# Control your brats.



## Shimmer (Feb 6, 2008)

Dear people who aren't me who chose to breed:

Control your fucking spawn when they're out in public. At no point in time should I ever have to worry about some brat in a pair of Heelies running me down in the aisle. In fact, the next time your little demon seed runs into me? I'm pushing the little fucker down.

You nimrods are so afraid to discipline your children, terrified they won't like you or be your friend anymore, you're effectively handicapping them for life. They've got no coping skills, no interacting mechanisms, and no ability to empathize or relate to another person on a mental, intellectual, or emotional level.

Teach your kids some fucking respect, for themselves and for strangers. Teach them that when Momma says "Stop it, before I take you to the bathroom.", it fucking means something. You don't have to beat them, there's a world of difference between effective applied force in a controlled manner to stop an undesirable behaviour and beating a child. Learn it, live it, love it. I guarantee you, take little Susie or Jose into the bathroom and wear his ass out a few times, and he'll stop that running around/tearing into toys/knocking strangers over bullshit.

Teach your kids about what it means to deal with the word "No", and that hearing that word doesn't mean the end of the world is nigh.

Shut their fucking smart mouths up. I'm sick to death of hearing 9 year olds backtalk their moms. Slap his teeth down his throat, give him consistent discipline and have a set of expectations for his little pseudo emo adolescent ass. Teach him to mow the yard, take out the trash, and keep that fucking nasty bedroom clean.
Make your 14 year olds cover their tits, too, while you're at it. And buy her some pants that fit. A 4" gap of skin over the belt and under the bottom hem of her t-shirt, particularly when it's filled by the flesh equivalent of a bag of dog food wrapped around her waist, don't exactly scream "Hey! Guys respect me, I ain't playin'!" It actually kind of screams "Look at me! I put out! And suck dick!" because that's probably the only attention they know how to get from a male, thanks to the unbelievable Daddy Issues this generation of female is growing up with.

And finally, the next time your brat runs across my path, causing me to simultaneously stump my toe and hit my elbow, don't be surprised if I later on swing back by and plow the little bastard with the side of my shopping cart. I won't be looking to avoid him in the future.


Best,
Me.




P.S. If I ever find the motherfucker who created Heelies, I'm going to beat him within an inch of his life with one of those fucking shoes.


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## triccc (Feb 6, 2008)




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## Divinity (Feb 6, 2008)

WOW....Amen sister!


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## prettygirl (Feb 6, 2008)

i second that amen.


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## Shimmer (Feb 6, 2008)

Don't get me wrong, I have kids, and if I saw my kids acting the way I saw some of these kids acting tonight, I'd drag them to the bathroom by their ear and make sure they saw the error of their ways.


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## MiCHiE (Feb 6, 2008)

Amen, Shimmer.


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## pahblov (Feb 7, 2008)

Let's be best friends.


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## Tashona Helena (Feb 7, 2008)

haha amen to the heelies comment...I hate those things.


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## ilovecheese (Feb 7, 2008)

Amen to that!






One tight slap would hurt less than knowing you had shitty behavioured kids!


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## MACisME (Feb 7, 2008)

HALLELUJAH!!!!! i hate kids.. hahaha


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## clslvr6spd (Feb 7, 2008)

Amen!!!! Parents need to stop coddling their children...


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## *KT* (Feb 7, 2008)

OMFG, yes!  Especially to the heelies.  Just yesterday, I saw a store employee at Costco stop a kid with heelies who was zipping down the aisles  and ask him "Ok, where's your  mom?"  She hauled his butt back to his mother and told her that he had to stay with her at all times and that they didn't want to catch him "skating down the aisles".  As tempting as it was, I didn't cheer... at least not out loud.

We had a kid in the office last week who screamed the whole time they were trying on glasses.  He gave me a headache from behind the closed doors of my office.  Literally screamed for like 20 minutes.  The poor optician couldn't even lean towards him without him screaming bloody murder.  The mom says, "Oh, he does this all the time." and then later says, "So is this like your first time helping a crying child?"  Told her she should have responded, "I've just never helped Damien get new glasses."  And no, he wasn't a special needs child, perfectly normal if you don't count being satan spawn.


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## FullWroth (Feb 7, 2008)

AMEN! x100


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## jd-jd (Feb 7, 2008)

Re the screaming myopic child: the optician should have ushered Mom and brat out of the office. "He'll get fitted when he stops having a fit, not before. Or find another optician." 

I don't put up with ANYTHING anymore. You mess up in my office, yer out.


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## *KT* (Feb 7, 2008)

Personally, I probably would have said, "You're going to want to come back another day when he's able to cooperate." and walked away.  She's much too nice to do that, but holy hell, that kid made me want to stab myself in the ears with a pen!


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## MACATTAK (Feb 7, 2008)

Yes, yes, and yes!!!!!!!  I have a friend who has 3 uncontrollable kids, and a new baby...so make that 4.  She''s even considering another one.  It's very embarrasing to be out in public with her when she has these out-of-control kids with her.  The kids run up and down isles screaming, and people give me evil stares.  Her younger one has no problem yelling out loud that the lady in front of us has messed up teeth..the friend laughs it off.  I stand there red faced.  Too many incidents, too many awkward moments have made me make up plans to avoid seeing her.  I don't have children, and while I don't know how hard it is to raise children, I can't fathom that this is the correct way.  I've heard her being praised for making motherhood look so painless and easy, the fact is she doesn't control her kids and that's why it's so easy.  Sorry about my long rant, but yeah.

And for Shimmer, I love the way you are able to write and make things flow, being both amusing and factual at the same time.  You should be a writer!


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## kblakes (Feb 7, 2008)

Thank you Shimmer!  You are awesome.  I hate screaming little brats.  I always give the brats and their worthless parents the evil eye.


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## prinzessin784 (Feb 7, 2008)

hahaha I love you


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## CantAffordMAC (Feb 7, 2008)

I HATE heelies. Seriously...I worked at a convenient store and all these damn kids were coming in wheeling around the store. When you slip and fall, don't blame me. What the hell is up with those? They _suck._

I was at the barbershop with my boyfriend and this lady was in there with her son. This little fucking boy sat right next to me, and kept hitting me. Not hard, just like taps. It was really fucking annoying. I didn't want to be rude but I seriously should've said something to the girl. "Excuse me, can you please get your son???" She kept calling his name and telling him to stop, but the little bastard wouldn't. Then he gets in the barber chair and picks his nose for the next 45 minutes.

Last but not least, me and my boyfriend were in the mall. Theres a long hallway that leads to the bathrooms. So he went to the bathroom, I waited in the hall. All the way at the end of the hall this lady and a guy are having a conversation. A kid is Heely-ing all up and down the hallway. So all of a sudden this other lady comes up to the lady having a conversation, and says "Did you fucking try to trip my niece??" The lady says "No, what are you talking about?" 
"yes you did, you fucking try to trip her....why would you do that to a little kid, are you that immature??"

"I didn't trip your fucking niece"

The little girl says "yes YOU DID"

The lady then says "Maybe if she wasn't fucking skating all over the place it wouldn't have happened"

_Hilarious._


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## CantAffordMAC (Feb 7, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by **KT** 

 
_Told her she should have responded, "I've just never helped Damien get new glasses."_

 
Wow. That was HILARIOUS


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## breechan (Feb 7, 2008)

I'm in a kind of interesting situation. I live in rural Japan, where caucasian females are quite the rarity. To these people, seeing me is like seeing a wild elephant (or so their reaction would suggest). Pretty much every time I'm out and about at the grocery store or on a train, kids will do any combination of the following:

-staring
-pointing 
-whispering while staring
-saying things about me
-grab their mom and say "LOOK MOM! A FOREIGNER!!" in Japanese.

Where I'm from, we teach kids not to point, stare, or make fun of people who are different (race, large birthmarks, disabled etc). However, I'm in the country where "The peg that sticks out is nailed in." 

When I'm in a bad mood and just want to get my shit done, the last thing I want to hear is "OMG A FOREIGNER! WOW WHAT A BIG NOSE! LOOK AT HER BROWN HAIR! SHE MUST BE FROM AMERIKA!" 

So many times I just want to tell them *"Don't you teach your kids that its rude to stare/talk about people like that?!" 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			



*But I usually just give them the evil eye since saying such a rude thing would reflect not only on me, but all of my country's people and the rest of the western world. 

Oh, and I get quite a few of the whispers and dirty stares from *old biddies too*. 

Sorry for the rant, I just get really sick of it sometimes.


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## redambition (Feb 7, 2008)

thank you Shimmer. I hate devil spawn children and idiot parents.


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## ArsenicKiss (Feb 7, 2008)

The only sick pleasure I derive from Heelies comes from every time I see some poorly behaved Devil Spawn take a spill down an escalator in a department store because they're playing on the nice buffed floor in their Heelies. 

Personally, I think its a brilliant learning experience for them. Do something stupid, and you might get hurt.


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## flowerhead (Feb 7, 2008)

..you should write a book


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## Willa (Feb 7, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *flowerhead* 

 
_..you should write a book_

 
And I would WITH PLEASURE pass it to those parents...

Is it me who is too old or when I was young, I never EVER talk like that to my parents. Ok, I had 2 or 3 friends in my whole life who were talking sh*t to their parents, like saying f*ck you and stuff like that... But me, I never did. Had respect for them.

It is sad to see that, but I guess our childrens wont be like that, mine wont... believe me! No way I'll be your best friend, you will be my child, and I will be your mother.


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## Shimmer (Feb 7, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Willa* 

 
_And I would WITH PLEASURE pass it to those parents...

Is it me who is too old or when I was young, I never EVER talk like that to my parents. Ok, I had 2 or 3 friends in my whole life who were talking sh*t to their parents, like saying f*ck you and stuff like that... But me, I never did. Had respect for them.

It is sad to see that, but I guess our childrens wont be like that, mine wont... believe me! No way I'll be your best friend, you will be my child, and I will be your mother._

 
My daughter's teacher didn't know what to make of my parenting style.


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## Willa (Feb 7, 2008)

I totally see what you mean

The same thing happened in school...
The teachers became friends to the kids, no more authority involved. No wonder why kids aren't educated like they should.

Here, its a total mess.
Right now the government came up, just yesterday, with a new ''law'' for education. But the thing is, we use to do that when I was in school!!! I just don't understand why they changed their way 10 years ago.

They said kids would have to read each day in class, have more gramatical tests, have dictation each day too and such.

I know its not a ''parent'' thing, but a whole generation of kids cannot right 2 sentences without making errors. And when you tell them that it is not normal not knowing it, they argue back with the fact that they don't care, ''it's just internet'' I can write a whole text without errors... Yeah right...

And what about those kids spitting on the floor, on private properties, stealing, doing weird sexual stuff at the age of 11... My neighbor's son and his friend went to the church 2 streets from our house and they vandalized everything!!! They got caught and he got grounded for the rest of the summer. I saw him beating his father, spitting on him and such 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Monday, I came back from work and on my way to my appartment, there were 2 girls (around 15 years old) on the corner of the street acting like porno actresses o_0 And don't let me start on the way they were dressed. It was a shame! I gave them a look and they got mad at me!!!!


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## Paramnesia (Feb 7, 2008)

OH I SO AGREE WITH YOU!!!

