# Frenemies, Friends...Makeup Haters?



## ChynaDoll14 (Dec 31, 2010)

I'm not sure if this is just a problem that I encounter when dealing with some of my "Friends", Classmates, co workers  and Frenemies but many times I feel like people are looking down on me for wearing Makeup! I love glamming up and wearing Makeup, something about the process makes me happy and tingly inside and finding the right combinations and looks makes  me happier than anyone could ever know. SO, when I hear people say things such as "You're Obsessed", You dont need makeup", I dont know why you wear foundation"," I dont like Blush personally", "I dont like wearing all that STUFF on my face" etc.. it simply FRUSTRATES me!.. I feel like yelling out "WHY DO WEAR YOUR FACE?!!". I often times express that I like it and that to me, going through the process is exciting and gratifying or at times find myself staying quiet.
  	     I have a "Friend" or rather a Frenemie who barely wears any makeup. Unlike me, she has Acne Prone combination skin(Nothing wrong with it, my best friends and mother have this skin type). She does her eyeliner really thick and applies mascara. She seems to get defensive when me and one of best friend advice her not to sleep in her makeup and to adopt a skin care regimen that will assist her in reducing her breakouts. YET she finds the time and energy to say things such as "Do you wear all that STUFF on your face everyday", "I dont like wearing makeup everyday"( With the rolling of the tongue and eye roll). Am I the only one that finds this annoying?

  	   I feel like everyone wears makeup for different reasons and makeup is beautiful and full art and creativity. I have started to think that this Frenemie, simply does not know the correct away to apply and although we offer help, such as going with her to the MAC Counter, she always finds a way to ruin the experience for all of us.

  	Anyone else feel this way?


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## rjsmom84 (Dec 31, 2010)

I agree, your frenemy may just be insecure about her own appearance. I had really bad acne for about 4 years and during that time I really developed a complex. When my hormones balanced out and my acne cleared up I had more self-confidence and I wasn't so concerned about what others did or looked liked. She may secretly wish she had better skin and better technique for applying her makeup.

  	Skin care and makeup tips aren't going to be helpful until she is able to come to terms with her skin issues and realizes that there are steps to improve it. But, also, not everyone actually is into makeup. I'm a neutral/natural girl and I'm really turned off by loud vibrant makeup. If your friend is able to find her own style she may also be more comfortable with trying makeup. Refer her to blogs or youtube channels where she can explore things on her own time.

  	As far as haters questioning what's on your face, let them hate. It's just a part of life. People find something to talk about regardless of what we do. A close friend of mine accompanied me to the MAC counter once and talked for 2 weeks about the fact that I spent about $150. However, she is living pay check to pay check because she spends 50 plus dollars a day eating out. She is considering bankruptcy because she has lived beyond her means for years. While, through budgeting, I'm able to comfortably buy what I want. Would she shop at the MAC counter if she could? SURE! And believe everyone talking about your face would wear it too if they thought they could pull it off.


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## Curly1908 (Dec 31, 2010)

I can't stand this attitude among brown girls.  Every time I look at chicks who proudly say "I don't wear makeup...only mascara & gloss." --> I want to vomit.  The last time I checked, one is required to go to the MAKEUP aisle to purchase mascara & gloss.  And those "natural/no makeup" faces are often accompanied by some very unnatural weave.  
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





  	It seems like every person who says they don't "NEED" to wear makeup while glancing at someone who is wearing some -- needs concealer, brow zings, microdermabrasion, the whole WORKS.  But they can't afford it or never learned to apply it.


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## pink4ever (Dec 31, 2010)

Everytime I tell people I'm a mua they look at me like I'm some kind of alien. Most of the time they're say "oh most women don't wear the type of makeup makeup artists do like a lot of glitter and bright colors" uhh I don't even wear bright colors or glitter!!! I don't know if they've been seeing muas who only do that but I know for a fact muas do different types of looks. It's really annoying and ignorant.


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## User38 (Dec 31, 2010)

darlin, in life, you learn as you get old.. at least we hope one does.. but tell them that there are MUAs who make millions of $ per annum.. besides, everyone in the field is more adjusted and content with life than most lawyers and even doctors.. lol.


