# Dummies roll deep



## Lauren1981 (Nov 19, 2008)

me:
last week i got home and pointed my remote for my car at my house trying to unlock my front door......

my bff:
just left the gas station was trying to unlock her car door but was pointing her remote at the gas pump.....

me:
i answered the phone at work and the guy goes "hey this is chris at______" i said "i'm doing good how are you" WTF?? he never even inquired as to how i was doing but i obviously wanted him to know

by bff:
went with a friend to talk to her professor about something. when they left, her friend told the professor to have a good day. my friend waved good-bye to the professor but turned to her friend and said "you too".........

these are just some randoms of what can happen when you've got too much sh*t going on in your head.
so unorganized. lol!!!!


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## xsnowwhite (Nov 19, 2008)

hah i know what you mean! I can say some really stupid things and I dont even realize. Like the other day I was so focused on something that I grabbed the wrong car keys and started crying when my car wouldn't start!! haha i felt so stupid.


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## Dizzy (Nov 19, 2008)

I once told a professor that my favorite color was shiny.  
Don't feel so bad.


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## OfficerJenny (Nov 19, 2008)

While eating popcorn from a bowl, water from a glass

*dips hand in popcorn* omnonom
*dips hand in popcorn omnomnom
*dips hand in glass* That's not right.....


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## xxManBeaterxx (Nov 19, 2008)

roflmao @ everyones responses, it put a smile on my face xP


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## TISH1124 (Nov 19, 2008)

I tried dialing my Mom 3 times using the calculator keys...then right before I was about to call the phone company from my cell to find out why I did not have a  dial tone..I figured it out.


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## CantAffordMAC (Nov 19, 2008)

Haha great thread! I do dumb shit alllll the time.

When I was little, during Christmas time: I was on the couch, coloring and eating a candy cane. Suckin on the candy, coloring the picture. back and forth. For some reason I bit a huge chunk out of the crayon. Purple is not a yummy crayon. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




When  food delivery guys deliver food to my house, theyll say something like "enjoy". And I say "you too" 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 I may as well invite them in for dinner! lmao...Im so stupid

Ill think of more later


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## TISH1124 (Nov 19, 2008)

^^I always say you too, too...so out of habit...One guy said sorry to hear about your grandmother passing you are in my thoughts..I said thanks you too. WTF


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## mymacmenagerie (Nov 19, 2008)

I was watching one of the Star Trek movies with a friend. The scene was of 2 of the characters walking around on a "new planet." Being all into the movie I blurted out, "hey..that looks like they filmed that on Earth!"...Well no shi*t..what other planet have you been to? LOL


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## IDontKnowMomo (Nov 19, 2008)

haha this thread is great. Makes me smile since I do goofy shit like this constantly.
My most common one is "Where are my glasses" when I'm wearing them xD


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## IDontKnowMomo (Nov 19, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *TISH1127* 

 
_^^I always say you too, too...so out of habit...One guy said sorry to hear about your grandmother passing you are in my thoughts..I said thanks you too. WTF_

 
lmfao, My you toos could never beat that one!
I always say "you too" when the ushers take my tickets at the movies and tell me to a good time :x


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## CantAffordMAC (Nov 19, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *IDontKnowMomo* 

 
_lmfao, My you toos could never beat that one!
I always say "you too" when the ushers take my tickets at the movies and tell me to a good time :x_

 











Oh snap, my you toos couldnt beat that one either. Damn Tish! The subject of conversation wasnt funny, but...you too?? 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 Lmao!

Oh geez, this is going to be my favorite thread. Im almost crying.


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## Starbright211 (Nov 19, 2008)

I went to Sonic one time and the kid comes around and asks if I want Ketchup or Mints, my reply...  Pickles...  Uh, yeah.


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## jdechant (Nov 19, 2008)

You know when your having a bad day when you line your eyes with your lip liner.. lol..unfortunately its a true story...