I have no problem with children but when they act out, I want to slap or trip them over. I don't really agree with corporal punishment but there's a huge amount of children out there who deserve a good slap across the ass.
Parents need to take control and be proper role models. Letting you're kid get away with "murder" isn't going to help them, in actual fact you're producing egocentric, apathetic and selfish human beings who lack independence. 

I don't have children, I'm only 20 and I'm sure being a parent is hard but it doesn't mean you need to lose your dignity to a "CHILD".

Also on the topic, I really feel people these days seem to be lacking empathy and general people skills. I'm starting my 3rd year of university and there's still all the stupid teenage BS. One of my good friends has decided she's going to ignore me unless she wants something (how HIGH SCHOOL) especially around people, she's bitchy to me. 
I'm scared to see what the next generation is going to be like as adults, if that's the way they act as "innocent" children.


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## athena123 (Feb 7, 2008)

Wonderful post Shimmer, I couldn't agree with you more! I can't stand seeing out of control brats in public while their parents just stand around like sheep and expect everyone else to "understand"...
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I think things have gotten much worse since corporal punishment was banned. A swat on the ass doesn't cause any lasting harm and it can drive the point home that their behavior is unacceptable more effectively than any other means. Too many parents, teachers and principals are hampered by threats of child abuse, so they allow atrocious behavior to continue. 

Parents, you are NOT your child's FRIEND. You're bringing little beings into this world and your job is to CIVILIZE them. You may think your precocious little brats are cute but they're not. Brats are not CUTE!  Not only do you need to teach your precious little child the meaning of the word no, but you also need to teach them a few other basic facts: 

Don't stare, point, scream, or chew food with your mouth open. You don't get a fucking present or a candy bar every time you go to the store. Magic words like Please, Thank you, Excuse me, and You're welcome will open many more doors than whining. 

Don't waste your time arguing with your kid, a household is NOT A DEMOCRACY, but a MONARCHY. If you find yourself spending more than 3 minutes explaining to your kid about why they can't spend yet another hour playing their video game, it's time for a 5 minute time out. Every time the kid opens up his or her yap to argue with you, add another 5 minutes. 
Teach your kid to pick up after themselves for GOD's sake! Even my 4 year old nephew knows enough to take his plate and glass to the sink rather than leave it around on the kitchen table. 

A couple months ago, I was really horrified to see a 5 year old boy attached  to his mother with a harness/leash thing. I shot her the dirtiest look, because it resembled a leash but sometimes I can see why that would be tempting.....


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## Shimmer (Feb 7, 2008)

I love kid leashes. I haven't had to use one, but shit yes, in a super populated area? I'll tie something to them, unabashedly. 

My kids know how to load and run the dishwasher, rinse their plates, make their own school lunches, vacuum the living room and hallway, do their own laundry, and clean a bathroom. 
When my kids walk through a mall, we have a hands in pockets rule, and a rule that says that if I have to do more than step and reach, they're too far away. 

My husband is definitely the 'explainer' where as I'm the one who's like...just...don't...DO it.  Whatever it is, stop it. He's definitely the more patient of the two of us, I'll admit. Though, I am working on it.


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## lethaldesign (Feb 7, 2008)

Amen, sister! If you can't control children, don't have them!!


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## ms.marymac (Feb 7, 2008)

I am so glad I am not the only one who feels that discipline has gone down the toilet! I grew up in a household that included spankings...but I know that's not for everybody.   I had plenty of friends that didn't get spanked but they knew that if one of their parents gave them "the look", they had better quit whatever they were doing. It's all about respect.

Yesterday I was standing at an intersection and saw this family coming from the other direction, also about to cross the street. This kid about 2 years old was hauling ass toward the intersection, and there was traffic.  I held my breath because the parents just walked behind him, oblivious. Surprisingly, he stopped just at the edge of the curb and froze. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 If he would have been on the same side, I probably would have instinctively snatched his hood or something to stop him...and the parents would have freaked out. I swear I almost had a heart attack because the oncoming traffic would have never seen him...he was that little.


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## YvetteJeannine (Feb 7, 2008)

*I hate those fucking Heelies. By the way, parents should know; they weren't created for fat kids.  They were created for petite little girls, and small boys...The next time I see a 150lb. twelve yr old boy slobbing around in them, crashing into things, I'm going to say something to his mother.*


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## YvetteJeannine (Feb 7, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *athena123* 

 
_Wonderful post Shimmer, I couldn't agree with you more! I can't stand seeing out of control brats in public while their parents just stand around like sheep and expect everyone else to "understand"...
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I think things have gotten much worse since corporal punishment was banned. A swat on the ass doesn't cause any lasting harm and it can drive the point home that their behavior is unacceptable more effectively than any other means. Too many parents, teachers and principals are hampered by threats of child abuse, so they allow atrocious behavior to continue. 

Parents, you are NOT your child's FRIEND. You're bringing little beings into this world and your job is to CIVILIZE them. You may think your precocious little brats are cute but they're not. Brats are not CUTE!  Not only do you need to teach your precious little child the meaning of the word no, but you also need to teach them a few other basic facts: 

Don't stare, point, scream, or chew food with your mouth open. You don't get a fucking present or a candy bar every time you go to the store. Magic words like Please, Thank you, Excuse me, and You're welcome will open many more doors than whining. 

Don't waste your time arguing with your kid, a household is NOT A DEMOCRACY, but a MONARCHY. If you find yourself spending more than 3 minutes explaining to your kid about why they can't spend yet another hour playing their video game, it's time for a 5 minute time out. Every time the kid opens up his or her yap to argue with you, add another 5 minutes. 
Teach your kid to pick up after themselves for GOD's sake! Even my 4 year old nephew knows enough to take his plate and glass to the sink rather than leave it around on the kitchen table. 

* A couple months ago, I was really horrified to see a 5 year old boy attached  to his mother with a harness/leash thing. I shot her the dirtiest look, because it resembled a leash but sometimes I can see why that would be tempting..... *



_

 
*I actually agree with 'kid leashes/harnesses'. They're wonderful for unruly kids that just want to run through the mall, etc..

Another thing about them...You cannot kidnap a kid on a leash/harness. SO many little kids get kidnapped in public places..esp. crowded places like fairs, amusement parks, etc. Some people think just 'cause a place is crowded, it's 'safe'; quite the contrary..more kids get taken from these places than anywhere else..All it takes is a minute for Mom to turn her back..and it's so easy..ie: you're tending to another child, paying for something, etc..and you turn around, and little Janie is gone...And you can't see through the crowds.  Leashes prevent all that...and no need to worry your kid is gonna try to run off, either.

Just yesterday, I assisted a sobbing, crying three-year-old who lost her Mommy in the grocery store...It was a very traumatic experience for her...and for 'Mom'...she needs a leash!
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



*


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## makeba (Feb 7, 2008)

Whew this soo on point.  I have 3 kids of which my 3yr old daughter is a screamer but let it be known that mess ended real quick. I tell my kids before we get out of the car to enter a store that 1. they better not run, jump or shout like wild animals. 2. dont ask for nothing  and 3. keep up and walk alongside me!! 4. dont touch nothing cuz i am not paying for something i dont want nor can take home becuz its broken. 5. all of ya will likely be much taller than me (my 12 yr old is 5'6) but i can still knock the hell outta all yall.


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## sharkbytes (Feb 7, 2008)

SO agree!  You know what's even worse though?  When parents expect YOU to do the job of disciplining their children.  I've been in malls where bratty kids have pulled my hair/bumped into me, etc. and after I've looked expectantly at the mother (or father), i'll get the response: "Oh, well why didn't you just tell them to stop?"

Yeahhh, if I wanted to be lecturing kids, I'd have some of my own, thanks.  I'm not shopping so I can be the bad guy when someone else's kid acts like a miniature dictator with grimy little hands.  Frankly, I have better things to do (like going to MAC *cough*)
Ugh!! Great post, Shimmer~~


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## weezee (Feb 7, 2008)

Your post made me laugh.  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I can't stand Heelies.  Parents get the look of death from me when they let their kids skate around stores/malls.  Why not let your brats skateboard and ride their bikes around the stores/malls too?  Heelies aren't allowed at my son's school.

I have a 9-year-old son and a 1-year-old daughter.  My son is at the back-talking age and I don't put up with it.  He has chores around the house and moans and groans while he does his chores but does them.  I think some parents are afraid to make their kids do chores and are afraid to get after their kids when they do something wrong.  My son doesn't hate me for it.  If anything he respects me.  He is learning responsibility and in the long run it will make him a better person/adult.  

On the subject of the child leashes, I used to think they were awful but now that I have kids, I am all for them if you are in a crowded place.  It is too easy for little ones to wonder off and there are a lot of whackos out there.

Some people have kids just to have them.  If you are going to have kids, teach them repsect and responsibility.  I love hearing strangers say what a well-manored boy I have when he holds a door open for someone or says please and thank you.  It lets me know that I've done something right!


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## panther27 (Feb 7, 2008)

I love this thread,I completely agree with it.When I was a kid I got soap in my mouth if I so much as stuck out my tongue,and I also got spankings once in a while.A lot of kids now are unbelievable!!I have seen so many parents that let their kids do whatever the hell they want and that is just messed up.It's like hello who are the parents here?I hate those heelies with a passion-I wish they would just stop selling them.And also some of the kids that dress the way they do now-if I had tried even walking out of the house with say,a low cut top when I was 14,and I did try,my mom and dad were like no way get up to your room and change out of that right now and then my mom would take the top away from me.


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## Simply Elegant (Feb 7, 2008)

I can't stand that either. It's like neglecting your children to do those sorts of things. I don't agree with spanking because I think fearing your parents is a bad thing but I do believe punishing the child then and there to make their behaviour consistent and better.


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## kalikana (Feb 7, 2008)

THANK YOU. 

We once had "family friends" (that I've never met before that) sleep over at our house. And they had this one kid who was SO .. I don't even know the word. He just made me want to strangle him. He would spit at me, make fun of me, repeat things I said, even hit me! And it didn't happen once too, it happened THE WHOLE TIME they stayed. I seriously felt like slapping him but of course, I couldn't because I was "older" and they were "visitors." I was so fucking pissed, especially because I couldn't do anything about it but complain to my parents. (This was when I was about 14 or 15)

You know what, it sounds so harsh, but I'm for "beating your kids". Seriously. I was beaten when I was a kid, but only when I misbehaved. I thank my parents for it because I think it instilled the moral values that I have now. I always knew they were doing it out of love, because they always tell me that. I really think that a lot of kids these days need that discipline.


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## Shimmer (Feb 7, 2008)

I have no problems with spanking a child, or grabbing one by the ear, or whatever. I don't believe in beating a child but there's a difference.


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## kalikana (Feb 7, 2008)

Ok, maybe I used the wrong word. I don't mean like punching your kid until he/she bleeds, or putting them in a cage or something.. What my parents did to me was take a belt (not the buckle) and hit me on the ass with it 10-20 times. I don't know if you'd consider that "beating," but it worked for me, lol. xD


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## _trimm_trabb (Feb 7, 2008)

Thank you, and amen. Whoever said you should write a parenting book is correct, and it should be manditorily distributed to parents in OB/GYN centers upon birth of any child. "Congratulations ma'm, it's a girl. Here's a book on how to not fuck her up."

