# How to deal with family and friends feeling obliged?



## pinkvanilla (Jan 5, 2010)

Hi everyone 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





I'm only just starting out my career and I'm looking to get more bridal work. I was having a talk with my husband about it and he mentioned our friends that are getting married in July and if the bride knows I am trying to get makeup work. I said I wasn't sure but it got me thinking.

I would LOVE to do her makeup but I don't want her to feel obliged just because I'm her friend. How do I deal with this? I don't want to bring it up and her think that I'm trying to get out of doing it. Do I offer to do it? Do I wait for her to come to me?

I obviously want her to choose the best MUA for her and if that is not me then there is not hard feelings 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Also, in the event she does ask me to do it, I'd like to do it for free as her fiance and my husband have been best friends for years and I quite like her. Do I charge for the bridal party?

Sorry for all the questions but this is all just whirling around in my head at the moment


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## Strawberrymold (Jan 5, 2010)

I would just charge a lower fee than you normally would for the bridal party, and I would charge the bride too. I would doubt that his friends family is expecting you to charge nothing. 

Don't doubt your skills! They are asking you to perform a service just like any other client so why wouldn't you be right for the job? Stay professional and contact her, agree on the details and go for it!

Doing weddings for friends is awesome, not only does it bring you closer to the people you love, but they also give you better photo selection too!


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## gildedangel (Jan 5, 2010)

If she asks you to do the makeup then she wants you to! Don't doubt your skills as a makeup artist! I agree with Strawberrymold I would charge everyone, but less than you normally would.


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## ShugAvery2001 (Jan 6, 2010)

If it were for a good friend or a relative, I'd do it for free... just saying

you build your business by the quality of your work. so if you do an outstanding job, and her wedding photos come out flawless, I'm sure she'd refer her friends to you. 

It's not about how great of a makeup artist you are.

A lot of makeup artist will do the face for the sake of the do ...especially if they're still in that (working up to build a portfolio etc. phase) Offer to do it for her. Any professional artist would do a test before any contracts are signed, so do a test for her so that she can see if SHE wants you to do it or go with someone else and make sure to give her that option because this will be a VERY important day for her. if the wedding photos come out great, then that'd be great for port and in the same time, you'd have build a relationship that could potentially come with referrals for paid work.

me (and i'm just saying me) i have no problem doing makeup for family and friends (time permitting) because they let me try out looks on them or whatever and when we walk out together and they look great I get paid referrals. I mean think about how kevin acuion (sp) always put his sister and mother and friends in his books... any money he did them for free when he could (you know when he wasn't working on a paid gig or whatever)


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## pinkvanilla (Jan 7, 2010)

Thank you so much for your replies 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




You all make some great points. I will have a talk with her and see what she wants to do!


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## pinklemonade (Jan 26, 2010)

If it's my friend getting married I always do the makeup totally free of charge in lieu of a wedding gift. It's good when you are starting out too for a couple of reasons:

1) people get married in packs - I'm sure she has friends or rellies she can recommend you to for paid work.
2) you can chase up professional pics from the photographer a lot easier if you know the bride and groom personally.
3) saves you having to buy a gift!

That's my personal take on it anyway.


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## pinkvanilla (Jan 27, 2010)

Thanks Pinklemonade 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 That was kind of my take on it too. I know a MUA who doesn't do makeup for free or cheap, even for friends, and I don't think I can do that. Besides, if they had something to offer that I wanted, I'd want mates rates lol.


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## aninhabr85 (Jan 28, 2010)

If she is a close friend and you are just starting out you could do for free but offer a trial as well to make sure you guys are in the same page.
BUT if shes not that close you might charge her a lower fee just for your time and products you will use.. but don't get used in doing this though. I always charge for makeup now... even for friends. Its is YOUR career and you want to be taken seriously. They wouldn't do their jobs for free. Makeup is no different!


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## boudoirblonde (Feb 23, 2010)

Regarding doing it for free for friends: I've done it a couple of times, and each time I've regretted it.  They still get a trial (one friend wanted a trial for all 3 bridesmaids also!), and being your friend I've found they can be a lot bossier than clients.  Also, if you do offer to do it for free, be careful about being roped into doing other guests as well - mother of the bride, mother of the groom, flowergirls and aunties, sisters, etc - because you might end up doing make-up all day and not enjoying the actual wedding!


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## howleekorian (Feb 25, 2010)

Depending on how close you two are, I would do her makeup free. Most likely and your husband will be invited to the wedding and doing her makeup can serve as the gift. I would charge a discounted rate to the bridal party. 

You should definitely bring it up to her. She might be feeling the same anxiety and may want you to do her makeup, but doesn't want to ask because she is worried that you may think she wants it done for free. Just let her know you are interested and by what date you would need to know and give her a layout of what you would provide/ your cost.


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## LC (Feb 27, 2010)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *pinkvanilla* 

 
_Hi everyone 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I'm only just starting out my career and I'm looking to get more bridal work. I was having a talk with my husband about it and he mentioned our friends that are getting married in July and if the bride knows I am trying to get makeup work. I said I wasn't sure but it got me thinking.

I would LOVE to do her makeup but I don't want her to feel obliged just because I'm her friend. How do I deal with this? I don't want to bring it up and her think that I'm trying to get out of doing it. Do I offer to do it? Do I wait for her to come to me?

I obviously want her to choose the best MUA for her and if that is not me then there is not hard feelings 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Also, in the event she does ask me to do it, I'd like to do it for free as her fiance and my husband have been best friends for years and I quite like her. Do I charge for the bridal party?

Sorry for all the questions but this is all just whirling around in my head at the moment 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
Girlfriend,

Tell her that you'd love to do her makeup for free as her wedding gift. 99% of the time she'll still tip you.  Take the opportunity and use it as practice. I always tells friends and family I'll do it as their wedding gift, and if they refuse that, then I tell them I'll do it for 50% off what I'd normally charge


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