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## OfficerJenny (Nov 19, 2008)

XD @ You too

I say you too to everything
especially when it's like
Waiter: Here you go, enjoy your meal!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



Me: Thanks! You too!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



Waiter: *Pause and then walk away*


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## purrtykitty (Nov 19, 2008)

LMAO...I am totally guilty of the "you too"...my brain is so fried right now, I can't even remember the stupid sh*t I've said lately


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## nelyanaphonexia (Nov 19, 2008)

This thread just made my day! I luv y'all! I've had a terrible day because my computer ate my thesis I've been working on. I just had to take a break and visit my buddies on specktra. Good thing I came across this and not some sad thread or a rant. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Anywho, I've done LOADS of silly things. I do the 'you too' thing all the time. And usually at hte worst people. 

example: 
my fiancé and I were buying a new car!!!!
Car Salesman: Now Y'all enojy your new car!
Fiance: Thanks!!!!
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



Me: Thanks! You too!!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



Car Salesmen: ?????
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




?????
I didn't even realize I told him to enjoy our new car until we left. Then I felt like a moron. 


The other day I did the "you too" thing when I bought a new pair of sunglasses at the sunglass hut. The dude working there not only wasn't gonna share my sunglasses with me, he probably wouldn't be caught dead in them. They were HUGE sparkly Dolce & Gabanna shades. <3


I always feel like a moron when I misspell my name because I'm writing too fast. Imagine. In a few weeks(!!!) I will have a new name to spell wrong. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



Once I even wrote my BFFs name instead of mine. I felt like a psycho. 


The worst is when you are trying to be clever and it fails. 
example:
I was trying to hide behind a book in an airport from this overly chatty dude who had been talking to me for hours.
me: ooh! I will "read" a book! *pulls out book, flips to random page*
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



dude: *walks up* hey...is that a good book? 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



me: mmhmm.....
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



dude: what's it about? 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	






me: early Renaissance art history. It's super boring.
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



dude: how are you reading it?
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



me: ?????....in English????
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



dude: no...it's upside down. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



me: *CRAP!*
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	










yeah. totally happened to me. I felt SOOOOO stupid. I think I ran away and hid in a bathroom where he couldn't find me until my flight boarded. I was grateful my seat wasn't next to him....

This was not really on me, but funny none the less:
I was at a frat party with some of my friends my freshman year of college. We met some cute frat guys, one of whom was from London! Cute boy + cute accent = AWESOME. So, one of my good friends buddies is from the UK and we thought they would like to hang out with us sometime. So, we got his number and made plans. The next week (or whenever) when we phoned him some weird dude answered. But he said our friend would meet us at our dorm to go out. So, when we all met up, my friend's UK friend asked him the usual "where are you from" questions etc. Very quickly we all realized he wasn't from London, he wasn't from anywhere in the UK, and he didn't have a cute British accent. Total Liar! When he realized that we figured him out, he just got up from the bar/pub place we were and left like it happened all the time. Turned out he was trying to use an accent to get with girls. Gross dude, funny story! 






 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *OfficerJenny* 

 
_XD @ You too

I say you too to everything
especially when it's like
Waiter: Here you go, enjoy your meal!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



Me: Thanks! You too!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



Waiter: *Pause and then walk away*_

 
omg. I was a waitress for a long time, and you wouldn't believe how many people do that. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 I usually just smiled and walked away. What they didn't know was that the restaurant I worked at let the waitresses take home food for free....so their "you too" wasn't completely in vain!!!


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## PuterChick (Nov 19, 2008)

First of all, I love the title of this thread!!!  and the subject, makes me laff...

I do lame things more than I like to admit.  One, that I can remember at this moment, looking all over for keys when I have them in my hand!!


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## OfficerJenny (Nov 19, 2008)

omg
while talking on my celly

WHERE THE HELL IS MY PHONEEEEE?!?!?!


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## xsnowwhite (Nov 20, 2008)

^ haha I have been known to do that several times!

