# 30 lbs and little motivation



## brokenxbeauty (Jun 27, 2012)

I have always struggled with motivating to lose weight. I've never been overweight but I've never been happy with the way I look or the number on the scale. The most happy I was with the way I looked in a bathing suit was when I was on drugs and didn't eat much. Then I started drinking... holy calories. I still wasn't eating as much, and still occassionally using, so I didn't gain too much weight, but it was coming on slowly. Now I've been clean and sober from everything for almost 4 months, am eating regularly - and not as healthy as I should be - and I feel like the weight is just packing on.
  	My size 6 clothes are getting tight on me and the pair of shorts that were loose on me last year fit perfectly now. I feel so uncomfortable in most of my normal clothes and I could probably pass as a pregnant lady.
  	I'm 5'8" and carry my weight well, so when I tell people I want to lose 30 lbs they look at me like I'm crazy. I don't look like I weight 163 lbs but when I last on the scale it freaked me out. I haven't weighed this much in years and if I keep gaining, I'll weigh more than I ever have. I'm only 20 and if I can't have a hot bod while I'm young I'm afraid it will never happen.
  	I can't really afford to buy super healthy foods, but I know we have plenty of normal food in the house. I'm hoping if I stop gravitating toward the chips, soda, and restaurant food that will help the diet end of things.
  	I also really hate sweating lol. I signed up for a race months ago, and I haven't run a 5k in years. The race is in 2 weeks or so, July 14, but I can't bring myself to actually just get out there and do it. I really need some hardcore motivation!
  	I love talking about it but can't seem to DO it. I think I'm just complaining now lol but I'm hoping by posting this I will gain some accountability and support.


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## Richelle83 (Jun 27, 2012)

We are the same height but I have way more to loose than you. I needed motivation so I went to my old trusty hair forum for help. The women there were posting pics of gorgeous fit models it seemed like then one was posted that had a link to a tumblr blog. Ever since then I use that as an inspiration motivator type thing. Hope this helps!

  	Here are a few I follow:
http://funeralformyfat.tumblr.com/
http://weight-a-second.tumblr.com/
http://l0vey0urselfff.tumblr.com/
http://crissfit.tumblr.com/


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## cutemiauw (Jun 28, 2012)

brokenxbeauty said:


> I'm only 20 and if I can't have a hot bod while I'm young I'm afraid it will never happen.


  	This part, I know it's not true. Okay, I've never been overweight, but I am way fitter now (also body shape-wise) at 33 than when I was in my early twenties. 

  	If you don't like to sweat, maybe you could try something like yoga/pilates? Just do anything you like, really. If you like to walk, then walk for an hour everyday... just do something gradually. I find that getting fit for me is really more about the gradual change of lifestyle and eating habits rather than an overnight flip.


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## brokenxbeauty (Jun 28, 2012)

Thank you so much to both of you!


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## baghdad81 (Jun 28, 2012)

