# what men do while you're shopping...!?



## cloverette (Aug 11, 2006)

i got this as a PDF-attachment, but since i can't attach documents here, i copy/pasted its content:

Jon Walker 
Store Manager 
Kmart store 4855 
Summit Ridge, Reno, NV, 89503 

Mrs. Fenton 
35 Rasmussen Street 
Moores Park, Reno, NV, 89503 

Dear Mrs. Fenton, 

During the preceding 6 months our security staff has been monitoring your husbands activities while in our store. The list below details his offences, all of which have been verified by our surveillance cameras and we have retained copies on tape. 


We have repeatedly given your husband verbal warnings while he is in this store and he has subsequently ignored them. He replied to these warning with rudeness and the response “while the wife shops here I will come here too”. We are therefore forced to ban you, your husband and your family from this store. 

The following list details your husbands activates in this store over the past six months. 

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares and watched what happened. 

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-buy. 

September 14: Moved a 'Caution - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 

September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite the in if they'll bring pillows. 

September 23: If any staff offers him assistance he begins to cry and asks, “Why can't you people just leave me alone?” 

October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it a mirror, and picked his nose. 

November 10: While in the gun department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. 

December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 

December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna Look" using different size funnels. 

December 18: Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 

December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 

December 23: Went in the fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 

John F. Walker 
Store Manager


so... what do your boyfriends/husbands do while you're shopping?


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## browneyedbaby (Aug 11, 2006)

noooooooooo is this real... I hope so!!!


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## Shimmer (Aug 11, 2006)

I don't shop. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 Not really at least. My husband barges through pushing the basket as fast as he can and literally saying move it or lose it to people in the middle of the aisle.
When he goes grocery shopping, he don't fuck around.


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## cloverette (Aug 11, 2006)

i have no idea whether it's real or not... the letter in the pdf-document looks real (with manager's signature, telephone number etc.), but nowadays- with everything being digital- who knows!


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## Katura (Aug 11, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 
_When he goes grocery shopping, he don't fuck around._

 
hahahahahahahahahahahaha...too funny.


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## cloverette (Aug 11, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 
_I don't shop. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 Not really at least. My husband barges through pushing the basket as fast as he can and literally saying move it or lose it to people in the middle of the aisle.
When he goes grocery shopping, he don't fuck around._

 
OMG! that's hilarious!


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## Shimmer (Aug 11, 2006)

Y'all I'm not kidding. 
He's almost dangerous...and if you get in his way? He stares you down until you move. I mean, he's been known (and I'm NOT exxagerating) to glare at someone looking at bread whilst standing in the middle of the aisle and finally say "Are you waiting on them to grow more wheat? No? Ok, let me by then while you daydream..."
On one hand it's hilarious, on the other hand it's nice that he gets done w/shopping in about twenty minutes, including checkout.


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## Juneplum (Aug 11, 2006)

is that for real??? that is HYSTERICAL!!!!


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## Jaim (Aug 11, 2006)

Grocery shopping is fine with my boyfriend. He's the self-proclaimed bag boy when I'm buying fruits or veggies. But he's bad for sneaking candy and stuff in when I'm not looking.

He behaves until I go to MAC, then he makes fun. ;p If I say something like "New things! Look!" he replies with "Oh, they're all so beautiful! How will you choose which things to buy? I can barely help myself I'm just so excited!"

I went to MAC with my boyfriend and sister yesterday and we were talking about the new things and my boyfriend was saying "I agree! These are lovely!" to everything we said. Haha.


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## MxAxC-_ATTACK (Aug 11, 2006)

He Mopes around like 10 feet behind me 

I say "Are you bored do yo want to go? " 

 "no I'm Fine" 

liar. haha.


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## Shawna (Aug 11, 2006)

It is an old list from a joke page.  I wish it were real.  I think it used to be titled "fun things to do in Walmart" but I can't remember.  There was a whole page of funny lists like that.  I'll have to see if I can find the link.


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## Shawna (Aug 11, 2006)

Here's the link.  I don't see the walmart one, but the rest are pretty damn funny  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



http://www.funnyhumor.com/cats/20.php


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## Janice (Aug 11, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 
_Y'all I'm not kidding. 
 "Are you waiting on them to grow more wheat? No? Ok, let me by then while you daydream..."_

 
Gawd, you think your husband is bad? Wait till you go grocery shopping with mine. Our local HEB (grocery store) is COUNTRY and it's ALWAYS packed. Ian flies through it with a death stare on his face - glaring at anyone who gets in his way, and doesn't hesitate a SECOND to tell someone stop hogging/clogging the aisles and walkways (your husbands comment is nice compared to what comes out of Ian's mouth).... it's not pretty...