I know I have way more stupid moments but I can't think of them on the spot. haha I will have to add more


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## CantAffordMAC (Nov 20, 2008)

Or have u guys ever dialed a number on ur cell phone, and held it to ur ear for like 7 minutes, and realized u never pressed "call"? Or after someone hung up, u just keep the phone up to ur ear accidentally, until u remember ur no longer on the phone?

I used to ALWAYS do that.

Or how bout, Im calling my moms job: "Hi can I speak to ____" okay no problem, she puts me on hold. But she puts me on hold for like, 8 minutes. And I sort of dozed off. So I woke back up and like 10 seconds later the receptionist gets back on the phone and says "Hi Im sorry, can I help you" and I say "Thank you for..um can I speak to _____" I SAID THANK YOU FOR...IT WAS LIKE I WAS AT MY JOB, ANSWERING THE PHONE! WTF? Who does that? Im soooooooooo slow sometimes lmao


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## TISH1124 (Nov 20, 2008)

You can always tell when a guy is about to hit on you and he is NOT anything you feel like being bothered with...So I'm walking in the store and I hear Hey, Lady....So I grab my cell phone like I am talking on it.....I am carrying on this whole conversation of course there is no one on the other line...But he doesn't know that...well Until the damn phone RINGS!!! OMG....I just want to die...But now he thinks I'm crazy anyway so whatever works!!!


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## OfficerJenny (Nov 20, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *TISH1127* 

 
_You can always tell when a guy is about to hit on you and he is NOT anything you feel like being bothered with...So I'm walking in the store and I hear Hey, Lady....So I grab my cell phone like I am talking on it.....I am carrying on this whole conversation of course there is no one on the other line...But he doesn't know that...well Until the damn phone RINGS!!! OMG....I just want to die...But now he thinks I'm crazy anyway so whatever works!!!_

 
Rofl! I love you Tish!


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## kittykit (Nov 20, 2008)

I washed my body with conditioner in the shower once.

My best friend went to see her doctor one day because her body was really itchy. She later found out that she has used the lotion as the shower gel and vice versa that morning.


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## Lauren1981 (Nov 20, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *TISH1127* 

 
_I tried dialing my Mom 3 times using the calculator keys...then right before I was about to call the phone company from my cell to find out why I did not have a dial tone..I figured it out._

 
OMFG!!! THAT IS CLASSIC!!!!


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## Lauren1981 (Nov 20, 2008)

i am DYING laughing over here at everyone's responses!!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	










i actually had a few more that i thought of last night when i was telling my bff about this thread.

2 years ago my mom's aunt passed and we were in the basement eating after the funeral. i got up to get a brownie and asked her if she wanted some. she told me no because she had to grade papers that night........


THEN.....

my dad was talking about how nasty and heavy the fudge brownies from dominos looked but instead says to me "now after eating all that damn pizza who has room for budge frownies?" and saw nothing wrong with what he said...........


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## Lauren1981 (Nov 20, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *CantAffordMAC* 

 
_Or have u guys ever dialed a number on ur cell phone, and held it to ur ear for like 7 minutes, and realized u never pressed "call"? Or after someone hung up, u just keep the phone up to ur ear accidentally, until u remember ur no longer on the phone?

I used to ALWAYS do that.
_

 
i can't tell you how many times i have done that. lol!! i remember once thinking to myself how much i hate att because the calls take so long to connect...... wow


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## Lauren1981 (Nov 20, 2008)

okay one more from me and then i think i'm done with all the recent dumb shit i've done

when i started this job my supervisor was teaching me how to use quickbooks. she goes "your password is your name but in lowercase because it's case sensitive".........

i can't tell you how many times i typed the word "lowercase" in lowercase and kept getting denied until my supervisor goes "are you sure your name is that long??"


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## pink_lily002 (Nov 20, 2008)

I've done the "you too" thing to countless servers, movie theater ushers, even poor kids at McDonald's.....and when I worked as a server, it happens ALL the time!