  	I know, I have an MBA and only use it to keep me level headed -- but mu has been my life and my passion and has given me a good life style.  My late husband was an Engineer.. and loved that I could see colour and shape whereas he coul.d only see structure and viability.  Life is what we make it and how we enjoy it.

  	piss on them.. lol


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## MAChostage (Dec 31, 2010)

In a nutshell:  don't worry about the haters.  I often wish I had more friends who enjoyed makeup as I do.  It's funny, however, to get the strange comments from them about your makeup use and purchasing, but then some of them will have the nerve to come to you when they want help wearing it!  You need to justify nothing, just enjoy what you do and have fun with it!


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## gabi03 (Jan 3, 2011)

Curly1908 said:


> I can't stand this attitude among brown girls.  Every time I look at chicks who proudly say "I don't wear makeup...only mascara & gloss." --> I want to vomit.  The last time I checked, one is required to go to the MAKEUP aisle to purchase mascara & gloss. * And those "natural/no makeup" faces are often accompanied by some very unnatural weave*.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## ChynaDoll14 (Jan 4, 2011)

rjsmom84 said:


> I agree, your frenemy may just be insecure about her own appearance. I had really bad acne for about 4 years and during that time I really developed a complex. When my hormones balanced out and my acne cleared up I had more self-confidence and I wasn't so concerned about what others did or looked liked. She may secretly wish she had better skin and better technique for applying her makeup.
> 
> Skin care and makeup tips aren't going to be helpful until she is able to come to terms with her skin issues and realizes that there are steps to improve it. But, also, not everyone actually is into makeup. I'm a neutral/natural girl and I'm really turned off by loud vibrant makeup. If your friend is able to find her own style she may also be more comfortable with trying makeup. Refer her to blogs or youtube channels where she can explore things on her own time.
> 
> As far as haters questioning what's on your face, let them hate. It's just a part of life. People find something to talk about regardless of what we do. A close friend of mine accompanied me to the MAC counter once and talked for 2 weeks about the fact that I spent about $150. However, she is living pay check to pay check because she spends 50 plus dollars a day eating out. She is considering bankruptcy because she has lived beyond her means for years. While, through budgeting, I'm able to comfortably buy what I want. Would she shop at the MAC counter if she could? SURE! And believe everyone talking about your face would wear it too if they thought they could pull it off.


	 I also believe maybe she has not found her niche, I myself admire how vibrant eye makeup looks on others but dont often wear any makeup of that sort, at least not to go out. I love having a Skin Care regimen and following it. I feel that sometimes when she discusses Makeup with me and I introduce my point of view, she gets defensive. She bugged me and bugged me to go to MAC with her as she had never been. I looked forward to going as I love MAC, yet she made the experienec for me and my best friend a pain, she barely touched anything, refused anything the MUA suggested and even finding her foundation shade was a pain for the MUA and us alike, In the end she stood in a corner on the phone. I dont understand. I believe she wants to try but is still a bit close minded or afraid.

  	  I simply hate my haters hate although sometimes I am bothered by rude comments. I dont mind when my Best Friends joke around. I hate when ppl make comments on the makeup I am purchasing


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## ChynaDoll14 (Jan 13, 2011)

Isn't that the truth?! That is the attitude that I encounter, I understand not everyone likes makeup but at least own up to it, dont try to act like you dont need and everything's perfect when it is clearly not!


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## MissHollywood (Jan 17, 2011)

Its clear that she just wants something to say and is very insecure about herself... if it was me i would have already told her to kiss my ass and get a life.. i bet she would of never bother saying anything again


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## she (Jan 17, 2011)

i don't know why it matters so much to other people. i hardly notice if others choose to wear makeup and i accept that the masses as a whole are not interested in products or learning application. people compliment me on my brows and ask me where i get them done, they don't really want to hear that i apply them myself because they all say "too much work!".

  	i dislike it when people do not understand that makeup is a want and not a "need" for those who wear it... it's just cosmetics same as the tracks people will have glued or sewn in.
  	that's a whole other topic btw
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




- how people harass each other over the cosmetics of hair- naturals against relaxed... or people that call their hair "natural" but they wear extensions... 

  	and Curly1908 is right, especially @ bolded -  





Curly1908 said:


> I can't stand this attitude among brown girls.  Every time I look at chicks who proudly say "I don't wear makeup...only mascara & gloss." --> I want to vomit.  The last time I checked, one is required to go to the MAKEUP aisle to purchase mascara & gloss.  And those "natural/no makeup" faces are often accompanied by some very unnatural weave.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 





 the ones most vocal are the ones that could use the most help (including eletrolosis and regular pedicures) and are the main ones looking a ratchet mess while singing keri hilson and proclaiming "don't hate me cause i'm beautiful".... i can't!