If I have to go out to dinner and have cheerios thrown at me from some brat two tables over only to hear the parents go "oh, hahaha, how cute," one more time, I'm going to flip out.


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## Shimmer (Feb 7, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *kalikana* 

 
_Ok, maybe I used the wrong word. I don't mean like punching your kid until he/she bleeds, or putting them in a cage or something.. What my parents did to me was take a belt (not the buckle) and hit me on the ass with it 10-20 times. I don't know if you'd consider that "beating," but it worked for me, lol. xD_

 
lol the original title of this post was "Beat your kids folks".


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## Briar (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *kalikana* 

 
_Ok, maybe I used the wrong word. I don't mean like punching your kid until he/she bleeds, or putting them in a cage or something.. What my parents did to me was take a belt (not the buckle) and hit me on the ass with it 10-20 times. I don't know if you'd consider that "beating," but it worked for me, lol. xD_

 
Wow, actually sounds pretty extreme to me, but that's just me.

My son gets a single, firm swat on the butt if he's really out of line.  We also have a time out corner which does wonders to "reboot" his attitude.  I think the swat on the backside, or even a few good smacks on a bare butt if the trespass is bad enough is more than acceptable.  We have very clear rules and boundries of expected behavior.  No talking back; use please, thank you and excuse me; no mistreating animals or other people... you get the idea.

I hate, hate, hate to go someplace and see parents allowing their children to run roughshod over them, and everyone else.  How can we possibly expect these little people to learn respect for others if they are led to belive anything and everything they do is allowable and just an "expression of their personality" or some crap.   Isn't this how felons act?

We also try to instill in our son a sense of respect for any and all people.  I have for about a year and a half, done some private duty nursing with a family that has 4 very special disabled children.  I have taken my son over there to meet and play with these kids so he will learn they aren't so different, and so he won't be afraid of someone who is different from him.  Kids are curious, and will ask questions.  I get that.  What I don't, and won't abide in my kid is rude pointing, whispering, laughing or otherwise disrepsectful behavior just because someone isn't just like him, or his peers.


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## chocolategoddes (Feb 8, 2008)

yeah, my parents would whoop my ass if i did crazy shit. Back then I was like, " i'm never gonna spank my kids" but now, if i have kids, and they misbehave its gonna be mr.shoe meets mr. butt.
not in an abusive way ofcourse.
When you'r raised by African (or any other foreign country) parents, you learn to behave.


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## FullWroth (Feb 8, 2008)

I think talking back *respectfully* is okay once kids reach a certain age, because it's just one more way for them to learn how to hold a dialogue with someone (particularly when they don't agree or feel like they're not being understood), and hopefully teach them how to communicate with people to try to get their viewpoint across, because a parent can give the kind of feedback that a real-life situation probably wouldn't provide.

But yeah, even that kind of talking back thing probably shouldn't start until after puberty sometime, exact date then depending on the specific kid's maturity level. And I definitely can't understand the absolutely foul things I see and hear kids say to their parents. Even when I'm really infuriated with my parents, I just go seethe quietly in the corner in my room. I once accidentally snapped back at my mom in the heat of the moment (and I was already over 18 at this point) and it made her cry, and it was the worst feeling in the whole world and I would've done anything to take it back. I don't understand how someone could do that to their parents and not even feel bad about it.


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## AlarmAgent (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *FullWroth* 

 
_I think talking back *respectfully* is okay once kids reach a certain age, because it's just one more way for them to learn how to hold a dialogue with someone (particularly when they don't agree or feel like they're not being understood), and hopefully teach them how to communicate with people to try to get their viewpoint across, because a parent can give the kind of feedback that a real-life situation probably wouldn't provide._

 

I agree with this to the nth degree.  I can't thank my parents enough for allowing me to engage them in debate on topics ranging from politics, moral issues, music, to why I can't go out driving around with strangers at 14, haha.  We always took them seriously, never got to screaming, and I understood their side of things right away because of the openness.  Sometimes, my mind would manage to be changed in a matter of minutes.  They were either very convincing, or I was a bulb-headed preteen.  Little column A, little column B.

Never once did they try and stifle my opinion, or my voice.  It has granted me tons of self confidence, the ability to reason and rationalize most all sides of an issue, and just really made me the confrontational, contrarian jackass I am today.  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




I don't plan on ever stopping my children from arguing with me, I'll just keep going until I win.  I mean, after all, they're kids, how hard can it be?  Oh, I know I'll be eating those words as soon as I'm raising my own, huh?  I think no parent or parenting style has it exactly right, it's all about the best fit for that particular family.

As for creating a public nuisance, under no circumstances would I allow that to go on.  I think children deserve at least a modicum of dignity (hey, it's hard being like 2 ft high and full of gas) so I wouldn't really do anything visibly, but a firm hand squeeze and a quick look was what used to keep me in line.  My parents had easy access to my hand when I was young, because they were always holding it, how sweet.

One thing that makes me almost as awkward-feeling as misbehaving kids, is when someone is screaming at the top of their lungs at their child in public.  Maybe it's my background, but I think your public image should be totally composed at all times if you are over the age of 16.  I feel so embarrassed for everyone in a situation when a mother or father has become a harpy in the middle of the cereal aisle.  I understand it's frustrating, but for everyone's comfort, keep it together until you get the car!  Anyone else get that way?


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## Artphr33k (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Tashona Heléna* 

 
_haha amen to the heelies comment...I hate those things._

 
i decided a few months ago i will trip any kid that just flies in front of me with those.... things. 
haven't succeeded yet... but i won't hesitate!


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## persephonewillo (Feb 8, 2008)

while i agree that there are definitely parents out there who need a swift kick in the butt, there are also loads of decent parents too.

i have to admit, this topic can rub me the wrong way in any forum.  i have a son who is not easily "controlled".  he is impulsive, very easily distracted and can be obsessive compulsive.  he displays a lot of ADHD symptoms which cause other people to think i'm one of "those" parents.

i have a routine for taking him out in public to help keep incidents down... i plan out our route, inform him of each step we have to take BEFORE we leave the house and then stick with the plan.  deviate from the route?  insanity ensues.  tell him to stop something in public?  insanity ensues.  stop to chat for a few minutes with a friend?... you get the picture.  people just assume i'm a terrible parent (gawd, the looks i have gotten from other people just make me want to crawl in a hole and hide!)... until they meet my daughter, who is the polar opposite of my son.  i do what i can to keep things under control, but as you all know, life doesn't always follow even the most well thought out plans of action. 

so, yes, misbehaving children in public can be a real pain in the ass.  parents who don't discipline even more of a pain in the ass.  but please keep in mind that there are some cases where the child has issues and the behaviour can't be helped.


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## Enkuli (Feb 8, 2008)

I worked in daycare like 5 months and children were usually full of energy but still nice and sweet. Except that one of the six year olds brought a sharp knife to his closet. I cleaned dust from kids’ lockers and I was shocked when I found that kind of weapon. Imagine what might have happened if kids would have started to play with a knife.

One other child told me that he's going to saw me into two pieces so that blood is going to be all over the windows. And this one russian girl spitted on me. Well she truly was very sweet but she just didn't speak my language and we didn't speak hers so she had troubles to understanding how to behave and so on. It was kind of mad situation when she didn't understand how rude it was to spit someone. It was just a fun game to her.

So I have had my fair share of misbehaving kids and I just hate it when kids are being rude and horrible. It’s rarely the kids fault although some kids are more trouble than others. Also horrible behaving kids do have right to see the world outside their homes and for that I’m willing to stand all kind of kids. But it just makes me mad when some parents aren’t even trying to control their kids! It is a whole another story if parent is doing her/his best to teach their children like they are supposed to do but too often those kids running around and doing forbidden stuff are result of parents who just don’t see why they should raise their children to be good citizens.


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## Briar (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *FullWroth* 

 
_I think talking back *respectfully* is okay once kids reach a certain age, because it's just one more way for them to learn how to hold a dialogue with someone (particularly when they don't agree or feel like they're not being understood), and hopefully teach them how to communicate with people to try to get their viewpoint across, because a parent can give the kind of feedback that a real-life situation probably wouldn't provide.

._

 
Ok, in our household that's not "talking back", that's dialouge.  Big difference. Talking back is saying "no" in a snotty tone when told to brush teeth, saying "whatever" when told why something isn't appropriate (yes, I got this from my three year old in a very pre-teen voice, ugh), etc.  In our home "talking back" is being snotty or snide to the parents.  Not allowed.


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## Shimmer (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *AlarmAgent* 

 
_I don't plan on ever stopping my children from arguing with me, I'll just keep going until I win.  I mean, after all, they're kids, how hard can it be?  Oh, I know I'll be eating those words as soon as I'm raising my own, huh?  I think no parent or parenting style has it exactly right, it's all about the best fit for that particular family.
_

 
I don't argue with my kids. I'm not about to spend 45 minutes explaining what and where and why and how just because any one of the 4 feels like they're campaigning on Super Tuesday and needs to debate it all.  They get told what, why, and wherefore, and then after that they don't get anymore discussion. If they ask why they don't, the answer is that they're not the ones who have to pay the mortgage, insurance, etc., or to repair whatever is broken, ultimately. 

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *persephonewillo* 

 
_while i agree that there are definitely parents out there who need a swift kick in the butt, there are also loads of decent parents too.

i have to admit, this topic can rub me the wrong way in any forum.  i have a son who is not easily "controlled".  he is impulsive, very easily distracted and can be obsessive compulsive.  he displays a lot of ADHD symptoms which cause other people to think i'm one of "those" parents.

i have a routine for taking him out in public to help keep incidents down... i plan out our route, inform him of each step we have to take BEFORE we leave the house and then stick with the plan.  deviate from the route?  insanity ensues.  tell him to stop something in public?  insanity ensues.  stop to chat for a few minutes with a friend?... you get the picture.  people just assume i'm a terrible parent (gawd, the looks i have gotten from other people just make me want to crawl in a hole and hide!)... until they meet my daughter, who is the polar opposite of my son.  i do what i can to keep things under control, but as you all know, life doesn't always follow even the most well thought out plans of action. 

so, yes, misbehaving children in public can be a real pain in the ass.  parents who don't discipline even more of a pain in the ass.  but please keep in mind that there are some cases where the child has issues and the behaviour can't be helped.  
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
I'm sorry for your situation with your son, that can be truly frustrating. 

But it's also truly frustrating for me to be at my gym and have to scold children for breaking the rules while their Dad is over with another group of dads measuring his beenie by trying to climb different routes and their Mom is over with another group of soccer moms sitting, shoving food in their mouths, and glaring at me in disapproval because I'm in running shorts and a racer tank and mouthing about how their precious little offspring are going to be so scarred from being around "all these half naked people".  It *really* frustrates me to have to tell the kids to stop swinging grigris, or to double check their ropes (again) so they don't fall, or to stop throwing the floor covering at each other, or to simply stop running. Those are other parents' jobs and to  just _watch_ them watching the kids makes me want to throw a belay device at the lot of them.


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## Professor Fate (Feb 8, 2008)

I absolutely HATE kids.....especially brats in public places.