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## Shimmer (Aug 11, 2006)

Sounds like they're two of a kind really. I tell him he has 'lazer eyes'


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## MxAxC-_ATTACK (Aug 12, 2006)

I wish my b.f did that. we go to the store and he doesnt even know where to begin. . . . His mother sheltered him for tooo many years.

she did all the shopping for him. sometimes he borrows my car and i find a package of JUICE BOXES and im like .. "your mother decided you didnt know how to retrieve fluids for yourself again i see."


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## Pink_minx (Aug 18, 2006)

When my bf comes along with me to the mall he either plays with the things at the store im in.  Like in sephora he will test out stuff like open compacts, feel the makeup brushes, open and close lil make up pallettes just like he would do if he was in Best Buy testing out all the electronics.  Or if Im in a clothing store he will mope around and follow me looking all bored.

As for grocery shopping he  likes to find the cheapest food and compare it to the ones im buying and say things like im waisting money I could by this for this much and save a lot more money.  It can get annoying!


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## Lalli (Aug 18, 2006)

my bf acts like he doesnt wana be there when im buying clothes and stuff but suddenly likes to pass comments like "isnt that a lil too tight" get the longer ones or oo buy this, as for food shopping hes ok. but he really peed me off when we went to get some jeans for him every pair i picked he was like lalli i already have those to every single one, in the end i threw the jeans dwn and told him to stick his head up his arse 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 after which i got a bunch of roses hehe


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## Shimmer (Aug 18, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Pink_minx* 
_When my bf comes along with me to the mall he either plays with the things at the store im in.  Like in sephora he will test out stuff like open compacts, feel the makeup brushes, open and close lil make up pallettes just like he would do if he was in Best Buy testing out all the electronics.  Or if Im in a clothing store he will mope around and follow me looking all bored.

As for grocery shopping he  likes to find the cheapest food and compare it to the ones im buying and say things like im waisting money I could by this for this much and save a lot more money.  It can get annoying!_

 
I solved that once.

I made two grilled cheese sandwhiches. One with MY cheese and MY bread and MY butter...one with the generic stuff, and I made him taste test.
I won.


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## angelica (Aug 18, 2006)

Ive got the best advice for you guys: leave them home! Thats what I do


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## sewpunk (Aug 18, 2006)

Great posts eveyone!

Hub won't go shopping with me at all.  I am too slow.  :roll:

But if he wants to go shopping... that is another story all together.  He makes me run around looking for things that will look good on him!


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## PrettyinPink (Aug 18, 2006)

LMAO!!! That was so funny! I don't have a man in my life right now...sadly. :/


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## Eoraptor (Aug 18, 2006)

Heehee... I have SUCH a different perspective on this topic.


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## brandiisamonkey (Aug 18, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 
_I solved that once.

I made two grilled cheese sandwhiches. One with MY cheese and MY bread and MY butter...one with the generic stuff, and I made him taste test.
I won. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 

my mom once bought generic cheese slices... I went to make my lil bro a grilled cheese and the cheese NEVER melted, we then stuck a peice in the microwave and it never even bubbled, somethign is terribly wrong when that happens...

and that is why I dont eat the cheep food THERE IS A DIFFRENCE!!!!


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## Dianora (Aug 18, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 
_I don't shop. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 Not really at least. My husband barges through pushing the basket as fast as he can and literally saying move it or lose it to people in the middle of the aisle.
When he goes grocery shopping, he don't fuck around._

 
And you say that like it makes you proud? Sounds like an asshole to me.


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## ExquisiteImages (Aug 18, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Dianora* 
_And you say that like it makes you proud? Sounds like an asshole to me._

 



That is an unncessary comment to make. Be nice. This to me is a TOS violation of a very simple rule:


 Quote:

  10) Respect others views and opinions. Harassment or personal attacks will NOT be tolerated.


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## Shimmer (Aug 18, 2006)

Quote:

  and that is why I dont eat the cheep food THERE IS A DIFFRENCE!!!!  
 