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## couturesista (Jan 17, 2011)

I have coworkers at my full time job who would say little side comments when they found out I work for Sephora part time. It was comments like " really.... people come and spend their money on all that stuff, for what? " umm because they want to! or "Wearing makeup is being fake"  and I responded, if that's true than the real you could use a little fakeassness in your life! I don't mind women/men who choose not to wear makeup, that's fine but don't look down on all of us that do.

  	To the original poster remember, people's opinions are mind over matter, you don't mind their opinion and they should know that their opinion doesn't matter!


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## Sojourner (Jan 17, 2011)

....


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## sillygirl82 (Jan 29, 2011)

I don't get it.  I take a live and let live approach to most life choices.  I don't care if they don't wear makeup, so why do they care if I do?

  	My supervisor is notorious for saying snide things.  Me and another lady like going to MAC and Sephora for lunch because they are so close.  Her famous comment is "I don't need all of that.  I have natural beauty."  Well damn, now I'm an ugmo because I like pretty colors on my face.

  	ChynaDoll14 you just have to learn to ignore the peanut gallery.   It's your money and it's your face.  Plus, you are correct in your assessment.  The loudest commentators are usually they ones that secretly envy they could do what you do.


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## Ashleybubbles83 (Jan 30, 2011)

i have friends who give me crap for my makeup obsession and it's gotten to the point where i wont shop with them or if i am with them and they ask if i want to go into mac or sephora i wont go in because they think i either take too long in there or they bitch and moan about how there's nothing in there for them or make enough noise so i'll get the hint and hurry up and want to leave...it just  makes no sense because i am a tolerant person and i'll do things i dont want to do but because i'm with my friends i'll act like i'm enjoying myself. i dont know why they can't do it for me...i am possibly moving in with a friend who is quite vocal about me and my makeup...has me thinking if i really want to live with someone who criticizes me...


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## Mabelle (Jan 30, 2011)

I work as a MUA, and obviously need to wear a full face of makeup to work. its not always my prefrence (since i need to do it 5 days a week, i wish i could take a break). I get people coming to me for suggestions and advice, and give me the same snotty attitude your "friend" is giving you. Women are catty. no matter the age or colour. We have people wanting full coverage concealers to cover HORRIBLE acne, the size that leaves lesions the size of a golf ball on your face, and you know its because they do not wash their face, not hormonal (ive learned to be able to tell the diffrence). Whenever i enquire as to their skincare routine, and make a suggestion, i usually get totally blown off. As in, no, i cannot even talk to you or give you a sample of something. Ignoring the bacteria will not work. you dont have perfect skin, just like i dont have a perfect body. Deal. 

  	Its like pale women who are in total denial about being pale. I had a woman who was a natural redhead, so by natures law, she is meant to be fair skinned. Well she tanned her skin to the point were it was ruined from sun damage, but still, shes not bronzed. She had come in over the summer for a TEMPTU airbrush demo, and i colour matched her with a no 4 or 5 (out of 12). She refused, she started to throw a hissy fit. so i bumped her up to 7 (which btw, is the darkest any white woman will probably ever go, 8 is going into lighter skinned WOC for sure). It was too dark for her, obviously, and she maintained she was STILL too pale! Last week she came in, with her same "i know better than you" attitude, and complained to me and my manager about "Some pale redheaded girl who did the airbrush on me this summer" (me, she didnt recognize me) Going on and on about how horrible it was, how other people in teh line were looking at her funny because of how pale she looked (they were looking at her cause she was causing a commotion, and theyd never see airbrush). My manager (bless her) try as she might, could not make her happy, because she didnt come to us for help. She came to us to bitch. 

  	anyway, all this goes to say there are so many woman, who for one reason or another cannot deal with what they are/what they have. Instead of going to the root problem or tyheir issue, or embracing it, they fight against it, pretend they are something they're not or ignore it all together. And then, heaven forbid you give an honest opinion, your wrong and stupid. These people are unhappy in their lives for some reason, and instead of thanking you for helping, they take out their unfocused anger on you. Its sad.