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## Shimmer (Feb 8, 2008)

Y'know, honestly, it's not the kids I have a problem with, until they're 14 or so, it's the parents. I have a huuuuuge problem with willfully damaging a child just...because they can. 

I hate other parents, most of the time. The ones who just sit and watch the kids runabout? I loathe them. The ones who think Johnny's "bump the lady's chair" game is cute? I hope they burn.  The ones who allow their children to run the show, because actually PARENTING the child takes more effort? *bash*


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## Professor Fate (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_Y'know, honestly, it's not the kids I have a problem with, until they're 14 or so, it's the parents. I have a huuuuuge problem with willfully damaging a child just...because they can. 

I hate other parents, most of the time. The ones who just sit and watch the kids runabout? I loathe them. The ones who think Johnny's "bump the lady's chair" game is cute? I hope they burn.  The ones who allow their children to run the show, because actually PARENTING the child takes more effort? *bash*_

 
I'm with you. I just take any chance that I can get to voice my hatred for kids....it's rare. 

I get to voice my hatred for adults/parents all day long....sometimes to their face. 

Does anyone else besides me feel the urge to set cars with stickers of their kids' accomplishments on fire and ram them off of a cliff?  My favorite stickers are the band or soccer team stickers....nothing says "my kid is a worthless weak spoiled brat" quite like those.

Damn, I sound pretty miserable.


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## Shimmer (Feb 8, 2008)

lol I don't advertise my son's baseball affiliations or my daughter's musical club is because I don't want people to track them down. I'm the anti-soccer mom.


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## knoxydoll (Feb 8, 2008)

My experiences from working in both a grocery store and as security at a baseball diamond have left me in awe at some parents.

I don't understand how in this day and age some parents will just let their kids run away from them as soon as they enter the grocery store. I once had these two young kids come and talk to me for 30 minutes while they're parents shopped. Now they were nice, polite kids, but I don't get paid enough to be a babysitter on top of my job too. The parents actually came by and said thanks for watching out kids. My mouth just dropped in shock. Screaming kids, it happens; Kids throwing a tantrum, it happens. When it happens every single week, then it's a problem. Most people do their shopping on a regular schedule, and their kids throw tantrums on regular schedules. It's disrespective to the people who work there to have your kid be a menace the whole time you're there. How would you like them to come to your work place and act like an ass all the time? You'd most likely get security to throw them out. I can't even count the amount of times I've seen kids on Heelies crash into things. 

While working at the baseball diamond made me lose all hope for society in the future. And while that may sound harsh, seeing people lose their kids because they let them have free reign of the place. Having kids climb fences, while a teacher stands near by and say it's ok. Having children climb fences and have another parent (not even the child's) yell at me for taking the kid off the fence. Having kids with Heelies wheel around, kids running on slipery cement. Sometimes though it's the parents that are the worst. I was once called anal because I wouldn't let a child and her parents in with out a ticket. They were singing the National Anthems and were late and I said you need a ticket to get in. The mother started throwing a fit and the child honestly looked embarrassed. All they had to do was go to a call window 5 ft away and ask for the tickets which were already reserved. It was unbelievable. Or the lady that said I was an asshole because I wouldn't let her bring in a lunch for 10 people when there's a giant sign that says NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR DRINK ALLOWED INSIDE just to my right. I have so many story that I could write a wonderful book on the downfall of society.

My upbringing was amazing and I base it all upon my parents upbringing. My father's family was in the military, so they were always disciplined well, and were brought up to be intellectuals and to have respect for themselves, the people around, and mostly for their parents. My mother's family are farmers. You have to be disciplined to be able to work the dairy farm. Milking cows twice a day, doing your chores everyday. Never having a day off. Respect is what held that family together. Because of this I was never stifled in what I wanted to do. I was encouraged to do what I wanted as long as it was age appropriate and that I would most likely learn something from it. I learnt my lessons by myself. I was never beat but there was always the threat of it. I don't think they would have ever gone through with it, but it was still there.  Now seeing my cousin being raised it's almost the same thing. His mother (my mom's sister) is raising him like she was raised. With lots of compassion and teaching him respect and how to work in society (he already has dealt with death, and was a seriously little man when he had to be). However his father is raising him like he was raised, as a only child to strict parents. He'll yell/raise his voice at him for the most inane thing. Nicholas will talk back to his father but not his mother and it's already starting to show at how much he will rebel at his father one day. Thankfully I know he'll turn out well because he'll have the rest of his family to fall back on and support him.

Now if anyone wants any of those stories elaborated just let me know. I didn't want to make this post even more long by adding more details to them.


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## Professor Fate (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_lol I don't advertise my son's baseball affiliations or my daughter's musical club is because I don't want people to track them down. I'm the anti-soccer mom. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
Track them down? Your name is now Sarah Conner.


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## Shimmer (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Professor Fate* 

 
_Track them down? Your name is now Sarah Conner. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	







_

 
lol There are entirely too many pedophiles.


I like my vehicle to be as non descript as possible.


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## Professor Fate (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_lol There are entirely too many pedophiles.


I like my vehicle to be as non descript as possible. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			



_

 

I agree...I'd probably be the same way if I had kids. I've always been against guns but now I am looking at buying a handgun and getting a license to carry.


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## MariahGem (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *MACATTAK* 

 
_Yes, yes, and yes!!!!!!!  I have a friend who has 3 uncontrollable kids, and a new baby...so make that 4.  She''s even considering another one.  It's very embarrasing to be out in public with her when she has these out-of-control kids with her..._

 
Man, this scares me!  I also have a strong dislike for weak-ass parents who don't parent their children.  DON'T have them if you can't raise them properly.  UGH.

But I got a call yesterday from my best friend that she's pregnant.  I was supposed to be all "YAY!" but I couldn't help feeling like she's having kids just 'cause she wants kids.  I mean, she married the first guy to go out with her (he's not NEARLY as good looking as her, but he's also WAY too nice of a person for her) and quit her job (even though she's the only one of the two with a degree) so she can be a "housewife".  But she NEVER has EVER cleans ANYTHING.

I feel bad worrying and ragging on my friend all the time, she's been an ok friend to me, and has been there for me in hard times.  But I hardly think she can take care of herself, HOW will she be able to care for another human being?  Let alone raise it properly?

She spends all her time playing World of Warcraft and writing fanfiction (Not even her own characters), and it really, sincerely scares me to think she's going to be a parent.  

And they want, like, 4 kids.  *somehow thankful I'll be moving to LA in a couple of years*
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




  Why is it that people think just because they CAN do something, that they should??


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## Shimmer (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Professor Fate* 

 
_I agree...I'd probably be the same way if I had kids. I've always been against guns but now I am looking at buying a handgun and getting a license to carry._

 
My brother was going to get me a high end taser for Christmas, but my dad said ABSOLUTELY NOT.


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## Professor Fate (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_My brother was going to get me a high end taser for Christmas, but my dad said ABSOLUTELY NOT. 



_

 
Good, that gives you a reason to go buy a .45.


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## Shimmer (Feb 8, 2008)

That was my logic. *nods*


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## labellavita7 (Feb 8, 2008)

I HATE HEELIES

At my old job at a movie theater, there was a ramp going up to the hallway, and kids would always FLY down and every single time I would pray for them to fall.  Not only would it make my work day a lot more fun, they'd fucking realize they shouldn't be flying through a theater full of people OR around a corner where they can't see anything.  I want to put a stick down like in Big Daddy just to watch them go.


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## Professor Fate (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *labellavita7* 

 
_I HATE HEELIES

At my old job at a movie theater, there was a ramp going up to the hallway, and kids would always FLY down and every single time I would pray for them to fall.  Not only would it make my work day a lot more fun, they'd fucking realize they shouldn't be flying through a theater full of people OR around a corner where they can't see anything.  I want to put a stick down like in Big Daddy just to watch them go._

 

Dumbest things ever. Grow up and ride a skateboard, SISSIES.


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## elegant-one (Feb 8, 2008)

OMG...Shimmer I LOVE this post! I only wish it could be like a tv commercial or something for the broader public to hear 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




After a hard work week, hubby decided we needed to get out for lunch & the mall on Sunday...what a mistake! I couldn't wait to get back to the peace of my home. I am so unbelievably sick of idiot parents & their kids that I told my hubby I was going to write a rant just like this post.

I'm so sick of hearing your kids scream in public. I don't give a crap if its your cute little baby - I don't want to hear it...& for like a half hour especially when we're at dinner. I always say out loud that "we must be at chucky cheese" & "can you teach your child an indoor voice"

The parents NEVER deal with them! And, if you take your brats to the mall, DON'T let them walk around & through the stores with a big gulp cup of pop! We were walking past a store & this little 3-4 year old comes walking out of the store, falls and his big gulp pop flies all over the store, the floor...and yes all over my newly washed jeans!!!

And to finish my rant...PLEASE just stop having soooo many kids...you can't take care of them. And, then you bitch & complain that you don't have any money and want us the taxpayers to fork over ours...NO WAAAY! STOP breeding! 

*feels better now*  Thanks a ton for saying this Shimmer!!!!!!!!

And, BTW we raised a very energetic son...and we never had these issues. He knew what was acceptable and what was not.


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## purrtykitty (Feb 8, 2008)

See, I'm conflicted on this issue, because I know there are an assload of parents out there that just sit back and let the chips fall where they may, but I also think there are an assload of kids who are just assholes.  Take my sister and me for example.  We are five years apart, me being the oldest (just us two).  She's one of "those" kids, while I think I turned out pretty decent (not to toot my own horn, or anything).  Sure I had my moments, but what toddler/kid doesn't?  Hell, I still occasionally have my "moments".  My sister, on the other hand, has one at least once a day, if not more...it's like she's in permanent PMS-mode.  She yells, curses, argues with my parents...you name it, she does it.  All while sponging off them, living at home (although to her credit, she did just recently get her first job at the ripe old age of 21 and she is in school full-time, if you count failing 1/2 her classes full-time).

Now, why did we turn out so differently being we had the same parents?  Well by the time my sister came along, my mother was just plain exhausted, not because I wore her out (I did, but only a little) but because she has post-polio syndrome (if you don't know what it is, look it up...it's quite unpleasant).  By the time she would get home from work, it was all she could do to make it to her bed to crash for the night, and that's if she didn't have to run me or my sister around town to our various activities.  My dad, he worked nights, so he wasn't around.

I don't fault either of my parents because they did the best they could under the circumstances.  When we were younger, if we were bad, we got swatted on the butt and/or put in time-out.  When we got older, we lost privileges.  By the time my mother really wore out (before she went on FT disability) my sister was definitely old enough to know how to act properly, but she ended up taking full advantage of the fact that she could get away with murder because she knew that if she pushed hard enough, my mother would be too tired to push back, so she'd get her way.  

Basically, I agree with everything that's been said, especially in the specific situations presented.  But bear in mind, it may not always be the fault of the parents because there may be circumstances beyond their control (i.e. disabled parent or child)...or the kid could just genuinely be an asshole.


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## Shimmer (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *labellavita7* 

 
_I HATE HEELIES

At my old job at a movie theater, there was a ramp going up to the hallway, and kids would always FLY down and every single time I would pray for them to fall.  Not only would it make my work day a lot more fun, they'd fucking realize they shouldn't be flying through a theater full of people OR around a corner where they can't see anything.  I want to put a stick down like in Big Daddy just to watch them go._

 
Throw crumbs or popcorn all over the floor.  They can't skate over it.