There is.
Some things it's no big deal, others, it's a HUGE deal.
I prefer organic milk. NO ONE else in my household 'says' they like it, but when it's in the fridge, it's the first to go...


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## Tyester (Aug 18, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *angelica* 
_Ive got the best advice for you guys: leave them home! Thats what I do_

 
!!!

Unless you going to look at motorcycles, hunting supplies, nudie magazines or heading somewhere to eat, it's best to just leave us be. If we need to "hunt and gather" for necessities, we will.


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## Shimmer (Aug 18, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Dianora* 
_And you say that like it makes you proud? Sounds like an asshole to me._

 
*shrug* 

I'm going to remind you that when you signed on to the site, you agreed to the terms of service of the site (also known as the TOS).
I wouldn't think it was a wise thing to continue in this pattern, so, in all friendliness, consider this the warning. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	





I'm going to go a little further and say that while I recognize that the behaviour isn't the most polite of behaviours it is NECESSARY given that the propensity of today's society has such an inflated sense of self entitlement it is impossible to walk through the aisles at the market because of people stopping with their basket and taking up an entire aisle, and blocking passage for others on either side, while they ponder the greatest of all questions: "White over wheat?" "Tuna with oil or water?" "Tampax Pearl or OB?" Needless to say, standing aside whilst these decisions are made is mildly irritating the first time, but after continually finding oneself in the situation of waiting 2-7 minutes while Mr. and Mrs. Random debate the merits of Prego vs. Ragu or some similarly earthshattering debate, one can often find the temper is rising and patience is diminishing.

So, who's the real asshole here?
The guy who's trying to go through and get his job done so he can go home to his family and get work that is necessary completed, or the people meandering around disregarding others? For me, while the former can definitely BE an asshole, the latter are the ones who are actively engaging in assholery.


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## MxAxC-_ATTACK (Aug 18, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Tyester* 
_!!!

Unless you going to look at motorcycles, hunting supplies, nudie magazines or heading somewhere to eat, it's best to just leave us be. If we need to "hunt and gather" for necessities, we will._

 

Haha.. so unless were going to Motohuntporno Resturant......


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## Shimmer (Aug 18, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Tyester* 
_!!!

Unless you going to look at motorcycles, hunting supplies, nudie magazines or heading somewhere to eat, it's best to just leave us be. If we need to "hunt and gather" for necessities, we will._

 
HEY!
I like hunting supplies, nudie mags and food! You're being sexist!!!


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## Raerae (Aug 18, 2006)

Haha that gave me a great idea for the TNP thread LOL! Stay tuned!


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## MxAxC-_ATTACK (Aug 19, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 
_HEY!
I like hunting supplies, nudie mags and food! You're being sexist!!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 

Did you know that back in the 70s, 40% of the people who subscribed to playboy were Female? ..Its probably more these days.


( I watched the E! true hollywood story on Hugh Heffner)


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## faifai (Aug 19, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *brandiisamonkey* 
_my mom once bought generic cheese slices... I went to make my lil bro a grilled cheese and the cheese NEVER melted, we then stuck a peice in the microwave and it never even bubbled, somethign is terribly wrong when that happens...

and that is why I dont eat the cheep food THERE IS A DIFFRENCE!!!!_

 
OMG this happened to you too?! I thought my cheese was possessed or something, it happened to me when I was attempting to make a grilled cheese too. I then microwaved it, and...it began to inflate like foam, and then when it was done, it was very hard, twice the size it was before, cracked into flakes when flung on the floor, and tasted like a Cheese Nip. it was the most bizarre thing in the world. 

i call it the Devil Cheese, mostly because I accidentally bought several boxes when they were on sale and am STILL trying to finish it. it tastes fine unheated in food, but lord help you if you try to cook it. Kraft singles are the way to go for processed cheese that still resembles...cheese.

as for the actual question of this thread, my SO is such a darling, he follows me around dutifully holding my bags and buying me things. he sits patiently when i go into Windsor and try on evening dresses for the hell of it, and tells me I look beautiful in everything. he takes obliging sniffs in candle stores although he despises candles and likes going with me to look for discontinued eyeshadow at the local bargain store. he volunteers to take me shoe shopping and tells me his opinion on which make me look the best. he's perfect...

except when he's seized by a random and mad desire to go look at videogames. sometimes he just puts everything down and wanders out of the store and i have to call him half an hour later to find him in the mall, and i always find that he went to the comic book store/bookstore/videogame store. it's so weird!


