# I want to feel good naked



## kimberlane (May 27, 2009)

So hello there. I have finally gotten sick and tired of my big belly and lazy a$$ ways. I have lost 20lbs since last november, with the help of some diet pills. Though I quit taking them in Jan. gained about ten of it back and somehow, _I don't know how since I haven't once worked out,_ managed to lose it and have been steady at 140 for the last 2 weeks or so. So I am 5'5" I understand that now I am in the healthy range of weight but I'd like to get down to 120 but I would be happy with 130 which was my original goal. (_Is it just me or when you start getting relatively close to your dream weight you automatically want it just a little lower_. I don't know if that sounds small but I have a small frame, and it is all mush. I will be happy if I can get toned stomache, arms, butt, and legs. So everything basically. And I dream of fitting back into my size 5 jeans without muffin top. Right now I am wearing a 7 or at least the one pair of jeans I own that I can fit into are a size 7. Mainly because I have refused to buy anything to support the weight gain. Anyways, I was gonna get a membership to a gym, but have tried it before and I don't like working out in front of people, and it is expensive. So I am gonna be doing two of spark peoples bootcamps sweatsuit to swimsuit and new you, concurrently. Also, I plan to do cardio at least 20 mins a day for the next 2 weeks then up it to 30 min after that. Then I got the wii fit, I will prolly add in after two weeks also. I would do it now, but I gotta make sure I get motivated with the rest first. I did both bootcamp videos today, and like 15 min of cardio. Hopefully tomorrow I will do the full 20 min. I am gonna begin on a diet meal plan also, try to do the 6 small meal thing as well as add my left over diet pills to kina energize me and jump start the program. My boyfriend has been gone working since April 3, I had plan to be exercising and dieting this whole time, but I keep putting it off. Now I only got 6 weeks.Just think I could already be more toned now. But no I am lazy, it makes me sick. The thing I am worried about mostly is creating a meal plan that I can still use when he returns, and hopefully continue excersing. I just want to feel good naked. And they say exercise can help body image as well as endorphins so, I'd like to get some of that. Gosh this has been longer than I thought. Hopefully I keep up with it. I will at least try to do weigh in and measurements each week on tuesday I guess. 

Measurements today (5-26-09)
neck 12 1/4"
waist 30"
bust 39 1/2" (I do have dd's)
hips 39 1/2"
arms 10 1/2" (dear god almost as big as my neck, not cool dude)
thigh 22 1/4"
calf 14 1/4"
Weight 140.4 lbs

Okay so went a little measue crazy, and had to do it myself so my be a little off, oh well, just means it will always be off so should still tell a difference. I measured that fattest part of everything I think that is what you are suppose to do. Well see you next week if I don't before then. good luck everyone.


----------



## gildedangel (May 27, 2009)

Congratulations on losing weight and for being so motivated to lose more! I love the Wii Fit, it motivates me to exercise! Don't be too harsh on your body though, it sounds a lot like you may overwork yourself a little. Make sure to eat healthy and drink lots and lots of water too, that will help you a lot in reaching your goals! Woo! You go girl!!!


----------



## kaliraksha (May 27, 2009)

Yay! A new journal! Congrats on deciding to loose weight for yourself. There are definitely ways to workout without the gym, especially if you have gym phobia. I have a little bit of that... and my gym membership mostly goes to waste... I workout at home/around town most often... and occasionally I go to the gym just to take a workout class. Or I go at like midnight so I can be gross and unkempt in peace... hehe.


----------



## kimberlane (May 29, 2009)

guiledangel- don't worry about me overworkin, I am as lazy as they come and if I can find a way out of it I will. 

Progress so far- So I have to be completely honest and say I lied before, I only did one video. I don't know why I said I did both and the cardio because I didn't. I guess I wanted to make myself feel better about it or look better to you guys. But if I really want to make this change in my life I gotta be completely honest, and hold myself accountable in real life as well as on here. After all that is what this is for. I feel really bad for it, not just because I lied to myself, but I feel like I violated your trust (for the few that are reading) and I am not that person. So to you I apologize, I am sincerely sorry.

