# Professional vs. Unprofessional



## ImMACnificent (May 6, 2009)

I had a little situation with my boss Monday.

It's hard to describe unless you really WORK with me and know how our agency is ran but... the scenario is, our agency is 24/7 crisis for any person who is suicidal in our county. Basically, if they walk in, no matter what, we have to take the client and assess.

Anyway, I was in a very dramatic session with 2 of my clients who are dating, both trying to stay clean from heroin and are having difficulties. I had the girl in my office crying while her boyfriend sat next to her basically just emotionless as she cried. 

Apparently there was 2 crises in our agency, so my boss CALLS my phone in the middle of my counseling session (In my one year of working there I have NEVER seen anyone do this). She calls and says "I know you're in session, but how much longer do you think you'll be because I need you for crisis". Meanwhile, there are at least 5 other counselors in the agency that could have been interrupted or asked to do it. But, instead she interrupts my very intense session with my 2 clients.

I was not so much upset by the interruption (although that sucked) but more by the whole "how much longer do you think you'll be". I mean, I felt SO rushed. So, my assertive personality, I said "I think it's really rude that you are interrupting me". She was obviously mad and just said "Ill talk to you later" and hung up. After that, my clients just sat there like "uhhhh" and I lost COMPLETELY engagement in the session because of the interruption. Not to mention I felt RUSHED. 

The next day (yesterday), my boss calls me in her office, she basically refused to apologize for HOW she interrupted me and told me I was unprofessional for "speaking to her" in that way because she is my boss. Granted, telling her I thought it was rude was PROBABLY not the wisest choice of words, but she NEVER admitted that how she APPROACHED me was wrong in any way. "How much longer do you think youll be" in a freaking COUNSELING session. I felt she was on this administrative high horse about her position when really, I would have respected her more if she just said "that hurt my feelings as a person". I ended up apologizing mainly to please her, although I felt I stood up for myself NOT TO MENTION my clients because had I said "oh yeah Ill be done any minute now", they would have felt unimportant and the reason I do my job is BECAUSE I care about my client's. 

Was I completely wrong? Am I being stubborn? Is it completely "unprofessional" to tell your boss you feel they are being rude to you? Comments? Thanks, guys


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## Shimmer (May 6, 2009)

What your boss did was unprofessional, but you (as her subordinate) will have to figure out how to deal with that without usurping her (real or perceived) authority.


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## ImMACnificent (May 6, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_What your boss did was unprofessional, but you (as her subordinate) will have to figure out how to deal with that without usurping her (real or perceived) authority._

 

Which is difficult to do... she is a very condescending person when she speaks to you. It's hard not to feel defensive. Grrr. Personality differences in the work place.

Thanks for the input, though.


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## MACATTAK (May 7, 2009)

I've noticed that a lot of times, it's not what you say, but the way you say it, and timing.  I agree that what she did was unprofessional, but I would have calmly told her I would be out as soon as I was done, and then talked to her about it later instead of mentioning how rude it was in front of the clients.


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## juicygirl (May 7, 2009)

this is a somewhat sticky situation but bottom line, i think you should have just said something along the line "i'm on it" or something like that which would convey that you got her message of her wanting you to hurry so you could do another counseling job and so that your counselees would not have heard that you were being rushed. also, it sounds like to me that maybe your boss thinks you are a good counselor and that's why she wanted you to work on the other case as well and just wanted you to be aware that there was another client waiting for you. i agree with macattack and shimmer though that there's a way to say things especially to your boss no matter if you feel that it's the right or wrong way to handle it. =]


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## kariii (May 7, 2009)

I would have just said "I will let you know as soon as I'm done" and hung up. I don't believe there is anything wrong with " I think it's rude you're interrupting me" But to her it could come across as rude, especially with tone of voice and for all you know she could have not known u were in a session


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## Lauren1981 (May 7, 2009)

i don't know if calling her rude was the wisest just simply because she's your authority.
and i wouldn't call her unprofessional, i'd actually call her a heartless b*tch. i'm sorry but if you work in a crisis center and are emotionally unattached that much, then maybe you (meaning her, not you) shouldnt be working there. to me it shows how much she doesn't really value what she does as far as really caring for the well-being and improvement of your patients. 
but maybe calling her rude opened her eyes a bit. of course she would never admit that to you but in a sense, maybe she needed to hear it 
don't know
but she sounds like a bitch to me


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## ImMACnificent (May 7, 2009)

Thanks for all the input guys. I agree with it all.

I ended up going to our clinical director to talk about it. Not to get her in trouble, but mainly to go ahead and let her know of the situation and also so that she could talk to my boss about handling these crisis a little more smoothly. 

Our clinical director agreed that nobody should be interrupted like that in a counseling session. I hope that this comes up in their program director's meeting so that they can smooth out all of the bumps in the road with how everyone there (not just me) is so frustrated with everyone having to cancel and interrupt sessions for crisis. Especially considering we have two people who are 80% of the time there to DO crisis.

Again, thanks for the input. I really respect everyone's opinion on here 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 Even if sometimes I know I'm in the wrong.


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## ClaireAvril (May 8, 2009)

It was kinda rude of your boss.. but I would never tell my boss they were rude in front of a client.  The people in front of you can't hear what your boss said.. but they heard you.  I would have just said as soon as possible or something along those lines, then deal with a polite way to speak to my boss about calling me when i'm in a session.  And like juicygirl said.. maybe its a compliment - your boss may think you're the best person to deal with the other client.  I would just appologize and see if i can reason with my boss and not escalate the situation any further.


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## ImMACnificent (May 8, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *kariii* 

 
_I would have just said "I will let you know as soon as I'm done" and hung up. I don't believe there is anything wrong with " I think it's rude you're interrupting me" But to her it could come across as rude, especially with tone of voice and for all you know she could have not known u were in a session 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 

karrii, she did know I was in session, hence why she said "how much longer do you think youll be". She looked in my books and knew I had someone in with me.


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## ImMACnificent (May 8, 2009)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *ClaireAvril* 

 
_It was kinda rude of your boss.. but I would never tell my boss they were rude in front of a client.  The people in front of you can't hear what your boss said.. but they heard you.  I would have just said as soon as possible or something along those lines, then deal with a polite way to speak to my boss about calling me when i'm in a session.  And like juicygirl said.. maybe its a compliment - your boss may think you're the best person to deal with the other client.  I would just appologize and see if i can reason with my boss and not escalate the situation any further._

 

I did apologize, and I was upset to hear that she took no wrong in the matter. She felt she had every right in the world to interrupt me.

Hence why I spoke with our clinical director. I think no one in that building should have to be interrupted in a session unless ABSOLUTELY necessary, like a medical emergency, family emergency, etc.

As I said above, I feel that had I said "oh Ill be done as soon as possible" is VERY disrespectful to my clients because at that point, they feel that their session was not valuable to me and that I would try to "wrap it up" as soon as I could. Which is not a way to build a repor with your client.


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