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## MAC_Whore (Aug 19, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *MxAxC-_ATTACK* 
_Haha.. so unless were going to Motohuntporno Resturant......_

 
OMG!  I just laughed my ass off!  Too funny!!!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I am picturing this restaurant.  

-Hot, nude chics ride around on motorbikes to bring you hunting supplies to your table.  
-Then you can kill the wild game wandering around the restaurant.  
-Then the hot chics bbq your kill in the nude (keeping a safe distance from the heat, of course) and bring it to you with lots of beer.  

Of course this joint has huge big-screen t.v.s playing Jenna Jamison's greatest hits.  Man, I could make a million if I developed this restaurant!


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## User34 (Aug 19, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *PrettyinPink* 
_LMAO!!! That was so funny! I don't have a man in my life right now...sadly. :/_

 
don't be so sad.. somtimes it's a good thing!


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## Shimmer (Aug 19, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *MAC_Whore* 
_OMG!  I just laughed my ass off!  Too funny!!!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I am picturing this restaurant.  

-Hot, nude chics ride around on motorbikes to bring you hunting supplies to your table.  
-Then you can kill the wild game wandering around the restaurant.  
-Then the hot chics bbq your kill in the nude (keeping a safe distance from the heat, of course) and bring it to you with lots of beer.  

Of course this joint has huge big-screen t.v.s playing Jenna Jamison's greatest hits.  Man, I could make a million if I developed this restaurant!_

 
Indeed.


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## Tyester (Aug 19, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 
_HEY!
I like hunting supplies, nudie mags and food! You're being sexist!!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
Sexist?

No way, I welcome any girl to come along. That just means the shopping is gunna be fun.


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## Tyester (Aug 19, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *MAC_Whore* 
_OMG!  I just laughed my ass off!  Too funny!!!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I am picturing this restaurant.  

-Hot, nude chics ride around on motorbikes to bring you hunting supplies to your table.  
-Then you can kill the wild game wandering around the restaurant.  
-Then the hot chics bbq your kill in the nude (keeping a safe distance from the heat, of course) and bring it to you with lots of beer.  

Of course this joint has huge big-screen t.v.s playing Jenna Jamison's greatest hits.  Man, I could make a million if I developed this restaurant!_

 
Not unless I build it first...


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## Shimmer (Aug 19, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Tyester* 
_Sexist?

No way, I welcome any girl to come along. That just means the shopping is gunna be fun._

 
Seriously I'm the worst in the world at places like that. 
One of my Sonic carhops and I have a running joke that she owes me a lapdance before I'll give her a tip, so when I know she's working I tell the person taking my order to send her out so she can give me 'the special' 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




  She's got good humor about it so it's all good, but my brother even says I'm exactly like him, but with girl parts


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## Tyester (Aug 19, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 
_Seriously I'm the worst in the world at places like that. 
One of my Sonic carhops and I have a running joke that she owes me a lapdance before I'll give her a tip, so when I know she's working I tell the person taking my order to send her out so she can give me 'the special' 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




  She's got good humor about it so it's all good, but my brother even says I'm exactly like him, but with girl parts 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_


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## Shimmer (Aug 19, 2006)

It definitely has its moments of "OH my GOD Jamie did you REALLY just say that???"


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## brandiisamonkey (Aug 19, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *faifai* 
_OMG this happened to you too?! I thought my cheese was possessed or something, it happened to me when I was attempting to make a grilled cheese too. I then microwaved it, and...it began to inflate like foam, and then when it was done, it was very hard, twice the size it was before, cracked into flakes when flung on the floor, and tasted like a Cheese Nip. it was the most bizarre thing in the world. 

i call it the Devil Cheese, mostly because I accidentally bought several boxes when they were on sale and am STILL trying to finish it. it tastes fine unheated in food, but lord help you if you try to cook it. Kraft singles are the way to go for processed cheese that still resembles...cheese._

 

holy crap I cant believe you were brave enough to eat it lol... 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 I was terrified after that


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## MAC_Whore (Aug 19, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 
_Seriously I'm the worst in the world at places like that. 
One of my Sonic carhops and I have a running joke that she owes me a lapdance before I'll give her a tip, so when I know she's working I tell the person taking my order to send her out so she can give me 'the special' 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




  She's got good humor about it so it's all good, but my brother even says I'm exactly like him, but with girl parts 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
Shimmer, I'll say it again: It's like we were twins seperated at birth!