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## Professor Fate (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_Throw crumbs or popcorn all over the floor.  They can't skate over it._

 






Yes! Do it and post video of kids falling on their faces.


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## lizardprincesa (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by **KT** 

 
_OMFG, yes!  Especially to the heelies.  Just yesterday, I saw a store employee at Costco stop a kid with heelies who was zipping down the aisles  and ask him "Ok, where's your  mom?"  She hauled his butt back to his mother and told her that he had to stay with her at all times and that they didn't want to catch him "skating down the aisles".  As tempting as it was, I didn't cheer... at least not out loud._

 
*amen 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


*

 Quote:

   Originally Posted by **KT** 

 
_We had a kid in the office last week who screamed the whole time they were trying on glasses.  He gave me a headache from behind the closed doors of my office.  Literally screamed for like 20 minutes.  The poor optician couldn't even lean towards him without him screaming bloody murder.  The mom says, "Oh, he does this all the time." and then later says, "So is this like your first time helping a crying child?"  Told her she should have responded, "I've just never helped Damien get new glasses."  And no, he wasn't a special needs child, perfectly normal if you don't count being satan spawn._

 
* Not all children who have special needs misbehave, as not all children who don't have special needs behave. Children are children. My son has special needs, but he won't act that way in public.*

* btw...He is a child who was born with Down's Syndrome, or he is a child who has Down's Syndrome.
*
*This isn't so much anger, as an attempt to be an agent of change. Here is simply info, albeit pc .....& it's not directed at you,*KT*, nor  at anyone in  particular.  I gently corrected my own dad  the other Day. We, parents of children who have special needs, are not thrilled to hear  " a special  needs child,"  nor  "a  Down's  (Syndrome) child."  It can feel as if the person is referring to a pedigree poodle...Do we call a child who's blind a "blind child" ? Probably (guilty myself, in the past).  I worked  for years  with adolescents  who were * *migrant farmworkers. I almost wrote "migrant farmworker adolescents." (slaps own hand) *

* We need to see the child/person *first,* before the differences & labels.
My seeming rant (I hope it isn't seen that way), is about *all* the 'isms'

 Language/vocabulary/syntax has actually proven to change*
* societal attitudes in positive directions.*

* Please don't take my comments personally. ReallyReallyReally. I have been on a path to change the World since I was a little girl. I've seen language help... *

* Thanks for reading. xx 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


*​


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## mrsjakeryan (Feb 8, 2008)

i was laughing my ass off after reading your post!!  i feel the exact same way!  you're amazing!!


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## ilurvemakeup (Feb 8, 2008)

This cracked me up lol


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## Shimmer (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *lizardprincesa* 

 
_* We need to see the child/person *first,* before the differences & labels.
*_

 
I'm going to have to say that not acknowledging differences within our children upfront and honestly is a HUGE problem. 
Having a physical/mental handicap doesn't make a kid a bad person, nor does it make the person acknowledging that handicap a bad person.
But even Down's kids misbehave. Even ADD/ADHD (I'm sick of this excuse. I'm about as ADD as a methed out crackmonkey on a Sunday morning coming down, and it's no excuse for me, and it wasn't when I was a child.) can and should be controlled so their behaviour doesn't spill over and cause problems for random strangers in their area.

I'm not one of those parents who's going to take my  kid shopping with me then get frustrated and leave my entire grocery cart in the aisle and take my child home. I don't believe in that. I believe in carting his happy butt to the bathroom and straightening him out, or leaving my basket at the desk while I take him to the car and straighten him out and head the temper fit off.  

My kids aren't and never will be the ones in control of my life. I'm not a pampering parent, and I don't bubblewrap them. I refuse.


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## Shimmer (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Professor Fate* 

 
_Dumbest things ever. Grow up and ride a skateboard, SISSIES._

 
My 7 year old is getting into skateboarding. What a hair raising experience for me. It's hard to watch and not want to stop him from getting hurt, but he's going to eventually. I have to let him do it. Getting hurt teaches him caution.


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## RaynelleM (Feb 8, 2008)

Thanks for this post ... I totally agree that parents need to watch their kids more carefully, stop trying to be their kids' friend and most importantly discipline them!! I see badly behaved kids almost everyday and it’s just getting incredibly annoying. Sometimes I seriously want to just smack them myself!!
When I was a kid I would never have done half the things I see kids doing now … my parents would never have let me get away with it. For example, I was taught that I should always give up my seat on the train/bus/wherever to a grown-up, esp an elderly person. But now I see parents get on the subway with their kid and give you looks like you should get up and let the child sit down! Um, yeah I don’t think so!! Or one time there was a kid sitting next to me and he kept kicking my leg, getting dirt on my pants but his mother just ignored him and when I told him to stop she gave me a dirty look. On the other hand, I’ve also seen a parent discipline her child and another lady had the audacity to tell her she was being to strict and not to yell at the child. I think she told the woman to mind her own business which is exactly what I will be doing if anyone ever tries something like that with me when I have kids.
And as for smacking children etc., both me and my bf were beaten with belts, rulers, slippers, wooden spoons, whatever our parents could grab aside from just using their hands and I will be happy to tell you that both of us are normal functioning adults. No, our little personalities were not affected, we did not turn out to be scared individuals, afraid of our parents or the world. In fact, I’m glad my parents beat me, it made be a better person and taught me about the consequences of my actions (or in some cases inactions). When we have kids, they will be disciplined just like we were and I dare any child protection agency to try and tell me otherwise. It’s not like my parents discipline ever caused any real damage (ie. cuts, bruises, etc.), I was not beaten into a pulp, it was just a few smacks. In fact most of time my dad would complain his hand hurt!! And as my dad once said to my younger sister, after she “advised” he couldn’t smack her cuz it was against the law, “there are other countries where there’s no such law and I’ll just put you on a plane and take you there!!” LOL!! The look on her face was priceless!!
Also, I would like to say to all those parents that bring their kids to the office, there is nothing more unprofessional than being on the phone with a client only to have your 3yr old screaming in the background!! If you want to show off your kids put pictures on your desk, we do not actually want to meet them!!
ps. have any of you watched “Jon & Kate plus 8” … the parents on “Nanny 911” could learn something from them!!


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## elegant-one (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_Even ADD/ADHD (I'm sick of this excuse. I'm about as ADD as a methed out crackmonkey on a Sunday morning coming down, and it's no excuse for me, and it wasn't when I was a child.)_

 





Crackin me up!


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## persephonewillo (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_Even ADD/ADHD (I'm sick of this excuse. I'm about as ADD as a methed out crackmonkey on a Sunday morning coming down, and it's no excuse for me, and it wasn't when I was a child.) can and should be controlled so their behaviour doesn't spill over and cause problems for random strangers in their area._

 
my son has to behave in public and at home, but even with the best laid out plans there is always the chance things aren't going to go well.  we do our best to cope and not cause trouble for random strangers in the area.  but sometimes it happens.  

the general rule is that when it starts happening and he isn't able to calm down (he does sometimes, he's learning coping methods and isn't as bad as he once was) we go home.  end of story.  HOWEVER, there are times when we CAN'T just drop everything.  there have been times at the pharmacy when i'm picking up my meds and i CAN'T leave just right at that moment that he starts.  instead of people offering to help ("hey, would you like to go ahead of me so you can get out of here faster?", etc), i get evil looks and hear nasty comments.  never to my face, mind you... always in the passive aggressive manner of a snide remark to someone else within my earshot.  you know, as if i don't KNOW my child is on the verge of a breakdown in the middle of a public space.  as if i'm not already trying to calm him down so that we can get through the next 4 minutes without more trouble.  the reactions from strangers are sometimes in worse behaviour than my son's.  but they are accepted, even encouraged.  why is that?  and if i mention ADD/ADHD there is the stigma of using it as an "excuse".

i can't keep him locked up in the house because there is the chance he might disturb a stranger with his behaviours.  he can't learn to cope and calm down if he is hidden away from the world.  where is the win in this situation?


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## Shimmer (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *persephonewillo* 

 
_my son has to behave in public and at home, but even with the best laid out plans there is always the chance things aren't going to go well.  we do our best to cope and not cause trouble for random strangers in the area.  but sometimes it happens.  

the general rule is that when it starts happening and he isn't able to calm down (he does sometimes, he's learning coping methods and isn't as bad as he once was) we go home.  end of story.  HOWEVER, there are times when we CAN'T just drop everything.  there have been times at the pharmacy when i'm picking up my meds and i CAN'T leave just right at that moment that he starts.  instead of people offering to help ("hey, would you like to go ahead of me so you can get out of here faster?", etc), i get evil looks and hear nasty comments.  never to my face, mind you... always in the passive aggressive manner of a snide remark to someone else within my earshot.  you know, as if i don't KNOW my child is on the verge of a breakdown in the middle of a public space.  as if i'm not already trying to calm him down so that we can get through the next 4 minutes without more trouble.  the reactions from strangers are sometimes in worse behaviour than my son's.  but they are accepted, even encouraged.  why is that?  and if i mention ADD/ADHD there is the stigma of using it as an "excuse".

i can't keep him locked up in the house because there is the chance he might disturb a stranger with his behaviours.  he can't learn to cope and calm down if he is hidden away from the world.  where is the win in this situation?_

 
I'll be honest, there isn't one. Fact of the matter is kids are kids, and they're going to do what kids do, regardless of or because of, any handicaps they may have. And, I know that, I understand it, and I try  my absolute best to, if not embrace it, at least remember that.

The point of my post was not to incriminate the parents who try. I can look at a child and check my watch and know, simply from having been a parent for 12 years, that a meltdown could likely ensue.  I can generally read a situation and see the 'not the norm' elements of it. 

Like I said, I'm not talking about those parents.


I'm talking about the ones who allow their children to open toys in the store, then demand a discount when the thing is broken because their undisciplined brat threw it against the wall.

I'm talking about the parents who allow their children to race through the stores on those fucking heelies and actually take offense when their child is asked to stop by a stranger or an employee.

I'm talking about the ones who have a child who's just screaming because s/he can, and the parent does nothing about it, doesn't even acknowledge it. The child's not throwing a temper fit, it's just screaming. 

I'm talking about the parents who allow their daughters to walk around in low cut shirts, pushup bras, and super low rise jeans with their ass hanging out, and then offer the weak excuse of "I can't stop her."  The FUCK you can't. Don't fucking  buy it.  And don't even fucking tell me that the girl does her own laundry. When you find it, bag it up and give it away and claim the tax deduction at the end of the year. "Well, if I do that she won't go to school."  Then take away her stuff and _make_ her go to school.  "Well she will be really angry at me if I do." Who fucking cares? She's not in charge. She's not equipped yet to make decisions that are for her best interests.  Stop enabling it.

In fact, when it comes right down to it, that's my whole point. Parents need to stop enabling this bratty behaviour. "I can't stand Heely shoes." Well, then why did you buy them for your child? "Because he wanted them and wouldn't accept no for an answer." So? He's EIGHT. Just say no. Refuse to pay for  them. He'll live, and so will you.

Stop enabling this behaviour people.