  	If this friend is constantly putting you down for something you love, well, like you said, shes a frenemy. Dont keep people that bring you down around. 
  	I need to take my own advice, cause i have one too.


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## myluckypenny (Jan 30, 2011)

Mabelle said:


> anyway, all this goes to say* there are so many woman, who for one reason or another cannot deal with what they are/what they have. Instead of going to the root problem or tyheir issue, or embracing it, they fight against it, pretend they are something they're not or ignore it all together. And then, heaven forbid you give an honest opinion, your wrong and stupid. These people are unhappy in their lives for some reason, and instead of thanking you for helping, they take out their unfocused anger on you. Its sad.*


	Everyone stand up and give this woman a round of applause!  You couldn't have said it ANY better!  I hate how women are catty naturally, and we all have our moments, but goodness to those that bite off your head when you give them the very honest opinion they asked for!


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## ChynaDoll14 (Apr 4, 2011)

sillygirl82 said:


> I don't get it.  I take a live and let live approach to most life choices.  I don't care if they don't wear makeup, so why do they care if I do?
> 
> My supervisor is notorious for saying snide things.  Me and another lady like going to MAC and Sephora for lunch because they are so close.  Her famous comment is "I don't need all of that.  I have natural beauty."  Well damn, now I'm an ugmo because I like pretty colors on my face.
> 
> ChynaDoll14 you just have to learn to ignore the peanut gallery.   It's your money and it's your face.  Plus, you are correct in your assessment.  The loudest commentators are usually they ones that secretly envy they could do what you do.


	You couldny be any more correct! believe me i've learned to do with my money as I please, the last time i checked she wasnt paying my bills!, uncalled comments like that have suddenly fallen into the background for me, the other day she said something about how makeup to her is just the same as putting on clothes and socks, that she didnt see what excited me but KNEW i couldnt live without it. REALLY? WHO ASKED YOU?!, I was surprised at how fast I brushed it off. She's obviously buying makeup, the fact she's not using it properly isnt my fault.


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## User38 (Apr 4, 2011)

^^ I have a mental ignore button on all the time -- I don't like what people say, I mentally ignore them. It's the only way for me to have lived to be my age and stay sane...lol.


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## WhatWouldJoanDo (Apr 4, 2011)

She doesn't sound like a frenemy. Just a friend who is looking for a reaction.   A simple response like: 'it's something I choose, that I like' should get her to "let it go".  If she wants your opinions and help then she'll ask for it.  Models don't wear makeup because they "need" it.   Nars describes makeup as accessory for clothes - I tend to agree  I fabulous accessory !!!


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## ChynaDoll14 (Apr 4, 2011)

WhatWouldJoanDo said:


> She doesn't sound like a frenemy. Just a friend who is looking for a reaction.   A simple response like: 'it's something I choose, that I like' should get her to "let it go".  If she wants your opinions and help then she'll ask for it.  Models don't wear makeup because they "need" it.   Nars describes makeup as accessory for clothes - I tend to agree


	Agreed, Makeup does accesorize your clothes. Its the way she said it in reference to me, I guess you wouldve had to be there to get it. Believe me, the "It's something I choose" line doesnt work, I literally feel awkward when we walk into makeup stores or counters because she starts snarling and pouting. I've larned to understand her more lately, I dont say anything. I learned recently through the visit of a friend, that her problem is that she likes to be the "expert". I'm NO expert by any means and i'm learning alot on my own so I just let her be.


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## WhatWouldJoanDo (Apr 5, 2011)

sounds like you have it under control.   don't let her rain on your parade (even on the inside) ... I'd not take her in the makeup stores with you - have her wait outside LOL!!! ;-)


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## Prettypackages (Apr 5, 2011)

I'm going through this now with my mother.  Every time she gets a chance she is commenting on "I have enough makeup and brushes".  But will turn around and ask me for help.  *roll eyes* 


MAChostage said:


> In a nutshell:  don't worry about the haters.  I often wish I had more friends who enjoyed makeup as I do.  It's funny, however, to get the strange comments from them about your makeup use and purchasing, but then some of them will have the nerve to come to you when they want help wearing it!  You need to justify nothing, just enjoy what you do and have fun with it!