Hi!!!  I too am on the road to lose weight. I have been struggling since I was 17, I had an amazing body throughout my teens but gained and lost and went into yo-yo since I was 17. I have been trying to lose weight for the last 6 months (holy cowww)....and I am succeeding slowly but gradually. I am 5"5 and was 152 lb. After 6 months of mostly sticking to healthier food ( I am a huge fast food junkie), I have managed to get down to 136.6 lb. I am happy with that but am still trying and just recently hit the gym!  It will make you feel a ton better when you start changing your lifestyle. I can vouch for healthy food being expensive but it doesn't have to be, esp if you are eating at home. Next time you feel like eating chips, why not try low-fat popcorn? It will still satisfy that salty craving and has much less calories for a whole bag!! Apple pie? Just slice an apple, add some cinnamon and pop it in the microwave for 30-45 seconds and voila. Tastes really good.  Everytime I feel I am craving something sweet, I just eat an apple or a banana or some seasonal fruit. I snack on cucumbers a lot as well. I just got a box of figs for about 10$ and they are yummy! Doesn't mean I don't enjoy an ice cream there or a chicken snack wrap,  I just factor that in so it balances with the rest of my day. I am a big fan of oatmeal for breakfast and I love me some hot soup for lunch (My fave: Lentil soup!).   For dinner, I usually make a simple salad: Lettuce, tomato, cucumber and onions, with 1 - 2 tsp of olive oil and kraft fat-free italian dressing. Sometimes I add black olives. It is soo yummy and comes to about 45-60 calories per serving. SOO FILLING. Pair that with a skinless, boneless breast/thigh of chicken (100/130 calories respectively) grilled or really pan-seared in its own fat, and it is amazing. Sometimes I eat halibut or tilapia filets (about the size of a hand palm). Occasionally I eat 2 cubes of red meat.   I also have days where I eat junk food (like the weekend) but I either just eat the sandwich or go for a smaller sandwich.    As for exercise, because of my arthritis I can't run or anything, but I walk a lot. I walk about 2 km a day in this beautiful summer weather, roughly the size of 2 blocks and back. I also just went on the treadmill recently and changed the inclines to get a better workout at a lower speed as I am unable to use the elliptical. I did some stretching exercises that I learnt from magazines such as glamour and cosmo. There are even free apps on the app store that help you (Loseit - I love this! I used it to calculate my calories and it helped me lose so much weight.....and they send you motivation emails tooooo; There is also daily workout apps that target problem areas and you can set your workout to whatever region you want for the time period you want).  I hope I didn't bore you lol! Good luck!


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## Spanky (Jun 28, 2012)

BrokenXBeauty,  I think u should focus on the positive changes u've made in the last 4 months, getting clean from drugs and alcohol is not an easy thing to do. I feel like ur being extremely hard on yourself, the size of ur pants, the # on the scale, etc. those are all numbers & in the scheme of life not important. Focus on the way u feel without being a slave to ur addictions & all the rest will fall in place. Ur only 20 & the body changes as we go through different stages of life. There are people who would kill to be tall & have ur body, I call it 'the grass is always greener effect'. Make small changes, take it one moment at a time & don't be so unforgiving about the little things. Don't fret if u don't run the whole 5K, just enjoy the fact that ur not feeling all hung over or strung out. The weight thing will resolve as you make changes, but try & do it the right way, not the crazy starve yourself & binge cycle, its not good for u & makes ur metabolism all sorts of screwed up.  In my case, I have a ton of extuating circumstances that keep me from being where I want/need to be. It sucks, but I also realize that at this point weight loss is not the priority in my life. Sometimes that's just the way it is.   Just know u aren't alone & that women are just so damn hard on ourselves & the media overflow of sickly thin, airbrushed women doesn't help either, but it isn't real.   Keep ur chin up & hang in there. Best of luck with everything, but please reward yourself for the good you have done for ur body, mind & soul by just stopping the drinking & drugs.  Richelle & Baghdad81 it sounds like u guys are in a really good place & I hope things continue to go well in ur positive life changes.   When the time is right, I'm sure I'll be posting on here about my own struggles but I have so much other muck that is a priority that obsessing over my weight would just not help me any.  We have to stay strong for each other & recogize & acknowledge that we are surrounded by beautiful people- both inside and out! Much love & support to my Specktra family.


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## brokenxbeauty (Jun 28, 2012)

Thanks for the tips baghdad81, you didn't bore me at all that was very helpful! Also congratulations on the changes you have been making and losing the weight, you're doing great!  Thank you Spanky I really appreciated your post! I know I am a perfectionist and feel like I have to have it all, which is just unrealistic. I don't spend enough time appreciating the positives because I feel like they are expected. You're right though and I'm glad you pointed that out. I really love the Specktra community as well, such a great group of people. I love all the support I have gotten already and I think that with encouraging each other we can all succeed in our goals.


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