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## lizardprincesa (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_I'm going to have to say that not acknowledging differences within our children upfront and honestly is a HUGE problem._

 
*You're absolutely right. But first, I believe, we to need to recognize similarities between children...and people, in general, for that matter. *​
 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_Having a physical/mental handicap doesn't make a kid a bad person, nor does it make the person acknowledging that handicap a bad person._

 
_*You are right! I hope it didn't seem I was saying that earlier.*_

_*Not all children who have special needs are handicapped. Some children are simply *developmentally delayed*...
& they do catch up... I'm seeing that with my own eyes...*_​


 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_But even Down's kids misbehave._

 

_*Of course they do! My son just had a bout of "I will do the opposite of anything you ask of me."  He's in a time-out right now.

How about " Kids who have Down's."
*_
 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_Even ADD/ADHD (I'm sick of this excuse. I'm about as ADD as a methed out crackmonkey on a Sunday morning coming down, and it's no excuse for me, and it wasn't when I was a child.)_

 
_*I'm sure I must have ADD, as well....really... 

Don't all kids have it, to some degree? It wasn't an excuse when I was a child, either. In fact, I think it was just beginning to be a dx.*_ _*I guess some kids have it so severely, it interferes with their learning & functioning...
*_
 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_can and should be controlled so their behaviour doesn't spill over and cause problems for random strangers in their area._

 
_*Absolutely. Most definitely! I agree! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





  This goes for *all* kids. Society has a few agreed - upon rules, & I was brought up to believe this to be one of them. I never (rarely) received physical punishment, tho....I got yelled at - at home. 
Outside of the home, my siblings & I generally knew how to behave. *_
_*(However, all hell let loose sometimes at home (3 of us, close in age.)

I'm trying to teach my 4-yr-old....& I think it's going well! I'm thrilled. I didn't know I had it in me to be able to impart discipline. My husband & I do so verbally, with time-outs, & short-term removal of toys/privileges (like Music or TV)

*_​  Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_I'm not one of those parents who's going to take my  kid shopping with me then get frustrated and leave my entire grocery cart in the aisle and take my child home. I don't believe in that._

 
_*I'm don't believe in that, either. I want to nip the negative behaviors in the bud, before they spread to outside. I hope I do it right...practice practice practice...
*_
 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_I believe in carting his happy butt to the bathroom and straightening him out, or leaving my basket at the desk while I take him to the car and straighten him out and head the temper fit off._

 
_*These are both great ideas.
*_ 
 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_My kids aren't and never will be the ones in control of my life._

 
* You are right... sometimes, circumstances can't be helped, tho...*

*Ideally, the parents need to be in control. Children ask for/need structure & discipline; if we don't give it to them, they will have a difficult time in the world...*​ 
 Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_I'm not a pampering parent, and I don't bubblewrap them. I refuse._

 
_*





  Here, I'm a bit guilty. So were my parents, *to some extent*... This Life...who knows how long it lasts? Children - oooh....I *love* to pamper him sometimes...& I think you do, too...even if once in awhile (no offense intended, Shimmer.) 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


*_

_*I *love* the bubblewrap comment & will keep it in my arsenal. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


*_
_*I will try to bubblewrap only makeup.*_

_*No offense intended about *anything*....Discussion only.*_

_*I hope your Day is beautiful!*_​


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## *Stargazer* (Feb 8, 2008)

Heelies are the devil. 


I don't play games. I am sure people HATE me when I am out in public but when kids are involved and they are doing stuff they shouldn't, I say something. As loud as I possibly can so that their lazy parents can hear me. The trouble is, shame isn't what it used to be and they just don't give a crap. 

But at the same time, I'm the FIRST person to stop and help another parent when they have a child having a meltdown and they are legitimately trying to deal with it. I have three children under 5. I know meltdown intimately 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




We have made sure to take out children our in public since they were newborns. They can't learn proper behavior in public if they don't get to practice it.


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## Professor Fate (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_My 7 year old is getting into skateboarding. What a hair raising experience for me. It's hard to watch and not want to stop him from getting hurt, but he's going to eventually. I have to let him do it. Getting hurt teaches him caution._

 






Too many kids are so sheltered from experiences that build toughness and character.


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## Shimmer (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by **Stargazer** 

 
_Heelies are the devil. 


I don't play games. I am sure people HATE me when I am out in public but when kids are involved and they are doing stuff they shouldn't, I say something. As loud as I possibly can so that their lazy parents can hear me. The trouble is, shame isn't what it used to be and they just don't give a crap. 

But at the same time, I'm the FIRST person to stop and help another parent when they have a child having a meltdown and they are legitimately trying to deal with it. I have three children under 5. I know meltdown intimately 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




We have made sure to take out children our in public since they were newborns. They can't learn proper behavior in public if they don't get to practice it._

 
I most heartily agree with your last point.



At the climbing gym I use, we give a safety briefing.  Two key points of that  briefing are "Don't climb under someone else" and "Don't swing on the belay points."

Before I got sick, we were working on a problem that needed about 9 foot of wall, sideways, but was across an autobelay point. 
The number of kids who ran up to pull the rope down, and simply couldn't understand why I was on a wall,  hanging on by my pinky, telling them to find somewhere else to climb.  Then they would snap the belay rope back against the wall, which would in turn cause my grip to slip. 
Their parents actually reported me for not letting them climb.

No you little ingrates, I'm trying to protect BOTH of us from serious injury.


And, those Petzl GriGris? They're fairly heavy and all metal. Swinging them around is ASKING to knock someone's teeth out.


----------



## Shimmer (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Professor Fate* 

 
_





Too many kids are so sheltered from experiences that build toughness and character._

 
Dude, in my house, 3 years of age is when we shed floaties in the pool. 
Baseball? You're  going to get hit, and I may be the one who does it.
Soccer? You'll be body checked.  Learn to deal with it.
Ripsticking? Put on helmets and wrist guards, because those two body parts are expensive.
Rock climbing? Don't forget to moisturize. And use a crashpad properly.

I believe in the kids experiencing life as it comes at you. They're going to disagree with someone. They're going to get dumped. They're going to have an unreciprocated crush.  They're going to get called names, they're going to fail.  It's my job, and my husband's job, to make sure they can cope with those experiences.


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## elegant-one (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by **Stargazer** 

 
_Heelies are the devil. 


I don't play games. I am sure people HATE me when I am out in public but when kids are involved and they are doing stuff they shouldn't, I say something. As loud as I possibly can so that their lazy parents can hear me. The trouble is, shame isn't what it used to be and they just don't give a crap. _

 





 I so agree


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## newagetomatoz (Feb 8, 2008)

Whoever invented Heelies should be dragged out to the street and be beat with them.  Repeatedly.

And to those parents, you are their _parents_, not their _friends._  Grow some balls and smack the kid when they deserve it.  don't worry about "scarring them."  They'll get over it.  I'm not advocating beating your kid, but give them a goddamn slap on the ass when they earn it.  Hell, I got slapped across the face, hands, and ass because, yes, I was a little brat.  I even had my teddy bear thrown in the microwave with the timer set, with me thinking my momma was nuking Teddy while I cried hysterically for five minutes.

Even though I'm only seventeen, I see my generation and the ones after me and I fear for the world.

Parents, stop letting your kids be little self-absorbed tyrants.  We live here too.


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## s0damnbeautiful (Feb 8, 2008)

Great post! I wait tables, and the way some of the children act these days astonishes me. I ask my parents sometimes if I acted that way when I was a kid and they said no, they'd have punished me for it. They also said that if I was misbehaving that day they wouldn't take me in public (lol). 

I always remember one of my co-workers was also a first grade teacher. She taught her students to say please and thank you (of course). At one of her tables a kid ordered and didn't say please and this girl automatically said "please ..." and the kids parents FLIPPED OUT at her. They talked to management, they called corporate ... even after she explained. It's amazing how parents don't teach their kids this anymore. They just let them yell and scream and do whatever they watn ... they let them draw ON THE TABLE with crayons, they let them run aroudnd the restaurant when servers are walking around w/ trays, they let them open up sugar packets and dump them everywhere ... 

I work across the street from a childrens amusement park thats open during the summer, and OMG I want to shoot people by the end of the day. I hope that when I'm a parent I raise my kids the way my parents raised me & my sisters. I always make a point to tell parents how great their kids are when I'm waiting on polite kids. It's so rare haha.


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## knoxydoll (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_I most heartily agree with your last point.



At the climbing gym I use, we give a safety briefing.  Two key points of that  briefing are "Don't climb under someone else" and "Don't swing on the belay points."

Before I got sick, we were working on a problem that needed about 9 foot of wall, sideways, but was across an autobelay point. 
The number of kids who ran up to pull the rope down, and simply couldn't understand why I was on a wall,  hanging on by my pinky, telling them to find somewhere else to climb.  Then they would snap the belay rope back against the wall, which would in turn cause my grip to slip. 
Their parents actually reported me for not letting them climb.

No you little ingrates, I'm trying to protect BOTH of us from serious injury.


And, those Petzl GriGris? They're fairly heavy and all metal. Swinging them around is ASKING to knock someone's teeth out._

 
It's a catch 22 because if you said nothing and the kid got hurt the parents would be bitching at you for not saying something, and when you say something they bitch at you for talking.


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## Shimmer (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *knoxydoll* 

 
_It's a catch 22 because if you said nothing and the kid got hurt the parents would be bitching at you for not saying something, and when you say something they bitch at you for talking._

 
It is. Of course, we have a really cool little waiver that says that they can't sue us for their kids being retards.


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## *KT* (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *lizardprincesa* 

 
_*amen 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


*


* Not all children who have special needs misbehave, as not all children who don't have special needs behave. Children are children. My son has special needs, but he won't act that way in public.*

* btw...He is a child who was born with Down's Syndrome, or he is a child who has Down's Syndrome.
*
*This isn't so much anger, as an attempt to be an agent of change. Here is simply info, albeit pc .....& it's not directed at you,*KT*, nor  at anyone in  particular.  I gently corrected my own dad  the other Day. We, parents of children who have special needs, are not thrilled to hear  " a special  needs child,"  nor  "a  Down's  (Syndrome) child."  It can feel as if the person is referring to a pedigree poodle...Do we call a child who's blind a "blind child" ? Probably (guilty myself, in the past).  I worked  for years  with adolescents  who were * *migrant farmworkers. I almost wrote "migrant farmworker adolescents." (slaps own hand) *

* We need to see the child/person *first,* before the differences & labels.
My seeming rant (I hope it isn't seen that way), is about *all* the 'isms'

 Language/vocabulary/syntax has actually proven to change*
* societal attitudes in positive directions.*

* Please don't take my comments personally. ReallyReallyReally. I have been on a path to change the World since I was a little girl. I've seen language help... *

* Thanks for reading. xx 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


*​_

 
I certainly understand that.  We have patients (young and old) who have physical and/or mental issues who are a joy to help.  The practice I work for has pediatric specialists, retinal, corneal, etc... so we see pretty much everything.  I used to babysit a boy who was born with downs syndrome when I was a teen, and beyond his obsession with Teenage Muntant Ninja Turtles, he was a fun kid and no more of a handful than any of the other boys I watched.  

The only reason I added that to my rant was because sometimes there are valid reasons for a child to freak out... especially in a medical setting where they've already had drops put in their eyes, etc and there's a degree of mistrust before they even make it over to pick out glasses.  