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## Prettypackages (Apr 6, 2011)

Mabelle said:


> I work as a MUA, and obviously need to wear a full face of makeup to work. its not always my prefrence (since i need to do it 5 days a week, i wish i could take a break).* I get people coming to me for suggestions and advice, and give me the same snotty attitude your "friend" is giving you. Women are catty. no matter the age or colour. We have people wanting full coverage concealers to cover HORRIBLE acne, the size that leaves lesions the size of a golf ball on your face, and you know its because they do not wash their face, not hormonal (ive learned to be able to tell the diffrence). *Whenever i enquire as to their skincare routine, and make a suggestion, i usually get totally blown off. As in, no, i cannot even talk to you or give you a sample of something. Ignoring the bacteria will not work. you dont have perfect skin, just like i dont have a perfect body. Deal.
> 
> Its like pale women who are in total denial about being pale. I had a woman who was a natural redhead, so by natures law, she is meant to be fair skinned. Well she tanned her skin to the point were it was ruined from sun damage, but still, shes not bronzed. She had come in over the summer for a TEMPTU airbrush demo, and i colour matched her with a no 4 or 5 (out of 12). She refused, she started to throw a hissy fit. so i bumped her up to 7 (which btw, is the darkest any white woman will probably ever go, 8 is going into lighter skinned WOC for sure). It was too dark for her, obviously, and she maintained she was STILL too pale! Last week she came in, with her same "i know better than you" attitude, and complained to me and my manager about "Some pale redheaded girl who did the airbrush on me this summer" (me, she didnt recognize me) Going on and on about how horrible it was, how other people in teh line were looking at her funny because of how pale she looked (they were looking at her cause she was causing a commotion, and theyd never see airbrush). My manager (bless her) try as she might, could not make her happy, because she didnt come to us for help. She came to us to bitch.
> 
> ...


 
	I know this is totally off topic, but could you explain this a lil bit more? I just had a bad break out and I'm trying to figure out what is causing it.


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## WhatWouldJoanDo (Apr 6, 2011)

Sounds like your mom respects your knowledge and supports the interest, but wants you to save your money.  She thinks you look perfect and have lots of gear.  That's ok.  I think I have enough, or even more than I need, it's not about need, it's about want and added enjoyment lol.


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## Prettypackages (Apr 6, 2011)

Good point, wwjd, I like your perspective.  Thanks!


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## ashtraygirl (Apr 7, 2011)

I find it really annoying when people comment upon make-up, unless its the helpful kind like warning you your mascara has smudged or something likethat... Each to their own.
  	However suffering from acne for years I found it really annoying when people would comment that I "should" wear foundation, not only did it make me more self-conscious that my acne was that obvious but also it was ignoring my choice not to wear foundation. For me I was concerned it would make my skin worse, and for boring things like school, etc.. I would not wear foundation, but on nights out/special things I would... I was very also stringent about skin care and diet and after years of various dermatologists it was finally Roaccutane that fixed it (although I have quoite a few 'shadows' left behind from spots). Grg.
  	I guess it comes down to intention. You could be offering advice, or it could be passive agressive - you know what girls are like.


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## heart (Apr 30, 2011)

My mom's approach to make-up is very minimal and conservative.  I agree with the saying "natural beauty is best" and even love how I look with hardly any product on, but I also think the monotony can be boring!  I love colorful looks and eyeshadows so when I lived with her, I ignored her comments on how I looked like an attention whore/hooker/etc.  I know I don't/didn't wear too much, she was just being a crybaby about it.  I'm sorry about your friend--ITA with the others.  She seems insecure and defensive.


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## meika79 (Jun 29, 2011)

I know I'm late but I had to add my two cents.  I hear comments from both women and men.  The women are usually, like previous people stated. just being catty.  Once a lady was asking me why I wasted my time with all that make up stuff. Talking about how it was a waste of money. blah blah blah.  I asked her how much money and time did she spend at the nail shop letting the lady apply FULL LASHES?  How long do they last?  Her reply, "Oh, but that's different."  They had the lashes so full it looked like she had those sun setter awnings applied onto her eyelids.  If she didn't come across as so close-minded I would have been happy to direct her here or to a couple of channels on youtube.