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## Makeupluvr (Aug 19, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 
_*shrug* 

I'm going to remind you that when you signed on to the site, you agreed to the terms of service of the site (also known as the TOS).
I wouldn't think it was a wise thing to continue in this pattern, so, in all friendliness, consider this the warning. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	





I'm going to go a little further and say that while I recognize that the behaviour isn't the most polite of behaviours it is NECESSARY given that the propensity of today's society has such an inflated sense of self entitlement it is impossible to walk through the aisles at the market because of people stopping with their basket and taking up an entire aisle, and blocking passage for others on either side, while they ponder the greatest of all questions: "White over wheat?" "Tuna with oil or water?" "Tampax Pearl or OB?" Needless to say, standing aside whilst these decisions are made is mildly irritating the first time, but after continually finding oneself in the situation of waiting 2-7 minutes while Mr. and Mrs. Random debate the merits of Prego vs. Ragu or some similarly earthshattering debate, one can often find the temper is rising and patience is diminishing.

So, who's the real asshole here?
The guy who's trying to go through and get his job done so he can go home to his family and get work that is necessary completed, or the people meandering around disregarding others? For me, while the former can definitely BE an asshole, the latter are the ones who are actively engaging in assholery._

 
LOL, assholery!  HA HA HA!!!!!  That is HILLARIOUS!  The top part was very well written too.  

And I keep meaning to write you to say that your avitar is FREAKIN' HOT!  Who's body is that?  She is ABSOLUTELY rockin'!

And your other post, "with girl parts" LOL.  You are too funny


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## Shimmer (Aug 19, 2006)

lol well, I don't know who the avatar is unfortunately but yeah, she's smokin hot and then some >


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## Shimmer (Aug 19, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *shimmer's husband* 
_I suppose that I can be described as an a-hole.  In fact I think of myself as one often.  You see when I’m in public I do my very best to exhibit a certain respect for my fellow man.  I try not to invade their space, I do my best to drive politely, I even hold the door open for ladies and other store patrons.  However when I am forced to shop be it for groceries, school clothes, or even lawn supplies, I know and I mean I KNOW what I’m there to get.   


The following behaviors from other patrons annoy me to no end. 


The hundred meter mosey.  I’m on my way to aisle 1 to start my shopping experience.  In aisle 1 I am going to get Dr. Peppers, milk, and eggs.  At 42 years of age I know exactly the brand of eggs I want and how many before I even get to the chicken embryos.  Fat mom and herd of children are walking across the aisle blocking my access or all passing routes at the pace that would make a tortoise go ‘damn they’re moving slow’.  Regardless of the fact that it’s obvious I’m back there and have a place to go they do not allow me to pass.  I’m not happy at this point and am considering using one of her offspring as a speed bump for my cart. 


The ‘I don’t know what I wanters’.  The happens far too often on the meat and spice aisles.  I want chicken breasts. The 8 pack of chicken breasts with which I will cook a variety of meals for my family.  Chicken comes with or without bones and there are options of breasts, thighs, whole chickens.  HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE TO STAND THERE BLOCKING THE AISLE WITH YOUR FAT BUTT ON ONE SIDE AND YOUR CART ON THE OTHER TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND?  Further that if you see me standing there with the obvious intent to move past you use the forces that it takes to get your leviathan like butt out of the way for the two seconds that it takes me to walk by, grab the 8 pack, and be gone.  But no you just keep standing there debating on the question that has plagued mankind forever.  Boneless or with bones. 


The stockboy who doesn’t care.  Yes I know you are making minimum wage and my state of mind is of absolutely no concern to you but for the love of God man leave an aisle in front of the beer.  Again I know what I want.  A 30 pack of keystone.  ITS RIGHT THERE and all I have to do is make a walk around the block or grab my climbing gear and go over Mt St Charmin’s dropping on you on the other side. 


The ‘oops I bought too muchers’.  Come on now.  If you’ve only got $100 worth of food stamps you can not, in this day and age, fill a cart to the brim with prime rib and pineapples.  Get the basics and don’t tell the checker to stop at $100.  Guess what you’re stupid AND rude.  Please don’t compound this by asking the checker to take 3 jars of baby food out so you can buy the latest edition of Cosmo.  