Since I work in retail, I'm frequently letting people into fitting rooms all day.  I've only done this a couple times, but when I would let someone into the room, I'd be shutting the door and say "Enjoy!"  LOL WTF?!  Enjoy trying on your clothes?  I only did that two or three times, but I catch myself about to do it quite frequently!

The holiday shopping season is upon us, so I'm basically going to be stressed out for the next six weeks.  The amount of stupid things I'll do will be huge.  Last year, I signed my name wrong almost every time I wrote it, I would forget to press the "call" button on my cell phone and get mad when no one answered, and the brand reps loved me because I would call them by the wrong name on a constant basis!  I couldn't even remember manager's names at other stores, and these were people I spoke to on a regular basis!

So a note for everyone who goes shopping this time of year in busy stores - PLEASE, be nice to the managers!  They're super-stressed and having people get frustrated, angry, mean, and loud will not make things easier for anybody!


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## Dizzy (Nov 20, 2008)

Okay, I'll bite again.  

My neighbor managed to set the fire alarm, the house alarm and her car alarm off at the same time.  How she did it, I'll never know.  But she asked me to go wait with her until the cops showed up- apparently her alarm system calls them automatically when it goes off.  They were just starting to ask her questions.

Neighbor: I don't know how that happened! I just pressed ONE button!
Me: Good thing you're not the president then, huh?  That red one gets you every time.

She looked at me like I kicked her dog.
The cop made an admirable effort to keep from laughing out loud.  
Good times.


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## xsnowwhite (Nov 20, 2008)

Oh man these are so funny. ha I thought of another one, once I was at this girls birthday party, when I left I said "thanks for coming" and she was like "ha...ok" I felt so stupid. I didn't even bother explaining because things like that always come out.


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## mtrimier (Nov 20, 2008)

My grandmother is the Queen of the you toos, but this one made us both almost pee our pants laughing:

The phone rang and she answered. The caller asked to speak to James (her husband), and she said "I'm sorry. He's dead, can I take a message?"

Everything just went quiet and I could hear the guy on the other end of the phone say, "Um, no, but thank you ma'am."

She calmly hung up the phone and I said:

"Bob? You just offered to take a message for Grandpa."

"Yeah."

"Okay. Grandpa. GRAND. PA."

"OH MY GOD! He's DEAD! I JUST ASKED TO TAKE A MESSAGE FOR A DEAD MAN!"

We fell out in the kitchen at that point, and I had to stop her from trying to *69 the guy to apologize to him and ask if he wanted to try the living James, her son instead.


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## User93 (Nov 20, 2008)

LMAO at all.

Check this out:

1) I was working in the reception desk. all my calls were starting like "Good day, Epicor Scala, how can I help you". Imagine how embarassing is to stand the line in McDonalds in your dinner break and after a guy says "order please" tell him thats actually Epicor Scala and ask how can I help him? ...........

daaamn

2) I called my Mom with: air condition remote, tv remote

3) I was seriously calling my home number FROM my home number and wondering why there is a busy phone :/

Dummies roll deep!


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## Lauren1981 (Nov 20, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Alibi* 

 
_LMAO at all.

Check this out:

1) I was working in the reception desk. all my calls were starting like "Good day, Epicor Scala, how can I help you". Imagine how embarassing is to stand the line in McDonalds in your dinner break and after a guy says "order please" tell him thats actually Epicor Scala and ask how can I help him? ...........

daaamn

2) I called my Mom with: air condition remote, tv remote

3) I was seriously calling my home number FROM my home number and wondering why there is a busy phone :/

Dummies roll deep!_

 
everything about this has me rollin


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## TISH1124 (Nov 21, 2008)

Just sitting here eating a Fiber One bar while typing on Specktra...went to pick it up again and take another bite ...put my hand lotion tube in my mouth! Thank God it was not open!! Uggghhh


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## CantAffordMAC (Nov 21, 2008)

Omg we are HILARIOUS! Alibi, Im dying over here 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




last night I was on the phone, and I was reading this thread and I was biting my lip so hard to keep from laughing HYSTERICALLY about this!!


