives only feel full when they've stuffed themselves so much that their stomach is much larger than what it should be. When you're a complusive overeater eating smaller porptions is foreign and makes you feel like you're starving yourself. It's quite hard to healthly shrink an oversized stomach and takes many months of hard disipline to do. It's just as hard to lose weight for bigger people as it is for naturally skinny people to put on weight._

 
if eating smaller portions isnt one of the keys to loseing and maintaing weight then why are the 4741973 ways to lose weight always include portion size...


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## Shimmer (May 15, 2007)

small portions in conjunction with exercise is the key.


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## knoxydoll (May 15, 2007)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *little teaser* 

 
_if eating smaller portions isnt one of the keys to loseing and maintaing weight then why are the 4741973 ways to lose weight always include portion size..._

 
A lot of bigger people don't over-eat, eat healthy, eat small portions, eat less than their skinny friends and are still big. Why? Because eating smaller portions of anything everyday won't help you to lose weight if all you do is sit on a couch and what TV or play on the computer. The key to losing weight is *balance* of everything. You need nutrition, excerise and smaller protions.  Just changing your diet alone won't help you in the long run if you don't have the lifestyle to back it up. Why do you think so many people yo-yo their weight when they go on diets?


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## little teaser (May 15, 2007)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *knoxydoll* 

 
_A lot of bigger people don't over-eat, eat healthy, eat small portions, eat less than their skinny friends and are still big. Why? Because eating smaller portions of anything everyday won't help you to lose weight if all you do is sit on a couch and what TV or play on the computer. The key to losing weight is *balance* of everything. You need nutrition, excerise and smaller protions. Just changing your diet alone won't help you in the long run if you don't have the lifestyle to back it up. Why do you think so many people yo-yo their weight when they go on diets?_

 
thanks for the info, but i think its commen knowledge
i think you are putting words in my mouth i didnt say eating smaller portion is the only key but a key..


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## choseck (May 15, 2007)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *hoemygosh* 

 
_shouldn't your fam be happy that you lost the weight, and that you're a healthier person now?
salads can be fulfilling and scrumptous too. and you don't have to feel bad about eating them. 
I think that you aren't doing anything wrong in your situation and it sucks that you are a target. I'm sorry they're putting it on you. 
congradulations on your weight loss.
=]_

 
Actually, it iisn't my family - its friends of the family.  My family is constantly telling me how proud they are of me.  But people outside seem to think that I want to keep losing and that I must not eat anymore.


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## MxAxC-_ATTACK (May 16, 2007)

sometimes people dont understand that also after a lot of weight loss.. eating "RIGHT" and healthy is important to keep the weight off.. if you get off track you go right back to being large.... you lose weight and someone sees you eating an apple and they are like "wow so is that your meal for the day?" .. NO... but instead of diving into that bag of cheetos you have im eating an apple A**hole.


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## choseck (May 16, 2007)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *MxAxC-_ATTACK* 

 
_sometimes people dont understand that also after a lot of weight loss.. eating "RIGHT" and healthy is important to keep the weight off.. if you get off track you go right back to being large.... you lose weight and someone sees you eating an apple and they are like "wow so is that your meal for the day?" .. NO... but instead of diving into that bag of cheetos you have im eating an apple A**hole._

 
Thats what I've noticed.  It's frustrating, they look at me like I'm nuts for eating the way I do - and I love eating the way I do, I actually eat more now than I used to when I was heavier, all because I'm eating 'right.'

I hate eating lunch at work because people are always coming up and sticking their grubby little meat hooks (fingers) in my food.  (not literally of course, but you get the idea!) and making comments.  Seriously guys, its a turkey pita!!!  I got the stuff at Super Target - you can buy it too!!  I swear I hate people sometimes.


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## knoxydoll (May 16, 2007)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *choseck* 

 
_Thats what I've noticed.  It's frustrating, they look at me like I'm nuts for eating the way I do - and I love eating the way I do, I actually eat more now than I used to when I was heavier, all because I'm eating 'right.'

I hate eating lunch at work because people are always coming up and sticking their grubby little meat hooks (fingers) in my food.  (not literally of course, but you get the idea!) and making comments.  Seriously guys, its a turkey pita!!!  I got the stuff at Super Target - you can buy it too!!  I swear I hate people sometimes._

 
You co-workers think turkey pitas are weird... I'm glad I don't work at your place cause they'd think I was a freak.


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## ratmist (May 17, 2007)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *choseck* 

 
_It took me about a year - I love a little over 80lbs from January 2006 - January 2007.  I did it how I felt was the 'right' way, I changed my eating habits and I exercised as well as did a lot of reading on nutrition, health, diet and exercise.

Now that I'm at around 115lbs I feel that people are constantly watching me.  When people see me they always make a comment like 'you aren't still trying to lose are you?' or 'You're done trying to lose right?'

Last night we went out for a Mothers Day dinner and my parents good friends were at the restaurant as well.  They hadn't seen me in almost a year, so they hadn't realized how much I had lost.  I was done eating (and I had finished everything) when I noticed that my dads friend was looking at my plate, almost to see what I had eaten.

Basically, I feel like I get defensive over my eating habits.  I eat A LOT.  I easily eat more than a lot of people do - I just eat the right things.  And I'm tired of people always making comments about my food, about me.  I'm sorry, but a salad isn't 'diet' food.  It's 'healthy' food.  Yet they sit and poke around at my stuff, almost as if in awe that someone would choose to eat that.

I find myself losing patience with people and snapping at them.  Last night my parents friend made a comment about me still trying to lose and I almost went off.