Years ago, I helped a child who was tactile defensive (extremely sensitive to touching of any kind) pick out glasses.  It certainly was a challenge and took a bit of time to do it, but he handled the situation beautifully... which is so much more than I can say about little "Damien" in my rant.  I'm convinced much of the credit in both the good and the bad case goes to the mothers and how they chose to handle new situations with their children.

BTW, little "Damien" came in today again... this time with both mom and dad present.  When the child started screaming again, dad was actually laughing like it was all very amusing that his son was a complete terror.  I popped some Advil and closed my office door to help muffle the sounds.  God be with the teacher who eventually has this kid in her classroom.


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## knoxydoll (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_It is. Of course, we have a really cool little waiver that says that they can't sue us for their kids being retards. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
Sometimes I wish we had that while I was working security. Sometimes I wish I could just deck people for no reason. I could tackle people if they started to run away though. That was always fun.


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## Shimmer (Feb 8, 2008)

I like  being able to take away gear when kids act like hooligans. 

Like I said, once that waiver's signed, if their kids run smack into the boulder over and over again and fall down unconscious, or if they fall off a belay point, it's not anything we're liable for.


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## knoxydoll (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_I like  being able to take away gear when kids act like hooligans. 

Like I said, once that waiver's signed, if their kids run smack into the boulder over and over again and fall down unconscious, or if they fall off a belay point, it's not anything we're liable for._

 
The families would still try and sue. You live in the States, and it's the American Way.


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## Shimmer (Feb 8, 2008)

Try =/= success


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## knoxydoll (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_Try =/= success 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	


_

 
Oh I know. Totally OT from the original topic but... Someone tried to sue my brother-in-law, for 2 million $,  for an accident that happened two years ago, that they already received money from the insurance companies. The reason he was served was for medical needs, that apparently appeared out of no where and were cured by the time of the papers. It was ridiculous. His father is a judge and almost pissed himself laughing when they tried this. The suit was just thrown out. I don't understand why people would just be that greedy that they try and ruin someone's life for no apparent reason then to get more money. It's like that Judge in the states that sued the dry cleaners. I'm scared the American Way is moving up North. People need to stop abusing the systems and start having respect for their fellow man.


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## elegant-one (Feb 8, 2008)

We have a friend that is a teacher and she said they can't hardly take the kids anymore...she said that the parents are terrible. So these parents think that if you throw more tax dollars at the school the kids will get smarter...

In our area, the studies have shown that the more money that is given to the schools, the grades get lower and the kids can't read, articulate, do math...on & on.  And we used to have one of the best school systems with the best grading - so something has changed.


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## Shimmer (Feb 8, 2008)

Knoxydoll - That would be nice though it's unlikely. :/


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## redambition (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *persephonewillo* 

 
_my son has to behave in public and at home, but even with the best laid out plans there is always the chance things aren't going to go well.  we do our best to cope and not cause trouble for random strangers in the area.  but sometimes it happens.  

the general rule is that when it starts happening and he isn't able to calm down (he does sometimes, he's learning coping methods and isn't as bad as he once was) we go home.  end of story.  HOWEVER, there are times when we CAN'T just drop everything.  there have been times at the pharmacy when i'm picking up my meds and i CAN'T leave just right at that moment that he starts.  instead of people offering to help ("hey, would you like to go ahead of me so you can get out of here faster?", etc), i get evil looks and hear nasty comments.  never to my face, mind you... always in the passive aggressive manner of a snide remark to someone else within my earshot.  you know, as if i don't KNOW my child is on the verge of a breakdown in the middle of a public space.  as if i'm not already trying to calm him down so that we can get through the next 4 minutes without more trouble.  the reactions from strangers are sometimes in worse behaviour than my son's.  but they are accepted, even encouraged.  why is that?  and if i mention ADD/ADHD there is the stigma of using it as an "excuse".

i can't keep him locked up in the house because there is the chance he might disturb a stranger with his behaviours.  he can't learn to cope and calm down if he is hidden away from the world.  where is the win in this situation?_

 
if you are trying to calm your child and avoid a total meltdown then kudos to you 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 i only have an issue when the child is a real devil spawn (read spoiled, pampered brat) and the parent just refuses to do anything about the bad behaviour.

my cousin springs to mind. he is extremely bratty and snotty - and rather than try and do anything about it, his parents indulge his behaviour and let him do whatever he wants. a classic example: offer him some food he doesn't like (99% of all foods in existence, he's a very picky eater) and he will scream "YUK!" at you. he's old enough to have learnt how to say "no, thank you", but his parents let him scream yuk at any food he doesn't like, they just smile at it. result: he does it to everyone. my mother was a bit offended that he did it at the table when he came to visit. everything was proclaimed to be yuk (without being tried, i might add).

compare that to another cousin from different parents: if she ever said anything like that - instant rebuke. as a result she's never said anything like that when she is visiting someone and is offered food she doesn't want to eat. she's so polite and well mannered. she acts up as well, but she understands when no means no.


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## gwaste (Feb 8, 2008)

You know what else helps kids behave?

Don't feed them candy, frappacinos, soda, chips, burgers, cookies, etc... just to make them shut up.  It doesn't work and it just makes the kids even more obnoxious because they get used to having their every desire fed - also, it's AMAZING how different kids that are raised on a healthy diet and only given candy, etc... as a special treat.  I guess it's sort of like a form of discipline without having to physically discipline your children.

Better yet, actually be involved with your child and make time to do things with them!  No, this doesn't mean taking them with you to the grocery store or your girlfriends house to play with her kids while you chat it up - that's not connecting with your kids, it's more just bringing them around for your convenience (which there's absolutely nothing wrong with unless they're being unruly) - making it something that they're interested in and care about going to see, and if they misbehave that you're more than willing to leave right then - and go through with it when they do... I was pretty upset whenever this happened to me when I was little!


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## redambition (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *gwaste* 

 
_Don't feed them candy, frappacinos, soda, chips, burgers, cookies, etc... just to make them shut up.  It doesn't work and it just makes the kids even more obnoxious because they get used to having their every desire fed - also, it's AMAZING how different kids that are raised on a healthy diet and only given candy, etc... as a special treat.  I guess it's sort of like a form of discipline without having to physically discipline your children._

 
oh hell yes. refined sugar is like speed for kids! (you can add that effect to the spoilt-bratness of always getting what they want).

jamie oliver showed how this worked in his school dinner series. he got a family that fed their kids processed foods, soft drinks and lollies most of the time. the kids were absolute terrors. he then changed the family's diet. after they switched to the diet of home cooked meals using lots of fresh ingredients and no lollies (except as a treat), the change was amazing. even the parents were stunned that their kids were so much calmer.

he's been campaigning for a while now to make the lunches provided in schools in the UK to be healthy and nutritious.

if you can get a hold of the series, i highly recommend watching it.


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## lizardprincesa (Feb 8, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by **KT** 

 
_I certainly understand that.  We have patients (young and old) who have physical and/or mental issues who are a joy to help.  The practice I work for has pediatric specialists, retinal, corneal, etc... so we see pretty much everything.  I used to babysit a boy who was born with downs syndrome when I was a teen, and beyond his obsession with Teenage Muntant Ninja Turtles, he was a fun kid and no more of a handful than any of the other boys I watched.  

The only reason I added that to my rant was because sometimes there are valid reasons for a child to freak out... especially in a medical setting where they've already had drops put in their eyes, etc and there's a degree of mistrust before they even make it over to pick out glasses.  

Years ago, I helped a child who was tactile defensive (extremely sensitive to touching of any kind) pick out glasses.  It certainly was a challenge and took a bit of time to do it, but he handled the situation beautifully... which is so much more than I can say about little "Damien" in my rant.  I'm convinced much of the credit in both the good and the bad case goes to the mothers and how they chose to handle new situations with their children.

BTW, little "Damien" came in today again... this time with both mom and dad present.  When the child started screaming again, dad was actually laughing like it was all very amusing that his son was a complete terror.  I popped some Advil and closed my office door to help muffle the sounds.  God be with the teacher who eventually has this kid in her classroom._

 
*You are a doll, & the kids with whom you've worked are so fortunate to have you. I just finished writing you a conversational reply for 1 whole hour, & I moved something the wrong way (either the keyboard or my body (I have a herniated disc in my back which is causing me all sorts of problems) & I got, what my techy hubby calls, "The Blue Screen of Death." Crash! Gone 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			



*

* I so enjoyed your post. You are a truly good Soul.*

* I had so much more to say, but I always do! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 You've been saved from a huge conversation-novel, by a technical meltdown. Maybe I'll pester you another time. I wrote you only positive, so, rather than a million words, please catch HeartVibes from over here!*

* Hope your Night Sparkles with Love & Stars,*
*     CherylFaith*

* PS pics of my baby & our pregnant Cathy cat ( & more 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 you can see here, if anybody wants a laugh:* 

http://www.makeupalley.com/account/p...princesslover/​


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## chocodcocoa (Feb 9, 2008)

Some kids NEED to be slapped hard in the face.

I still remember the day when I heard this teenage (13 or 14ish) girl say to her mom: "I want this dress! I need this dress for my party! Get me the dress you [email protected] s|ut!" and the woman just went "Okay honey!"

...wtf O.O


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## daisyv316 (Feb 9, 2008)

I concur!!!


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## FullWroth (Feb 9, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *gwaste* 

 
_also, it's AMAZING how different kids that are raised on a healthy diet and only given candy, etc... as a special treat.  I guess it's sort of like a form of discipline without having to physically discipline your children._

 
I completely agree with the rest of your points, but with this one, you have to be really careful and tread a really fine line between "limited, balanced junk" and "strict diet." Kids with strict diets frequently have a much higher chance of gorging themselves on sweets and junk the minute they get out on their own, and making themselves sick and unhealthy in a matter of months (what do they call it, the freshman 15 or 40 or something? Because it happens in your freshman year of college?). Granted, I also know a girl who was raised on a healthy diet, and she usually ends up getting healthy snacks when she's got the munchies, but - at least in my personal experience - she's the exception rather than the rule.

But parenting is hard, man, you don't really have to be a parent to guess that it is, and I realize it needs to be custom-adjusted for every individual child, so kudos to you guys who are managing it and producing polite and intelligent future members of society. May they counteract the increasing tide of brats who can't even use a freaking ruler.


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## DevinGirl (Feb 9, 2008)

Shim...I really wish you'd get over your inhibitions & say what's really on your mind.  Stop sugar-coating things, Love


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## ms.marymac (Feb 9, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *newagetomatoz;1013244
[B* 
_Parents, stop letting your kids be little self-absorbed tyrants.  We live here too.[/b]_

 
This.  

What's so sad is that are so many self-absorbed adults running around these days, I can't see many of them actually teaching their kids that they are not the center of the universe. Whenever I encounter someone like this, young or old, I just want to tell them that their mom lied to them.


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## elegant-one (Feb 9, 2008)

Theres also a need for reward as well as discipline, however not in the same way parents give their kids everything they want. They must be taught by example, as children learn what they live. And, the fact that there are consequences for actions, both good & bad.