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## RoseyPosey (Nov 21, 2008)

I read this thread at work and was laughing all afternoon yesterday! 

The funniest one i can think of at the moment and cant live down is:

One night, me, my SO, my mom and dad, and our neighbor all went to dinner.
I ordered friend mushrooms as my appetizer.
Scanning over the menu, NOTHING looked good, so my dad suggested the chicken marsala
and i replied
"NAHHH i really dont care for mushrooms"

Seriously, it was so emabrassing! 
And i did this before my rum and coke even made it to the table lol. i know i will think of plenty i say some really stupid stuff without realizing it!


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## xxManBeaterxx (Nov 21, 2008)

I gave my husband a black eye this morning...

Normally i never remember my dreams.  But last night i remembered it very vividly, it felt very real.  And in my dream, my husband was being a huge dick .  I was unconcious yet i felt pissed off and angry, and i really wanted to punch him.  (I swear the day and weeks before he did nothing to agitate or piss me off) Im not sure how long i was dreaming but, a few seconds before i woke up, my elbow rised and i elbowed him right in the eye pretty hard.  That pretty much instantly woke up him and he was pretty dazed and in shock. 


I felt so bad, but now that a few hours has passed i cant help but laugh LOL.


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## BunnyBunnyBunny (Nov 22, 2008)

The other day I was lining my eyes and then I looked down and went to grab Molasses Pearlglide Eyeliner. I look all over the sink of the bathroom, then run out to my makeup case to look for it. It's not there, so I look in my makeup bag I take to school. Then my messenger bag, then on the floor. I start getting worried and all omgggggg now I have to buy a new one and idk if it's sold out and I don't want to pay full price, and I just can't believe I lost it and it's just soooo awful and omgggggg so saddddd

-Looks at hand-
-Was lining eyes with Molasses-
._. Oh, hi Molasses.


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## nelyanaphonexia (Nov 23, 2008)

^^ lol. I've totally done that too. With liners. Brushes. You name it. I've been frantically looking for something that has been in my hand.


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## Rennah (Nov 24, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *mtrimier* 

 
_My grandmother is the Queen of the you toos, but this one made us both almost pee our pants laughing:

The phone rang and she answered. The caller asked to speak to James (her husband), and she said "I'm sorry. He's dead, can I take a message?"

Everything just went quiet and I could hear the guy on the other end of the phone say, "Um, no, but thank you ma'am."

She calmly hung up the phone and I said:

"Bob? You just offered to take a message for Grandpa."

"Yeah."

"Okay. Grandpa. GRAND. PA."

"OH MY GOD! He's DEAD! I JUST ASKED TO TAKE A MESSAGE FOR A DEAD MAN!"

We fell out in the kitchen at that point, and I had to stop her from trying to *69 the guy to apologize to him and ask if he wanted to try the living James, her son instead._

 
You call your grandma "Bob"?


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## TISH1124 (Nov 24, 2008)

^^ I thought the same thing...but didn't want to ask....


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## Holy Rapture (Nov 24, 2008)

Okie now .. This is by far the bestest thread here 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





I am a total dummy! M dying wid laffter and am in office!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I do such stuff ALL THE TIME. Can't remember much ryt now ... Too busy laffing! But, yes, tried to flip channels on TV wid my cell fone, entered a # to call, put da fone to my ear n wondered wotz takin so long to connect, having my wallet in my hand n searchin all oer the planet (nearly died cryin!!)


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## TISH1124 (Nov 24, 2008)

Why was my sister and I trying to figure out why her mouse was not working this morning...she kept moving it around and around so we checked the connection ....plugged in...I said well it's wireless anyway...check the battery....OK after trying to open it...why did we both suddenly realize it was her PED EGG and not the actual mouse.... Not sure who is dumber me or her!!!  Let's go with HER because she's older...


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