Anywho, on to brighter matters. I did do both videos yesterday. Promise! lol. but not the cardio. Like I said I am lazy, and after I did those I was just like that is enough. Today I did both videos, and just got done with cardio. I must say I feel amazing. I guess those endorphens are kickin in. WOO HOO! I really didn't want to do the cardio at first, but I did. I decided not to do the bike thing though. I got a playlist together, ran and danced around, bounced around on my exercise ball, doing like a penguin run,lol basically anything to keep me moving and interested. Maybe that is why I hated cardio. Boring! Not so much this way. But I can't imagine what someone would think if they saw me, prolly think I was crazy.

As far as nutrition goes, I'll post the menu I made for this week as well as what I actually ate when I check In on Tuesday. I have been trying to eat less more often but it is hard. Especially when I don't feel full. Part of my problem though is I enjoy eating for pleasure not hunger. Another thing is water. I hate it! Even with that damn crystal lite stuff. But I have switched to juice though I have allowed myself a glass of soda a day. I know soda prolly isn't the best thing. But use to it was all I drank, and you only live once and I like it and won't deprive myself of my dear old pepsi. lol

Well I guess that is enough. It is kinda fun sittin writing about this journey. I took some pics of myself with my phone camera yesterday, I look pregnant, lol really though it is sad, so unless this changes in the next 6 weeks, when I plan to hopefully have at least some of the results, I wont  show a before and after, but if I feel comfortable enough with the results I'll show it. I know I like to actually see how people transformed and not just the finished product. That way I know they actually had a problem before. lol Also it gives you hope that you to can go from flab to fab, so they say. Gosh, I said that was enough and then wrote another paragragh. Ah, well, sorry guys. See ya later....


----------



## kimberlane (May 29, 2009)

by the way I do plan on this being a lifestyle change not just for 6 weeks, just hope to see some results before boyfriend gets back. Got a sexy outfit to get into!


----------



## kimberlane (Jun 2, 2009)

Update 6/2/09
So I weighed myself today. 138.2 So I lost about 2 lbs. I was going to post my menu plan. but since I didn't abide by it wholeheartedly, I won't. Hmm. Sat I took the day off. I didn't mean to but me and Jarr, my boyfriend, got into a fight over the phone that lasted for hours. So I was to depressed to exercise. Sunday I didn't do cardio because the workout vids I did were cardio. I think I will continue that way though. Because If I don't allow myself some days free off exercise or less of it I will end up just taken days off. This way they are built in, and from what I have read you are suppose to take some time off. My period started this week. I know, I know, TMI. But it affects the workout situation, because it is pretty hardcore and hurts and makes me just want to sleep. So I don't know how well this week will go. I started back on the wii fit though yesterday. You can track stuff on there too so I will prolly try to do something everyday or so. I am actually surprised I lost 2 pounds. I have been doin good on drinking juices and I think that helps, and I eat veggies with every meal. I still can only eat two meals a day though, and then two snacks. Some days I can eat more, but if I don't feel like it I don't think I should force myself, but I don't know if I need to be eating more. I don't get hungry so I guess I am ok.I want to try to get a tredmill sometime in the next two weeks, so I can start running they say that is the best to lose fat, which I need to do so I am not just building my abs up under my fat. I hate running though, with a passion, but hey it accomplishes two things, burns calories and builds stamina, both of those I could use. Anyway, I guess I am gonna go eat my dinner. Hope everyone is doin well.


----------



## blindpassion (Jun 2, 2009)

Good for you!!!!

Be proud of what you've lost so far 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





Im on the same journey myself, I'm going to a personal trainer and have been eating a really healthy diet.

It gets easier. <3


----------



## kaliraksha (Jul 24, 2009)

Congrats on your progress! Don't be too hard on yourself.. we all have set backs.

How's it going now?


----------



## kimberlane (Aug 6, 2009)

Hey guys it's me again. Whew, I've been gone for awhile. I jumped off the weight-loss wagon, and joined the lets-be-lazy bus. Then my boyfriend had to come home from his traveling job early b/c his dad almost died. We were at the hospital three weeks waitin in icu. Staying with his mother, aunt, 2 nephews, their 3 dogs, our dog and his dads dog. So needless to say it was very stressful, and had gained 10 lbs in just a month. Urgg
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