  	And the men, oh the men.  LOL. I get, "I hate that make up shit" or "I hate fake hair."  But if I show them a picture of Kim Kardashian, Beyonce or some other hot celebrity its always "That's a bad B..." When I point out the fact that these women wear more make up and hair extensions than any average woman in their area would probably see in a year, I'm a hater.

  	Once they finish their little rant/rave/sermon, I just ask one question... "Do you feel better now?"


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## karengirl1988 (Aug 18, 2011)

There is nothing wrong to wear make up, who don't want to look more pretty!
  	Be yourself, be the one that you want to to be and love to be.

  	--------
  	If one day, you lose all the confident at once, then you must be fall in love---Herve leger


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## A Gurl Can Mac (Aug 28, 2011)

I have people in my life like this all of the time. Sadly it really does seem TO ME that AA women are more judgemental, It seems like some of us talk just to hear ourselves speak.


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## Ashleybubbles83 (Oct 2, 2011)

i found it a little unnerving that i went to the mall this past weekend with a coworker who shares the same love of makeup as i do, and we had an awesome time going to MAC and Sephora, finding colors for each other and what not, and then when we met up with my best friend who is mutually known to my coworker, said bestie proceeded to turn her nose up when she 1)saw the black MAC bags and 2) saw our friend's receipt from MAC and saw how much she spent. and i made a comment that she wouldn't be looking in my bag to check my receipt either and she just grunted. that's exactly why i didn't hit you up to see if you wanted to go to the mall with me because i knew you'd be like this and i'm not trying to hear that...

  	i don't get the big deal. i don't get mad at her spending money on the things she likes to buy...what just because i'm buying something she'll never use its a problem? IT'S MY MONEY!!


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## yardgirl (Oct 28, 2011)

I try to ignore those women. I could be nasty and say "Just as how I respect your right to be a plain Jane, I would hope that you can respect my right to put whatever I want on my face"

  	But I don't. Not yet, anyway.


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## Mabelle (Oct 28, 2011)

Prettypackages said:


> I know this is totally off topic, but could you explain this a lil bit more? I just had a bad break out and I'm trying to figure out what is causing it.



 	Sorry, i realize this is a very late response. 
  	Hormonal acne tends to happen in certain areas, like, what i call the beard area. It also tends to be much deeper in the tissue, and a lot larger. So, cystic Acne.... Most people will not have what looks like cystic acne continously if there is nothing off hormonally. 

  	If you have regular sized looking breakouts, and one or two cystic or deep breakouts, i wouldnt be worried, but if you have more cystic than not, might be hormonal.


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## StyleBlack (Oct 29, 2011)

Does your bestie wear or like makeup at all?  Maybe she's jealous (?)  I don't mean that in a mean way, but maybe she wants in on the fun but doesn't know where to begin. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			








Ashleybubbles83 said:


> i found it a little unnerving that i went to the mall this past weekend with a coworker who shares the same love of makeup as i do, and we had an awesome time going to MAC and Sephora, finding colors for each other and what not, and then when we met up with my best friend who is mutually known to my coworker, said bestie proceeded to turn her nose up when she 1)saw the black MAC bags and 2) saw our friend's receipt from MAC and saw how much she spent. and i made a comment that she wouldn't be looking in my bag to check my receipt either and she just grunted. that's exactly why i didn't hit you up to see if you wanted to go to the mall with me because i knew you'd be like this and i'm not trying to hear that...
> 
> i don't get the big deal. i don't get mad at her spending money on the things she likes to buy...what just because i'm buying something she'll never use its a problem? IT'S MY MONEY!!


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## Ashleybubbles83 (Nov 1, 2011)

i've seen her buy some shadows and some pigmented lipglosses, so i know she's trying, but she is very much a no-makeup kinda girl (i dunno, i don't think she needs it, but then again she'd say the same thing about me). i think it has a lot to do with just how much i am spending on it, so i can very minimally understand where she gets mad, i just wish she wasn't as vocal about it as she is. she'd better get with it because we're probably gonna be housemates soon, and her mom sells mary kay so makeup is all around her!


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