We had just a few i wouldn't call them rules but more principles. No premarital sex, no drugs/drinking, no one drives your car...those are the things when they're young that can really affect/ruin their whole life.  Our son actually told us when he was 12 or 13 that he saw how some of his friends ruined their lives by their choices and that he did not want to live like that. Other things were negotiable with maturity & responsibility. We also lived a life of love, respect, & consideration towards each other as well as others. 

We also supported his talents & likes as well as rewarding academic achievement - a must. And, we talked to him as a person, not an idiot or just a kid...real life communication.

Many parents say that they do not have the money to send their kids to college (we didn't) but our son soon learned that with hard work & good grades came the reward of scholarships. His first year of college he wrote a letter & was given $1500.00, late on receiving a full tuition waiver for academic achievements.  Other kids could have received the same, but they were either too lazy or busy drinking or something to write the letter. There are plenty of resources if its searched out.

He became a College Professor at the age of 23. While still teaching, he then created his own business and travels the world (with the talent that was nurtured) which has become extremely successful & world renowned. He was interviewed for a magazine article on him, and he attributed his success to the "support & work ethics he learned from his parents". I think we cried for a week after reading that! Til this day (he is now 28) he always gives credit to us his parents for providing the foundation for his success. *tears come to eyes*

Although we are extremely proud, this isn't to brag, but rather present a balanced view in parenting. There is a ditch on either side of the road to reward & discipline.

BTW - we never, ever let him scream in public


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## darkishstar (Feb 9, 2008)

Shoot. If I acted like the kids did these days when I was there age, I would get a beating to hell and back.

Hell, I still can get smacked upside the head if I say something stupid to my dad.

It was worse when I was younger, slapped on the back of the hand, the shoulder, the back, the back of the head. Well, that was my dad. But my mom would use the handles of fly swatters (metal ones O_O), clothes hangers, rolled up magazines, and her hand as well.

And I know that I would've deserved it. Because I was either being crazy and stupid and messing shit up. I don't want to have kids, but if I did, I would spank them too. Well, no I wouldn't.

If they piss me off:
"Drop and give me 50 push-ups!"
Them: "We won't do it agaaaaaain!"
Then they can't call child protection agencies because I didn't beat them. *cackles* Or I'd make them do some sort of tortuous martial arts thing that I did. Like 100 kicks. Or stances.. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 sitting in an invisible chair anyone? 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




Or:
If they're going to keep swinging their toy around and breaking stuff?
I'm going to take it away from them till they know that they will get it back if they behave.

See, you don't even have to lay a finger on kids for them to know that they're going to get it and get it good.
If they really got me mad though.. I'd probably smack them a little.


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## entipy (Feb 10, 2008)

OMFG!!! I haven't read all these responses, but... you are my new hero!!! 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	
















You said it ALL, sister!


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## elegant-one (Feb 10, 2008)

Here's some great parenting skills:

A young mom who is more occupied with her Mary Kay business than her 3 year old, was on the phone (conference call) while the kid wanders out the door in diapers and a t-shirt and is found standing in the middle of the road - happened twice

Another Mary Kay lady shows up at a meeting (at the same house) leaves 3 young boys in a running SUV in 90 degree heat for at least an hour & a half - oh well, they at least had a video player inside to babysit them *tongue in cheek*


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## glassy girl (Feb 10, 2008)

OMG it's like if i wrote that. Till this day i have never met anyone close to my parenting skills.lol  I'm told i'm to harsh from everybody but on the other hand i'm told i have such a Wonderful, Respectfull , kind ,friendly,( i could go on forever) kid (8 yrs old) and i'm like thank u if it wasn't 4 me actully loving my son enough and putting my foot down or down on his ass. I would not have such an amazing son loving ur kids is not just hugs and kisses(which he gets plenty of) it's also having rules and boundries,and the ocassional beat down lol !


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## Beauty Mark (Feb 10, 2008)

I think what all people (parents, non-parents, future parents) should get out of these rants is that the most important thing is what you do. You can't always control your kid's behavior, but you can react to it in an effective way beyond laughing or indulging.

And I hate Heelies too. I wonder how many stupid lawsuits have occurred because of them


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## gwaste (Feb 12, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *FullWroth* 

 
_I completely agree with the rest of your points, but with this one, you have to be really careful and tread a really fine line between "limited, balanced junk" and "strict diet." Kids with strict diets frequently have a much higher chance of gorging themselves on sweets and junk the minute they get out on their own, and making themselves sick and unhealthy in a matter of months (what do they call it, the freshman 15 or 40 or something? Because it happens in your freshman year of college?). Granted, I also know a girl who was raised on a healthy diet, and she usually ends up getting healthy snacks when she's got the munchies, but - at least in my personal experience - she's the exception rather than the rule.

But parenting is hard, man, you don't really have to be a parent to guess that it is, and I realize it needs to be custom-adjusted for every individual child, so kudos to you guys who are managing it and producing polite and intelligent future members of society. May they counteract the increasing tide of brats who can't even use a freaking ruler._

 
You know, I partially agree that kids who are limited on junk gorge themselves when they get their hands on it - because I did it... only one or two times though, because I got REALLY sick both times and developed an aversion to it.... I didn't exactly like puking or laying in bed all night when I could of been out doing something, y'know?

I know a lot of kids who were raised that way, myself included, and most of us to this day still don't eat a lot of refined sugar, processed foods, etc... as we're getting into our 20s.  I think it's one of those anecdotal things where it depends on who you know - just saying, you never hear reports that tell you to give your kids these things on a regular basis just so they won't gorge themselves...


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## angeluv009 (Feb 14, 2008)

Quote:

   Originally Posted by *Shimmer* 

 
_ 

P.S. If I ever find the motherfucker who created Heelies, I'm going to beat him within an inch of his life with one of those fucking shoes._

 
I agree, i hate those devil spawn children!!! And too-grown teen girls.


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## tripwirechick (Feb 29, 2008)

I could not have said it better. There are so many stupid people out there reproducing it makes me sick. A lot of kids and teenagers have such a sense of entitlement these days and it's only the parents to blame. I personally don't want to have children, but I have mad respect for people who can teach their kids respect and manners and actually mould them into a thoughtful human being.


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## SerenityRaine (Mar 6, 2008)

Especially now as my cousin has moved into my parents house I'm wondering where parenting has gone these days. 2 weeks ago was the end of my peace. Now everyday is a living hell. She has a 11 year old girl & a 6 year old boy. 

EVERYDAY. Its can I have this? Can I have that? Gimme that. I want that. What the hell happened to the old saying that you can't have everything you see? My house isn't a fricking store. My mother taught me friend or family, that if I were at someone's house it wasn't polite to ask for anything other than a glass of water. The girl does it more than the boy. Its so rude to ask for everything you see. Makes you a begger, a mooch. No one likes either. Apparently, according to my grandparents she's always been like this. I find it rather hard to believe that this behavior has gone THIS long with out being corrected. My aunt, their grandmother always made sure she corrected any out of control kid. I just don't see how my cousin can be so OBLIVIOUS. One night she was making dinner & had already fed her kids. She had just begun eating her dinner herself and her daughter told her to give her the rest of the pasta. 

I was trying to hint to my cousin by telling her daughter that I have never heard anyone use the phrase "can I have that" as much as her. And, her explaination? Monkey see, Monkey do. WTF! Thats not an explaination. My dogs know better than this kid that you can't have everything you see. They guard their food bowls if one tries to eat the others food they get snapped at.

The other day I was eating a sliced apple and the brat grabbed a piece and asked if she could have it. Grabbing before asking. Where the hell are her manners. I had to grab it back. All her mom did was said don't do it. Then the next day her son did the same thing. And, her response was that you can't have that. 

The thing that pisses me off even more than the obnoxious of the kids asking for everything is that my cousin doesn't watch them. This house is really meant for kids. Her son broke a button on our home automation system. Does she know how much that thing costs and how much it is going to cost to fix it? I hate the fact that ppl think that you since you have money that its not a big deal if something gets broken. I showed my cousin the button & asked if she knew what happened to it. All she said was that her son probably did it. Thats it WTH? No sorry, or I'll pay to get it fixed. Nothing. So, far her kids have destroyed 5 things...

So, besides my cousin living with us, we have seminary students who live with us permanently in our basement and we had missionaries staying with us for 6 days. So, for the past two days its only been me holding down fort. My mom's been out of town for nearly 2 weeks and my dad 2 days. So, last night when her daughter found out that the missionaries were leaving she was talking about how she wanted to stay in that room. I told her no cuz my dad had stated that he only wanted them in one room. Today I went up to my room with my best friend to change b4 we went out. After, I had changed I noticed that the brat (girl) was in the room. I'm like I already told you that you can't stay in there. She proceded to give me lip all the while my friend and her mother were standing there. She goes "but, I just got my bag in here."I'm like you can't, cuz my mom wants you all in one room." As usual her mother really didn't do anything.. My friend said that she might've been perturbed/mad at me. But, WTH am I supposed to do? Let her mess up another room, I think not. 

Sorry for the rant, but this is majorly pissing me off. Idk what to do. My cousin is 33 and I'm 24. I don't have kids. Parenting is a touchy subject & I don't really want to be the one to tell her. Its hard too cuz she's goin through a rough time with her husband. [Her pastor labeled him a socio-path & he's been hitting the bottle. Bad combo. But no excuse for lack of parenting.]

Any suggestions would be great! I was thinking of writing her a letter. In a nice manner cuz I don't want to hurt her but I just want to make her aware of her kids. I still can't see how she's oblivious to her kids. I don't have any but my dogs are the closest things. When they bark too much I cringe. It makes me feel self conscience & I feel bad that they don't shut up right away. [Its hard to get 4 dogs to quit barking. 2 are mine. Bark collars are in order.] 

I feel bad my mom checks in with me daily. In a way I feel I tattled. My mom called her sister to have her try to talk to my cousin about her kids. My aunt called her but only got her voicemail. This shit has to stop somehow... just hoping sooner than later.


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## duckduck (Mar 6, 2008)

I was in Sephora the other day and some 10 year old kid was rolling around on his [email protected]!ng wheelies while mom made cursory attempts to keep the screaming baby down and tried out the latest NARS lipgloss. I was feeling rather passive, so I just gave her an ugly look. Surprisingly, she looked like she felt bad after that, and she and the kids were out of the store within a minute. I felt a little bad for embarrassing her out of the store, but hey, maybe she'll learn that a screaming baby and a kid on wheelies don't belong in my goddamn Sephora.


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## Chic 2k6 (Mar 6, 2008)

I was a child from hell when i was a kid. I'd throw temper tantrums, be dragged through streets and stores by my hand or lead. My poor mother was mortified but she still took me out to town once a week because she didn't want me to have my own way with stuff.

That being said, I was born deaf so I was two years behind normal hearing development so I couldn't be reasoned with, couldn't understand the timing, behavious etc... I feel guilty now putting my parents through that, especially my mom 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	





I name hellion children 'Crotch Droppings' because that's what they are. I see heelies out and about (yes the damn things are invading the UK) and I just glare at them, I witnessed a stupid 11 year old crash into a display in the supermarker (the fruit & veg section) and I stared at the kid in disgust because that kid was going to raise merry hell about things being in his way. 

I hate the lame excuse of parents being scared of their children not liking them (hello? Parents? not meant to be liked and be friends)


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