.  So he had to leave again, my boyfriend that is, His dad got better, work called, and about 3 weeks ago he left.
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 So this time I decided I needed to be strong to make changes in my body and spirt and just my life. Try to make myself better inside and out. Become a better housekeeper, yard worker, student, a better lover, (lookin up stuff to spice it we have been together 6 years Nov 1) and everything else better. Mainly I am just tired of lookin at myself as lazy.Anywho, You will be happy to know I am back on the weight loss wagon. I joined a womens gym about two weeks ago, it is set up alot like curves, I am guessing from what I have heard about curves. I have been going M-F for the last two weeks I am very proud, the longest I have stuck it out!
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	




 I have lost 8 lbs, but I know I haven't been eating right. For some reason I have become depressed in an opposite way then usual, I have to make myself eat and even when I do I can't eat much. I don't know if I have just become scared of food, and getting bigger again, or if I am just trying to teach myself portion control, or if I have a disorder. It's not to the disorder point yet, I doubt it will as I love food, and could never bring myself to vomit or anything. I don't know. This post is weird I guess full of useless info really, sorry. As far as my workout goes I switch off doing legs one day and arms the next with about 20 mins of cardio, and an ab exercise thrownin everyday, They also have one of those vibrating machines that is suppose to give you a full body workout in 10 min, I have been doing that to. I saw it on the show "the Doctors" but I don't know if it is doing anything, but it's easy and relaxing. They did all my measurements and stuff when I started. It's pretty hands off though, you track stuff yourself, do how much you want when you want. I don't really like that bc I would push myself harder if someone else was telling me to. Am I the only one like that? Anyway this post is long sorry lot to get out. Next week I think I get measured again. I am excited and hope there is a difference. It's like I see differences but then I tell myself I look the same and nothins changed. So Im starting to feel like its not doing anything and I am wasting my time. But then I remind myself that its only been two weeks it is gonna take at the very least a month before I really start to notice and even longe for me to get the definition that I want, which right now I would settle for a lot less then the dream, but I'll get there I guess. Just gotta keep on keepin' on. Hope everyone is doing well with their chosen programs.


----------



## kimberlane (Aug 6, 2009)

oh yeah I amback down to 138, so only 13 lbs to go! Doesn't sound like a lot, but oh how it is.


----------



## kaliraksha (Aug 7, 2009)

Sorry to hear about your boyfriend's dad but glad he's better now and that you're back on track. Anyone would lose sight of their goals through all that turmoil.

I'm happy you're back on track, but don't be scared of food! As long as you're eating healthy... our body relies on food... feed it too little and it's bad too. I find it hard to eat enough when all I eat is healthy food... because it has so many less calories than other foods, that I need to eat more of it. But, of course it has so many important nutrients and fuel that will help you stay slim and happy! I've seen woman starve themselves to be slim... but they have no energy, no glow, they're not as healthy as they could be. 

Keep us updated and best of luck!


----------



## kimberlane (Aug 20, 2009)

Hey guys me again. Its nice to say I have been keeping up  with going to the gym. Last week I only went twice, I had a lot going on, but I let the excuses excuse me and I shouldn't have. I am still at 138. I started my fall classes on tues and thurs, so now the plan is mon, wed, fri, and maybe sat if I am up for it. I am leaving it open, but I don't know if I should. Yesterday I felt so happy, I look at myself in the mirror and I see little changes. Like my belly was flatter, and then today I look at it and it looks big again. I did start my period today so maybe I am bloated, but then wouldn't I have been yesterday too? Anywho, my boyfriend comes home in 2 to 3 weeks, I wish I knew specifically, but I doubt I'll get to lose much more in that time frame so I am dissappointed. I wonder if he'll even notice? I hope so I really have worked hard, and really it has for the most part made me feel better about myself. But I want to look better for him, not like thats why I am doin this, but like I wanna look good, for myself, but also be someone he's lucky to get. If that makes any sense. I guess I feel like no one notices me anymore, not like I need someone else but just that its nice when you catch someone looking at you or trying to flirt, makes you feel pretty. I know that I put up all these walls though and that guys are like scared of me, even my boyfriend said he was, that I was intimidating, mostly because of my smart ass mouth I guess. Oh well, thats alot of jumpin around and nothin that has to do with workin out, but there it is. Guess I am just depressed today, boo hoo. lol


----------



## kaliraksha (Sep 9, 2009)

It's awesome that you're maintaining your weight. Also, being on your period will make you bloated and sometimes on different days. In 2-3 weeks you may not lose more weight but you could definitely tone up and stay fit and strong for those reunion activities


----------