I don't know, is ignoring it the best solution, or does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can say when these situation arise?  I've worked so hard, I'm so proud of myself - yet these comments make me feel like shit.  I know I shouldn't be complaining - but I now understand how people feel when they are thin and people are making comments about it.

Grr.. maybe I just needed to type that out and vent in my own way 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 

First of all, congratulations on losing the excess weight.  You've done something that is incredibly hard to do, and it looks like you haven't had as much support as you deserved in the process.

Secondly, I'm going through this right now.  I gained 30 pounds since I moved to the UK (I'm from Texas originally).  I was 130lbs, and now I'm 160, and I hate it.  I used to be incredibly active, but when my university studies started, I felt like I didn't have the time or the energy to work exercise into my life.

Now I'm trying to get back into shape.  However, I haven't told anyone but my very closest friends and my husband.  The reasons for this are:

1.  A lot of my friends are overweight - significantly heavier than me.  And that's fine - I do not look down on them or pity them or do anything but be supportive of them.  But it means that when I moan about my own weight issues, they kinda don't get it.  To them, I am a perfectly acceptable size - a UK size 14 or a US size 10/12.  To me, that's an unacceptable size, and anyway, my doctor agrees.  

2.  When I talk about wanting to lose weight and get into shape, the conversation inevitably turns to these friends attempting to comfort me by telling me that I don't need to lose the weight, and that I'm beating myself up, etc.  They do not believe I need to lose weight, and that's the impasse that I have to live with.  I don't get the support I want, so I've learned to stop talking about it with them, and seek the support from people I know will provide it - my husband and my closest friends who are in the same fitness-boat as me.

The only advice I can give you is to smile a lot and be very proud of yourself.  People are asking because being unhealthily thin is in the media eye - and everyone still wants to lose weight.  They just don't want to see you melt away to size 0 proportions, which means they love you.  However, if they're getting on your nerves, find a way to express your frustration to them in a healthy way that doesn't tear apart your friendships.  It *is* possible that they will listen to you and back off.

It's equally possible though, that there is a bit of jealousy there.  Correctly proportioned, in-shape people are, on the whole, a great deal more attractive.  And nothing makes women cattier than when another woman starts looking hella hot, while the rest just look the same as ever.


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## rebekah (May 25, 2007)

WAY TO GO LOSING THE WEIGHT!!

your body is no ones business but your own so you don't have to defend yourself to anyone else. 

if people do give you shit explain to them that you can't just diet, you have to change your eating habits all together, forever, to a healthy diet so that you do not regain the weight. 

do not let anyone make you feel bad for being and eating healthy.


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## mommamacgurl (May 28, 2007)

People are just dumb. I recently lost 3o pounds myself and i get stupid comments from coworkers why are you drinking a protein shake, why do you eat those rice cakes why do you drink all of that water etc. etc. i think some people that don't eat healthy feel bad about themselves so they feel the need to make people that are careful about what they eat feel weird. I don't question people as to why they drink sugary sodas and greasy chicken boxes with fries lol! If people have comments about your healthy food choices i say ignore them they are just haters!


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## yur_babeydoll (Sep 16, 2007)

I've had that problem to even when I just lost 10 pounds! ...though I am petite to begin with. It is really frustrating I know first hand. Having your grandma ask you every 5 minutes if your anorexic and what you eat isn't exactly fun. But really all you can do is just brush it off and try not to get upset over it and try to show them that you work out and eat healthier thats all. Not much more you can really do.


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## SparklingWaves (Sep 16, 2007)

I think deep down people are jealous of those that take care of their bodies and maintain a healthy weight.


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## Emily_3383 (Sep 17, 2007)

Congrats on the weightloss! I can definately relate.  I feel like i get criticized when im overweight and when im trying to live a healthy lifestyle and lose some weight i get asked if im eating or staeving myself.  I try to ignore people as much as i can.


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## jenii (Sep 17, 2007)

People also need to take genetics into account. Some people do eat healthy, in small amounts, and are reasonably active, but they're still big.

It's not fair to assume that big = compulsive eater who is too lazy to exercise. Some of us have some seriously bad genes working against us, so that we can be healthy, but not exactly svelte.


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## Holls* (Sep 17, 2007)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *choseck* 

 
_ 
Now that I'm at around 115lbs I feel that people are constantly watching me. When people see me they always make a comment like 'you aren't still trying to lose are you?' or 'You're done trying to lose right?'
_

 
I can really relate but my story ends up unhappy. I had gotten so sick of people (my mother especially) "worrying" over my weightloss that i said f it and i went back to the way things were. Ive now gained back the weight plus 15 lbs. Im trying now to get back to my beginning mindset of eating healthy. Its really hard because the comments I heard, its hard to want to get that way again just to avoid them. I'm working on this. The advice I can give you is this ~ please look at old pictures and look at some now...keep feeling good about yourself and know that these people are very insecure to have to concentrate on you so they dont think about themselves. I'm proud that you have been able to lose so much and are keeping it off! Hopefully im on the way to getting back on that road.

Holls*


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## choseck (Sep 17, 2007)

I noticed that this thread got pushed back up, I can't remember when i first posted it, but it seems like forever ago.  Things have gotten so much better, people realize now how I am when it comes to my eating habits, they see that I'm very healthy and they see how much I eat.  I get a lot of those comments now!  'I can't believe you EAT that much!!!'  I truly think its a misconception that people have if you're thin you must not eat, therefore in order to be thin or lose weight, you don't eat.

Thanks for your support, I have learned to shrug off some of the comments I do hear, and I think about how far I've come and a lot of people are so impressed with how healthy I eat and tell me they wish they could be like that.

Anyway, just wanted to say thanks - and its sad how sometimes it seems like no matter what you do, you aren't going to make everyone happy.  I'm still trying to figure that out.


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