The Lotto Loon.  Okay not in a grocery store but in a quick mart or 7-11.  Again I know what I want.  A 12 pack, can of snuff, some candy for the wife and kids and I can pick it up in 3 minutes flat.  So what do I get?  A REASONABLE person who knows that they want the break the bank and a jackpot 6?  NOOOOOOOOO… I get the toothless welfare loon who wants a ‘I want a (60 second pause) break the bank, a (60 second pause) Texas jackpot, a Scratch Six no wait (2 minute pause) and a oh wait (counts change in pockets) ya a Jackpot Lilly’ 


Do keep in mind this is the short list of things that irritate me at stores I could add more but I want to go drive my little cartoon airplane around and shoot other guys in little cartoon airplanes.  


So if I by giving you the glare of death because you have, by your rudeness and stupidity, earned it am and a-hole so be it.  I am.  I can live with that title because I have a wife I worship to the point that she doesn’t have to cook, grocery shop, or any number of the mundane things that most wives are expected to do and by doing so frees her up to engage in recreational pursuits like makeup sites and painting her face in ever more interesting ways which makes her happy.  Kids that I spoil in every way I can because as I worship her I worship them just as much and do things for that make them happy.  And I also have three dogs that I’m really fond of and try to find time to hug and pet them daily because that makes them happy.   


You just got the glare of death because you have taken time out of my life that I could be spending with them which makes ME happy. 


Maybe its just that you don’t know me 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
I had to read this thread to him, because I was laughing so hard, and this was his response.


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## Urbana (Aug 20, 2006)

thats so funny! i know a similar one, but in spanish, and the name is '10 things to do while you are in a departament store' its hillarious!!
and also i love '13 ways to order a pizza', in spanish too...


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## queenofdisaster (Aug 21, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 
_I don't shop. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 Not really at least. My husband barges through pushing the basket as fast as he can and literally saying move it or lose it to people in the middle of the aisle.
When he goes grocery shopping, he don't fuck around._

 
THAT was my husband with the stroller at the mall yesterday. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 HAHAHAHA! It was so funny b/c we were getting so pissed off at people. I hate how disrespectful they are at the mall and especially at WALMART!!!!!!!! ARGH!


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## queenofdisaster (Aug 21, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer's Husband* 
_Do keep in mind this is the short list of things that irritate me at stores I could add more but I want to go drive my little cartoon airplane around and shoot other guys in little cartoon airplanes._

 
 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 
_ I had to read this thread to him, because I was laughing so hard, and this was his response. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
your husband is a lot like mine... that's hilarious and it's very true... 
i hate how people block aisles and pretend you're not there until the 5th freakin time you ever-so-politely say "excuse me" and finally have to scream "MOOOOVEEEEEE!!!!"


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## Shimmer (Aug 21, 2006)

Normally, he's really polite, very articulate and quite considerate.
However these behaviours listed above will drive him to the edge of insanity with a rapidity unlike any other.


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## queenofdisaster (Aug 21, 2006)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 
_Normally, he's really polite, very articulate and quite considerate.
However these behaviours listed above will drive him to the edge of insanity with a rapidity unlike any other. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


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i had to make my husband pause the television so i could read your husband's story to him. he was rollin... he's like "thats my kinda guy!!"


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## Shimmer (Aug 22, 2006)

You should hear some of the stuff we come up with. It's patently offensive and unbelievably crude.


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## eowyn797 (Aug 22, 2006)

I think my boyfriend is secretly a girl. he tries to hide it, tho. 

eg: every time we go to the MAC counter, i bounce around gleefully, swatching things, fondling, drooling, etc...and he stands there looking extremely bored, occasionally handing me things, seemingly at random, to try on. after 15 minutes of this i will turn to him and say "if you're bored, we can go" and he'll reply with, "nono, i'm just waiting for the makeup chick (by which me means MA) to be free so i can ask her to make me look like Captian Jack...this place does the makeup in that movie, right?" and then hand me something else to try on.

every SINGLE time we go, he says this at some point, yet he never actually asks them to help him 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 and when we're sitting around at home, he has now taken up looking through forums to see if anyone has posted how to put together a Captain Jack look with MAC stuff...

i almost never take him clothes shopping because that's just a disaster. but then i hate clothes shopping with *anyone*. it take me hours and hours to try things on and decide.

but jewlery shopping? again, his inner girl comes out and he's grabbing things left and right all "try this one...OHWAITNO try THIS one! SHINY!"


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